Higgs Boson
28 Jul 2005, 10:02
* Apologies if this has been posted before *
Aussie cricket fan apologises for gloating spree
by STAFF REPORTERS
A repentant Raoul Belmans spoke to the media out the front of his Montmorency home last night to defend charges that he gloated “with unnecessary vigour” to English friends and workmates after learning the Australian cricketers had won the first Ashes test by 239 runs.
Belmans, the only Australian lawyer working in the Melbourne offices of English legal firm Crumpet, Blowfeld & Bumstead, claims he did not intend to cause offence with his actions.
“It’s true I turned up to work dressed in my boxing kangaroo boxer shorts, a Greg Chappell hat, orange keepers’ glove and nothing else,” Belmans told reporters.
“It’s also true I went to the Monday morning meeting dressed that way, and whenever I was required to speak I repeated the phrase ‘Bowling Warney’. I’m also sorry that when our appeal to the MD for a percolator for the kitchen was upheld, I did the Brett Lee chainsaw dance and pointed the office manager to the dressing room, so to speak, because she had opposed me on that request. I’m sorry for those actions.”
According to reports, Belmans’ outburst continued after the 43 year old left work on Monday. Police have pieced together a destructive trail of gloating that began with friends at the Elephant & Wheelbarrow in the CBD and continued for another six hours.
“Prior to being apprehended, Mr Belmans had used the remaining credit on his mobile phone ringing associates in the UK, drank his savings account dry at a city sports bar that was showing replays of the match, and written the number 239 in urine on the side of a bus stop,” a police spokesman told thebladder.com. “He was taken into protective custody shortly after at that.”
A contrite Belmans says he hopes his family, friends, and workmates will “find it in their hearts to forgive” him now that he has acknowledged he has a problem with gloating.
“The only thing that could trigger it is if Glenn McGrath rips through the English top order again,” Belmans said.
“But the psychologist at work, David Gower Snr, told me McGrath was an old hack who will break down soon or we’re all doomed. So I might finally have this gloating thing beat, which is a relief. I can tell you that much for free.”
Courtesy of The Bladder
:D
Aussie cricket fan apologises for gloating spree
by STAFF REPORTERS
A repentant Raoul Belmans spoke to the media out the front of his Montmorency home last night to defend charges that he gloated “with unnecessary vigour” to English friends and workmates after learning the Australian cricketers had won the first Ashes test by 239 runs.
Belmans, the only Australian lawyer working in the Melbourne offices of English legal firm Crumpet, Blowfeld & Bumstead, claims he did not intend to cause offence with his actions.
“It’s true I turned up to work dressed in my boxing kangaroo boxer shorts, a Greg Chappell hat, orange keepers’ glove and nothing else,” Belmans told reporters.
“It’s also true I went to the Monday morning meeting dressed that way, and whenever I was required to speak I repeated the phrase ‘Bowling Warney’. I’m also sorry that when our appeal to the MD for a percolator for the kitchen was upheld, I did the Brett Lee chainsaw dance and pointed the office manager to the dressing room, so to speak, because she had opposed me on that request. I’m sorry for those actions.”
According to reports, Belmans’ outburst continued after the 43 year old left work on Monday. Police have pieced together a destructive trail of gloating that began with friends at the Elephant & Wheelbarrow in the CBD and continued for another six hours.
“Prior to being apprehended, Mr Belmans had used the remaining credit on his mobile phone ringing associates in the UK, drank his savings account dry at a city sports bar that was showing replays of the match, and written the number 239 in urine on the side of a bus stop,” a police spokesman told thebladder.com. “He was taken into protective custody shortly after at that.”
A contrite Belmans says he hopes his family, friends, and workmates will “find it in their hearts to forgive” him now that he has acknowledged he has a problem with gloating.
“The only thing that could trigger it is if Glenn McGrath rips through the English top order again,” Belmans said.
“But the psychologist at work, David Gower Snr, told me McGrath was an old hack who will break down soon or we’re all doomed. So I might finally have this gloating thing beat, which is a relief. I can tell you that much for free.”
Courtesy of The Bladder
:D