The "Saturday Arvo" team ... a recap

[The Speaker]

From what I can gather Basil would've done most of his learning from a certain D Cometti.

Whereas HHH would've done absolutely no training whatsoever because he thinks he's already pretty good at it.

 

[Burzum]

joe444 has made this thread legendary.

 

[Stats Man]

i wonder who wrote this wikipedia page...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamish_McLachlan

 

[The Speaker]

HHH = "Rompingwins"

?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Rompingwins

 

[Bristol]

He's no better on radio. Uses the cassical "re-load" phrase for a boundary throw-in.

As well as that, apparently you can unload a huge kick if it goes a maximum 15 metres, as Cyril Rioli did by unloading a huge short-pass.

 

[Stats Man]

HHH = "Rompingwins"

?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Rompingwins

haha...

 

[joe444]

THIRD QUARTER

I promise I am not making any of this up and – once they get competent or at least boring – I won't have a reason to keep putting myself through this. But I did kick 3 goals in an under-14s match. I shared THE ENERGY that day. I used to catch the number 14 bus and, as eleven year olds go, I was quite the handsome prepubescent boy. I also played alongside players like Tgjwef$k!s#hsdfjk and never mentioned them again. So I'll keep reshooting this load until I get noticed in a pub in London, or change my surname to Demetriou.

And we're back in what the graphics declare officially as “Arvo” footy, with a resentful ex-coach, some inane dudes, Denis-lite and HHH behind the mic.

Oh God, Kirky, NOOOOOO. He started so well, but he's inhaled something at half time and is welcoming us back from the break:
“Well the tradishunalhomeafoody, notsotradishunal. Lead up to this game. Over at Punt Road overtheback there. [BREATHE, KIRKY, BREATHE! Subject – verb – object!] I wenna cross to muldiculturel avent. It was Indian cuisine. Bollywood dancers. Bachar Houli's brother was eating falafels. It was a GREAT effortthere. Anthatswhatiloveaboutfoody (what, falafels? Bachar's brother?). It embraces everyone. Just to tap into Colin Silvia's words. Four quarter efferts. Harder for longer. That's what I woulda said today.” (to whom? Falafels? Bachar? Nathan Jones' under 9s?)
Basil (still trying to get that voice deeper): “Thanks Kirky.”
HHH: “A falafel. That's nice right now.”
(note: Falafels are not Indian, but who cares at this point?)

HHH runs through the list of “debutantes” for Richmond since round 3, 2010. Why? DO NOT ASK, FOOLISH MORTAL! He then decides Bail plays for Melbourne. It's close enough to Bate, I guess.

Basil: “The first goal in thirty minutes” - COS OF HALF TIME, DOUCHE.
Basil: “Jermey Howe's first cousin is ... in Barbados.” I DO NOT CARE!!
Basil: “Bouncing ball! Well, it didn't bounce. Garland took the mark.” (don't worry Baz, that rule confuses fans all the time. I wish it was clearer.)

HHH: “The ball goes BANG!” (translation: a goal / aka 'boom goes the dynamite') Then the “umpire reloads” and my world spins slightly as I thank HHH for the shottie.
HHH: “Dangerous Ball!” Well, it's already gone 'bang'. (different from Dwayne's 'chaos ball' in that it scores fewer hit points in whatever nerdy game Asian kids play online right now against dragons.)
HHH: [shot for goal] “Hasn't got the journey ... it's got the travel.” (Ah wise.)
HHH: “Mr Momentum right now is wearing yellow and black” (no comment)

 

[joe444]

LAST QUARTER

After a tame start, HHH tells us that the Grimes family (who have sons on both sides) want THEIR SON to win. And thus, the stupidity continues as this game grinds to its end.

HHH decides to be a white male dick: “Melbourne right now are playing like a third world country.” Gee, that's so classy. Was that really the only analogy he could think of? Does a falafel feel good right now?

Basil/HHH repeatedly: “thanks Kirky.” Sounds like an official instruction to the callers. Whatever he says, whenever, he gets that obligatory response. Maybe he just saw a falafel.

Give them their due, this quarter has been competent so far. But here's a telling moment.HHH may even have come up with this question, but it is equally likely it was fed to him:
HHH: “What is [Mark Neeld] thinking now?”
Mick: “Can he go back a year I reckon..”
OKAY, SO STOP. MICK HAS JUST DROPPED A BOMBSHELL HERE.
DO YOU ASK FOR MORE & ACT LIKE A CALLER?
OR DO YOU:
(a) Freeze
(b) Choke
(c) Act like a corporate tool
(d) All of the above.


HHH: “Rewind the clock, eh?”

Look, they're clearly the worst team calling the game. I'll admit they don't have the leeway of radio – let alone that of K-Rock (where Chelsea Roughy is something of an icon in cold weather). But different standards apply to the national exclusive broadcast.

And I'm done.

 

[Borussia Teeth]

Thank you joe444 for another brilliant recap.
What happened to the felafel in the end?

 

[kennerado]

Hilarious recap

 

[The Sultan]

Yet to really Listen to a full call yet, so not sure if I am looking forward to the blues v essendon game this sat.

 

[joe444]

Thank you joe444 for another brilliant recap.
What happened to the felafel in the end?

It reloaded its energy, went bang and thanked Kirky.

And, having missed the Conca/Jackson stuff-up because I was just listening to the call whilst doing other stuff, here it is in full:

THIS HAS TO BE THE MOST INCOMPETENT COMBINED CALL OF ALL TIME. (sans Mick, who is dying for the sins of others)

For one thing, Baz actually calls Conca at the other end of the ground to start this passage of play, but that won't prevent him from allowing Conca to teleport to the other end of the ground in the shape of Jackson. Perhaps he was inhaling at half time as well.

"It's sat. It's sat. It's sat [urday arvo?] It's bounced over the line hasn't it? Umpire says no. [game goes on but Baz is onto something] Umpire was right there. Looked as though it was ... pretty close. [Whilst Baz struggles with words to describe a ball not going over a line, the ACTUAL GAME CONTINUES and Jackson kicks a goal] It comes back. [what does? His train of thought?] Conca gathers. Now it's a goal! [what was it beforehand?] The replay will be interesting."

[heck it might reveal who actually kicked it. COME ON. 7 are showing Jackson in a close up with his number in full view afterwards.]

But Mick helps out about the replay by getting the name right. Will Baz notice? After all 7 are on an ad right now. Will HHH at least mention something out of the break like, "So Jackson kicks his first" to at least semi-clarify?

Nah, HHH has his script and he ain't budging. It's time for the "Neeld thinking" question (see previous)

So it's Conca's goal.

Un be lievable.

 

[Underdog]

The OP was funny. The rest has just turned into petty ranting.

So he got a name or two wrong. Big deal. He's new to the gig. His calling of the game is otherwise decent and his comments are generally footy related.

Bagging him for mentioning that Alex Rance's old man was Murray and played for West Coast...extremely petty.

With regard to correcting players names, unless it's straight away, commentators rarely do so. But I can see how clearly you are devastated with it considering you didn't know who kicked it...wait, you did regardless.

 

[joe444]

"The OP was funny."

Dick, I AM the OP. And it's funnier that they did NOTHING to fix all the things you found funny.

"He's new to the gig"

Oh God. Should I LEAVE HIM ALOOOOOONE? He's the guy with the mic on Saddadyarvo. He's also the COO's brother. He was an unemployed "sports manager" [what is that? not sports, not managing?] in a London pub (cos that's where you luvuafooty) in 2007 when he got "noticed" - though he has deleted that part of his wikipedia profile - which he obsessively updates, so I'm sure it is accurate.

I don't like his calling of footy. So I post, dick.

"So he got a name or two wrong"

Not like it's his job or anything. Sheesh, who'd expect a commentator to get those pesky names right. It's not like he's on the NATIONAL BROADCAST or anything. So what if he said "Wrigglewright" out of absolutely nowhere, and went on like he'd said nothing. How dare I besmirch people like HHH just cos he has Tourette's?

"Bagging him for mentioning that Alex Rance's old man was Murray and played for West Coast...extremely petty"

That was Baz. And I didn't bag HamohammerhamebigHtheHHamseyHammertimeHHH for that. He can mention parenthood and be relevant. I bagged BAZ (who once spoke to a guy who kicked a point in the under 10s grand final) for claiming that Rance's son could add to his 99 (in fact 97) game career and achieve "the milestone" for him. That's just dumb.

"But I can see how clearly you are devastated."

No, but I find idiots funny. And I bag them.

You are very funny.

 

[Hodgepodge]

Anyone catch Kirk's interview with Boak at half time last week? Was odd.

 

[cammo78]

Ah s**t, now I have to keep going

Basil Brett Kirk. Sydney Swans co-captain. He's in the Essendon rooms.

Brett Thanks Basil. I just wanted to give you a bit of an insight into the Saturday afternoon team.
(WTF has this to do with the Essendon rooms?)
We're a bunch of unique individuals. [Raises hand to count names] Malthouse. Harley. Zempilis. McLachlan. And myself. We're gonna [pause] engage with our minds [pause] and our hearts. We're gonna exchange ideas, thoughts and even our energy.
And you speak from your heart. (I do? Awh, shucks, Kirky)
You need to have [pumps fist] courage. (who does? why?)
You need to be honest. [grins scarily] And authentic. (who? me? why?)
We're not always going to get it right. [shrugs] And sometimes.
[pause]
Younotgunna agree with us.
But that's okay. (phew, thought it was a deal-breaker)
Becusjuslikeyou, WE CARE.
[POINTS AT CAMERA IN AN I NEED YOU POSE]
We're passhanutabout thegame.
[smiles again in a spooky pedo way]
So if you wannacomealongfortheride, join us on Saddadayarvos,
Cos we jus love the footy.

AWFUL. And a bit weird.

His halftime interview with Boak was all about leadership. I get the link, but he can't do that every week.

SEN played this on Saturday morning.

I have fair dinkum never heard anything more ridiculous in my life.

Brett Kirk, for all his positives, is a weird individual and not cut out for TV.

Give me the 90's with Sandy, Drew, Robbo, Don Scott, Peter McKenna, Blighty, Gerard Healy, etc etc anyday.

 

[cammo78]

[YOUTUBE]wKlE5ICe5rA[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Hodgepodge]

[YOUTUBE]wKlE5ICe5rA[/YOUTUBE]

Beat me to it

lol.

 

[Underdog]

"The OP was funny."

Dick, I AM the OP.

I never said you weren't. I should have said opening post instead of OP.

"He's new to the gig"

Oh God. Should I LEAVE HIM ALOOOOOONE? He's the guy with the mic on Saddadyarvo. He's also the COO's brother. He was an unemployed "sports manager" in a London pub (cos that's where you luvuafooty) in 2007 when he got "noticed" - though he has deleted that part of his wikipedia profile - which he obsessively updates, so I'm sure it is accurate.

I don't like his calling of footy. So I post, dick.

I was referring to Basil...you were talking about his mistaken calls in the post directly before mine.

"So he got a name or two wrong"

He's on the national broadcast. He called a player "Wrigglewright". What is that? Tourette's?

Again, referring to Basil...

"Bagging him for mentioning that Alex Rance's old man was Murray and played for West Coast...extremely petty"

That was Baz. And I didn't bag Hamohammerhame for that. He can mention parenthood and be relevant. I bagged BAZ (who once spoke to a guy who kicked a point in the under 10s grand final) for claiming that Rance's son could add to his 99 (in fact 97) game career and achieve "the milestone" for him. That's just dumb.

Again, Basil...

"But I can see how clearly you are devastated."

No, I find idiots funny.

Usually. Sometimes they're just dumb.

Thanks, Hamo.

Comprehension is not your strong point. Hilarious that your comprehension fails lead to calling me a "dick". Real intelligent stuff. With material like that, you should be commentating alongside Hamish.

 

[GAS PANIC]

Don't know if this has been mentioned before but Fletcher has been refered to as Inspector Gadget for ages now. Everyone seems to know this except Malthouse who has called him 'Mr. Gadget' for the past two weeks. Its like no one else has the balls to actually tell him he is not saying it right.

 

[Demonic Ascent]

"The OP was funny."

Dick, I AM the OP. And it's funnier that they did NOTHING to fix all the things you found funny.

"He's new to the gig"

Oh God. Should I LEAVE HIM ALOOOOOONE? He's the guy with the mic on Saddadyarvo. He's also the COO's brother. He was an unemployed "sports manager" [what is that? not sports, not managing?] in a London pub (cos that's where you luvuafooty) in 2007 when he got "noticed" - though he has deleted that part of his wikipedia profile - which he obsessively updates, so I'm sure it is accurate.

I don't like his calling of footy. So I post, dick.

"So he got a name or two wrong"

Not like it's his job or anything. Sheesh, who'd expect a commentator to get those pesky names right. It's not like he's on the NATIONAL BROADCAST or anything. So what if he said "Wrigglewright" out of absolutely nowhere, and went on like he'd said nothing. How dare I besmirch people like HHH just cos he has Tourette's?

"Bagging him for mentioning that Alex Rance's old man was Murray and played for West Coast...extremely petty"

That was Baz. And I didn't bag HamohammerhamebigHtheHHamseyHammertimeHHH for that. He can mention parenthood and be relevant. I bagged BAZ (who once spoke to a guy who kicked a point in the under 10s grand final) for claiming that Rance's son could add to his 99 (in fact 97) game career and achieve "the milestone" for him. That's just dumb.

"But I can see how clearly you are devastated."

No, but I find idiots funny. And I bag them.

You are very funny.

Don't act so surprised at the incompetence - Kirky already warned everyone last week that they won't always get it right and that you won't always agree with them. But they have heart and (fist pump) courage, speak their minds, share their energy and are pashanutabout thegame so just lay off would ya!

 

[joe444]

Two thoughts:

HP - we agree on something! Share the energy with me!

Underdog -
Dick, don't open up with a correction that corrects YOURSELF.

I believe you. You were referring to Baz all along in a sneak stealthy STUPID way. You didn't actually mention him at all, but I believe you. You also then defended all the errors I pointed out made by HHH, not BAZ, but I believe you. You were defending Baz, cos this thread has been all over him, not hhh.

BUT YOU'RE IN THE CULT OF KIRKY

You have courage
We have authenticity
And belive
Over the road
Cos we care

We care about
Muldikulcheralizm

And falafel.

So if you can't find another channel
Or realise there isn't one

Pump your energy until it shares
Cos we PUNCH CAMERAS

And played under 9s

 

[pepsi]

Woweee...Just saw the Kirk video.

In the words of another "Great" commentator (see if you can guess which one)....

That's horrendous!

 

[Underdog]

Underdog -
Dick, don't open up with a correction that corrects YOURSELF.

I'm man enough to admit when I've made a blunder...

I believe you. You were referring to Baz all along in a sneak stealthy STUPID way. You didn't actually mention him at all, but I believe you. You also then defended all the errors I pointed out made by HHH, not BAZ, but I believe you. You were defending Baz

The post prior to mine was mainly about Basil. I was responding to incidents you described by Basil.

If you can't comprehend I was referring to him, that's your problem.

cos this thread has been all over him, not hhh.

Pretty sure the title says "The "Saturday Arvo" team" not "HHH". Pretty sure you've also discussed Basil, Mick and Kirk.

You're a hamosexual.

Witty...

You seem to be taking this very much to heart. Did I upset your precious feelings? Nothing else would explain your immature attempts at abuse.

 

[Underdog]

Was wondering who you were and see over half of your total posts have been in Bay 13...urgh! I'm out. Not going to bother to further engage with you.