View Full Version : Chopper and those ********ing horoscopes
materamagic
3 Apr 2006, 01:00
Gold!
That segement would have told you more about horoscopes than any magazine from the last 100 years.
Oh Furious One
3 Apr 2006, 01:28
Half man, half animal? F*CKING BANG!
materamagic
3 Apr 2006, 02:46
Tune in next week when Chopper teams up with Ozzy Osbourne for a morning news bulletin............
CR:
"Good morning to where ever the **** you may be viewers, this is Chopper here, erm, got the bloody gig, erm luckily that Koschie got the ****** flick, cant stand that bastard. Now let me introduce my co-host, his name is Ozzy ******* Osbourne, the prince of ******* darkness, erm, he is going to be reading the bulletin cause I can't bloody read, you see"
OO:
Let me tell you I don't know where the **** I am and what the **** I'm doin, y'know. Me missus tells me to go to Australia, join up with Chopper and rake in the cash, y'know, all of the sudden, I'm kidnapped and taken into a van and next thing I ******* know I don't ave a b-b-b-b-bloody clue why I'm, erm, ah
CR:
**** aye, well what do you know, your in Australia now thats the bloody hell where you are, mate, erm, well Now where shall we start, ah this autocue is giving me the ******* ********s, erm (pulls out a gun and shoots it) thats better, yeah. Breaking news in yeah, a ******* suspicious terrorist who has no ******* clue where he is and what he is ******* doing was caught red ***** handed, erm, at the Carlton United Brewery mixing crack cocaine into the brew, I'd be buggered, aye, so not only will it get you ******* ********ed, you'll be as high as a ******* kite, too, erm
OO:
Where do I read?
ManWithNoName
3 Apr 2006, 12:01
Half man, half animal? F*CKING BANG!
You'd better stay the f*ck out of Choppers way, or else f*ckin BANG. Oh f*ck I'm a f*uckin freak, do I go to the hospital or the f*uckin vet!?
Cassius_Clay
3 Apr 2006, 12:58
When is this on?
Bulldog1954
3 Apr 2006, 19:02
I have never seen the show but saw that segment when flicking through channels. Very funny
Probably the best chopper skit yet, a piece of brlliance!
Gemini, ********ing twins, imagine 2 ********ing chopper Reads, ********ing up Neville ********ing bartos, Bang ********ing Bang.
Crosby87
4 Apr 2006, 00:51
While I find the show generally unfunny, I must admit, I have always liked the Chopper skits. And the horoscope one was pretty damn funny. If only they put it on first so I don't have to watch the rest of the show.
one of the better episodes full stop for Ronny Johns Hlaf hour.
gone away from plain skits to running jokes
just don't drink three litres of saliva from a AIDS sufferer:eek:
RoosterLad
4 Apr 2006, 15:50
Hahah chopper is a ********ing crack up
That saliva joke made me a cringe a bit too!
ManWithNoName
4 Apr 2006, 19:40
one of the better episodes full stop for Ronny Johns Hlaf hour.
gone away from plain skits to running jokes
just don't drink three litres of saliva from a AIDS sufferer:eek:
The Americans and vowels! "Hi Gaaarys"
Gary: What's the opposite of bad?
American: America!
RoosterLad
5 Apr 2006, 20:21
yes the Garrys rippin off the Yanks was great too, forgot about that
i also just remembered they changed the start/inter bits around when Ronny is on his pony, that "its potatoes not pastas" dude did it instead, hes a champ
hi im ronny jonny
NICK THE PIE MAN
5 Apr 2006, 20:43
Loved Chopper's weatherman sketch.
"And now the weather for Alice Springs...I'll tell you what Alice Springs, I'll give you a forecast for the next 1000 ********ing years: it's gonna be ********ing hot! And if it's not sunny and hot, it's gonna be wet and ********ing hot!"
ManWithNoName
5 Apr 2006, 22:30
Loved Chopper's weatherman sketch.
"And now the weather for Alice Springs...I'll tell you what Alice Springs, I'll give you a forecast for the next 1000 ********ing years: it's gonna be ********ing hot! And if it's not sunny and hot, it's gonna be wet and ********ing hot!"
"Onto Sydney now, right, and these ********ing ********ers with their bridge, the weather'll be fine, in fact while we're on it, how come they get a ********ing bridge? I'll tell you what, I'll take this bridge and put it between ********ing Tassie where Chopper lives, and Melbourne where Chopper works! Sneak on up and pay ********ing Neville Bartoss a visit.
And in Melbourne there's gonna be a hail right, a hail of ********ing bullets at Neville Bartoss' house"
Cassius_Clay
7 Apr 2006, 08:33
"Onto Sydney now, right, and these ********ing ********ers with their bridge, the weather'll be fine, in fact while we're on it, how come they get a ********ing bridge? I'll tell you what, I'll take this bridge and put it between ********ing Tassie where Chopper lives, and Melbourne where Chopper works! Sneak on up and pay ********ing Neville Bartoss a visit.
And in Melbourne there's gonna be a hail right, a hail of ********ing bullets at Neville Bartoss' house"
LOL. I actually watched that. Funny sh1t,