CM Punk quotes

Taken Form T-Dog on the Wrestlecrap Forums.

Since there's tons of thread in WWE Current about him, I thought it'd be best to whip this out. These are all either from ROH, IWA-MS, his Livejournal, or etc. NONE are from WWE since well.....he hasn't had much to say there.

So without further adu. (this will take several posts since they're all scattered)

(And for reference, Bower and Prazak are other ROH commentators, and Bower is ROH booker Gabe Sapolsky)
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"Doubt f***s everything. Take a foundation, no matter how strong, sprinkle generously with doubt, and watch it crumble. Me? I'm unf***withable. Not this knee, not bad weather, and certainly not the many men that wish bad intentions on me can stop me. I rise up, not like a phoenix, but like the zombie corpse of Dick Murdoch. This brainbuster is for you."

Bower-I didn't see that coming
Punk-Neither did Fast Eddie.....Come on, put that over!


"Roderick Strong, with his freaky * strength..."


"You can tell that hold is effective because his face is red and the rest of his body is the color of a bottle of 2% milk."


"There is no God and that cage was NOT 30 feet!"


"You ever punched a horse in the eye?"


Punk: "Why would you show me your naked dad?"
Cabana: "I thought it was funny"


"She was 8 feet tall."


"*chuckle chuckle* Never seen a line in the guys' bathroom before!"


"Is that a goatee or a bullseye for your boyfriend?"


"NOT HERE! YOUR NOT IN THE BATHROOM!"


"Your Heavy!"


"You could have went to the office and demand your parents hard-earned money back you big dummy."


Punk: "What's you name?"
Random Fan: "I am...."
Punk: "I don't give a s***"


"Honestly, you ****ing DICK, get the **** away from my car, or i'll eat your dog."


"Rest in peace Blinky."


"Yes, I wanted to win! I wanted the belt! I'm a belt mark! I want to sleep with it! I want to wear that and nothing else to church on Sunday!"


"So there's Corino, nose-to-nose with this gigantic beastly transvestite..."


"Loser, Loser, and FAT LOSER" (about Gibson, Lethal, and Samoa Joe in order)


(referring to BJ Whitmer on apron cheering Jacobs on)
"Hey Prazak, shhh, if you listen you can hear the hillbilly music in his head! Look at him clapping on like hes in a jamboree. Have you ever seen a man built like a horse clap like that?"


(referring to Ricky Reyes)
"Oh oh and there goes Joe beating on that guy with a head the shape of a fish!"


"You know Dave Prazak, whoever came up with the Hillbilly Jesus line is really the man. He is a great looking guy. And the best pro-wrestler ever, as well"


(referring to Jay Lethal during his ROH Title run)
"You got Samoa Joe, James Gibson, and the weakest link on any team, Jay Lethal. He is wearing the green tights and what better color for him. Green. No, not like the green Im gonna make up at Titan."


"Baseball? Baseball is fake Bower!"


"Picture Perfect Moonsault?!? My moonsault is way better than that!"


"I punched a horse in the eye once, he was chewing on my hand, but thats a different story for a different time..."


(to Danny Doring at Death Before Dishonor)
"You're gonna need another six-pack of courage to step in the ring with me, pal"


Punk: You know, I wrestled Samoa Joe for a hour, I didn't get water breaks. I want water breaks next time.
Bower: Well, maybe we'll book you and Samoa Joe in a two-out-of-three falls match.
Punk: I want water breaks and a fruit plate next time.


"I gotta cancel off the All Japan show. And you know, like it's my dream to wrestle Kojima.............KOJIMA! KOJIMA! LARIAT!.......I totally got you, you thought Homicide was canceling! Kojima! And Gabe's not even listening at this point."


"I'm a douche and I don't care about the fans no matter how much they love me."

(Punk and BJ are arguing and Punk leaves the ring saying)
"Wow, somebodies juices are flowing! And that's a steroid joke for those who don't get it."


(about the New Japan Dojo in LA)
"Well it's almost like being in Japan, they have a rice-cooker there."


10 year old kid in the front row - "I Hate CM Punk"
(10 seconds later)
CM Punk - "I hope your parents DIE"


"Wha...he's tea-bagging Low Ki!!!"


"..Cause I think it be great if my best friend got beat up by Chuck Iiddell"


"And I think 'somebody's getting thrown through a window, this is great.'"


"All your heroes are dead! I killed them!"


"When I think of all the times I beat BJ Whitmer, man, that sure was a lot of times."


"The internet? I'm huge on the internet!"


(About Icarus)
"That woman has no ****!"


Punk: Joe take Necro to the parking lot, and I will run the son-of-a-bitch over.
Kingston: I bet you he'll kick out after that too.
Punk: He kicks at 2, I will drive straight right the ocean.


(after a really long sentance by Bower)
"Good Lord, Bower...How am I supposed to respond to ANYTHING you just said I think that was the longest run-on sentence in the history of mankind! Did you even take a breath that whole time?!? Jeez!"


(about Dunn and Marcos, the Ring Crew Express)
"...all those Special K kids look the same."


"Keep drinking I want you to die!!"


"nananaana
NANANAANA
HEYHEYHEY
You're an idiot."


"Who wants to make snow angels?!?"
(jumps in snow, makes snow angels)
"Oh My God this is cold....okay, everyone go the smurf home!"


"You guys ever Ghost-Hunted in Hawaii? No? Well, I have this fat friend...I shouldn't say fat, that might offend him...but he's Samoan and claims to have seen ghosts."


"Do you know what it's like going through life being better than everybody? It's hard."


Punk:"He put his foot on the ropes! What a cheap way out."
Prazak:"Are you kidding?! You do that all the time!"
Punk:"What? Name fifteen."


During Justin Credible hitting multiple suplexes.
Punk(in The Count from Sesame Street voice)"Ahwon!Ahtoo!Ahtwee!Ahfo!Ahfive!Ahsix!Ahseve n...Seh-ven soo-plexes,auh-auh-auh!"


"Gibson consulting with Joe for how to take on Ki which I'm sure is ridiculous. 'Hey, let him kick you in the head a bunch of times, that beat me once!'"


Ian: "You will see CM Punk take on..."
CM Punk: "No whammy, no whammy, no whammy..."
Ian: "The American Dragon Bryan Danielson!"
CM Punk: "Damn, that's a f****ng whammy!"
AJ Styles: That's quite a whammy
CM Punk: I quit


On Alex Shelley: "If his eyes were any closer together, he'd be a cyclops."


"His teeth are so bad his tongue looks like it's in prison."


Styles-"It says no Judo throws or INSTEP Kicks, What the Hells an instep?"
Punk-"Aren't they that boy band?"
Styles-"No your thinkin of NSYNC"
Punk- *grinning* FUNNY you'd know that AJ"


"So no judo thrusts? Does it say anything about giant swinging guys into the ref?"


"This is how diseases are usually spread. Someone spits on a guy, somebody has sex with a chimp. Next thing you know . . . AIDS."


"Hey, I'm kind of a big deal"


"How do you powerslam someone on their forehead?"


"You can't go the distance. This isn't a 10-round system!"


Prazak: Darin Corbin is from MPW in Minnesota. An outfit which recently folded... produced such stars as Arik Cannon...
(somewhat long pause)
CM Punk: Is that it?
Prazak: Yeah.


Punk: That Rain... I'm gonna punch her right in the uterus.
Prazak: No, You are not. There's no mixing in IWA. You are banned from the women's locker room.
Punk: (in an "Apu" voice) I AM BANNED FROM THE WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOM. (switches back to his normal voice) We've barely got a men's locker room, where's the women's locker room at?


Prazak: Mickie is the IWA Women's champion but is not in possession of the actual title belt, which is owned by Ed Schuman.
Punk: Ed Schuman is the Women's Champion?
Prazak: No he owns the belt, he just refuses to recognize Mickie as Champion.
Punk: I refuse to recognize Mickie as... as anything.


Punk: Dave, what are we doing here?
Prazak: Commentary.
Punk: Oh, yeah.

Punk: I rode down here with Rain today... Hey Dave, do you know what a "nooner" is?

fan: "see you on Velocity"
Punk: "yeah, and you'll be watching it"
fan: No i won't
Punk: Well I watch it.

"Jack Evans one day will win the Flippy McGillaculty Champion"

Prazak: "MY GOD, THE ROTTWEILERS ARE GOING TO KILL SAMOA JOE, SOMEBODY HELP HIM! PUNK GO DO SOMETHING!"
Punk: ".........You want ME to go out there right now"


"You people enjoy being puppets, don't you?"
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Some Live Journal stuff

"F*** you Joboo, you mean to tell me Jesus Chirst can't hit a curve ball?"


"If it doesn't kill you, use it and kill somebody else..."


On top of that, i'm the "memphis" in the "memphis-strongstyle" world of the FIP.


I tell him no wizards tonight. No trolls, no spooky witches, and no huge moves. I'm MEMPHIS tonight.


Somebody better throw some streamers for that hillbilly


I want a shirt that just says "f*** you" on it, and I want to wear it while walking through airports all day. There's no such thing as a bad word, just bad intentions.


There's a very large cemetary near by that I think i'm going to spend some time in soon. Cardio in the cemetary! Nothin' can beat it.


"If hell is to roam, then i've got hell to pave..."


Minoru Suzuki is my hero, i'm going to steal his hair.


I'm going to no sell your mother giving birth to you.


I think it's hilarious that there's a lot of idiots out there that think pulling the tights is "sports entertainment". Go watch baseball, trolls....


P.S...Rodderick Strong wears pink socks when he wrestles.


Remember kids, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I'm the strongest mother f****r on the planet.


Yet i'm still fixin' to take over the world. Because it's mine god damnit.


F*** you, it's my birthday.

----------------------------
Dear New Jersey,

F*** off.

Tenderly, I remain

XpunkX

P.S. Hey Mapquest, go f*** yourself.
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To clear some rumors up:

1.)Yes, my elbow is f****d.
2.)No, that wasn't my four month old child with the Misfits onezie on that I was playing with at the show.
3.)Yes, unfortuanately we did somehow manage to lose Nosawa Saturday night. If you've seen him, please let us know. DO NOT APPROACH HIM
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Jimmy Rave is going bald.
Bill Behrens is a sonofacomplain and/or rude female.
And I, soon to be the leader of the world, am better than you.
Go play in traffic.
Also, R.I.P Sterling James Keenans girlfriends Iguana.


Did I mention I got attacked by cats?


I no longer like Brodie Armstrong, for she is a ____/whore/tramp.


Until tomorrow....
...go f*** yourself.


Unless you are a drug dealer or a hooker, then, just post all over message boards, and I will further ignore you.


Bobb Sapp ice cream sammich: 120 yen
Dirty Philly hookers: 130 yen
Debuting at Korakuen hall, with three CM Punk signs in the crowd...
Priceless.


Korean BBQ 1500 yen
Zero One Low Ki shirt 3000 Yen
Offended at being called a hooker, yet willingly gang banged by some odd hundreds of men...
COMPLETELY STUPID.


My name is CM Punk, and im at Kinkos.....(in japan!)


i'm sitting in my apartment eating tacos and realizing what an introvert I am.


I've lived in my car. I've slept on floors. I've rambled on in my commentaries making no sense at all.....er....yeah...like just now.
I'm not sure why i'm even saying any of this.
Maybe it's because i'm so f*****g tired.
Maybe it's because i'm greatful.
Maybe it's just because i'm f*****g crazy.
Maybe I should just go to bed....after all, I gotta wrestle tomorrow....


Oh, and if you're the fat kid that woke me up on flight 2053 today, I will clothesline your guts, you pig.


I despise everything, including you. Except if you're Samoa Joe.

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Optimax said:

"The internet? I'm huge on the internet!"

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Kerrby said:

That's one angry man . Isn't he religious or something and he can't swear or drink beer?

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Optimax said:

10 year old kid in the front row - "I Hate CM Punk"
(10 seconds later)
CM Punk - "I hope your parents DIE"

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Rick18 said:

That is utterly awesome.

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Prazak: Darin Corbin is from MPW in Minnesota. An outfit which recently folded... produced such stars as Arik Cannon...
(somewhat long pause)
CM Punk: Is that it?
Prazak: Yeah.

Punk: You know, I wrestled Samoa Joe for a hour, I didn't get water breaks. I want water breaks next time.
Bower: Well, maybe we'll book you and Samoa Joe in a two-out-of-three falls match.
Punk: I want water breaks and a fruit plate next time.

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Optimax said:

yeah that go me going. so ddi these:



This man must turn heel and be given free reign on the Mic

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Optimax said:

yeah that go me going. so ddi these:



This man must turn heel and be given free reign on the Mic

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Optimax said:

"Yes, I wanted to win! I wanted the belt! I'm a belt mark! I want to sleep with it! I want to wear that and nothing else to church on Sunday!"

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