View Full Version : Weekend at the Pope
wagstaff
8 Jul 2002, 19:12
I generally avoid the pathetic excuse for 'news' that the TV channels put up every night for us to digest.
A good example why was the story advertised heavily before hand as if it was of major significance was John Howard's meeting with the Pope yesterday - surely the meeting of the two most advanced minds of our time. Predictably, Howard was his usual sycophantic self and all the TV reports treated the minuate detail with the greatest of significance. Heck, the Pope's 'joke' about Kangaroos was deemed significant enough to warrant it being advertised in news breaks during the day!
The Pope's physical appearance was so limited and stilted that it was straight out of 'Weekend at Bernie's'. Are we sure those people standing behind him weren't pulling a few makeshift strings to fool everybody into thinking he was still alive?
Did anyone check for a pulse?
Any truth in the rumour that Howard was disappointed with the Pope? Yeh, thought he was too left-wing for his liking. Blasted commo.
The Blues
9 Jul 2002, 21:37
On a tour of Scotland, the Pope took a couple of days off his itinerary to visit the North coast near Aberdeen on an impromptu sightseeing trip.
His 4X4 Popemobile was driving along the golden sands when there was an enormous commotion heard just off the headland.
They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope noticed just outside the surf, a hapless man wearing an English Rugby jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a twenty foot shark.
At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing Scottish rugby tops roared into view from around the point.
Spontaneously, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the shark's ribs, immobilizing it instantly.
The other two reached out and pulled the Englishman from the
water and then, using long clubs, beat the shark to death.
They bundled the bleeding, semi conscious man into the speed
boat along with the dead shark and then prepared for a hasty
retreat, when they heard frantic shouting from the shore.
It was of course the Pope, and he summoned them to the beach.
Upon them reaching the shore the Pope went into raptures about
the rescue and said, "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that there were some racist xenophobic people trying to divide Scotland and England, but, now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true.
I can see that your society is a truly enlightened example of racial harmony and could serve as a model on which other nations could follow."
He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust.
As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others, "Who was that???!"
"That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct
contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."
"Well," the harpoonist replied, "he knows f--- all about shark hunting. How's that bait holding up or do we need to get another one?"
FreoDocker
10 Jul 2002, 19:02
Originally posted by skilts
Did anyone check for a pulse?
Any truth in the rumour that Howard was disappointed with the Pope? Yeh, thought he was too left-wing for his liking. Blasted commo.
Yeh for sure mate
I can imagine it must have been like Weekend at Burnies with a few nods by the pope while listening to Johnnie talk about how Don Bradman once saved him Drugs and Rock and Roll in the 50's and 60's.:D
Santos L Helper
10 Jul 2002, 20:40
Originally posted by Frodo
Which Pope was it?
The 'Pope of Chilli Town'
Are we sure it wasn't a 'Victa'?