Comical Simpsons Quotes as they apply to Footy and Footballers

[Rory]

The point of this thread it to put you favorite Simpson quotes to AFL teams and or players....

I will start the ball rolling


"Tis no man. It’s a remorseless eating machine" -Sea Captain

http://www.theage.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1054700442408_2003/06/07/lance_whitnall,0.jpg

[NimChief]

http://www.realfooty.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/03/07/league_narrowweb__300x404.jpg

Ittt smells funny in here - Milhouse

No it doesn’t – Homer

[sedders]

http://cache.gettyimages.com/xc/2522278.jpg?v=1&c=MS_GINS&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF19303B4255981FCC40F0B38347E5E6584E6

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES. - Homer Simpson

[sedders]

http://cache.gettyimages.com/xc/53384947.jpg?v=1&c=MS_GINS&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF193CC300C081D9F47007C0CCB90505F114A1C1953509B 50B938

Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked! - Homer

[Hawks88bestever]

Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked...

http://shop.afl.com.au/blues/graphics/shop/img_center.jpg

[sedders]

i really shouldnt do this...

Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs. - Homer:

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/05/04/wbFOOTYgardiner_narrowweb__200x270.jpg

[RustyG]

Homer Simpson: DOH
= The Fremantle Dockers Successful Finals Campaign.

[Hawks88bestever]

Homer: Alcohol - the cause of and solution to all of life's problems

http://www.sportal.com.au/photos/news/076386news.jpg

[sedders]

how about...

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. - Homer Simpson

http://i21.ebayimg.com/01/i/01/db/40/77_1_b.JPG

[Rory]

Homer: There’s three ways to do things. The right way. The wrong way and the Max Power way
Bart: Isn’t that the wrong way?
Home: Yes but faster!

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200409/r29118_72691.jpg

[Hawks88bestever]

Bruno, the Australian: This is an outrage! I'm going to take this all the way to the Prime Minister!

http://vibe.com.au/images/artist_archive/michael_long.jpg

[sedders]

can i do a family guy quote?

Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you, very homosexually.

http://foxsports.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,5001,425497,00.jpg

[SouthSwans]

Bruno, the Australian: This is an outrage! I'm going to take this all the way to the Prime Minister!

http://vibe.com.au/images/artist_archive/michael_long.jpg
HAHA THATS GOLD :D

[chapmanmagic35]

All of those are GOLD! Well done everyone!

[The Magenius]

Homer: "I am a washing machine, do what I say, hehehe"
http://www.realfooty.theage.com.au/ffximage/2004/07/30/31s_connolly,0.jpg

[Flag Man]

Kang: We must move forward... not backwards, not to the side, not forwards, but always whirling, whirling, whirling towards freedom!


http://www.geocities.com/searchingkangaroo/r59274_162725.jpg

..and every other coach in the AFL

[ThatThis]

Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done.
Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200505/r47277_123876.jpg

[ThatThis]

Zeke Re any Collingwood Draftee

Homer: That guy impressed me and I am not easily impressed. Wow. A *blue car*.

http://collingwoodfc.com.au/cp2/c2/webi/article/253232ag.jpg

[Count Zero]

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

http://www.bordermail.com.au/news/image/140454.jpg

[ThatThis]

Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible.
Lisa: Really? Where?
Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.

http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,1658,5027076,00.jpg

[ThatThis]

Homer: I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is... and it's me.

http://www.realfooty.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/06/02/g_ablett_rhs_0206_narrowweb__200x270.jpg

[ThatThis]

Homer: Did you hear that, Marge? She called me a baboon. The stupidest, smelliest ape of them all.

http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,1658,5024792,00.jpg

[LongBomb]

Homer: it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen ...

http://www.bordermail.com.au/news/image/140454.jpg

[LongBomb]

Homer “All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.”

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2004/04/06/spt_carlton040407,0.jpg

[ThatThis]

Homer: Marge I swear, I never thought that you would find out.

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/01/25/wayne_carey_gallery__550x370.jpg

[captain subtext]

Bart: I am not a 32 year old woman!

http://www.essendonfc.com.au/images/06/nab2-20.jpg

[Saint]

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
http://images.google.com.au/images?q=tbn:05c7f4efCZNl5M:members.tripod.com/daffylover/cousins.jpg (http://images.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://members.tripod.com/daffylover/cousins.jpg&imgrefurl=http://members.tripod.com/daffylover/bencousins.html&h=543&w=390&sz=27&tbnid=05c7f4efCZNl5M:&tbnh=130&tbnw=93&hl=en&start=3&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dben%2Bcousins%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26 sa%3DN)

[ThatThis]

Homer: "You are gay.. he he he he he"

http://saints.com.au/objects/includes/..%5C..%5Ccp2/c2/webi/image/011330aw.jpg

[ablettjnr]

Homer: Marge I swear, I never thought that you would find out.

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/01/25/wayne_carey_gallery__550x370.jpg

Hahaha, that is sensational!!

Best so far I reckon.

[The Lord Commander]

Grandpa: He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

http://www.ami.org.au/amimu/0507July/Andrew_Demetriou1.jpg

[ablettjnr]

Grandpa: He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

http://www.ami.org.au/amimu/0507July/Andrew_Demetriou1.jpg
Nah its: My Homer is NOT a liar. He may be a communist, a pig, a liar, but he is NOT a porn star.

[The Lord Commander]

Flanders: You are an ugly, hate filled man
Moe: Hey! I may be ugly and hate-filled but I'm not...what was that third thing you said?

http://www.abc.net.au/afl/2005/galleries/round18/images/05.jpg

[Pred]

Bart: I am not a 32 year old woman!

http://www.essendonfc.com.au/images/06/nab2-20.jpg

Call the Hair Police!!

[ablettjnr]

Flanders: You are an ugly, hate filled man
Moe: Hey! I may be ugly and hate-filled but I'm not...what was that third thing you said?

Hahaha, nice one.

[Raskolnikov]

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a230/raskdog/abey3.jpg

[SouthSwans]

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a230/raskdog/abey3.jpg
Simply brilliant

[SouthSwans]

Homer: We'd like to dedicate this next number to a very special woman. She's 100 years old, and she weighs over 200 tonnes.

(Couldn't find a pic. Barb from The Footy Show)

[SouthSwans]

Otto: How we gonna get outta here?
Homer: We'll dig our way out!
Wiggum: No, no, dig up stupid...

http://shop.afl.com.au/blues/graphics/shop/img_center.jpg

[SouthSwans]

Wiggum: You can have these fireworks i conphiscated. Some Chinese people were trying to celebrate new years in February...

http://cache.gettyimages.com/xc/52378791.jpg?v=1&c=MS_GINS&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF193CC300C081D9F4700312EA5018FF1502E8F81B18530 C2261A

[Fudd]

http://www.ami.org.au/amimu/0507July/Andrew_Demetriou1.jpg

DMV Lady: "You sir are worse than Hitler"

[Chewy]

http://www.thecouriermail.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,1658,5058127,00.jpg

Scully: we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

[Fudd]

http://www.thecouriermail.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,1658,5058127,00.jpg

Scully: we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

haha good one, altho i would have thought it might be more apt for someone like Fev.

[Chewy]

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200510/r60113_165263.jpg

(Homer) Operator! Give me the number for 911!

[The Lord Commander]

"Ah wash mahself with a rag on a stick"

http://www.convictcreations.com/football/footyimage/elliot.jpg

[MeestaNob]

http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/past/2005/karl_norman.jpg
The dream police, they live inside of my head.
The dream police, they come to me in my bed.

[mule]

http://www.realfooty.theage.com.au/ffximage/2003/07/08/caro,0.jpg
Lisa : I am the Lizard Queen!

[Rory]

Lisa: Look on the bright side, Dad. Did you know that the Chinese use the same word for "crisis" as they do for "opportunity"?

Homer: Yes! Cris-atunity.

http://afl.com.au/default.asp?pg=news&spg=display&articleid=259029

[SpInNeR]

HOMER: Thats it. You people have stood in my way long enough.
I'm going to clown college!
BART: I dont think any of us expected him to say that.
http://fremantlefc.com.au/cp2/c2/webi/article/259221aw.jpg

[stefoid]

HOMER: Thats it. You people have stood in my way long enough.
I'm going to clown college!
BART: I dont think any of us expected him to say that.
http://fremantlefc.com.au/cp2/c2/webi/article/259221aw.jpg

"gold" is a term used way too often around here, but thats pretty close...

[jmorg1]

http://www.sportal.com.au/photos/news/075298news.jpg

Homer: I'm a bad father!
Selma: You're also fat!
Homer: I'm also fat!

[Total Power]

Jmorgs obsession continues, its kinda funny :D

[Hard Ball Get]

"Ah wash mahself with a rag on a stick"

http://www.convictcreations.com/football/footyimage/elliot.jpg

Gold!!

[Hard Ball Get]

MR. Burns to Smithers:
"I think I'll donate 1 million dollars to charity today.... When pigs fly!"




http://ninjapenguin.tripod.com/gallery/ess_mark-9.jpg

[Rory]

What about that New Years eve party at Lenny's. He didn't even have a clock.

http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,1658,5146792,00.jpg

[passthebottle]

Homer “All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.”

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2004/04/06/spt_carlton040407,0.jpg
GOLD.:thumbsu: :D

[SorryIHammerChicken]

Bruno, the Australian: This is an outrage! I'm going to take this all the way to the Prime Minister!

http://vibe.com.au/images/artist_archive/michael_long.jpg
Best one so far :thumbsu: (well up to that point)

Sensational thread!

[Hard Ball Get]

MR. Burns to Smithers:
"I think I'll donate 1 million dollars to charity today.... When pigs fly!"




http://ninjapenguin.tripod.com/gallery/ess_mark-9.jpg

What happened to my Rioli pic? :mad:

[SouthSwans]

What about that New Years eve party at Lenny's. He didn't even have a clock.

http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,1658,5146792,00.jpg
Sensational thread :thumbsu: :D

[TheBrownDog]

http://www.richmondfc.com.au/portals/0/images/players/013082ax.jpg

Kane Johnson at Richmond B&F

Homer: Good practice, kids. Now its time for the easiest part of any coach's job. The cuts. Although I wasn't able to cut everyone I wanted to, I have cut a lot of you. Wendell is cut. Rudy is cut. Janey, you're gone. Steven, I like your hussle. Thats why it was so hard to cut you. Congratulations, the rest of you made the team!.... Except you, you and you.

[TheBrownDog]

What happened to my Rioli pic? :mad:

Mal Michael and his fictional charity would have been a better example to use.

[Hard Ball Get]

Mal Michael and his fictional charity would have been a better example to use.

Considering the post was made in May I think I made the right choice ;)

[Geddy Lee]

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y161/tripb19/150px-Ben_cousins.jpg

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

[Father Jack]

I have used this before, but why not revisit, with a slight alteration:


http://www.sportal.com.au/photos/news/096041news.jpg

"Children, I couldn't help monitoring your conversation. There's no mystery about Benny. Why, he -- simply disappeared. Now, let's have no more curiosity about this bizarre cover-up".

[SouthSwans]

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y161/tripb19/150px-Ben_cousins.jpg

Homer: Fame was like a drug, but what was more like a drug were the drugs.

[MeestaNob]

SEPERATED AT BIRTH!
http://www.essendonfc.com.au/images/06/nab2-20.jpghttp://capefeare.com/snake.gif

[Redlegs14]

Homer:"I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."

[medhurstISGOD]

Homer:"I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman
Who for?

[fuzzyswan]

http://www.smh.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1023864531702_2002/06/23/24spt_carey.jpg

Homer: Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.

[fuzzyswan]

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200403/r18111_44568.jpg

Homer: How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.

[fuzzyswan]

http://mywebpage.netscape.com/Qudd10/SamMitchell+.jpg

Homer: Sorry, Mr. Burns. I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious. But the answer is no!

[winty]

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/05/09/wbSPLIFEtredrea_narrowweb__200x270.jpg

Moe: Hello, Moe's Tavern
Bart: Is Amanda Huggenkiss there?
Moe: Hang on, I'll check. (out loud) I need Amanda Huggenkiss. Where's Amanda Huggenkiss? Oh, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?

[afc9798]

http://www.sportal.com.au/photos/news/075298news.jpg

Homer: I'm a bad father!
Selma: You're also fat!
Homer: I'm also fat!


Mmmmmm Donuts.....

[EagleMan87]

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200703/r133102_445203.jpg
Homer: Hey, what does this job pay?
Carl: Nuthin'.
Homer: D'oh!
Carl: Unless you're crooked.
Homer: Woo-hoo!

[BK Eaglesfan]

Homer: "I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer......."


http://www.thesoaring.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/victory-dias.jpg

[HotDog]

http://gfc.com.au/Portals/0/images/players/cats/Cameron_Ling_thumb.jpg

Milhouse: "My mom says I'm cool

[BK Eaglesfan]

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

http://www.foxsports.com.au/common/imagedata/0,5001,5241316,00.jpg

[BK Eaglesfan]

Mr. Burns: I don't like being outdoors Smithers, for one thing, there's too many fat children.

http://www.foxsports.com.au/common/imagedata/0,5001,5241316,00.jpg

[BK Eaglesfan]

Chief Wiggum: How do you like that, it's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purpose of gambling.

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2007/03/01/js02afl_goodwin_wideweb__470x292.jpg

[EagleMan87]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/ca/Newman_Age.jpg
Abe: One trick is to tell em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville.
I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time.
Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we? Oh yeah - the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..

[BK Eaglesfan]

Wife: Now Cletus, why did ya haf to park next to my parents?
Cletus: Now, Now, Hun, they're my parents too...

http://www.tourismtasmania.com.au/images/content/tasind_tt_AFL_hawlaunch.jpg

[BK Eaglesfan]

Comic Book Guy: Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

http://www.theage.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1054700442408_2003/06/07/lance_whitnall,0.jpg

[BK Eaglesfan]

Hans: Today, part four of our series of the agonizing pain in which I live every day.

http://www.minti.com/image/15703/FreoDockers.jpg/

[BK Eaglesfan]

Lunch Lady Doris: More testicles mean more iron.

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2007/02/25/danielkerr_narrowweb__300x403,0.jpg http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/11/sam_mitchell.jpg

[BK Eaglesfan]

Grandpa: Are we there yet?
Homer: No
Grandpa: Are we there yet?
Homer: No
Grandpa: Are we there yet?
Homer: No
Grandpa: ........Where are we going?

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200504/r45690_118825.jpg

[Hard Ball Get]

^ Now that I like.

[jmorg1]

http://i16.tinypic.com/2cwl8vb.jpg
35 AFL/SANFL Premierships :)

[And_ROOS]

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200702/r127725_418390.jpg
"I discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch." (Homer)

http://www.fullpointsfooty.net/images/DHawkinspeople.jpg
"English -- Who needs that? I'm never going to England!" (Homer)

[AndyD]

After news broke of cousins suspension, but before he went into rehab

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/12/28/2005_cousins_gallery__309x400.jpg

"Well, now that I'm forcibly retired, I feel I should give back to society and do some charitable work, but... first, I want to take a lot of opium"

[NitWit]

http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/11/shane_crawford.jpg

Homer: There, there, run along little girl.
Ralph: But im a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit.

[Deledio2Tambling]

http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/10/cameron_ling.jpg

Yarrrrrrrrrrrr...................I'm unattractive - Sea Man

[betterthanu]

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200606/r90956_271131.jpg

Abe: That doll is EVIL, I tells ya. Evil! Eeeeeeviillll!!!
Marge: Grandpa, you said that about all the presents.
Abe: I just want attention.

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200509/r57457_157172.jpg

Homer: I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders (crows) was dead.

[WCEforeverman]

POLICE OFFICER: Are you senile or just stalling for time?

GRANDPA: A little from column a and a little from column b.

http://www.deckchairtheatre.com.au/oldsite/images/thumbs/connolly.jpg

[Quinzate1]

Grandpa: Are we there yet?
Homer: No
Grandpa: Are we there yet?
Homer: No
Grandpa: Are we there yet?
Homer: No
Grandpa: ........Where are we going?

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200504/r45690_118825.jpg
Solid gold BK.

[Hard Ball Get]

Solid gold BK.

Yep best done on here by a mile :D

[BK Eaglesfan]

Lenny: Late night swimming and alcohol: it's a winning combination!

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/4/48/200px-Ben_cousins.jpg

[BK Eaglesfan]

Ralph: When I grow up I'm going to Bovine University.

http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/4/lance_whitnall.jpg

[BK Eaglesfan]

Homer: I want the answers now.............................or eventually!

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200504/r44090_113699.jpg

[BK Eaglesfan]

Homer: Uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay. Um Can you repeat the part of the stuff where you said all about uuhhh, things. Uhh... the things.

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200606/r89345_265292.jpg

[EagleMan87]

Ralph: When I grow up I'm going to Bovine University.

http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/4/lance_whitnall.jpg

Hahaha, gold!

[BK Eaglesfan]

Homer: You couldn't fool your own mother on the foolingest day of your life with an electrified fooling machine!

http://www.footywire.com/afl/img/player/19/daniel_chick.jpg