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View Full Version : Did you hear the one about the smart guy?


Murphinator
11 Jun 2008, 23:56
There is this man and he is the smartest bloke on earth, his IQ is immeasurable. Knows absolutely everything, can work everything out, etc. The problem is, he is so smart, he can't conduct conversations with people, because no one can understand him due to the way he constructs his sentences and the things he talks about. This pains him deeply. So deeply that he searches for someone that can decrease his IQ in order to attain a sense of normality and to fit in.

So he finds this Doctor who is searching for someone to test his new machine, which just happens to be able to decrease or increase someones intelligence.

He says "doctor, doctor, i need your help, i need you to make me less intelligent"
The doctor agrees to help the man, and he goes over all the possible consequences. The man still agrees, desperate now.

So the Doctor sits the extremely intelligent man in a chair, and applies a helmet-shaped metal cap to the man's head.

He flicks the switch to 'decrease,' and asks if the man is ready.

"Ready," he replies.

So the Doctor flicks the switch on, and the machine buckles into life.
The machine has an IQ counter, and the mans IQ is decreasing rapidly...900...700...500...200... until the Doctor decides to stop it at 150.
The machine however, does not switch off when the doctor attempts to turn it off. 100...60...50... The machine is buckling and making all sorts of bangs, until it seems to die with a final loud bang.

The doctor, aware of the complication encountered, and fearing that the man's intelligence has been greatly sapped, turns to the man, and asks "How do you feel?"

The man looks around, and at the top of his lungs he beats out "GOOD OLD COLLINGWOOD FOREVER...."

sneakydaycrawler
12 Jun 2008, 00:00
WOW! That is really funny.

reg_lower91
12 Jun 2008, 00:05
WOW! That is really funny.

not a fan?? probably cause it's based on you....

thylacine60
12 Jun 2008, 00:10
Come on. Let's just enjoy the game. It's all we have to do. All else is unnecessary. Nothing but the game.

BlueFan4
12 Jun 2008, 00:11
HAHAHAHA. Love the Collingwood jokes. :D

reg_lower91
12 Jun 2008, 00:12
Come on. Let's just enjoy the game. It's all we have to do. All else is unnecessary. Nothing but the game.

get a funny bone thy... you'll die too young if everything is taken too seriously :rolleyes:

BLue_Bloys
12 Jun 2008, 00:36
This stuff's good for pre match banter love it :thumbsu:

Although the purists on this board will probably want it moved to the blue room ;)

TheGeneral
12 Jun 2008, 00:46
HAHAHAHA. Love the Collingwood jokes. :D
Toovey is the best Collingwood joke I've seen.

thylacine60
12 Jun 2008, 00:55
get a funny bone thy... you'll die too young if everything is taken too seriously :rolleyes:

Ok I hear ya. But give me something to work with at least!

TurboHead
12 Jun 2008, 00:59
He says "doctor, doctor, i need your help, i need you to make me less intelligent"


That doesn't sound like the person described - ie someone with an IQ off the chart....

I would have thought the conversation would have started more like this...

Please physician, your assistance to my person is urgently required. I am in need of your expertise to lower ones intellect to that of a deceased Paratrechina longicornis thus allowing one the ability to commune with those that follow the navy blue.

thylacine60
12 Jun 2008, 01:20
That doesn't sound like the person described - ie someone with an IQ off the chart....

I would have thought the conversation would have started more like this...

Jesus, I thought I was a nutter. :eek:

TurboHead
12 Jun 2008, 01:28
The world takes all sorts

thylacine60
12 Jun 2008, 02:18
The world takes all sorts

Can't see myself spending much time talking to a ____ing vacuum cleaner. I'm out.

Bee
12 Jun 2008, 10:13
This stuff's good for pre match banter love it :thumbsu:

Although the purists on this board will probably want it moved to the blue room ;)


Well, call me a purist! :D

Murphinator
12 Jun 2008, 12:00
Crime rates drop 75% when Collingwood is playing.

HBF
12 Jun 2008, 14:23
Silly bugger, if he wanted to decrease his IQ, just spend an hour or so with Gilly. One of the dumbest buggers I have ever met. :cool: