Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories

Remove this Banner Ad

Status
Not open for further replies.

Log in to remove this ad.

This story isn't funny but it is awkward.

Decided on a whim after a date to go to a park with a lady and do the deed in the car. I'm giving it to her in the back seat and she's moaning and groaning, and then the next second she's squealing and squirming. I was really close to my tipping point and figured I was just doing a really good job, so just kept going. Few seconds later she punches me in the chest and shouts at me to turn around. Three guys are standing there grinning ear-to-ear and wanking onto my passenger-side back window. I went with my instincts, threw my marentino coat on her, grabbed a pen and jumped out stark naked save for my socks, ready to mess s**t up. I can't fight so thank god they ran for it. Unfortunately she wasn't in the mood anymore so drove her home. Went home and hosed down the left side of my car. Only positive is thanks to google I now know what dogging is.

On a related note, where's a good not-creepy place to spice things up away from home (in town)?
 
Radius said:
This story isn't funny but it is awkward.

Decided on a whim after a date to go to a park with a lady and do the deed in the car. I'm giving it to her in the back seat and she's moaning and groaning, and then the next second she's squealing and squirming. I was really close to my tipping point and figured I was just doing a really good job, so just kept going. Few seconds later she punches me in the chest and shouts at me to turn around. Three guys are standing there grinning ear-to-ear and wanking onto my passenger-side back window. I went with my instincts, threw my marentino coat on her, grabbed a pen and jumped out stark naked save for my socks, ready to mess s**t up. I can't fight so thank god they ran for it. Unfortunately she wasn't in the mood anymore so drove her home. Went home and hosed down the left side of my car. Only positive is thanks to google I now know what dogging is.

On a related note, where's a good not-creepy place to spice things up away from home (in town)?
Click to expand...

Nice ;)

Also, I'm guessing the thing that spices it up is the fact you may get caught. Looks like you got your wish :D
 
Ok, so not an AFS but this is close enough.

http://www.amazon.com/Veet-Hair-Removal-Creme-200ml/dp/B000KKNQBK/?tag=tmcave-20

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considerd myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen.
I didn't have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me.
The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect..
Click to expand...
 
I'm going to put this in spoiler tags as this is quite an innapropriate story. I'm not exactly sure where the mods rule a line with 'sexual language'..
This isn't a 'Flirting' story, as it involves a couple, but it's an awkward story.... It's awkward to tell as well..
And it is an example of what effect pr0n can do to a teen body and its functions.

4 monts in relationship, 16/17 years old.
The night before:
Tom talks to Lisa about video games to play and making out at her place.
Tom agrees.
Tom is worried as he has only pecked a girl on the lips.

He is also quite a frequent pr0n viewer. He usually ej*cul*tes after watching videos... unprovoked.

The day of occurrence:
Tom meets Lisa at her place.
Lisa is alone.
They sit on floor.
They play SuperMario Bros.
They cuddle.
They get popcorn to eat
They cuddle and start making out on carpet floor
They get used to eachother's lips and make out for 5-10mins.
Tom notices a wet spot on his skinny jeans, goes to bathroom.
Pre-c**. Lots of it. Already.
Tom cleans it up with toilet paper.
Goes back into room where Lisa is waiting.
Blames wet patch on dog because of it's wet nose. Got away with it.

Lisa and tom get back to it. Lasts another 10mins before deciding to go on her bed.
Lisa lies on bed first on her back, Tom climbs between Lisa's legs.
20 seconds in the make out sesh, Tom ej*cul*tes. Lisa doesn't notice.
Lisa grabs Tom's ass, asks if she ruined the mood.
Tom uses this to get the hell out of there to clean up his pants. He says yes she did and runs to the toilets.
C*m everywhere in his jocks
Wet patch reaches his jeans' pocket.
Wipes off all of it, the wet patch is still 'wet'.
Stuffs toilet paper in jocks to stop with wetness.

Rejoins Lisa.
Carries on making out and for next hour and half (with breaks) while dry humping for 20 mins, supposedly without a hitch. This was as far as Tom and Lisa had gone with the opposite sex.

Tom managed to hide all this from girlfriend.
The End.
Yeah.
Enjoy(?)
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

1310650820313.jpg


Confirmed photo of Andonis1997 ?
 
That was out and out the shitest AFS story of all time.

I'm racking my brain to think of a shiter one but nothing comes to mind.
 
Drunkenly making out with a Dutch chick in a hostel in South Korea the other night, she grabs my dick and pulls me into the nearest bathroom. NEKMINNIT. Someone has left a massive ******* steaming turd on top of the toilet seat, she totally freaks out, puts my hand down her pants one more time, and goes to bed.

FUUUUUUUUUUU......
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Frederico_WA
Games & Recreation One ... word ... story ... #1
77 78 79 80 81
Replies
2K
Views
22K
Frederico_WA
Frederico_WA
Gameova_
Funny childhood/school stories
Replies
8
Views
494
Gameova_
Gameova_

Remove this Banner Ad

Back
Top