Jim Boy
Last Activity:
Oct 25, 2014 at 11:39 PM
Joined:
Jun 4, 2002
Posts:
12,304
Likes Received:
3,403
1,654
Gender:
Male
Birthday:
Dec 1, 1907 (Age: 106)
Location:
Location!

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Jim Boy

Admin, Male, 106, from Location!

chilling Sep 11, 2014

Jim Boy was last seen:
Oct 25, 2014 at 11:39 PM
    1. Chief
      Chief
      followin u!
      1. Jim Boy
        Jim Boy
        stalker!
        Oct 2, 2014
      2. Chief
        Chief
        chilling
        Oct 2, 2014
    2. Jim Boy
    3. Jim Boy
      Jim Boy
      sadly missed
    4. Jim Boy
      Jim Boy
      Not since sooz got the boot
    5. Doss
      Doss
      Your wall has not seen any love in far too long, JB. So here we are.
    6. carntheroos4eva
      carntheroos4eva
      Thought I had better tell you that we had some idiots use the chat function of that crappy Novell software that many uni's use. I am guessing by the amount of messages they sent, yes everyone saw them, they won't be allowed to use their accounts because they were farting about all the time.
    7. carntheroos4eva
      carntheroos4eva
      I am back on air! this time I will try and not put my foot in where it's not needed.
    8. carntheroos4eva
      carntheroos4eva
      Workplace Farting: Options Explored

      Whether the cause is a previous night of drinking or a big lunch, the outcome is the same: Farts.
      Seventy percent of the time, we can dispense freely. The other 30% of the time, such as at work, we have some tough decisions to make. This document is intended to help you in those decisions.

      Holders - The obvious choice is just plain holding it in. A popular choice among the females and an almost impossible choice for males. I am not in favor of holding, as I believe the medical community has not done enough research about the long-term damage of holding. Really, where does it go if you hold it in? So be forewarned, using this tactic is to be done at your own risk.

      Desk Jockey - When deciding to release right at your desk, one has many factors to consider:
      - Do you have your own office? Feel free to fart at will risk free. After commencing, I highly recommend locking the door and feigning you are not in the office to avoid any unwanted visitors. I also highly recommend against spraying air freshener, as the smell of the freshener is a dead giveaway. Candles are a good alternative solution for the females.

      - Are you seated at a cubicle or open desk? If so, one has to consider the proximity of the other workers and the density of workers in the area. If it is just you and one other person in the area, there is nowhere to place the blame. If others are fairly distant to you, the smell will dissipate by the time it reaches the others on all but the most egregious of days. There is always the chance of dispensing at higher decibels than anticipated due to the highly unstable nature of farts. In these most unfortunate situations, you will have to use cover up sounds such as scraping your heal on the floor. I recommend practicing making sounds covering a wide range of tones and pitches in anticipation of such an event. Dropping objects such as staplers, binders and tape may not produce a similar sound, but if done in rapid succession could distract others from the initial event.

      Meetings: - Sometimes the urge strikes at the most inopportune time. Meetings and gas really do not mix. Releasing at a meeting is by far the trickiest of all the situations one could find oneself in. Although I am against holding in general, a meeting may be the time for it. It really depends if you have established baseline farts before the meeting. This will give you a sense of the decibel and scent level of what is to be expected. Warning: Do not ever use a meeting as the place to establish a baseline. Of course none of the above applies if you are meeting with vendors. You have free reign to do whatever you like.

      Aisle Walker: - Releasing while walking around the office is a popular option. By the time the scent disseminates, you should be nowhere near the scene of the incident. The added benefit is that if the release is done at higher decibels than anticipated, you can break out into an all out sprint thereby fleeing the scene before others even look up to notice.

      Broom Closet: - One option is to find a broom closet and release inside the closet. The only drawback is explaining why you were in the broom closet if you are caught entering or leaving the closet. I found stashing stationery supplies in the closet provides a nice excuse. People will love you for informing them about the backup stationery supply cabinet. Of course, you then have to find another closet, as your original place will become too risky.

      And remember, if you're workplace has many open flames, you are on your own.:D

      Thought that I would cheer you up JB.:thumbsu:
      1. dvas987 likes this.
    9. OzBomber
      OzBomber
      Jim Boy is green again. :D
    10. carntheroos4eva
      carntheroos4eva
      He's back with his name in green.
    11. carntheroos4eva
      carntheroos4eva
      Baked beans and their delightful tune

      A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but they always had a somewhat lively effect on him. After he met the woman of his dreams, he made the supreme sacrifice and gave them up; he couldn't imagine subjecting his new wife to his beastly emissions.
      On his birthday, his car broke down, so he called his wife and told her he'd have to walk home. He walked past a cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he was still a couple of miles from home, he figured he could indulge, and then walk off any ill effects. So he had three extra-large helpings of beans, and he "put-putted" all the way home.

      His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!"

      She blindfolded him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table, making him promise not to peek. At this point, he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang and she went to answer it.

      While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He gasped and felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. This one sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. He tried flapping his arms, to clear the air. But another one snuck out, and the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook, and a minute later, the flowers on the table were dead.

      When he heard his wife ending her conversation, he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. He was the picture of innocence when she walked in.

      Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. He assured her he had not, so she removed the blindfold and yelled, "Surprise!!!"

      To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

      Thought that this joke might cheer you up. catch ya later.
    12. Kerrby
      Kerrby
      You lost moderator :(?
    13. carntheroos4eva
      carntheroos4eva
      There is one thing that I will ask you. Can you please take me off global ignore?
    14. carntheroos4eva
      carntheroos4eva
      Nah I won't. I am a mate of yours I don't want to upset you.
      PM me and let me know what happened. I won't tell anyone.
    15. Jim Boy
      Jim Boy
      try me and see how far you get
    16. carntheroos4eva
      carntheroos4eva
      Did you get given the arse, JB?
    17. carntheroos4eva
      carntheroos4eva
      Hey JB,

      Check your PM's.
    18. Jim Boy
      Jim Boy
      Green is for hippies
    19. OzBomber
      OzBomber
      Yeah, what happened?
    20. Marklar_33
      Marklar_33
      What happened to the bold green name... have you no authorit-ae anymore?
    21. carntheroos4eva
      carntheroos4eva
      Keep up the great work JB. Don't let anyone give you any shit.
    22. cats2rise
      cats2rise
      Shannon Byrnes is an average footballer.
    23. chickens_law
      chickens_law
      Keep up the good job Jim Boy!

      Just testing this out
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  • About

    Gender:
    Male
    Birthday:
    Dec 1, 1907 (Age: 106)
    Location:
    Location!
    AFL Club:
    Geelong
    Other Teams:
    pivotonians
    Tipping:
    <strong>Tips</strong> <a href="../tips/?mod=my_ladder&u=4288" target="_tips"> Tip rank: 856</a>
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