View Full Version : Arrested Development Quotes
CaptainDavey
17 Jan 2008, 14:34
Easily the greatest show known to man, here is a comprehensive list of the great quotes of a show that kept us happy for 3 comedy gold seasons!:thumbsu:
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Arrested_Development
George Michael: There are certain things that I can talk to you about that I can't really with my dad...like, uh, were you ever awkward around girls?
Gob: What do you mean?... Like if there were three of us and I didn't know where to start? No, I think I did pretty well. I didn't get any complaints, at least not from the girl. And he had to drive her home, so I think I did pretty good, pretty good.
CaptainDavey
17 Jan 2008, 16:02
One of my all time favourites...
Narrator: Gob was recently hired by the Bluth Company's rival, Sitwell Enterprises. And although he started off well...
Gob: 52% of the country is single. That's a market that's been dominated by apartment rentals. Let's take some of that market. I call it "Single City."
Narrator: ...his ideas failed to evolve.
Gob: It's, like, "Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool?" "Yeah, I don't have a husband." I call it "Swing City."
Stan Sitwell: Let's get into some new areas, if you don't mind.
Narrator: But Gob continued to fine-tune his first one.
Gob: How do we filter out the teases? We don't let them in.
Gob: This goes for the guys, too. Because sometimes the guys are tapped out. But check your lease, man. Because you're living in *bleep* City.
Stan Sitwell: You're fired.
the ooze
18 Jan 2008, 00:26
haha
i wished the show kept on going
This thread needed to be created. Far too many quotes to choose, but here are a couple that I love.
George Michael Bluth: I just can't take it off. You'll never understand.
Tobias F*nke: ...I'll never understand? That you can never be nude?
[he disrobes, exposing his cut-off jeans]
Tobias F*nke: I'll understand more than you'll... never know.
-------------------
Lindsay: Is that a shot at me?
G.O.B.: Probably.
Lindsay: Because, for your information, I have a job.
Michael: Really? What kind of job?
Lindsay: Beads!
G.O.B.: Bees?!
Lindsay: Beads.
G.O.B.: Beads?!
Michael: G.O.B.’s not on board.
(Sounds better than it reads, go here (http://the-op.com/episode/122) and scroll down for it).
Gob and Tobias are possibly my favourite two characters of any show I've seen (at least that I can remember).
CaptainDavey
20 Jan 2008, 22:01
Tobias has some of the best comedic timing ever. Ever.
My two favourite episodes will forever be the one with the hot cops and the weed and teaching lessons and secondly, the one with George's funeral and Buster doesn't know it's a funeral, he thinks it's a birthday.
'I've made a huge mistake'
Ahaha, the hot cops. Pretty much gob's only friends.
I was stoked when i got my hands on all three seasons from china for something like $20 aussie, considering the box set down here is upwards of 70
CaptainDavey
20 Jan 2008, 23:56
Yeah I got all the boxes for Xmas...Ah that was a good present. I get the feeling though season 1 is the best. Season 3 and it kinda loses its way...It's still very good but the whole 'FOR BRITISH EYES ONLY!' thing got old quick. Such a priceless show though. I'm kinda cut that they didn't make more but they finished on a high which is good.
Also, this further proves my point that Australians are knobs (Massive generalisation) It is a quality show and they only showed it at some god awful hour in the night. Same with the Sopranos. Ridiculous.
Did you see Michael/Jason Bateman and George Michael/Michael Cera are in that new Juno movie together? George Michael is so type cast now...Especially in Superbad, that really over anxious teenager, same in Juno
the ooze
21 Jan 2008, 00:23
great buy marns
yeah 3rd season got a bit crazy. My fav would have to be the Mrs. Featherbottom episodes.
more funny moments:
Gob & his son hired strippers, trying to compete with Michael & his son's banana stand:
Gob: Attention, everyone. Why go to a banana stand, when we can make your banana stand?
Tobias quotes:
who would like a banger in the mouth?
Oh, no, no. I’m not in the group yet. No, I’m afraid I just blue myself
Well, yes, but I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so now I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
Oh. Can you imagine how jealous that would make her? “Where’s Tobias?” “Oh, he’s just sharing a romantic horseback ride with Michael Bluth, and they’re dipping each other in...” Oh, you didn’t get any body chocolate?
Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren’t you? I tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks any time.
Narrator: Tobias listens to a day's worth of his own words, to see what Michael was referring to...
Tobias F*nke: [on tape] ... even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.
Tobias F*nke: Nothing wrong with that.
Tobias F*nke: [on tape] Oh, I've been in the film business for a while, but I just can't seem to get one in the can.
Tobias F*nke: It's out of context.
Tobias F*nke: [on tape] I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks, so to speak.
Yeah I got all the boxes for Xmas...Ah that was a good present. I get the feeling though season 1 is the best. Season 3 and it kinda loses its way...It's still very good but the whole 'FOR BRITISH EYES ONLY!' thing got old quick. Such a priceless show though. I'm kinda cut that they didn't make more but they finished on a high which is good.
I agree that season 1 is the best. I'm slowly going through them all again, and I'm not really looking forward to the MRF episodes. They were good when you didn't know what was coming, but I just don't think they're as funny.
Did you see Michael/Jason Bateman and George Michael/Michael Cera are in that new Juno movie together? George Michael is so type cast now...Especially in Superbad, that really over anxious teenager, same in Juno
Poor bastard, it's because he does it so well. It's kinda like Jason Alexander. Every time I see him in a movie I expect to see George Costanza because he sold it so well. Anything less is disappointing.
great buy marns
yeah 3rd season got a bit crazy. My fav would have to be the Mrs. Featherbottom episodes.
Those were great. Best scene was him trying to fly off the staircase and landing on the coffee table. Absolute gold.
Another top Tobias quote:
"And second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot. Your wife is dead!"
The Filth Wizard
21 Jan 2008, 08:45
Arrested Development is the finest show to ever come from the US of A... kind of on the same par I regard the UK version of The Office.
Word is though the Bluth family isn't dead yet... the cast and crew are up for the prospect of a movie (I have a feeling they are gauging the success of the Sex And The City movie- if thats huge the greenlight will be rapid), and also David Cross is rumoured to be reprising the role of Dr Tobias Funke for the last season of Scrubs.
On that topic, Scrubs is shite... we're having a debate on that issue in our version of hell, the Roo Lounge.
The Filth Wizard
21 Jan 2008, 08:48
Those were great. Best scene was him trying to fly off the staircase and landing on the coffee table. Absolute gold.
Best. Scene. Ever.
"We shan't be telling your mother about this, shan't we?":D
Warwick
21 Jan 2008, 11:36
Those were great. Best scene was him trying to fly off the staircase and landing on the coffee table. Absolute gold.
Classic stuff. :D
There are so many great quotes and scenes. You can see why the part of Tobais was beefed up after it was only meant to be a small role - David Cross steals every scene he is in: Mrs Featherbottom, his acting classes with Carl Weathers, his cut-offs, his embraces, his hair plugs sucking the life from him, his mis-interpreted statements, Uncle T-Bag, his leather outfit etc.
Ann was a great decision as well.
One of my favourite bits was when the family were trying to decide what cause they were going to have the benefit for. I don't have the exact quote but Lucille and Buster wanted it to go towards neck flap, Gob shrinkage ("someone saw Seinfeld last night") and Michael ovarian cancer ("oh I wonder who that was").
My favourite recurring bit was the George Michael - Star Wars video.
CaptainDavey
21 Jan 2008, 12:47
Two awesome recurring bits:
1) Every time someone is disappointed they do that soft music and they walk slowly with their heads hung low. Hahaha like when George Michael gets dumped by Ann
2) Every time there is a mention of Oscar being Busters legitimate father and it has that cheesey music. Hilarious!
the ooze
21 Jan 2008, 22:36
One of my favourite bits was when the family were trying to decide what cause they were going to have the benefit for. I don't have the exact quote but Lucille and Buster wanted it to go towards neck flap, Gob shrinkage ("someone saw Seinfeld last night") and Michael ovarian cancer ("oh I wonder who that was").
Michael (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000867/): We dont want to relive the TBA debacle.
Narrator (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000165/): Years earlier, the Bluth's held their first fundraiser, but the family had a hard time agreeing on a cause.
George Sr. (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001787/): [reading the slips] "Neckflap". "Ovarian Cancer". Gee, I wonder who that was? "Shrinkage". Somebody saw Seinfeld last night! Another one for "Neckflap".
Narrator (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000165/): So they sent out invitations with the disease still to be announced. To their surprise, the Bluth's wound up raising over $25,000 dollars for TBA. Then, and here's the really horrible part, they did it again the following year.
Is this what you were after mate?
The rest of the episode quotes are here (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0515237/quotes).
imdb is also a good place to find AD quotes
CaptainDavey
25 Jan 2008, 10:20
Just noticed on the cricket that Sachin Tendulkars bat has MRF written on it...I lol'd:D
dyertribe
26 Jan 2008, 05:11
Her?
CaptainDavey
26 Jan 2008, 10:32
Don't be such an Anne-hog
dyertribe
29 Jan 2008, 04:39
Lindsay: Is that a shot at me?
G.O.B.: Probably.
Lindsay: Because, for your information, I have a job.
Michael: Really? What kind of job?
Lindsay: Beads!
G.O.B.: Bees?!
Lindsay: Beads.
G.O.B.: Beads?!
Michael: G.O.B.’s not on board.
:D Yes.
Michael: She's got herself a little hard-boiled egg going there?
George Michael: Oh it's so cute, she'll sometimes take a little pack of mayonnaise and squirt it in her mouth, all of it, and then she'll take an egg and kinda-mmmm. She calls it a mayon-egg!
George Michael: Are you okay?
Michael: I don't feel so good.
Ann: This is my father, Pastor Terry Veale.
Terry: Hello!
Michael: Oh 'Pastor'... I uh, I didn't, I didn't know, you didn't tell me...
George Michael: I told you.
Michael: No you didn't.
Terry: People treat you so differently when they find out you're a man of god.
Michael: Oh... believe me, i know.
Terry: Oh, are you a churchgoing man?
Michael: I am... Sometimes. Yes. I don't go religiously. I mean, I'm not a-I'm not a nut about it. Because there is no such thing as a nut when it comes to religion, Pastor.
Terry: I've met a few.
Michael: I'm sure if you look a little bit closer you'll find some very earnest people that are just doing their best.
George Michael: What are you doin' Dad?
Michael: I don't know.
XIsDonIsGoodX
29 Jan 2008, 07:00
Not really a quote but when Tobias decides he will go back into business as an analyst/therapist and has business cards made up describing himself as an "Analrapist":D:D
I dearly hope they make a movie...
dyertribe
29 Jan 2008, 08:06
Oscar: Maybe I'll put it in her brownie
Michael: Hey!
CaptainDavey
29 Jan 2008, 10:27
...And that's why you don't teach lessons
MalceskiFan
13 Feb 2008, 18:26
...And that's why you don't teach lessons
That was probably my favourite episode.
Michael: I want the guy with the one arm and the fake blood. J. Walter Weatherman. How do I get a hold of him?
George Sr.: Well, he's, uh, dead. You killed him when you left the door open with the air conditioner on.
Has anyone heard any of David Cross's (Tobias) standup? Easily the funniest comedian on earth.:thumbsu:
Oh Tobias...you blowhard.
I was the worlds first annalist and therapist. The first analrapist.
Tobias Bluth
Analrapist
I've made a huge tiny mistake (not the funniest ruccuring bit but)
Also the video made by Job to win the election for George Michael was hilarious
And when they build the tiny town and it gets smashed.
Vonsche
19 Feb 2008, 20:40
Love this show. Barry has to be my favourite though.
Barry: I got Michael out of his marriage, didn’t I? (motions high five)
Michael: Actually she died.
Barry: You’re kidding me. I’ve been taking credit for that for years.
Michael: Credit?
Barry: I’m sorry about the patch. I’m testifying against the Kings this afternoon. You can’t see it. I just winked.
Barry: And you don’t want to go in front of that judge. I caught him in a drag club.
G.O.B: What were you doing there?
Barry: Wow... you should be the lawyer.
:D
couchy555
24 Feb 2008, 10:25
apparently a lot of the cast has been asked by ron howard to come back and do a movie, hope so, show is awesome.
George Micheal : hey uncle Gob, was aint Lindsay ever pregnant?
Gob : oh yeah, dozens of times
Tobias: you two are so related:)
To GM and Maybe
couchy555
25 Feb 2008, 11:40
Gob : if this thing works out ill buy you a hundred George Micheals you can teach to drive!!!
Micheal: your bleeding arent you?
Gob: probably my socks are wet.
Lindsay: couldnt you come over and dustbuster a little bit?
Lupe: i know dust buster any more
Lindsay: fine, ill dustbuster then!!
CaptainDavey
25 Feb 2008, 20:03
My Mum went to a wedding on Saturday and the husbands name was Steven Holt. I laughed when I read the invite, Mum didn't get it though...:o
My Mum went to a wedding on Saturday and the husbands name was Steven Holt. I laughed when I read the invite, Mum didn't get it though...:o
Steve Holt!
I don't remember that happening in the show;)
Which character was you're mum:p
couchy555
26 Feb 2008, 14:43
Does anyone else here ever get Franklins song stuck in their head?
Gob: it aint easy being white,
Franklin : it aint easy being brown
Gob: all this pressure to be bright
Franklin: i got children all over town
Gob: sometimes.. hey, where'd the guy go?
also i love it when Buster has Franklin and his mother is talking to him
Lucille: they wont allow that in the country club
Franklin: I AINT GOING TO YOUR CRACKER ASS COUNTRY CLUB, YA FREAK B%*CH!!
After being in the dryer
Frankiln posh: You've ruined the act Job
couchy555
26 Feb 2008, 15:21
also i love it that, even when Gob is using a tape recorder for Franklin, his lips are still moving lmao.
And that episode where he keeps throwing things into the ocean
Gob: return, from whence you came!!
couchy555
26 Feb 2008, 21:37
buster: mmmmmmmmm, its so watery, and yet theres a smack of ham to it
Lindsay: its hot ham water
Lucille: Buster, stop playing with mothers rape horn!!
Buster: oh yeah, like anyone would want to R her
Lucille: see what i mean? out of control
Mayebe: does anyone know where i can get one of those necklaces with the little T on it?
Micheal: its a cross
Mayebe: across from where?
Lucille to the hot cops
do any one of you guys know how to shovel coal?
Narrator: i dont want to tell you what these guys thought that meant
KUNG FU
27 Feb 2008, 14:23
Obsessed with this show. I'm getting a Tobias tattoo later this year.
Everyone should get into David Cross' stand up as well. He's amazing. he also has an excellent taste in other comedians - Daniel Kitson is one of his faves, I'm seeing him again next week at the Adelaide Fringe.
My fave two Tobias quotes are pretty similar, but I ****ing lose it everyone time I see them.
Tobias: You know, mother Lucille, there's a psychological concept known as denial that I believe you're evincing. It's when a thought is so hateful that the mind literally rejects it.
Lucille: You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.
Tobias: Well if she's not going to say anything, I certainly can't help her.
Tobias: Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. “I’m not going to cry about my Pa. I’m going to build an airport— put my name on it.” Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? You can keep them bottled up, Michael, but they will come out, [Tobias goes to open the refrigerator] sometimes in the most unexpected...Hey, where the *BEEP* ARE MY HARD BOILED EGGS!?!?!
I also love the fall from the balcony in an effort to impress his daughter.
KUNG FU
27 Feb 2008, 14:30
Also, transplant versus host is the best episode by far - I can't remember the particular ep, but its mid season 3.
Obsessed with this show. I'm getting a Tobias tattoo later this year.
Everyone should get into David Cross' stand up as well. He's amazing. he also has an excellent taste in other comedians - Daniel Kitson is one of his faves, I'm seeing him again next week at the Adelaide Fringe.
My fave two Tobias quotes are pretty similar, but I ****ing lose it everyone time I see them.
Tobias: You know, mother Lucille, there's a psychological concept known as denial that I believe you're evincing. It's when a thought is so hateful that the mind literally rejects it.
Lucille: You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.
Tobias: Well if she's not going to say anything, I certainly can't help her.
Tobias: Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. “I’m not going to cry about my Pa. I’m going to build an airport— put my name on it.” Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? You can keep them bottled up, Michael, but they will come out, [Tobias goes to open the refrigerator] sometimes in the most unexpected...Hey, where the *BEEP* ARE MY HARD BOILED EGGS!?!?!
I also love the fall from the balcony in an effort to impress his daughter.
Then the sad George-Michael just dumped walk was the icing on the cake
The J Dog
28 Feb 2008, 19:36
From the shock and awww episode guest starring Heather Graham as George Michael's ethics teacher.
http://the-op.com/images/episode/114/michael-interested-saddam_tn.jpg (http://the-op.com/media/image2.php?i=631)
Michael (http://the-op.com/cast/Michael): Whoa, whoa. Just hang on a second. It wasn’t him. It’s me, okay? I’ve been dating your Ethics teacher.
G.O.B. (http://the-op.com/cast/G.O.B.): Wow, Michael. I’m really touched that you’d stick up for me after I’ve been so horrible to you.
Michael (http://the-op.com/cast/Michael): Hmm?
G.O.B. (http://the-op.com/cast/G.O.B.): You know what, now it’s time for me to do the right thing. I slept with the Ethics teacher. I’m sorry.
Michael (http://the-op.com/cast/Michael): What are you talking about?
G.O.B. (http://the-op.com/cast/G.O.B.): Lindsay told me that you liked her, and I’m not proud of this, but... I f***ed Mrs. Whitehead.
Narrator (http://the-op.com/cast/Narrator): In fact, G.O.B. mistook the Civics teacher for the Ethics teacher Michael was dating. http://the-op.com/images/episode/114/mrs-whitehead_tn.jpg (http://the-op.com/media/image2.php?i=627)
G.O.B. (http://the-op.com/cast/G.O.B.): Man, he... has a type.
Michael (http://the-op.com/cast/Michael): G.O.B., Mrs. Whitehead was the Civics teacher. We both had her.
G.O.B. (http://the-op.com/cast/G.O.B.): Yes, we have and now we’re even.http://the-op.com/images/episode/114/gob-had-her_tn.jpg (http://the-op.com/media/image2.php?i=626)
Gob: Illusion Michael, a trick is something a whore does for money....(sees little kids shocked)..........or cocaine:o
couchy555
1 Mar 2008, 22:28
was watchin the hawthorn adel game tonite, and everytime they talked about buddy franklin i couldnt help but think about the best ventriliquist puppet eva.
George: heeey franklin
Franklin: my man, gimme some tongue
George: what?
Michael: I don't need your forgiveness, i need the guy with the one arm and the fake blood, Jay Wolt the Weather man.
George Snr: No, he's dead, you killed him when you left the door open with the air conditioner on.
MalceskiFan
3 Mar 2008, 12:10
Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, Tobias gets a review of his Shakespeare play.
Tobias: Well I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman. So... onward and upward. [cut to Tobias crying in the shower] Why, Tracy?! Why?!
coast2coast
3 Mar 2008, 12:50
Tobias: So what are your plans for this evening?
Bob Loblaw: I thought that maybe I'd stay in and work on my law blog.
Tobias: Ah yes. The Bob Loblaw Law Blog. You sir are quite a mouthful!
:D
I also love their chicken dances!
CaptainDavey
6 Mar 2008, 09:37
Just watched the 'Solid As A Rock (Iraq)' episode, just bloody good comedy gold
Gob's Wife: I'm in love with your brother-in-law.
Gob: [disgusted] You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
Gob's Wife: No, your sister's husband.
Gob: Michael? Michael!
Gob's Wife: [exasperatedly] No, that's your sister's brother.
Gob: No, I'm my sister's brother! [satisfied] You're in love with me - me.
Gob's Wife: I'm in love with Tobias.
Gob: [puzzled] My brother-in-law?
Gob's Wife: I know it can never be, so I'm leaving. I'm enlisting in the army.
Gob: To be with your brother...
Classic. One of my first favourite moments
http://i104.photobucket.com/albums/m161/redheather_ca/steve-holt.jpg
STEVE HOLT! :D
G.O.B.: Taste the happy Michael
Michael: Kinda tastes like sad
Super Goalie
4 May 2008, 18:51
Shop assistant in Drag: Are you going to buy this time or are you just curious?
Tobias Funke: I suppose I'm bi-curious!