NMFC Related Songs - Made by the NMFC BF Board!

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I thought this would be a great idea (how every s**t thread starts, but oh well).

It's simple, replace the lyrics of a song to something that relates to our performances this season.

Below are a few perfect examples:
Thewlis Dish
Gary Ablett, Robbie Gray, Richard Douglas, Paddy Day
Taylor Walker, Michael Walters, Jamie Elliot
Robbie Tarrant's contract situ'n, getting toweled by Charlie Dixon
Patch concussion, Luke's done nothing, Goldy running hot

Crowd murmurs, F-bombs, Jamie Mac on Dane Swan
Nat Fyfe, career high, disrespecting other guys
Panic handball strategy, Ryan is the new queen
Lindsay ducking, Atley sucking, Benny Jacobs goodbye

We didn't start a fire
It was Hodgey's elbow
And we let the prick go
We didn't start a fire
We won't fly the flag
'cos we'll piss off Brad

Aaron Black, standing tall, anywhere but near the ball
McKenzie squibbing, Wellsy missing, draftees doing knees
Majak Daw, kicking bags, senior call-up, gets the rag
Opposition loose men, doing as they please

Swallow lacking ammunition, good old Waitey's tunnel vision
Boomer on the half back line, Dumont sitting on the pine
Ziebell on TV, acting captain Petrie
Brad Scott's face, gesticulates
Trouble with the Plan B

We didn't start a fire
We were unprepared
But we'll learn to care
We didn't start a fire
But we'll bounce right back soon
From a brutal review

DarkPhoenix
Hi Braddie!
Hi Crocks!
Do you wanna go for a ride?
Sure Crocks!
Buy a membership!...

I'm a Braddie Boy, in the footy world
Memberships are plastic, it's fantastic!
You can smash my team, Abberation whats it mean?
Imagination, this team is my creation
Come on BJ, let's go party!


I'm a Blue and white player, in an AFL team
Talk me up, make top 4, then underperform.
Sausage roll, rock'n'roll, team of massive pin dicks,
Kick it here, miss it there, it's a turnover...
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "It's easily fixable"

(uu-oooh-u) [2x]
Marstermind
"Fix You" by Brad Scott (and Coldplay)

When you play interstate and you don't succeed
When you lose to the Pies after a 7 goal lead
When you start as favourites but fall in a heap
Stuck in reverse

When the midfield looks like they don’t want to chase
When Gibson’s kicks go all over the place
When you think of Top 4 but it isn’t the case
Could it be worse?

Brad will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And Brad will try to fix you

When every recruit is dreadfully slow
Ziebell’s not captain but it’s Andrew Swallow
We probably should trade but really we don’t know
What anyone’s worth

Brad will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And Brad will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When six friggin’ years seem to have gone to waste
Tears stream down your face
And Brad

Tears stream down your face
Because no one ever pays for their mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And Brad

Brad will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And Brad will try to fix you
 
Thread needs more of Shermanator's excellent take on "Love Shack".

Good stuff, guys. Particularly brilliant work from Thewlis.

Not up to that lofty standard, but it's all my sleep-deprived, organic matter-impeded brain could come up with on the spot at whatever ridiculous time it is...

On the day I was hired
The club all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder
At the coach they had found
Only Euge spoke up
He said "leave this one alone"
He could tell right away
That I was Brad to the bone
Brad to the bone
Brad to the bone
B-B-B-B-Brad
B-B-B-Brad
B-B-B-B-Brad
Brad to the bone

I broke a thousand North hearts
Before I coached you
I'll break a thousand more, baby
Before I am through
I want to be North’s Vince Lombardi
North’s and North’s alone
But I'm here to tell ya, honey
That I'm Brad to the bone
Brad to the bone
Brad to the bone
B-B-B-Brad
B-B-B-Brad
B-B-B-Brad
Brad to the bone

I make that bitch Jacobs beg
I'll pick up Waite for a steal
I'll make Jay-Z blush
And I’ll make Gibbo squeal
And don’t forget Petrie, baby
We're all set to atone
I'm here to tell ya, honey
That we’re Brad to the bone
B-B-B-B-Brad
B-B-B-B-Brad
B-B-B-B-Brad
Brad to the bone

And when I talk my s**t
Truth and bouncers step aside
But every journo I meet
They always stay satisfied
Sure, when I address the players
They nod off like they’re on the ‘Done
But I boast a mean stern look
And I'm Brad to the bone
Brad to the bone
B-B-B-B-Brad
B-B-B-B-Brad
B-B-B-B-Brad
Brad to the bone
 
Now I'm not a coach basher but this one was way too easy to do.

"Brad It" (To the tune of "Dammit" by Blink182)

It's alright / to tell me
what you think / about me
I won't try / to argue
your membership / against you
I know that / you're leaving
you must have / your reasons
Our season / is failing
the players / are falling down

The steps that / I retrace
the sad look / on a supporters face
The timing / our structures
did you hear / we f***ed up?
A game late / against Buck lot
I'm writing / match day report
On losing / and failing
No gameday moves / I'm flailing now

And it's happened once again
our season down the bend
Need someone that understands
Can see the master plan

But Simmos up and gone
And I've been here for too long
To face this on my own
Well I guess my Coaching Sucks

Well I guess my Coaching Sucks

And maybe / I'll see Roos
at a finals / sneak preview
You'll show up / and walk by
on the team / of that guy
And I'll smile / and you'll wave
we'll pretend / it's okay
Coaching panel / it won't last
when he's gone / Simmo won't be coming back

But Horse has up and gone
And I've been here for too long
To face this on my own
Well I guess my Coaching Sucks


And Crocks is basically my spawn
And I've been here for too long
To face this on my own
Well I guess my Coaching Sucks


Well I guess my Coaching Sucks [4x]


 
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GarnerSmash

They tried to make me go to rehab
10k Posts Ex-Moderator North Melbourne - 2015 Daw & MacMillan Player Sponsor North Melbourne - 2014 Daw, Black, Gibson Player Sponsor North Melbourne - 2013 Daw, Black and Gibson Player Sponsorship North Melbourne - North 2012 Player Sponsor North Melbourne - North 2011 Player Sponsor North Melbourne - North 2010 Player Sponsor
Jun 2, 2009
26,836
52,085
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Thank you Shermanator for this absolute ripper:

In the tune of B52's loveshack

Oh we see an ageing side and we're at a fork in the road
but no need to fret because this week braaaaaad's BACK!

Brads back yeah-oh-yeah..

We're heading down the ladder the wrong wayyyyy
not looking for that prelim that got away (that prelim got away..)

I got me a Waite that's as slow as a snail but play him anyway now br-ad-ad-ads back
I got me a unicorn that seats about 20 so hurry up and bring your membership money

The finals are gone but brads hanging on to keep this squad together
Brads back, baby (a-Brads back baby)
Brads back, baby, Brads back
Brads back, baby, Brads back

Crocks says - everything's cool cause hugs rule when br-ad-ad-ads back
Well it started way back when brad had a crack at flying the flag as just being crap
Glitter on the playing group
Glitter on the spirit yeah
Glitter on the guernsey
Glitter on the spirit

Brads back from his back attack so we should head to Etihad and get together
Brads back, baby (Brads back, baby)
Brads back, that's where it's at
Brads back, that's where it's at
 
Mar 14, 2002
61,764
83,157
Gasometer Wing
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
Kangaroos
Power and the Passion (of the NMFC BF Board)
Midnight Oil
10-9-7 etc


Members wasting away on Level 1
Players going backwards, all of the time
Team faltering, falling behind


What do you believe, what do you believe
What do you believe is true
Nothing Scotts says makes a difference this way
Nothing he say will do

Take all the raffle tickets that you can afford
At least you won't have time to be bored on Big Footy

Oh the power and the passion, oh the temper tantrums of the Board
Oh the power and the passion
Sometimes you've got to create the hardest meme


Waite runs around, with no idea at all,
Pies loss and their crowds, that Sunday we never felt so bad,
Breathing in and out, pushing s**t up hill
Stuffin around, paper- rock and scissors will do
Laughing at the truth, 'cause Teffy was right all 'dem years ago'
Top ups from other clubs were not quite enough

Too much of spin, too much of 10 goal smashings
It's enough to make you want to cry

Oh the power and the passion, oh the temper tantrums of the Board
Oh the power and the passion
Sometimes you've got to create the hardest meme
 

sutcliffe's hotel

Premium Platinum
Oct 30, 2005
4,067
10,941
Brisbanistan
AFL Club
North Melbourne
We've Been To A Prelim, But We Still Can't Hit A Lead
(To the tune of Charlene's no. 1 classic - I've Been to Paradise but I've never Been to Me )
If you cannot recall this classic ballad -


Hey Waitey, have you been cursin' at your life?
I’m a discontented member and our forward lines in strife
I've no doubt your footy dreams are about the things you never do
But I wish someone had a talk to me like I wanna talk to you
Ooh we've been to Utah and admired how that Gibbo boy can run
Took the hand of that Brad Scott man and whispered of flags in the summer sun
We dropped to 11th place playing like a disgrace because we let Gary Ablett Jnr run free

We’ve been to a prelim, but we still can’t hit a lead

Please Waitey, please Waitey, don't just sulk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why we are not in the eight today
I watched you tear us a new one so I can’t believe my eyes
Stop taking apart this shinboner heart, kick some goals & yell surprise!
Oh we've fixed some things and when we hit a six goal lead
We sip champagne on a yacht
We move the ball like we haven’t a clue and plan A is all we've got
We've been walloped by crap teams and we've seen some things
That a finals contender ain't s'posed to see

We’ve been to a prelim, but we still can’t hit a lead

Hey, you know what a prelim is? It's a lie
A fantasy we create about our goals as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little mis-kick in the backline, and it's that man you’re meant to be marking
The same one you're going to watch win the Kerridge tonight.

Sometimes I've been to cryin' for ten goal losses
That might have made me complete
But I, I heard from Brad it’s fixable and you learn a lot from defeat

I spent my life exploring how our midfield never manages to break free

We’ve been to a prelim, but you can’t make the finals if you never hit the lead
 
Feb 1, 2008
12,315
15,128
Thailand
AFL Club
North Melbourne
A few minor changes to this Cure classic. Still depressed from Suns.
"The Kiss"

Kiss me kiss me kiss me
Your tongue is like poison
So swollen it fills up my mouth

Love me love me love me
You nail me to the floor
And push my guts all inside out

Get it out get it out get it out
Get your ......g voice
Out of my head

I never wanted this
I never wanted any of this
I wish you were winning
I wish you were winning

I never wanted any of this
I wish you were winning
Winning
Winning
Winning
 
Mar 14, 2002
61,764
83,157
Gasometer Wing
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
Kangaroos
'Waitey what's your game?'

What can I say, what can I do
You don't know how pissed I am with you
You fly for ridiculous marks to pass the time away

Tackled running the wing, I'm in despair
I have to hide my face somewhere
I try to yell abuse but words cannot explain
I must refrain

I could write it on Big Footy
But then what could I say-ay
Guess I'm gonna have to a-ask you
Waitey, what's your game
And can get you to walk because your a pain
Just a few goals will make my day
Barracking for you has made me live in pain

You search for ways, to make a play
When it comes down to it you don't know how to play
To get picked each week I don't know how

To break that dry spell keeps me in hope
To fast, too slow, you're gone, 'holding the ball you dope'
I wonder if you could lower your eyes
And look for Drew....

I could write it on Big Footy
But then what could I say-ay
Guess I'm gonna have to a-ask you
Waitey, what's your game
And can get you to walk because your a pain
Just a few goals will make my day
Barracking for you has made me live in pain.....fade....


 
With apologies to Chumbawumba.

We get knocked down
But we get up again
Though only for another week
We get knocked down
But we get up again
Next game our attitude will be sweet

Pissing the season away
Pissing the season away
We lose to teams above
We lose to teams below
We’ll lose to any team
Cos we won’t have a go
We spout s**t full of promise
Of the good times
And then we play like softcocks
Of the worst times

Oh, Braddy Boy
Braddy Boy

We get knocked down
But we get up again
‘Twas an aberration last week
We get knocked down
But we get up again
Though most of us prefer to cheat

Pissing the season away
Pissing the season away
We lose to teams above
We lose to teams below
We’ll lose to any team
Cos we won’t have a go
We spout s**t full of promise
Of the good times
And then we play like softcocks
Of the worst times

Oh, Braddy Boy
Braddy Boy
 

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Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby (Brad Scott version)

Yo, Brad, let's kick it!

Coach coach scotty, Coach coach scotty

Alright stop, buy a membership and listen
Brad is back with a brand new invention
Certainly not a plan B or plan C
It's making no changes but adding waitey
Should I make a change? Yo, I don't know
Just let Ablett get 50 touches and I'll go
Sub off daw for Dumont at half time like a vandal
And watch our season burn like the wick of a candle

Zone, ditch your man and move
I'm killing our defence like a poisonous mushroom
Tackle, only if you're ready
It's honestly alright if you're not ready
Love it or leave it, you'll go the same way
As greenhead and Garner, they don't play

If there's a problem, yo, I won't solve it
But don't expect any of my coaches to resolve it

Brad brad scotty, brad brad scotty
Brad brad scotty, brad brad scotty
 
Dec 1, 2013
2,346
5,749
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
Boston Celtics, Derby County FC
Brad "2pac" Scott - ("no") Changes

I see no changes..
All I ever see named is Jacobs..
Misplaced hate, every week a disgrace walks the races.. We under..
I wonder what it takes to make this, from Premiership favs to weeks and years we've wasted..
Soon as they saulte the captain Ziebell they'll be acting right..
Cause both Black and Wright, are smoking crack tonight..
As a fanbase we need to chill because we gonna kill eachother..
It takes skill to be #real, Daniel, it's time to heal my brother..
And although he seemed Heaven Sent, we've only got one year left with our President..
It ain't a secret don't conceal the facts, Brad's photographs belong to Gibbo and JMac..
So some things will never change..
Tried to go another way, but now we're back to playing the same old slow game..
Now tell me what's a real supporter to do?
When #getreal don't appeal to the NMFC brother in you?..
They've gotta operate the easy way..
"I made a G today"..
But you made it in a sleazy way, selling crap to the kids..
"I gotta get paid".....

Well that's the way it is.
 
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REM's Bad Day...didn't have to change much!

A Public service announcement followed the siren the other day
I paid, we lost. Go away.
Shits so thick you could stir it with a stick- free Teffy, Bigfooty legacy
We're sick of being jerked around
Wear that on your sleeve

Broadcast me a joyful noise unto the times, Hird,
Count your blessings.
We're sick of being jerked around
We all fall down.

Have you ever seen the televised WADA verdict prize
Investigation dance? Those-ants-in- pants glances.
Well, look behind the eyes
It's a hallowed, hollow anesthesized
"save my own ass, screw these guys"
smoke and mirror lock down

Broadcast me a joyful noise unto the times, Hird,
Count your blessings.
the papers wouldn't lie!
I sigh. Not one more

Its been a bad day.
Please dont take a picture
Its been a bad day.
Please

We're dug in the deep the price is steep.
The umpire is such a creep.
The lights went out, the coffee ran dry
We blamed it on the other guy
Sure, all men are created equal.
Brad the saviour, listen now people
Please stay tuned--we cut to sequel
ashes, ashes, we all fall down.

Broadcast me a joyful noise unto the times, lord, Count your blessings.
Ebrace the lowest fear/Ignore the lower fears
Ugh, this means war.

Its been a bad day.

Broadcast me a joyful noise unto the times, lord,
Count your blessings.
We're sick of being jerked around
We all fall down.

Its been a bad day...
Pleaase...
 
Mar 23, 2001
15,183
48,369
Forever Death riding *
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
Wildcats/Pacers/Chelsea/Scorchers
Macy Gray's "I Try"

No changes, I fear
Where do we go from here?
When will Scotts stop?...
I believe coach hugs has brought us here
And we should be unstoppable
But we're not..

I play it off, but our game plan is poo
I'll keep my cool, but I'm fiendin.

I try to watch us win but we choke
Jarred tries to lead but he stumbles
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
A premiership piss up is not near
Half time lead and we choke
Loogie tries to talk but he mumbles
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
We bend over and take it in the rear

I can see Lindsay playin for frees
But at least he's having a dip which I love
I may seem alright and smile
But my smiles are just a front, just a front

I play it off, but the past decade was poo
I'll keep my cool, but I'm reelin

If brad said goodbye I would choke
I would be so happy I"d stumble
I wouldn't try to hide it, it's clear
I would throw a piss up and invite everyone on here
Goodbye and good ridiance
Just walk away and stay humble
Though you try to hide it, it's clear
your welcome has worn out here



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Mar 14, 2002
61,764
83,157
Gasometer Wing
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
Kangaroos
Macy Gray's "I Try"

No changes, just fear
Where do we go from here?
When will Scotts stop?...
I believe coach hugs has brought us here
And we should be unstoppable
But we're not..

I play it off, but our game plan is poo
I'll keep my cool, but I'm fiendin.

I try to watch us win but we choke
Jarred tries to lead but he stumbles
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
A premiership piss up is not near
Half time lead and we choke
Loogie tries to talk but he mumbles
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
We bend over and take it in the rear

I can see Lindsay playin for frees
But at least he's having a dip which I love
I may seem alright and smile
But my smiles are just a front, just a front

I play it off, but the past decade was poo
I'll keep my cool, but I'm reelin

If brad said goodbye I would choke
I would be so happy I"d stumble
I wouldn't try to hide it, it's clear
I would throw a piss up and invite everyone on here
Goodbye and good ridiance
Just walk away and stay humble
Though you try to hide it, it's clear
your welcome has worn out here



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Lol...Coach hugs
 
Nov 21, 2004
30,913
17,677
Melbourne
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
Arsenal FC
"Beat It"

We tell him don't you ever come around here.
Don't wanna see your face. You better disappear.
The fire's in our eyes and our words are really clear
So beat it, just beat it

You better run, you better do what you can
"Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man"
You're full of s**t, Scott, and you're stealing a buck
So beat it, but you're stubborn as *

[Chorus]
Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
We're so sick of being defeated
"Don't fly the flag, just s**t in your jocks"
It doesn't matter that Crock's in the box"

Just beat it, beat it [4x]
 

GarnerSmash

They tried to make me go to rehab
10k Posts Ex-Moderator North Melbourne - 2015 Daw & MacMillan Player Sponsor North Melbourne - 2014 Daw, Black, Gibson Player Sponsor North Melbourne - 2013 Daw, Black and Gibson Player Sponsorship North Melbourne - North 2012 Player Sponsor North Melbourne - North 2011 Player Sponsor North Melbourne - North 2010 Player Sponsor
Jun 2, 2009
26,836
52,085
AFL Club
North Melbourne
To the tune of 'Mad World' by Tears for Fears (or Gary Jules - Donnie Freakin Darko)



On the field there are the same old faces, no one chases, performance disgraces.
Come mid week they're told "pull up your laces, wipe smirks off faces, selection changes".

"I am bitterly disappointed, we played disjointed and were outpointed.
Weekend comes we'll be extremely ruthless", but f****ng useless, North are toothless.

And we find it kinda funny, we find it kinda sad. The flag we are pursuing now a tragic passing fad.
"We've got the easy fixes, we'll work on those this week", with so many catch phrases we can only be in,

Brad's world.

Brad's world.

The roof is open and it lets the rain in, shadows creeping, North get beaten.
Put together an outstanding quarter, we won't falter, we'll be like Gibraltar.

But the pressure comes we start to fumble, then we crumble and we get rumbled.
In depth review reveals the easy fixes, 6 years later, I think he tricked us.

Teffy called him Snake Oil, I think he may be right, we hear the same old message yet no changes over night.
He's got the easy fixes, JB his BFF, key member of the boys club, remember you're in,

Brad's world.

Brad's world.
 
Crocks Coaching Sucks (Crocodile Rock - Elton John)

I remember when Crocks was young
He and Schwassy had so much fun
Holding tackles and kicking goals
Had an old gold Premi in a case of our own
But the biggest kick he ever got
Was finding out that his coaching sucks
While the other kids were Rocking Round the Clock
We were hopping and bopping to the fact our coaches suck

Well players sucking is something shocking
Wishing for premierships like the 90s to come at will
I never knew me a better time and I guess I never will
Oh Lawdy mama those Friday nights
When Schwassy wore his opponent tight
And the players and coaches were out of sight

La lalalala la lalalala la lalalala la

But the years went by and the Crock just died
Belly went and left us for some foreign guy
Long nights crying by the record magazine
Dreaming of our Premi and the blue and white scene.
And now crocks as a Coach is all we got
Coaching us to Brad and James's plot
Learning fast as the weeks went past
We really thought the Crock as coach would last

Well players sucking is something shocking
Wishing for premierships like the 90s to come at will
I never knew me a better time and I guess I never will
Oh Lawdy mama those Friday nights
When Schwassy wore his opponent tight
And the players and coaches were out of sight

La lalalala la lalalala la lalalala la

 
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Daniel

Daniel is traveling tonight on a plane
I can see his eyes full of light but also full of pain
And I can see Daniel waving goodbye
God it looks like Daniel, retiring right before my eyes

They say the pain is pretty tough though I've never seen
And Daniel says it's the worst that he's ever been
He should know, he's been there enough
Lord I miss Daniel, oh I miss him so much, oh

Daniel my brother you are older than me
Do you still feel the pain of the scars on your heel?
Your eyes have died but you see more than I
Daniel you're a star in the face of the sky

Daniel my brother you are older than me
Do you still feel the pain of the scars on your heel?
Your eyes have died but you see more than I
Daniel you're a star in the face of the sky

Daniel is traveling tonight on a plane
I can see his eyes full of light but also full of pain
And I can see Daniel waving goodbye
God it looks like Daniel, retiring right before my eyes
Oh God it looks like Daniel, retiring right before my eyes

Daniel

 
Daniel

Daniel is traveling tonight on a plane
I can see his eyes full of light but also full of pain
And I can see Daniel waving goodbye
God it looks like Daniel, retiring right before my eyes

They say the pain is pretty tough though I've never seen
And Daniel says it's the worst that he's ever been
He should know, he's been there enough
Lord I miss Daniel, oh I miss him so much, oh

Daniel my brother you are older than me
Do you still feel the pain of the scars on your heel?
Your eyes have died but you see more than I
Daniel you're a star in the face of the sky

Daniel my brother you are older than me
Do you still feel the pain of the scars on your heel?
Your eyes have died but you see more than I
Daniel you're a star in the face of the sky

Daniel is traveling tonight on a plane
I can see his eyes full of light but also full of pain
And I can see Daniel waving goodbye
God it looks like Daniel, retiring right before my eyes
Oh God it looks like Daniel, retiring right before my eyes

Daniel



Not a dry eye left in the Chaddy Food Court as I sang that aloud DP.
 
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