The things each club would want under their christmas tree

[carnthedons07premiers]

Now we all know that there are alot of clubs that are struggling this christmas and i was wondering what i should by them as a present. Should I give the Kangas the money to sing their pets up for membership. Or should I buy Richmond a bumper sticker saying "Tambling is shit". Or I could be nice enough to buy collingwood a dentist appointment. Or what about Freo should i ring my club and tell them to send another player over their as a present. And theres Carlton Now i think there sick of getting number 1 draft picks so how about a new president, the new model will feature a president with a brain. Hmm I could go out and buy some ice for the eski for WC and Hawthorn. Brisbane oh brisbane is a toughie, maybe a few lesson on how to brawl in a pub. sydney maybe i could give them an apointment whith queer eye and stop you looking ugly but looking stylish and fab. Port adalaide hmmm how would they like a car for themselves although that could be hard to fit under the tree. Any other gifts that i could put under teams christmas trees?

[DarwinRoo]

How about you get your own club a decent coach, a captain with some guts and a personality, some quick skillful midfielders and a fullback who can outmuscle someone over 80kgs.

[carnthedons07premiers]

How about you get your own club a decent coach, a captain with some guts and a personality, some quick skillful midfielders and a fullback who can outmuscle someone over 80kgs.

Hm so Knights hasnt coached a game and he is shit, Lloyd has over 700 goals how many goals has you leading goalkicker kicked? Have you not seen us draft over the last 2 years? Then ask us if we have any skillfull midfielders, and you dont reckon mal michael or dustin fletcher could out muscle an 80 kilogram boy pfft grow up.

[lion_gooner]

carlton could do with one of these but maybe they have had enough

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Spoony.JPG

or maybe one more of these

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Iraq-m1_abrams.jpg

[DarwinRoo]

Hm so Knights hasnt coached a game and he is shit, Lloyd has over 700 goals how many goals has you leading goalkicker kicked? Have you not seen us draft over the last 2 years? Then ask us if we have any skillfull midfielders, and you dont reckon mal michael or dustin fletcher could out muscle an 80 kilogram boy pfft grow up.

Our leading goal kicker is Wayne Carey. A captain with guts and a personality and in the top 3 players ever to pull on a pair of footy boots.
If you have skillful midfielders then how does Jobe Watson still get a game?
Mal Michael? probably. Dustin Fletcher? He might clumsily trip over him and dig his elbows and knees into him but outmuscle him, I dont think so.

[carnthedons07premiers]

Our leading goal kicker is Wayne Carey. A captain with guts and a personality and in the top 3 players ever to pull on a pair of footy boots.
If you have skillful midfielders then how does Jobe Watson still get a game?
Mal Michael? probably. Dustin Fletcher? He might clumsily trip over him and dig his elbows and knees into him but outmuscle him, I dont think so.

Playing not retired from 6-7 years ago, As i said they were drafted in the last 2 years and Jobe watson is one of the better clearence players in the league, by knows means great but still a handy player. Pfft Fletcher is one of the best full backs in the comp. Get it right.

[Ryder Is God]

If you have skillful midfielders then how does Jobe Watson still get a game?

He's one of the best clearance players in the league...

[DarwinRoo]

Playing not retired from 6-7 years ago, As i said they were drafted in the last 2 years and Jobe watson is one of the better clearence players in the league, by knows means great but still a handy player. Pfft Fletcher is one of the best full backs in the comp. Get it right.

Lloyd has kicked more goals than any current North player but he is soft, gutless and has no personality. Pinnochio is less wooden than Lloyd.
Fletcher is not a great full back. He is a great tall HBF. Sav, Carey, Jonothan Brown, Nathan Thompson and any other gorilla forward salivated when they see Fletcher coming their way.

[carnthedons07premiers]

Lloyd has kicked more goals than any current North player but he is soft, gutless and has no personality. Pinnochio is less wooden than Lloyd.
Fletcher is not a great full back. He is a great tall HBF. Sav, Carey, Jonothan Brown, Nathan Thompson and any other gorilla forward salivated when they see Fletcher coming their way.

Hmm so he has more goals then any member of your squad and he is soft, gutless and has no personality what does that say about your players. Really ask them what they think of him fletcher is one of the modern great defenders.

[PoidaCat]

North would just like to be able to afford a Christmas Tree.


They burnt down their last one....

[Anthony_]

Hmm for the Doggies I want Jonathon Brown thanks Santa.

[carnthedons07premiers]

North would just like to be able to afford a Christmas Tree.


They burnt down their last one....

Ill send them one o wait where do i send it to arden street or carrara?

[DarwinRoo]

Hmm so he has more goals then any member of your squad and he is soft, gutless and has no personality what does that say about your players. Really ask them what they think of him fletcher is one of the modern great defenders.

Let me guess your still in high school.

Lloyd has kicked more goals than Adam Simpson yet Simpson is courageous, doesnt dive for free kicks, doesnt act like a tool when he kicks a goal and is respected as a captain.

Ok and whatever their answer is secretly you know they are thinking "Here is another 5 goal bag"

[carnthedons07premiers]

Let me guess your still in high school.

Lloyd has kicked more goals than Adam Simpson yet Simpson is courageous, doesnt dive for free kicks, doesnt act like a tool when he kicks a goal and is respected as a captain.

Ok and whatever their answer is secretly you know they are thinking "Here is another 5 goal bag"

How does he act like a tool when he kicks a goal, and lloyd is respected as a captain.

[DarwinRoo]

How does he act like a tool when he kicks a goal, and lloyd is respected as a captain.

The game against Carlton earlier in the year ring a bell?

Who respects Lloyd as a Captain? How does a soft, diving tool get respected?

[carnthedons07premiers]

The game against Carlton earlier in the year ring a bell?

Who respects Lloyd as a Captain? How does a soft, diving tool get respected?

Hmm maybe anyone who has the ability to recongize talent. What did he do against carlton that was so bad? How is the umpire paying doft free kicks diving? Why should he stop if its getting him shots on goal. When does he back away from a contest.

[geelong_crazy26]

hawthorn need the following
power forward
crumbing forward
hard tough midfielder
a good ruckman
6 new defenders

[carnthedons07premiers]

hawthorn need the following
power forward
crumbing forward
hard tough midfielder
a good ruckman
6 new defenders

And 22 ice vests:thumbsu:

[DarwinRoo]

Hmm maybe anyone who has the ability to recongize talent. What did he do against carlton that was so bad? How is the umpire paying doft free kicks diving? Why should he stop if its getting him shots on goal. When does he back away from a contest.

How about disrespecting his opponent by dancing in his face. It came back to bite him in the arse when Carlton ended up winning.

What does talent have to do with respect as a captain? The umpires wouldnt be paying soft free kicks if Lloyd didnt imitate Greg Louganis every time someone went near him. Now there is another trait that Lloyd lacks. Integrity.

When does he back away from a contest? When his opponent turns around and looks at him.

[carnthedons07premiers]

How about disrespecting his opponent by dancing in his face. It came back to bite him in the arse when Carlton ended up winning.

What does talent have to do with respect as a captain? The umpires wouldnt be paying soft free kicks if Lloyd didnt imitate Greg Louganis every time someone went near him. Now there is another trait that Lloyd lacks. Integrity.

When does he back away from a contest? When his opponent turns around and looks at him.

Hmm well if there wasnt a free they wouldnt pay it. Hmm because he was dancing around in the carlton players faces alot wasnt he.

[DarwinRoo]

Hmm well if there wasnt a free they wouldnt pay it. Hmm because he was dancing around in the carlton players faces alot wasnt he.

He did it enough to make himself look like a tool and I would have liked to have seen him get decked because of it.

Good captains dont disrespect their opponents.

[carnthedons07premiers]

He did it enough to make himself look like a tool and I would have liked to have seen him get decked because of it.

Good captains dont disrespect their opponents.

And how does he disrespect his opponents.

[DarwinRoo]

And how does he disrespect his opponents.

Are you for real? Have you just not read anything i said about the Carlton game?

[play2win]

Lloyd has kicked more goals than Adam Simpson yet Simpson is courageous, doesnt dive for free kicks, doesnt act like a tool when he kicks a goal and is respected as a captain.

you forgot that simmo also wears his pants around his waist.

lloyd and fletcher are both past their best, they were good players but not anymore. michael doesn't deserve a spot in an afl team anymore either.

[play2win]

And 22 ice vests:thumbsu:
what would we need them for? we wouldn't break into a sweat thumping your lot

[forrrestGump]

port needs new rope, as they have used all their current supplies

[CATTERS5]

Lloyd is a poof! and definitely nobody outside Essendon respects him as a captain or a player anymore. I can't remember the last time Fletcher actually beat an opponent and Mal Michael retired for a reason. He should have stayed retired!

[larson]

Lloyd is a poof! and definitely nobody outside Essendon respects him as a captain or a player anymore. I can't remember the last time Fletcher actually beat an opponent and Mal Michael retired for a reason. He should have stayed retired!

What the hell? Are u 12 years old? That was an embarrassing post mate!

[Hawkamania!]

Adelaide - A fountain of youth.
Brisbane - More members.
Carlton - A president with good morals.
Collingwood - A president who shuts the hell up.
Essendon - James Hird to miraculously nominate for the pre-season draft so they can have a decent midfielder again.
Fremantle - Off field discipline.
Geelong - More salary cap room.
Hawthorn - A sniffer dog or better security around Ivanhoe.
Kangaroos - A $30 million powerball win.
Melbourne - More members that aren't mcc affiliated.
Port Adelaide - Fans at home games.
Richmond - Something higher than 9th on the ladder.
St. Kilda - A functioning board.
Sydney - Fans that know something about footy.
West Coast - A chaperone for each player.
Western Bulldogs - Improvement from tall players.

[Barry Zuckercorn QC]

He's one of the best clearance players in the league...

I really like this description of poor Jobe. It makes him sound a bit better than what he is (i.e. shit).

Its kinda like how fat people describe themselves as "cuddly" in personal ads. It's cute!

[Anthony_]

Adelaide - A fountain of youth.
Brisbane - More members.
Carlton - A president with good morals.
Collingwood - A president who shuts the hell up.
Essendon - James Hird to miraculously nominate for the pre-season draft so they can have a decent midfielder again.
Fremantle - Off field discipline.
Geelong - More salary cap room.
Hawthorn - A sniffer dog or better security around Ivanhoe.
Kangaroos - A $30 million powerball win.
Melbourne - More members that aren't mcc affiliated.
Port Adelaide - Fans at home games.
Richmond - Something higher than 9th on the ladder.
St. Kilda - A functioning board.
Sydney - Fans that know something about footy.
West Coast - A chaperone for each player.
Western Bulldogs - Improvement from tall players.

Fair assessment really. :thumbsu:

[tigers_of_old_08]

How about you get your own club a decent coach, a captain with some guts and a personality, some quick skillful midfielders and a fullback who can outmuscle someone over 80kgs.

Beautiful. Spot on. :thumbsu:

[Ben the Gooner]

Beautiful. Spot on. :thumbsu:

M Michael d B Hall
M Michael d J Brown

[LongBomb]

Geelong: The premiership cup.

Oh wait...

[huggy_b]

The AFL can distribute these around so the clubs can administer there own strikes

http://www.testcountry.com/images/products/1268_big.jpg

And some casual clothes for LLoyd to wear to after game functions

http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/12523.jpg

And forget sending an ex QC or lawyer to find out whats wrong with the Eagles, send in this unit.

http://www.talkingnfl.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/dr_phil.jpg

[FatBoy's Wombats]

Let me guess your still in high school.

Lloyd has kicked more goals than Adam Simpson yet Simpson is courageous, doesnt dive for free kicks, doesnt act like a tool when he kicks a goal and is respected as a captain.

Ok and whatever their answer is secretly you know they are thinking "Here is another 5 goal bag"

Agree Lloyd = A grade tosser, simpson gutsy and respected.

[carnthedons07premiers]

Lloyd = more succes then most of your captains.

[carnthedons07premiers]

port needs new rope, as they have used all their current supplies

Hmm how about CPR lessons.

[CATTERS5]

I can't see anything embarrassing about it. I think it's spot on.

[DarwinRoo]

Lloyd = more succes then most of your captains.

More success than who?

David Dench: 2 time premiership player, one of the all time great fullbacks.
Keith Greig: 1 time premiership player and 2 brownlow medals. AFL team of the Century.
Carey, 2 time premiership player, 8 time AA, 4 times Captain of the AA team. In the top 3 players to have pulled on football jumper.
Anthony Stevens: Another two time premiership player. 1 AA.
Wayne Schimmelbusch: 306 games. 2 Premierships.

And there are many more such as Les Foote and Laurie Dwyer.

[carnthedons07premiers]

More success than who?

David Dench: 2 time premiership player, one of the all time great fullbacks.
Keith Greig: 1 time premiership player and 2 brownlow medals. AFL team of the Century.
Carey, 2 time premiership player, 8 time AA, 4 times Captain of the AA team. In the top 3 players to have pulled on football jumper.
Anthony Stevens: Another two time premiership player. 1 AA.
Wayne Schimmelbusch: 306 games. 2 Premierships.

And there are many more such as Les Foote and Laurie Dwyer.

You are a ********, i meant all the teams current captains not your captains from yonks ago.

[Big Ronnie]

Fair assessment really. :thumbsu:


Yeah you were so hard on the doggies!!

How about for the doggies a spine?? Is that a better way of putting it?:D

[DarwinRoo]

You are a ********, i meant all the teams current captains not your captains from yonks ago.

Well thats not what you said.

This is what you said

Lloyd = more succes then most of your captains.

Now since you were replying to my post then it sounds like you were comparing Lloyd to North Melbourne's captains.

Lloyd is a shit captain. Id even go so far as to say id rather have Richie Vandenburg as my teams captain.

If Essendon had half a brain they would make David Hille captain.

[carnthedons07premiers]

Agree Lloyd = A grade tosser, simpson gutsy and respected.

Well thats not what you said.

This is what you said

Lloyd = more succes then most of your captains.

Now since you were replying to my post then it sounds like you were comparing Lloyd to North Melbourne's captains.

Lloyd is a shit captain. Id even go so far as to say id rather have Richie Vandenburg as my teams captain.

If Essendon had half a brain they would make David Hille captain.


Thats the post i was responding to.

[Bombers 2003]

Adelaide - A fountain of youth.
Brisbane - More members.
Carlton - A president with good morals.
Collingwood - A president who shuts the hell up.
Essendon - James Hird to miraculously nominate for the pre-season draft so they can have a decent midfielder again.
Fremantle - Off field discipline.
Geelong - More salary cap room.
Hawthorn - A sniffer dog or better security around Ivanhoe.
Kangaroos - A $30 million powerball win.
Melbourne - More members that aren't mcc affiliated.
Port Adelaide - Fans at home games.
Richmond - Something higher than 9th on the ladder.
St. Kilda - A functioning board.
Sydney - Fans that know something about footy.
West Coast - A chaperone for each player.
Western Bulldogs - Improvement from tall players.

Adelaide-Gary Ayres returned as coach and roo as captain
Brisbane-A new ground
Carlton-Matthew Kreuzer and judd to perform well
Collingwood-A whole new club
Essendon-Sheeds as president
Fremantle-A finals appearance
Geelong-Nathan Ablett to play in 2008
Hawthorn- A return to the days at Waverly
Melbourne-A snow plough
North Melbourne- A roll of tape for james brayshaws mouth
Port Adelaide-A tank to steam roll the cows
St.Kilda- A goal kicking coach for the g-train
Sydney-A new attitude
Bulldogs-like fremantle finals experience
WCE-A drug rehab clinic

[oogac]

Geelong already has them, but as the Saints and Tigers are moving to the outer suburbs, they will need them.

http://www.nznature.co.nz/images/moccasins.jpg

http://www.argos.co.uk/wcsstore/argos/images/7408234A65UC226506M.jpg