Time Passing Jokes

[Sick Puppy]

A man escapes from prison where he had been kept for 15 yrs. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, Where he finds a young Couple in bed.
He takes the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, then ties the woman to the bed and gets on top of her and kisses her on the neck, gets up and goes to the bathroom.
Whilst in the bathroom, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is a prisoner, just look at his clothes! He's probably spent alot of time in prison and hasn't seen a woman in years. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction. Surely he's dangerous and if he's angered in any way he'll kill us both. Be strong honey, i love you".
To which the wife replies: "I'm glad you think that way, sure, he hasn't seen a woman in years, but he wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear...... He told me he found you very sexy and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong honey, i love you too".:D

[dancingdoggie17]

There were 2 blondes building a house. Blonde #1 was nailing the weatherboards on the house. she would take out a nail and if it was pointing towards the house she would hammer it in, if it was pointing the otehr way she would chuck it in a pile on the ground. When blonde #2 realised what was going on she went nuts. "what the hell are you doing?" she said. #1 replied that she was simply chucking out the defective nails. #2 was amazed at #1's stupididy. "You moron! Are you totally stupid? You give all us Blondes a bad name! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"

[dancingdoggie17]

The seven dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow
White runs to the entrance and yells down to them.
In this distance a voice shouts out "Collingwood are good enough to
win the Premiership."
Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"