Welcome to the Den

[Grimreepah]

wooohoooo first post ever:D

[John]

Yeehaa 2nd post. A Saki for the other bloke please.

[Grimreepah]

Is footy talk allowed:confused:

[irel]

What do we talk about?

[Grimreepah]

What do we talk about?

Stuff.

um .... yeah ... irel, how's the weather down there?

[irel]

I am in Western Victoria 50 kms from Adcock's abode, 50kms from Notting's old town, 100 km from Selwood's town etc... It's windy and 30C.
In need of some rain. The water tanks are almost empty and don't know how we'll get through summer if we don't get some solid rain.

I miss footy already!

[Warwick]

Sooooo....

Um, do you guys like footy?

[irel]

Sooooo....

Um, do you guys like footy?
Are you talking about the real Football - the world game, the perverted Aussie Rules kind or the bum sniffing kind they call rugby?

[Warwick]

The aerial pingpong.

[irel]

The aerial pingpong.
Sorry, can't talk about it here. Rules, gotta respect them!;)

[Grimreepah]

The aerial pingpong.

MODS

Your post has been reported. LL said a temporary suspension was in order, which I think is 6 months.

[Warwick]

LL can we please have another sub-board that discusses aerial pingpong?

[Lady Lawrence]

oh dear I hope this idea wasn't a mistake!!

[Grimreepah]

oh dear I hope this idea wasn't a mistake!!

We might need a blokey blokey forum and a girly girly forum.

[Lady Lawrence]

nah sniff I just think it will be a loony asylum after all ya can't be too girly if y'are into footy like, scratch scratch if ya nah wot ah mean!

[Grimreepah]

nah sniff I just think it will be a loony asylum after all ya can't be too girly if y'are into footy like, scratch scratch if ya nah wot ah mean!

A woman should be in touch with her masculine side:)

[Ashli]

A woman should be in touch with her masculine side:)

uh, how masculine do you like your women Grim?

[Grimreepah]

uh, how masculine do you like your women Grim?

Hmmmm. Yes. You make a good point there, Ashli.

Does willingness to fetch me a beer while I watch the footy count as being in touch with one's masculine side?

[Lady Lawrence]

do not click on this link!! (http://http://www.mccullagh.org/db9/1ds-3/drag-queen-folsom-street-2.jpg)

Grim will kill me for posting this as I found out who one of the two was that put him to sleep the other night!!

[Warwick]

A woman should be in touch with her masculine side:)
:eek: Whatever floats your boat grim.

http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/5738/beadedladycu4.png (http://imageshack.us)

[Grimreepah]

:eek: Whatever floats your boat grim.

http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/5738/beadedladycu4.png (http://imageshack.us)

Whoever said beer goggles is a good thing is kidding themselves:thumbsd:

[Warwick]

Whoever said beer goggles is a good thing is kidding themselves:thumbsd:
Bad experience?

[Grimreepah]

Bad experience?

You'd think I would learn:rolleyes:

[Lady Lawrence]

Beer goggles explained at last


'Beer goggles', as if you didn't know, explain why the hideously ugly person you just woke up with looked far more attractive the previous night after you drank excessive amounts of alcohol.

Now researchers at Manchester University – who may or may not wear goggles all of their own – have worked out that alcohol isn't the only thing that comes into play when you're deciding how attractive someone is after a few drinks. Additional factors are, apparently:

How smoky the room is
How well lit the person is
Your Snellen visual acuity (that's how good your eyesight is)
How far away the person is
How attractive they areActually, we made the last one up, but they must be right because they came up with scales and a clever-looking formula. It took over 1,000 speed-daters and an unknown quantity of alcohol.

Unfortunately the research doesn't cover what happens when beer goggles are worn backwards: you might feel embarrassed vomiting on someone's doorstep after a heavy night, but do you actually look more attractive than normal to passers-by? We should be told.

[Grimreepah]

do not click on this link!! (http://http://www.mccullagh.org/db9/1ds-3/drag-queen-folsom-street-2.jpg)

Grim will kill me for posting this as I found out who one of the two was that put him to sleep the other night!!

The other one was called irel. What a coincidence.:eek: He's not the type for late night gallavanting is he?

[John]

Beer goggles explained at last


'Beer goggles', as if you didn't know, explain why the hideously ugly person you just woke up with looked far more attractive the previous night after you drank excessive amounts of alcohol.

Now researchers at Manchester University – who may or may not wear goggles all of their own – have worked out that alcohol isn't the only thing that comes into play when you're deciding how attractive someone is after a few drinks. Additional factors are, apparently:
How smoky the room is
How well lit the person is
Your Snellen visual acuity (that's how good your eyesight is)
How far away the person is
How attractive they areActually, we made the last one up, but they must be right because they came up with scales and a clever-looking formula. It took over 1,000 speed-daters and an unknown quantity of alcohol.

Unfortunately the research doesn't cover what happens when beer goggles are worn backwards: you might feel embarrassed vomiting on someone's doorstep after a heavy night, but do you actually look more attractive than normal to passers-by? We should be told.

This belongs in the Meaning Of Life thread:).

[Lady Lawrence]

along with the Bacchus Beer Scooter - I love this one!!!

How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night of drinking and thought 'How did I get home?' As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the bar to your home.

The answer to this puzzle is that you used a beer scooter.

The beer scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased out to the drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has branched out since the decrease in the worship of the Roman pantheon and bought a large batch of these magical devices.

The beer scooter works in the following fashion:

The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the slurring gland begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors detects the pheromone and sends down a winged beer scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a trans-dimensional portal.

It is not cheap to run a beer scooter franchise, so a large portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This generates the second question after a night out 'How did I spend so much money?'.
Beer scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible for 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injuries).

An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the destruction of time segments during the trip. The nature of trans-dimensional portals dictates that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for. This generates the third question after a night out 'What happened?'

With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the EMIT (Embarrassing Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes, in descending order, those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's EMIT is not necessarily the EMIT of another and quite often lost time is regained over a suitable period.

Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles cause the scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong bedroom often with horrific consequences.

With recent models including a GPS, Bacchus made an investment in a scooter drive-thru chain specialising in half eaten kebabs and pizza crusts.
Another question answered!!

For the family man, beer scooters come equipped with flowers picked from other people's garden and Thump-A- Lot Boots. These boots are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into every wall and the CTSGS (Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the ringbarked shins.

The final add-in Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is TAS (Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can apparently get through 260 Marlboro Lights in a single night.

[crispy creme]

I am in Western Victoria 50 kms from Adcock's abode, 50kms from Notting's old town, 100 km from Selwood's town

Irel, after all your good posts and thoughts, please don't shatter the illusion. Please tell me that you are not an inmate at the Ararat Psych Jail!:D

[crispy creme]

Beer goggles explained at last


'Beer goggles', as if you didn't know, explain why the hideously ugly person you just woke up with looked far more attractive the previous night after you drank excessive amounts of alcohol.

Now researchers at Manchester University – who may or may not wear goggles all of their own – have worked out that alcohol isn't the only thing that comes into play when you're deciding how attractive someone is after a few drinks. Additional factors are, apparently:

How smoky the room is
How well lit the person is
Your Snellen visual acuity (that's how good your eyesight is)
How far away the person is
How attractive they areActually, we made the last one up, but they must be right because they came up with scales and a clever-looking formula. It took over 1,000 speed-daters and an unknown quantity of alcohol.

Unfortunately the research doesn't cover what happens when beer goggles are worn backwards: you might feel embarrassed vomiting on someone's doorstep after a heavy night, but do you actually look more attractive than normal to passers-by? We should be told.


LL, having spent a couple of Australian winters in the Manchester area, I have no doubt that the researchers would have had plenty of willing participants/exhibits for their studies, although I may be being a bit harsh on the native Mancunians. Although I make no apologies at all if the study was conducted at the University of Salford and its surrounds. A number of hideously ugly people can be found in that part of the world, especially at Old Trafford. :eek:

[irel]

Irel, after all your good posts and thoughts, please don't shatter the illusion. Please tell me that you are not an inmate at the Ararat Psych Jail!:D

Never had the pleasure of her Majesty's comfort station. Although I hear a good holiday can be had in them thar blue stone buildings.:D

[captain_obscure]

While we are commenting on all things beer and scientific theories i particularly like this one:

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.


In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. !

That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers".

[John]

LL, having spent a couple of Australian winters in the Manchester area, I have no doubt that the researchers would have had plenty of willing participants/exhibits for their studies, although I may be being a bit harsh on the native Mancunians. Although I make no apologies at all if the study was conducted at the University of Salford and its surrounds. A number of hideously ugly people can be found in that part of the world, especially at Old Trafford. :eek:
Rubbish crispy. Old Trafford is a shrine to the beautiful people and Salford is the Haight & Ashbury of Manchester.:p

http://www.kitbag.com/product_images/large/13652.jpg