View Full Version : Early Christmas Gift Suggestions
Shinboners
6 Nov 2000, 04:21
From Shinbonershop.com.au where you give us your money and your goods arrive four months late. Here is a sample of our Christmas specials:
The Peter Bell sticker. Bell may have shat on North once, but you can return the favour on a daily basis by placing this sticker in an appropriate position in your toilet. This gift has a special price of 20 pieces of silver. BONUS GIFT: Comes with a free curse where every high profile player poached by Freo succumbs to a career threatening injury....like Ben Allan, Peter Mann, and Stephen O'Reilly.
The Briswhine Doll. Pull the string and hear the doll whine with phrases like:
"Gimme a bigger salary cap!"
"Gimme a bigger exclusive recruiting zone!"
"Please don't tackle me, I bruise easily!"
"If you run onto the ground Libba, we're going to dob you in to the AFL!"
This special edition doll also comes with a new choke and self destruct function which automatically activates when facing North Melbourne in a preliminary final.
Red and Black Bandwagon. Specially built for 50,000 screaming teenage girlies. Soundproofed to EPA standards (all that squealing can break windows, you know!). Come with the complete backcatalogue of Boyzone and a video of "The Dummies Guide To the History of the Essendon Football Club, pre-1999".
Tigerland Calender. An 11 month edition that runs from October to August. Free Dan Murphy gift voucher for alcohol to help dull the pain of missing September.
For the child with a reading problem, may we suggest the book, "Geelong F.C. - The Premiership Years 1964-2000". A simple and easy book to read. As an added bonus, there is a special adhesive along the spine of the pages so they can double up as post-it notes.
For the deep thinker, "Tony Shaw's D.I.Y. Tactics". 10 sheets of butchers paper plus 12 crayons.
At Shinbonershop.com.au, we accept cash, cheques, credit card, alcohol, drugs, sex, and anything of value that can be converted to cash quickly and easily. Happy shopping.
Shinboners - Why is not okay for Peter Bell to want to go home to WA,yet its okay for Shannon [what sort a name is that for a boy] Grant to want to come back home to VICTORIA???
------------------
"The good humour man can only be pushed so far ". -Bart Simpson
Shinboners
6 Nov 2000, 05:11
JubJub
If you were a regular on this board for longer than five minutes....or if you checked the archives....you'd know that I was supportive of Bell's wishes to go home. This thread is not meant to be a serious analysis. http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif Help me here non-Cat fans...is it just me or are all Geelong fans this thick? http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif
[This message has been edited by Shinboners (edited 05 November 2000).]
What about a present for every Adam Hueskes fan - a pair of stockings or a set of handcuffs .
Maybe the Collingwood fans could get an upside down AFL ladder.Then they could think there at the top [they do anyway].
------------------
"The good humour man can only be pushed so far ". -Bart Simpson
Shinners
I knew it was tongue in cheek, but you keep forgetting that some people don't have a sense of humour. Lucky you posted here on the Roos board, where the backlash won't be as bad as if it was on the general board.
I would say you will probably get a reaction from G4E soon though.
------------------
Mantis
sabre_ac
6 Nov 2000, 12:46
Originally posted by Shinboners:
From Shinbonershop.com.au where you give us your money and your goods arrive four months late. Here is a sample of our Christmas specials:
The Peter Bell sticker. Bell may have shat on North once, but you can return the favour on a daily basis by placing this sticker in an appropriate position in your toilet. This gift has a special price of 20 pieces of silver. BONUS GIFT: Comes with a free curse where every high profile player poached by Freo succumbs to a career threatening injury....like Ben Allan, Peter Mann, and Stephen O'Reilly.
The Briswhine Doll. Pull the string and hear the doll whine with phrases like:
"Gimme a bigger salary cap!"
"Gimme a bigger exclusive recruiting zone!"
"Please don't tackle me, I bruise easily!"
"If you run onto the ground Libba, we're going to dob you in to the AFL!"
This special edition doll also comes with a new choke and self destruct function which automatically activates when facing North Melbourne in a preliminary final.
Red and Black Bandwagon. Specially built for 50,000 screaming teenage girlies. Soundproofed to EPA standards (all that squealing can break windows, you know!). Come with the complete backcatalogue of Boyzone and a video of "The Dummies Guide To the History of the Essendon Football Club, pre-1999".
Tigerland Calender. An 11 month edition that runs from October to August. Free Dan Murphy gift voucher for alcohol to help dull the pain of missing September.
For the child with a reading problem, may we suggest the book, "Geelong F.C. - The Premiership Years 1964-2000". A simple and easy book to read. As an added bonus, there is a special adhesive along the spine of the pages so they can double up as post-it notes.
For the deep thinker, "Tony Shaw's D.I.Y. Tactics". 10 sheets of butchers paper plus 12 crayons.
At Shinbonershop.com.au, we accept cash, cheques, credit card, alcohol, drugs, sex, and anything of value that can be converted to cash quickly and easily. Happy shopping.
Hmm i dont care about anything else you said just the freo comment
Man was useless and didn't succumb to injury.
Allan was a tragedy, he only excelled at the dockers (watchout adelaide supporters apparently mc Cloed has a similar injury and if so i dont give him much longer.
O'reilly played extremely well for the dockers and we traded him when we knew he was past his prime.And we were right!!!
Freo has had the least success of any club in poaching players, and shannon grant was a similar situation to the Bell one.
And im not holding it against you that your best mid field player and best player last year left, and that your anoyed.
What can I say
HA!!!
Maybe you will benifit from it in the longterm, but all i can say is I'm happy with it
If its any consolation I know what its like
Remeber Jeff White
Well done shinners! Very Clever!
Shinboners
6 Nov 2000, 15:10
Sabre
You're being a humourless twat of the first order. I refer you to my comments addressed to JubJub in this very thread.
Sandie and Danni
Thanks guys....nice to know some people are still able to laugh. http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/smile.gif
sabre_ac
6 Nov 2000, 15:37
Originally posted by Shinboners:
Sabre
You're being a humourless twat of the first order. I refer you to my comments addressed to JubJub in this very thread.
Sandie and Danni
Thanks guys....nice to know some people are still able to laugh. http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/smile.gif
Ok sorry I didn't see the JUBJUB part.
I usually dont bother reading what he has to say.
Anyway like I said earlier, I know the feeling Jeff White did a runner on us a few years ago.
Maybe for christmas,the North Melbourne Football club could ask for a crowd of more than 5000 [paying attendance] at there SCG home games.
------------------
"The good humour man can only be pushed so far ". -Bart Simpson
Westy Boy
6 Nov 2000, 18:18
Top stuff shinners!!
But where's the-
1955-2000.... 45 years of Bulldog barking.... up the wrong tree http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/wink.gif
Or the libba doll with classic lines like.... "don't u look down at me!!!".... and... "oops i forgot to clip my nails.... for the last 3 years" http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/redface.gif http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
.... and the best seller because of its effectiveness..... How to maintain a clean cut image for your AFL club in the 90's- Doggie style. .... and i'll be paying cash BTW http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/wink.gif
Oh- almost forgot- the "Bigfooty- i can't take a joke guide", with an appendix showing how to get really personally offended and taking witty posts to heart. http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif
[This message has been edited by Westy Boy (edited 05 November 2000).]
Shinboners
7 Nov 2000, 01:15
Westy Boy
Oh, I put the Libba doll right next to the "Greg Miller's Guide on How To Win Friends And Influence People" http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
Pessimistic
7 Nov 2000, 01:57
The mention of Ben Allan reminded me of how hard it was for Hawthorn at that time. Allan and Jarman left Hawthorn in successive years. Imagine your team losing two gun midfielders (in their prime) like that
Rather funny Shinners, but does the Peter Bell sticker come in an Aaron Hamill version? Or alternatively, the Briswhine doll, can we buy it in an Aaron Who doll? Every time you pull the string it could say
"Show me the money, Show me the money"
"Loyalty? What's that?" http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
I probably shouldn't post this. No doubt I will now get smart alec comments about Hamill leaving. http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/smile.gif
Shinboners
7 Nov 2000, 03:08
Westy Boy
Did I mention that the Libba doll looks like an Edward Scissorhands with olive skin instead of chalk white and with long fingernails instead of scissors?
B-Girl
As Sandie and Westy Boy pointed out, some people just don't have a sense of humour. And yes, we can make an Aaron Hammil version! http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/wink.gif http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/smile.gif http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
[This message has been edited by Shinboners (edited 06 November 2000).]
And can I interest anyone in the Genuine West Coast Eagle "Official AFL Complaint Form"- straight from our archives, personally signed by Judgey.
It appears we're overstocked with these, so now its SELL SELL SELL.
Only $15.95 (or 5 concession picks) per 1000. We gurantee monday lodgement.
http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
One Years subscription to HOOTERS for Carey.
For all Adelaide Crows supporters.
The Gary Ayres life story
titled "At The End Of The Day"
------------------
"Hillbillies are people too"
RICE80SF
9 Nov 2000, 04:13
Shinners
That was a pisser "The Essendon history pre '99 for dummies" was a pisser. http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/smile.gif.
Now a Roo fan mate of mine, wants to know if you've got any of those "Hypercolour" Jumpers left where when you touch the Blue it turns to Orange http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/biggrin.gif ? Will a couple of very healthy looking plants with large green leaves suffice for payment?
Cheers.
Rooboy 96
9 Nov 2000, 06:57
Originally posted by Global:
One Years subscription to HOOTERS for Carey.
Well that was a ***** stupid post considering it was your first... Global have more pride in yourself next time...It's not too late to change your name at least...
Who made you God. Have a humor transplant kiddo
Bloodstained Angel
9 Nov 2000, 08:41
For the Rage and Anger challenged
'The Rodney Eade phone'
guaranteed never to break, smash it on any hard surface and it just keeps coming back for more. Tested time and time again by the coach of the Sydney Swans and its never broken.
"I used to go through a phone in the coaches box every week untill Dick Colless had this one installed - now whenever Dale Lewis fluffs an easy shot at goal I can vent my rage on the telephone in confidence, thanks Shinboners.com.au !"
only $29.95
also included "Rodney Eade sound proof webbing"
This amazing material, developed especially for the WACA visiting coaches box is now available nationwide. No need to cover the ears of the kiddy supporters or call the cops ever again, simply wrap the offending coach in the webbing and continue to watch the footy in comfort.
Free with any order of Rodney Eade phone - call or click now !
Rose coloured sunglasses now here!! Good for those wanting to see things not as they are BUT as they want them to be. Rooboy please note I will give you a free pair.
BSA
Do they come in the industrial strength Ken Judge model?
There is also a new line of "You White Maggot!!" stress balls, shaped just like the real thing and available only in white. Just the thing for when those infuriating deliberate out of bounds decisions in your defensive back pocket go against your team.
Just give them a bit of a squeeze and hear the umpire's whistle rise up an octave or two!!
Batteries not included!
Shinboners
9 Nov 2000, 09:01
Ricey
Those health plants....put a few leaves into the half-time cookies, and we won't need any hypercolour fabric to make our colours change from blue to orange http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
Shinboners
9 Nov 2000, 09:58
Shinbonershop.com.au now offer medical services in the form of psychological couselling. This is a special service for Port Adelaide fans who are suffering from a bipolar disorder that switches between delusions of grandeur and an inferiority complex. This disorder has arisen due to having spent so much time as a big fish in a little pond (causing the grandeur) and now finding it hard to adjust to being a small fish in a much bigger pond (causing the inferiority) plus an issue of rivalry stemming from having a much more successful sibling in their home town.
We will also be offering treatment for "attention deficit disorder" to Fremantle fans. This complex is caused by the rest of the footballing community ignoring this club, and hence, the club members and fans try to gain attention by causing fights against their city siblings and ranting on about just by poaching one player, they will win next year's premiership (or something like that....I'm usually looking for some wet paint for me to watch dry after trying to chat to a Freo fan after five minutes).
Eagle_Fan
9 Nov 2000, 20:30
Top stuff guys!
Thanks for the laugh http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
Keep it up - please?
and all new is the LIL' BLIGHTY Doll by Mattel.
Dressed in a LIL' snappy commentators outfit, LIL' BLIGHTY (RRP $39.95), will randomly moan about tactics, silly free kicks, umpiring decisions, poorly constructed zone defenses and coaching gaffes for hours on end, just like he was actually coaching himself.
Just sit LIL BLIGHTY in front of any game, and watch him moan !!!! HOURS OF FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY !!!!
Also available are the LIL' Mike Sheahan doll (with bendable facial features so your punches make a REAL impact)& the LIL' John Elliot doll (Peter Jackson Super 30's, and a sh*tload of alcohol included).
Great for the kids, and the whole family.
Bloodstained Angel
11 Nov 2000, 09:46
hehehe
and Arch did you notice the little string hanging out the back of 'Lil Blighty' ?
pull the string and the doll says
"Lil Blighty is tired of football"
Newly available for the Lil Blighty:
Lil Blighty mix and match coaching uniform - Currently available for North Melbourne, Geelong, Adelaide and St Kilda.
New uniform added every two years.
Collect all 16!!!
Originally posted by Bitch:
Rather funny Shinners, but does the Peter Bell sticker come in an Aaron Hamill version? Or alternatively, the Briswhine doll, can we buy it in an Aaron Who doll? Every time you pull the string it could say
"Show me the money, Show me the money"
"Loyalty? What's that?" http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
I probably shouldn't post this. No doubt I will now get smart alec comments about Hamill leaving. http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/smile.gif
Yep you sure will http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/wink.gif
Just kidding, but it is interesting to hear a Carlton supporter bemoaning players leaving club for the almighty dollar http://www.bigfooty.com/ubb/biggrin.gif