Ford Fairlane
3 May 2007, 09:12
I found this old article in The Bladder (http://www.thebladder.com.au/content/contribution/default.asp?ContributionType=1&fullreport=3134) which should have alerted us to the usefulness of Gillon McLachlan years ago (it even mentions Eddie).
AFL scraps Grand Final circus
By dave****zkin
Friday, 10 September 2004
In a shock decision, the AFL today announced that it would be scrapping all forms of grand final entertainment for the forseeable future.
And concurrently, the league announced they would be cutting costs by completely removing one of their bigger departments.
The decision was announced the General Manager of Useless Shit That's Not Football, Gillon McLachlan, in a joint press conference with the AFL's CEO, Andrew Demetriou.
"We were trying to choose a headline act, between those two guys from Australian Idol, half of the Little River Band, and Kylie's little sister, when it became obvious that we were wasting our time. I took the decision to Andrew, and we both realised that in fact my department was completely useless all year round, not just on Grand Final Day."
Demetriou concurred: "For some time now it's been obvious that the circus surrounding the Grand Final doesn't actually add to the game at all. While talking to Gillon, we realised that no-one's really bought into the whole theme round concept - I mean, who really wants to celebrate women's role in football?"
McLachlan said that it had then become obvious at that point that in fact his department was useless. "All I could think of while listening to Shannon Noll was how much I hate my job, so it was obvious that something had to give. I'm glad I can add something to the game by taking something away."
Demetriou refused to rule out further department closures, and as always, he had the last word. "We just want to concentrate on playing football."
In an unrelated story, Eddie McGuire yesterday quit his presidency of Collingwood, explaining his decision because "I just realised that I may have had a conflict of interest".
AFL scraps Grand Final circus
By dave****zkin
Friday, 10 September 2004
In a shock decision, the AFL today announced that it would be scrapping all forms of grand final entertainment for the forseeable future.
And concurrently, the league announced they would be cutting costs by completely removing one of their bigger departments.
The decision was announced the General Manager of Useless Shit That's Not Football, Gillon McLachlan, in a joint press conference with the AFL's CEO, Andrew Demetriou.
"We were trying to choose a headline act, between those two guys from Australian Idol, half of the Little River Band, and Kylie's little sister, when it became obvious that we were wasting our time. I took the decision to Andrew, and we both realised that in fact my department was completely useless all year round, not just on Grand Final Day."
Demetriou concurred: "For some time now it's been obvious that the circus surrounding the Grand Final doesn't actually add to the game at all. While talking to Gillon, we realised that no-one's really bought into the whole theme round concept - I mean, who really wants to celebrate women's role in football?"
McLachlan said that it had then become obvious at that point that in fact his department was useless. "All I could think of while listening to Shannon Noll was how much I hate my job, so it was obvious that something had to give. I'm glad I can add something to the game by taking something away."
Demetriou refused to rule out further department closures, and as always, he had the last word. "We just want to concentrate on playing football."
In an unrelated story, Eddie McGuire yesterday quit his presidency of Collingwood, explaining his decision because "I just realised that I may have had a conflict of interest".