Preview 2016 Round 7: Sydney Swans vs Morally Upstanding Citizens (SCG, Sat May 7th, 4:35pm)

Status
Not open for further replies.
Unfortunately there was a different situation when I did this thread last year, due to the AFL's "independent" and "fair" tribunal acting like Steve Harvey
CYePBOrU0AA_H_q.jpg:large

however....

Justice is finally served!


OXw82W.jpg


anHa3b.png

Robbo reacts in shock

Game Details
Round 7, May 7th 2016, 4:35pm
Sydney Cricket Ground

Broadcast live on FoxFooty nationwide from 4:30pm AEST
Broadcast live on 7Mate in Sydney from 4:30pm AEST

Recent results
Sydney have had complete dominance over the recent history with the drug cheats, winning the last 5 matches and 7 of the last 8:

Round 11, 6 Jun 2010 (SCG) Sydney defeated * 89-80
Round 2, 3 Apr 2011 (ANZ) Sydney defeated * 98-93
Round 20, 6 Aug 2011 (Etihad) * defeated Sydney 100-99
Round 11, 9 Jun 2012 (Etihad) Sydney defeated * 86-82
Round 10, 1 Jun 2013 (SCG) Sydney defeated * 115-71
Round 9, 16 May 2014 (Etihad) - Sydney defeated * 114-64
Round 19, 1 Aug 2014 (SCG) - Sydney defeated * 79-57
Round 1, 4 Apr 2015 (ANZ) - Sydney defeated * 72-60

Last game
Sydney put in their worst performance of the year, but a very soft and scrappy effort against the Lions was just good enough for a 3 point win. Franklin and Parker lead the way, with good input from Mitchell, Hannebery and Kennedy.

[Details of * game against Carlton to be inserted]

Unavailable players
Sydney
Alex Johnson (knee)
Jarrad Waite (hamstring)
Ted Richards (cheekbone)
Michael Talia (foot)
Callum Sinclair (gunshot wound to the leg / lack of ability)

*
Jobe Watson (repeatedly being injected with banned substances and lying to investigators)
Brent Stanton (repeatedly being injected with banned substances and lying to investigators)
Cale Hooker (repeatedly being injected with banned substances and lying to investigators)
David Myers (repeatedly being injected with banned substances and lying to investigators)
Michael Hurley (repeatedly being injected with banned substances and lying to investigators)
Michael Hibberd (repeatedly being injected with banned substances and lying to investigators)
Tayte Pears (repeatedly being injected with banned substances and lying to investigators)
Tom Bellchambers (repeatedly being injected with banned substances and lying to investigators)
Travis Colyer (repeatedly being injected with banned substances and lying to investigators)
Dyson Heppell (repeatedly being injected with banned substances and lying to investigators)
Ben Howlett (repeatedly being injected with banned substances and lying to investigators)
Heath Hocking (repeatedly being injected with banned substances and lying to investigators)

Key Offseason Signings

* new coach
6pa9GV.jpg

James Hird voluntarily leaving his position for the good of the club

* decided that due to the issues they had over the past few years, their new coach should be John Worsfold: a pharmacist whose previous coaching role was at a club with multiple high profile drug-use stories including Ben Cousins, Chad Fletcher, Michael Gardiner and Daniel Chick. You really couldn't make this up.

Callum Sinclair
Carlton+v+Sydney+2016+AFL+NAB+Challenge+41z6pKMs8aOl.jpg

A footballer shoves a spectator who has invaded the pitch

Having finally been located after his 2014 Grand Final disappearance, Lewis Jetta announced that he was going home to warmer climes. In exchange the Eagles offered Callum Sinclair, who they claimed to have played in the 2015 Grand Final (though extensive analysis has failed to confirm that suggestion).

Mediocre in the ruck, Callum has played most of his time up forward or around the ground as a marking target. He's delivered Jon Griffin-esque numbers of 10 disposals and a similar number of hitouts in 2016 and chipped in with 5 goals. His presence allows the club's $800k per year key forward to play almost all of his time in the ruck, making him the most expensive player in history at that position. Fortunately for Callum, Tippett can ruck, and has been excellent.

* New players
With so many players banned for being gutless cheating cowards, * were for some reason given special dispensation to bring in replacements for this year. As the new recruits would only have a limited pre-season to train with their teammates, it was crucial for * to select players that they knew would fit into the club's "culture".

ScmIq0.jpg

Getting the ban(ne)d back together!

Where better to start than with another convicted drug cheat? * could not have hoped for a more perfect fit, and were pleased to announce Ryan Crowley as their first recruit. The fact Crowley was past his prime and a decidedly average footballer also worked in his favour, as he was unlikely to outshine their other list cloggers.

hXShSc.jpg

El Stoko on his way out of Geelong

Matthew Stokes was another obvious choice, having been charged with drug trafficking. Unlike the other * players he was smart enough to agree a plea deal, and was convicted of the lesser charge of drug possession. Unlike Crowley he can play football and is having a solid year, averaging 20 disposals and a goal per game.

boztia.jpg

Darcy Parish on his way to * pre-season training

Tom Papley
After falsifying his height records and pretending he was a key forward, Papley was taken in the rookie draft by the Swans. McShank's absence for round 1 gave him an opportunity which Tom seized with both hands. He's gone on to play all 6 games so far, kicking 8.7 and applying consistent pressure in the forward 50. Though he's had some up and down games, Papley has demonstrated good commitment to the contest and has seemingly pushed ahead of players like BJack and Rose to lock down a spot in the side for much of this year.

Featured players

David Zaharakis

A talented and explosive midfielder who is something of a rarity - an * player that is worthy of respect. Indeed Zaharakis was the only man to stand up against their illegal doping regime, and suffered no penalty from the club, completely removing any chance of sympathy for the other players who could have also withdrawn if they had any integrity whatsoever.

In the absence of a number of suspended midfielders, Zaharakis has stepped up with career best numbers across pretty much all statistical categories. He's also had a very good history against Sydney, and will be the key focus to shut down this week.

Lance Franklin
811740-9346b6dc-dcf3-11e3-bb5e-bb14174cd6c1.jpg

He kicked 3.1 against * last year and that was actually a quiet performance for Buddy. He kicked 5 in 2014 and 8 in 2013, plus 2 bags of 5 in 2010. Looking fit and dangerous in 2016, Franklin has been working up the ground with close to career-best disposal stats plus consistent scoreboard impact. With decent service, Franklin could be in for another big day.

Orazio Fantasia
Not only the owner of one of the best names in the AFL (with all respect to Jack Hiscox), Orazio is having a genuine break-out season. Racking up very good numbers off half-back, he's often their target coming out of defence and has very tidy disposal and good decision-making. A forward tag from someone like Ben McShank could be called for on Saturday.

Josh Kennedy
JPK is having a quiet year by his extremely lofty standards - which means he's still top 10 in the league for clearances and contested possessions. However he loves playing against *, winning the 3 Brownlow votes in both 2013 and 2014, backed up with another staggering 24 contested possessions last year. Without his usual sparring partner in Captain Jab, this could be another day out for Kennedy.

Zach Merrett
Along with Alex Pearce, Rory Lobb and Blake Acres - Merrett was one of the many players left on the board when Beatson elected to draft Zak Jones. He's having a superb season, averaging 28 disposals and consistently among *'s best couple of players. Pacy and skilful, Zach will demand a strong opponent on Saturday. Or we could put Jones on him for the lulz.

Heath Grundy
Along with Jeremy Laidler, Reg is the leader and one of the lynchpins of the Swans' defence. Though his disposal will cause heart palpitations, his positioning and reading of the ball in flight are very solid. Grundy usually plays 100% of gametime and is the constant in a constantly changing defence. He may get the key matchup with Joe Daniher, and will be giving up a significant height and reach advantage.

Key questions

Will * supporters stop enabling their disgusting club and acting like battered spouses?

"I know they cheated for years, constantly lied to us and the players, destroyed the club's future and compromised our players' health, but I still love them!"
leave-her-alone-o.gif

Leave Hird alone!

Will Sam Reid match Jarrad Waite once he's had another few decades to develop?

worn-out-footballer.jpg

Reid having finally reached his potential

Will Captain Jab ever hand back his ill-gotten Brownlow?

Xn5Cwi.jpg


Will the Swans make any team changes?
Nick Smith missed the Brisbane match and would be well suited to a game against * as they have no good small-medium forwards like Breust or Elliot that routinely dismantle him.

Towers and Rose have been amongst the best in the reserves for consecutive weeks and would be a chance for selection, though they may find it very difficult to break into a Swans forward line that has been performing better than it has in years.

Gary Rohan proved he is back to his pre-injury form with 9 disposals and occasional impact in the NEAFL, and could make a return in either the back or forward line.

sGETgE.jpg

Gary Rohan in pursuit of Brent Stanton

Prediction
Notwithstanding their win over Melbourne, * have been poor in 2016 - particularly in attack, where they have scored less points for any other side. They've had their moments, keeping a very dangerous Geelong side to only 72 points, but there were signs of what is to come when Collingwood put 142 past them.

Its a crucial opportunity for Sydney to gain percentage in a year with a very cluttered top 8. The Swans midfield must be too good for *, with Franklin leading them to an 81 point victory.
 
Oct 18, 2015
2,260
2,869
AFL Club
Sydney
First time I've missed a game against the Bombers since 2007. Don't think I'll be missing too much.
If Sinclair is out, is Naismith a chance over Nankervis?
 
Jarrad Waite (hamstring)?
Mmmmm..... ?????
A key position player who was tried at both ends for years, the son of a former VFL player, who was talked up for a decade as having high potential. Do we have anyone on our list like that, with a hamstring injury?

Spoiler: See last year's preview thread for the reference :)
 
First time I've missed a game against the Bombers since 2007. Don't think I'll be missing too much.
If Sinclair is out, is Naismith a chance over Nankervis?
No, Naismith played his second game of his comeback after a long time off. He'll need quite a few weeks in the NEAFL to build fitness.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back