Roast 2014 Comical commentary thread

[Bumpswithagrin]

Bruce does enjoy taking the piss out of his critics
I don't mind him, he doesn't let bias get in the way, and is entertaining
He actually adds something to the telecast

Bruce is cringe worthy at times but at least he is not a complete buffoon like BT.

 

[Adelaide Hawk]

This one isn't about AFL, nor is it a recent comment, but I always laugh to myself whenever I think of it. If you know the commentator involved, it's even funnier.

KG Cunnningham (5AA) was interviewing Adelaide 36ers basketballer Mark Davis early in his career. KG asked him how he'd settled into living in Australia. Davis said, "I like living in Adelaide, but I have to admit I miss seeing all my brothers in the streets".

KG says, "Yes, that would be the hardest part, leaving your family behind". There was a long silence before David Hookes explained to KG what he meant by the term "brothers".

 

[Guerrahappyteam]

Darcy was going on about Geelong' s defensive structures and how they never leave space in their defensive 50. Then someone finds Jamie Elliott all by himself. Darcy rationalises that the kick was a fluke.

Love these threads.

Darcy was on good form last night. At one stage said: "Joel Selwood is one of the most honest players in the AFL".

 

[Hawkinspired]

Yes, that's the early clubhouse leader for mine. Just so many things wrong on so many levels.

wallyt99 who said that rubbish? If we weren't the better team that day I'd like at least half a dozen reasons why.

Agree. The Hannath and Hale came close though...

Bruce 'Hannath and Hale, gee that rolled off the tongue pretty well, Hannath and Hale. Could be a series I reckon, a British sort of detective series'

Dennis 'Maybe, but you wouldn't sell many tickets to a foot race'

 

[moginie]

Agree. The Hannath and Hale came close though...

Bruce 'Hannath and Hale, gee that rolled off the tongue pretty well, Hannath and Hale. Could be a series I reckon, a British sort of detective series'

Dennis 'Maybe, but you wouldn't sell many tickets to a foot race'

That was, in fact, quite funny. Quick quip Cometti.

 

[Adelaide Hawk]

Love these threads.

Darcy was on good form last night. At one stage said: "Joel Selwood is one of the most honest players in the AFL".

Was he sober when he said it?

 

[SHAKESPEARE]

Love these threads.

Darcy was on good form last night. At one stage said: "Joel Selwood is one of the most honest players in the AFL".

Wrong. He said the most honest. That stood out like dogs balls

 

[Hodginator]

7 minutes remaining in the Bombers v Blues game and Daniher snags his first. Tim Watson: "He's away now".

Only 4 quarters too late Watto.

 

[Bumpswithagrin]

Did anyone else hear Bruce say to Nick Riewoldt in the post match tonight, "Jack, your cousin, blah blah blah...". Yep, think Nick knows Jack's his cousin Bruce.

 

[HawkBurger]

Bruce has been having a bit of a dig at the rest of his commentary team, lately.
He was rubbing the 08 grand final into Harley's wound recently. (I think he did it a few times.)
Tonight he was using the "centimetre perfect" phrase.

Paraphrasing:
Bruce: "The phrase sums it up well."
Dennis: "It's an old one, though."
Bruce: "Yes, but a good one."

Nice work, Bruce - especially the Tom "I wish Hawks fans would stop mentioning '08" Harley stuff.

 

[specq]

Lord help me, I watched enough of the Melbourne v GWS game to hear Spud say (in response to a Melbourne player getting pinged for holding the ball after a tackle where Adam Treloar was laying on him):

It should have been a bounce, the only thing he could have done then is move his eyelids a bit more.

 

[badgrill]

Dennis - something like "25 of these Bombers would fit into any side in the league". Really? I must've heard that wrong coz I'd struggle to fit 5 into the current Hawks side. And those 5 would probs be banned by the end of the year anyway.

 

[Hungry Hawk]

During the goal of the year on friday night Bruce rolled out this filth in regards to Rioli. "He will caress it down someones throat", in an excited voice, "and he does, ohhhhhhh".

Have a listen for yourself.

http://www.hawthornfc.com.au/video/2014-04-04/rnd3-team-goal-of-the-year

He is a filthy man.

 

[eldorado]

I've normally resisted commenting on Bruce's Cyril-inspired outbursts...but that one was beyond the pale. Pee Wee Herman in a cinema springs to mind...

 

[Hawkk]

Apparently Fremantle had 7 more scoring shots than us in the GF, well at least according to Gerard Healy that is...

 

[MrPremiership]

Apparently Fremantle had 7 more scoring shots than us in the GF, well at least according to Gerard Healy that is...

yeah the genius was counting those shots that didn't score.....but kind of defeats the purpose of a "scoring" shot doesn't it?

 

[SNAITHY]

Harley in the third ( I think) of the Bombers game, at centre bounce where we have some kids in, craps on about how we usually rely on Hodge, Mitchell and Sewell in the guts when things get tough but 'they can't rely on them tonight, they're not there'. No sh1t Tom, but do you have to sound so excited about it?????

Not so much commentary gold, but it just really p1ssed me off. I hate him. Oh Tom, if you are reading, come round 5 those three boys should be all back in the centre, together again.

And Brucey, keep your homo ravings and connotations to yourself (and the G.F.C) please. I'm sure most people found it funny once but even the homos would be getting jack of it, so to speak. Enough please. Come on Browndog, your commentary career can't come soon enough.

 

[Davo23]

And Brucey, keep your homo ravings and connotations to yourself (and the G.F.C) please. I'm sure most people found it funny once but even the homos would be getting jack of it, so to speak. Enough please. Come on Browndog, your commentary career can't come soon enough.

Yes, I don't like homos dip either, but the tzatziki and the eggplant dip are damn good.

Nothing like a good bugger with the lot, though.

 

[MrPremiership]

Yes, I don't like homos dip either, but the tzatziki and the eggplant dip are damn good.

Nothing like a good bugger with the lot, though.

Must have beetroot. Never a good burger without beetroot

 

[crazywildhorse]

How good was Harley when he said the Bombers were better coached than last year.

 

[Hodge is God]

I can't even comprehend how pathetic the commentary was last night. Actually ******* wow.

My favourites were:

"Lingy Lingy Lingydingaling"

"And he has a snifter there!"

"The Hawks have a dearth of depth (after going on about our amazing depth)"

There are more but the Saturday night commentary team for Seven is that woeful. I just don't know how they are paying these guys top dollar for the 'expert' commentary.

 

[Cleavy]

yeah, this vaudeville crap doesn't make for good tv. You can get away with it more on the radio.

 

[Bosk]

Last night just made me giggle when I heard BT calling Chris Langford something along the lines of a "very good defender" and then later on labeling Rocket Carter "a legend".


Gee folks I sure am miffed we never traded the ol' hack Langers for that dashing champion Carter - just think how may wins it cost us!

 

[brew]

"3 in a row for the Suns!"

WTF?

 

[Whistling Hawk]

BT last night when Roughy snapped the goal in the first quarter:

"And now Roughead picks up, spins onto his favoured left and ... He just does that like a hot meal"

Help me out... I don't know what he means?