Comical Simpsons Quotes as they apply to Footy and Footballers

[Zarko]

[Bart and Milhouse are watching the original Itchy cartoon]
Milhouse (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0370789/): [reading] "Itchy runs afoul of an Irishman." Watch out, Itchy. He's Irish.

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200604/r79585_228809.jpg

[Zarko]

Judge Harm: [a woman, to Bart] You remind me of myself... when I was a little boy.

http://about.theage.com.au/userimages/Caroline_Wilson.jpg

[Juddy88]

Bart:I sure could go for a 100 tacos right about now
http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c343/note_to_self88/plugga2.jpg

[don vito of fitzroy]

Kent Brockman: The following people are gay:

http://www.collingwood365.com/images/Players/image004.jpg

http://www.ezydvd.com.au/g/i/p/223292.jpg

http://www.aflpa.com.au/images/content/Brett_Kirk_.JPG

[Zarko]

Dr. Hibbert (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0790434/): You can't let a single bad experience scare you away from drugs.

http://static.flickr.com/23/44681403_7333efdda2_m.jpg

[tin can sam]

Bart - "Who wants to build character, lets just quit."

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/2/2a/200px-2006_AFL_Richmond.jpg

[Zarko]

Bart - "Who wants to build character, lets just quit."

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/2/2a/200px-2006_AFL_Richmond.jpg
:thumbsu: :thumbsu: :thumbsu:

[Zarko]

Krusty the Clown (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/): Here's a feature never before seen on TV - dumb pet tricks. Catch the rubber ball, Fifi.
[the dog goes for Krusty's nose]
Krusty the Clown (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/): AH. SOMEBODY SHOOT IT. SOMEBODY SHOOT IT.


http://www.essendonfc.com.au/images/06/r3g7.jpg

[Zarko]

Smithers (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0790434/): What's wrong with this country? Can't a man walk down the street without being offered a job?

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200505/r47345_124112.jpg

[The Sultan]

"...my belly is yella, my back is spineless..."

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200410/r32638_80924.jpg

[kane249]

http://about.theage.com.au/userimages/Caroline_Wilson.jpg

Groundskeeper Willie (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/): Ach Wendel. Tis a mighty puddle of puke.

[kane249]

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200605/r85151_249439.jpg

Homer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/): It's true, I'm a rageoholic! I just can't get enough RAGEOHOL!

[kane249]

Homer Simpson (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/): Urge to kill... rising...

http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/9/des_headland.jpghttp://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/19/adam_selwood.jpg

[Rory]

Leonard Nimoy: It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No.

http://www.saxton.com.au/saxton_db_data/images/Hutchison_Craig.jpg

[kane249]

Bart (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004813/): Mom, am I a butch or a femme?
Marge (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001413/): [with hand lifted] Honey, you can be anything you want to be.

http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/11/shane_crawford.jpg

[bus24]

Grampa Simpson: I always get the blame around here! Who threw a cane at the TV? Who fell into the china hutch? Who got their dentures stuck on the toilet?

http://img58.imageshack.us/img58/9493/robertharveyar3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[bus24]

Homer Simpson: I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.



http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200606/r89345_265292.jpg

[kane249]

Cletus (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000279/): He really speaks to me, the average Joe six-tooth.

http://www.icmi.com.au/images/ACTIVITY-119.jpghttp://www.theage.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1058853143092_2003/07/23/joffa2407.jpg

[kane249]

Chief Wiggum (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000279/): See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya; otherwise, I got no case and you'll go scot-free.

http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/19/daniel_chick.jpg

[estibador]

Lisa: Dad, don't you think you're overreacting?
Homer: Don't you think you're *under*reacting?
http://www.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,,5451521,00.jpg

Lisa: This conversation is over.
Homer: This conversation is *under*.
http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/ffximage/2007/04/17/selwood.jpg

[estibador]

Homer: Okay Marge, its your child against my child. The winner will be showered with praise. The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore.
http://www.footystamps.com/images/2006/Local%20Post/Other/b_wegmcj.jpg

[estibador]

Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat food.
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/c/c9/Whiskas_logo.png
http://www.australianrules.com.au/image/garryhocking.jpg

[estibador]

Homer: I'm sorry, Marge, but sometimes I think we're the worst family in town.
Marge: Well maybe we should move to a larger community.
http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/12/03/bencousins_wideweb__470x381,0.jpg

[Slamin]

Judge Harm: [a woman, to Bart] You remind me of myself... when I was a little boy.

http://about.theage.com.au/userimages/Caroline_Wilson.jpg


LOl, LOL...priceless !!!

[Slamin]

Best thread I have ever read....well done everyone !!!!:thumbsu: :thumbsu: :thumbsu: :thumbsu:

[jnash196]

Woman on Homer
"I heard they shaved a gorilla"
http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/16/fraser_gehrig.jpg

[estibador]

Weasel #1: Nelson, y-you're bleeding.
Nelson: Naw, happens all the time; somebody else's blood splatters on me.

http://geelong.keldar.net/Images/thumbnails/tn003630af.jpg

[estibador]

Grampa: [writing] I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television. We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals, who remember the good old days...

http://www.theage.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1067597199076_2003/11/01/02NEWMAN,0.jpg

[bus24]

Grampa: [writing] I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television. We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals, who remember the good old days...

http://www.theage.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1067597199076_2003/11/01/02NEWMAN,0.jpg

Quality :thumbsu: :thumbsu: :thumbsu: :D

[BK Eaglesfan]

Homer: "Your lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I, many of them incompetent boobs. I know this because I worked alongside them, gone bowling with them, watched them pass me over for promotions time and again. And I say... This stinks!"

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/img/sport/afl/1403_demetriou_g.jpg

[BK Eaglesfan]

Homer: "What's the point of going out, we're just going to end up back here anyway?"

http://markitup.com/Data/Images/AFLLadderGadget.png http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/9/96/125px-Carlton_fc.jpg

[BK Eaglesfan]

Homer: "Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!"

http://www.bordermail.com.au/news/image/316063_tn.jpg

[BK Eaglesfan]

(Apologies, this one may be seen as in slightly poor taste, it's more a crack at Nisbett)

Homer: What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/07/19/wbFOOTYgardiner2_narrowweb__300x455.jpg

[estibador]

Bart: I didn't do it. No one saw me do it. No one can prove anything.

http://www.abc.net.au/afl/2005/galleries/round7/images/15.jpg

[Raskolnikov]

Unknown woman (about the Simpsons)..."At first they were cute and funny, but now they're just annoying"

http://www.lookatwa.com.au/Sports/images/dockers.gif


love it:thumbsu:

[estibador]

[Homer is shot by tranquilizer darts.]
Homer: Avenge me, son. Avenge... my... death. [starts snoring]

http://www.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,,5324049,00.jpg

[the_big_sav]

http://www.sportspick.com.au/kioskHTML/sportsinfo/afl/images/Fevola.jpg

Frink - now this is an ordinary square
Wiggum - woah , slow down egghead
probably could be used for many footballers


http://about.theage.com.au/userimages/Rohan_Connolly.jpg

im not sure about this one but im pritty sure he was the reporter seen on that 'swingers' website, wasnt he :confused: if not its who ever that reporter was.

Homer: Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.



http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200407/r26342_65212.jpg

Homer: you know he has all the money in the world but their is one thing he cant buy
Marge: whats that?
Homer: a dinosaur

[the_big_sav]

Stan Taylor (Atoms quarterback): I used to party every night, sleep with lingerie models but then i met ned and his bible group and they showed me there was so much more i could have.

Homer (Shaking his head): Professional Athletes always wanting more.

[Yello Mit]

Bart Simpson: I want to be emancipated!
Homer Simpson: Emancipated? Why do you want that? Don't you like being a dude?

http://home.vicnet.net.au/~brad/images/s_lloyd.jpg

[estibador]

Marge: What on earth possessed you to get an earring?
http://newsbytes.curtin.edu.au/local/images/06_03/reconnect.jpg

Bart: Well, I'm keeping this earring and you can't stop me.
http://afl.lisaj.id.au/013087ay.jpg

[the_big_sav]

Homer, standing outside a gym: 'Gime? What's a gime???'

nathan krakouer, m.lappin, tim clarke etc

[estibador]

McBain: Leave me a message after the beep..BUT DON'T BE A MESSAGE HOG USING UP ALL MY TAPE!

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,1658,5402008,00.jpg

[Carl Spackler]

"This reminds me of that fat man I used to ride to work!" -Mr Burns

http://www.theage.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1054700442408_2003/06/07/lance_whitnall,0.jpg

[estibador]

Mr. Burns: I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

http://www.thesoaring.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/victory-dias.jpg

[parano1a]

http://www.primusclubcall.com.au/images/kfc_logo_whitebg.gif

Bart: But you gotta support the team, Dad! They're already threatening to move to Moosejaw.

Marge: That's right! Like my mother always said, you've got to stick it out, even if you picked the loser ... (sees Homer picking at his ear and looking at his finger afterward) ...to the bitter end.

[Carl Spackler]

"She said you'd fold faster than Superman on laundry day" - Bart

http://www.bordermail.com.au/news/image/316063_tn.jpg

[estibador]

Chief Wiggum: I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/4/48/200px-Ben_cousins.jpg

[Carl Spackler]

Chief Wiggum: I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/4/48/200px-Ben_cousins.jpg

Or how about: "Ice to see you" - McBain

[Inferno]

Homer: Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs.

http://www.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,,5324049,00.jpg

[estibador]

Bart to Milhouse: How can someone with glasses so thick be so stupid?

http://www.latrobe.edu.au/alumni/assets/images/AD_Agora2003.jpg

[estibador]

Kent Brockman: Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together.

http://www.footystamps.com/images/1999/Afl%20teams/Collingwood%20Magpies/b_cmvp99.jpg

[Shaymuhz]

selma: is this a sham marriage?
troy mclure: sure baby, is that a problemo?
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c185/Shaymuhz/waynecareyandwife.jpg

[Shaymuhz]

Ralph:"Then, the doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that's why it was the best summer ever."

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c185/Shaymuhz/lazyeyes2.jpg

[Shaymuhz]

Ralph: Oh boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c185/Shaymuhz/ohboysleep.jpg

[black_hart]

Homer: "That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"


http://www.theage.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1054700442412_2003/06/07/paul_medhurst.jpghttp://www.solsup.com.au/greenman/magpie.jpg

[black_hart]

"I like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals flaming."

http://home.vicnet.net.au/~brad/images/s_lloyd.jpg

[winty]

Bart: Hey Dad, heard you swearing. Mind if I join in?

http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/19/michael_braun.jpg

"Oh, twins! Which one is the evil one?

http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/19/adam_selwood.jpghttp://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/20/troy_selwood.jpg

Homer: In high school, I was voted most likely to be a mental patient, hillbilly or chimpanzee!

http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/16/fraser_gehrig.jpg

[black_hart]

"No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you."


http://www.puntroad.com/wp-content/shaw.jpg

[black_hart]

I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me."


http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200505/r47345_124112.jpg

[black_hart]

"I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, there's no
way you can prove anything!"


http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/19/adam_selwood.jpg

[black_hart]

"Cool, I broke his brain!"


http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/19/adam_selwood.jpg

[captain subtext]

http://www.bigfooty.com/bigfooty.gif (http://www.bigfooty.com/)

Grampa: "Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot."

[BK Eaglesfan]

Bart: "There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson."

http://www.foxsports.com.au/common/imagedata/0,5001,5260896,00.jpg

[BK Eaglesfan]

Mr. Burns: Nonsense! Dogs are idiots! Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over you, what would you say?
Smithers: If you did it, sir?

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2007/03/01/js02afl_malthouse_wideweb__470x296.jpg

[captain subtext]

"If it dangles, we'll punch a hole in it."

[BK Eaglesfan]

Lisa: "Relax? I can't relax! Nor can I yield, relent, or... Only two synonyms? Oh my God, I'm losing my perspicacity! Aaaaa!"

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2004/11/23/wbmalthouse_narrowweb__200x301.jpg

[BK Eaglesfan]

Bart: Can I have a beer?
Homer: All right, but not the imported.
Marge: Homer!
Homer: You've got to set limits, Marge.

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200403/r18111_44568.jpg

[BK Eaglesfan]

Grampa: We're the baddest punks in our age bracket!

http://www.theage.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1064082942771_2003/09/23/winners,0.jpg

[whippersnipper]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9d/Dale_thomas_684.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Dale_thomas_684.jpg)

Ralph: What's a battle?

[BK Eaglesfan]

(sorry for the little bit of diversification here)

Homer: "Son, when a woman says nothing's wrong, it means everything's wrong. When a woman says everything's wrong, it means everything's wrong. And when a woman says that something *isn't* funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!"

http://www.foxsports.com.au/common/imagedata/0,5001,5327762,00.jpg

[whippersnipper]

http://www.latrobe.edu.au/alumni/assets/images/AD_Agora2003.jpghttp://www.baggas.com/blog/images/West_Coast_Eagles_logo.gif

Lisa: What do they do there Dad?
Homer: What do they do? What don't they do!? (laughs) Oh, they do so many things...they never stop....oh, the things they do there! My stars.
Lisa: You don't know what they do there, do you?
Homer: Not as such, no.

[BK Eaglesfan]

Homer: "Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening."

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f315/strauchy/024408gallery.jpg

[BK Eaglesfan]

Kang: "We must move forward... not backwards, not to the side, not forwards, but always whirling, whirling, whirling towards freedom."

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200605/r86854_255976.jpg

[bus24]

http://www.theage.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1054700442412_2003/06/07/paul_medhurst.jpg

This bloke could seriously take Whitnalls place in the 'fat' jokes judging by this photo.

[BK Eaglesfan]

Homer Simpson: 'Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird" and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the colour of his skin... but what good does *that* do me?'

http://www.saintsational.com/images/site/bf_everitt.jpg

[whippersnipper]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9d/Dale_thomas_684.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Dale_thomas_684.jpg)

Homer: Lisa, if the Bible hasn't taught us anything else - and it hasn't - its that girls should stick to girls sports......

(I wont quote the rest, because I have no desire to see Dale doing hot oil wrestling)

[Juddy88]

LISA: How could you miss that HUGE boat coming right at us?
SEA CAPTAIN: Ohh two glass eyes (Taps eyes)
http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200404/r19199_47339.jpg

[whippersnipper]

http://www.baggas.com/blog/images/West_Coast_Eagles_logo.gif

Marge: That's your solution to everything: move under the sea - it's not gonna happen!

[black_hart]

Mr. Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.


http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2005/09/25/paulroos_wideweb__430x286.jpg

[black_hart]

http://www.latrobe.edu.au/alumni/assets/images/AD_Agora2003.jpghttp://www.baggas.com/blog/images/West_Coast_Eagles_logo.gif

Lisa: What do they do there Dad?
Homer: What do they do? What don't they do!? (laughs) Oh, they do so many things...they never stop....oh, the things they do there! My stars.
Lisa: You don't know what they do there, do you?
Homer: Not as such, no.


Haha! gold!

[Mitchell Madness]

As applied to Terry Wallet - "Worst Episode Ever!"

[tin can sam]

Kang: "We must move forward... not backwards, not to the side, not forwards, but always whirling, whirling, whirling towards freedom."

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200605/r86854_255976.jpg

The quote isn't that, it's "we must move forward, not backwards, upwards, not forward and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom."

[tin can sam]

Homer - "You don't know what it's like being a nobody... I just wanted to bask in your reflected glory, REFLECTED GLORY."

http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/19/rowan_jones.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f315/strauchy/024408gallery.jpg

[jnash196]

Burns: I want you to do to me what Speilberg did for Schindler
Senor Speilbergo: But senor Schindler was a good man
Burns: Poppycock. Me and Schindler are peas in a pod. We both own factories we both made bombs for the Nazis but mine worked damn it!

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200407/r26342_65212.jpg

[Zarko]

Homer - "You don't know what it's like being a nobody... I just wanted to bask in your reflected glory, REFLECTED GLORY."

http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/19/rowan_jones.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f315/strauchy/024408gallery.jpg
:thumbsu: :thumbsu:

[whippersnipper]

http://www.abc.net.au/afl/2004/galleries/aflround5/images/13_spoon.jpg

Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: its how drunk you get.

[whippersnipper]

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200410/r32638_80923.jpg

Homer: I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me! No matter how dumb my suggestions are.

[don vito of fitzroy]

If anybody knows the correct version, I'd appreciate it.

Luigi: Follow me Krusty. You don't need to sit with this scum.
Everyone in the Restaurant: Ha?!
Luigi: Compared to Krusty!
Everyone in the Restaurant: Oh!
Luigi: You see how you are scum!

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200505/r47345_124112.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f315/strauchy/024408gallery.jpg

[whippersnipper]

http://www.principals.com.au/_images/telstraDome556.jpg
Customer #1: I need one twenty-nine cent stamp
Apu: A dollar eighty five
Customer #2: Hi, I want two dollars worth of gas, please
Apu: Four-twenty
Martin: How much is your penny candy?
Apu: Surprisingly expensive

[Rory]

Skinner: Oh, Edna. We all know that these children HAVE no future. [Everyone stops and stares at Seymour.]
Skinner: Prove me wrong children. Prove me wrong

http://www.crazyjohns.com.au/media/236273/cj_richmond.jpg

[jo172]

Ralph: Me fail English, that's unpossible!

http://www.fiveaa.com.au/programs/images/sports.jpg

[jo172]

Homer: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

http://www.gambling911.com/images/goodwin.jpg

[jo172]

Homer: That guy impressed me and I am not easily impressed. Wow. A *blue car*.

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/02/18/19s_tigers_wideweb__430x306.jpg

[jo172]

Mayor Quimby: Yes there is a comet and yes it is heading for our town. (Scattered clapping) You uh, don't need to applaud that.


http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/09/23/east_west_wideweb__430x238.jpg

[Hard Ball Get]

Homer: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

http://www.gambling911.com/images/goodwin.jpg

Homer: That guy impressed me and I am not easily impressed. Wow. A *blue car*.

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/02/18/19s_tigers_wideweb__430x306.jpg

HAha brilliant :thumbsu:
I think you are now coming second behind BK's Where are we going one...

[Juddy88]

Bigger Brother Ep

Pepi : I'm Learnding


http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/02/09/roos_coach_wideweb__430x282.jpg

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200403/r18083_44503.jpg

[jnash196]

Mayor Quimby: Yes there is a comet and yes it is heading for our town. (Scattered clapping) You uh, don't need to applaud that.


http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/09/23/east_west_wideweb__430x238.jpg

LMAO Pure Gold

[showdownhero]

http://www.smh.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1023864531702_2002/06/23/24spt_carey.jpg

Young boy at talent show:
"My ding-aling, my ding-aling, I want you to play with my ding-aling"

[Frizzo]

What about that New Years eve party at Lenny's. He didn't even have a clock.

http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,1658,5146792,00.jpg

I think this one has been very underrated. One of the best so far, for sure.

[showdownhero]

http://www.theage.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1054700442408_2003/06/07/lance_whitnall,0.jpg

Uter: Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate!