Roast Australian Politics Stuffing Up Australia - Treasurer Joe Hockey Pg26

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Tempest said:
Very well said, and with that being said, what's your opinion cigar-man AKA Joe Hockey?
If Liberal stay in power, does he stay or does he go?
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He's in a bit of trouble as treasurer. Since last years terrible budget his position is basically dependent on Abbott's political survival. Having said that, even if Abbott gets re-elected I think there will be a pretty big push to move him on anyway. The right wingers in the party appear appear to want Scott Morrison to be the next leader and one way of grooming him for that is by giving him the second most important job as treasurer.
 

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Put the heat on the most marginal to deflect from delivering misery on penalty rates, cuts.

Cynical and evil c*nts.
 
Maggie5 said:
During a week when it should have been all about Shorten and unions, up comes brownie and her helicopter ride.
What a joke Abbott's dad's army and mum is. Couldn't believe she is nearly 73, should have been put out to pasture years ago.
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and She just look’s Evil.

Labor and Liberal are both Weak as Water
 
They're both ****ed it's a sad state of affairs.

Personally I've voted ALP at most elections, however Bill is just a chameleon, he doesn't know who he is, he's anyone you want him to be. I don't buy it, I don't like him, if Plibersek or Bowen were in charge, different story, but can't stomach a phony Bill.

As for Abbott he's stuck in the stone age, he was going to stop climate change(not that he believes in it) by importing dirt... that was the big plan at least prior to the election.

It's embarrassing to have this lizard king as our national representative, at least the rest of the world is starting to see him for what he is, a narrow minded fool, who is wound up so tight he might just explode one day.

I'm not looking forward to voting next election if the leader and vision of both parties remains as it is currently.
 
Perhaps I should run in the next election, don't know how many votes I'd get because my policies would include;

(a) Removal of all current taxes and levies, to be replaced by a 25% GST - no deductions, no exemptions, everyone pays 25% extra on what they spend.
(b) To receive a Centrelink benefit you will either have to work in some capacity or be totally and permanently disabled.
(c) There would be no family allowance of any sort - why should the country pay 16 years of benefits for your 16 seconds of bliss? If you can afford to breed, you can afford to raise your progeny.
(d) The soon to be empty Ford and Holden plants would be acquired by my Government and begin producing a 4 seat electric car. Once this car is ready for full scale production, all fossil fuel based forms of transport will be required to pay an annual tax of $2000 per ton/10,000 km traveled.
(e) All newly constructed habitable structures will be required to be built to extremely high energy saving standards - R7 minimum. Older structures will have to be upgraded by the purchaser to the R7 standard within 6 months of settlement.
(f) 5 nuclear power plants will be constructed to provide power to Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth.
(g) Customs, Immigration , Border protection et al will be dissolved and a new organisation will be formed encompassing all aspects of this role.
(h) All state Police services shall be formed into 1 National Police Force - all laws will be common across the nation.
(i) State health departments will be merged into a National organisation.
(j) Education - see above, plus no religious education would be allowed in any school - public or private.
(k) Smoking will be banned, and all possible support will be given to aid current smokers to quit, from patches, gum etc to a 3 month paid "quit camp" in the Simpson desert. (I'm a smoker)
(l) Compulsory superannuation at a rate of 10% of your salary. Optional payment of up to 50%
(m) Cyclists above the age of 16 will be licenced and their bikes registered. A minimum of 30% of moneys spent on roads will be required to be invested in cycling infrastructure. Cyclists below the age of 16 will be restricted to suburban streets and be required to wear a helmet. Over 16, the helmet is optional, on the proviso that the cyclist has adequate insurance coverage to cover their life as a vegetable. If not and they have an accident, then they get put down. (Yes, I'm a cyclist)
(n) A national railway network will be created to provide bulk transport between major cities in an effort to reduce the number of heavy vehicles on the road.
(o) There will be 5 speed limits on the road 40, 60, 80, 110 and 140. All speed limit signs will be electronic and lowered/raised according to conditions.
(p) Public servant wages will be directly linked to Politicians pay rises. Whilst I feel that the PM and co should be payed a very healthy wage, in times of austerity they shouldn't be getting 20 + % raises (PM only got a 160% effective raise - poor Bastard) when they ask those they employ to lose conditions and accept a lower hourly rate.
(q) There will be 2 levels of government, Federal and local.
(r) Marriage will revert to it's original meaning - a carpentry or masonry joint. Civil unions will replace our current marriages, and will be restricted to a maximum of 3 willing people and all must be over the age of 21.
(s) Insurance companies will be disbanded and their evil minions put to work building infrastructure for the nation. The Commonwealth will insure all citizens to a reasonable level, those that require a higher level of coverage will pay the Treasury an appropriate sum per annum.
(t) There will no longer be "illegal immigrants" - ALL immigrants shall be required to reside in an education facility until they can demonstrate an ability to integrate successfully into our society. Test will include;
(a) Ability to speak Australian english
(b) Demonstrated understanding of the Australian political system and constitution
(c) the ability to spell successful

There is more, but I think I've hit my limit for the moment:)

Smokey
 
shizzle said:
They're both stuffed it's a sad state of affairs.

Personally I've voted ALP at most elections, however Bill is just a chameleon, he doesn't know who he is, he's anyone you want him to be. I don't buy it, I don't like him, if Plibersek or Bowen were in charge, different story, but can't stomach a phony Bill.

As for Abbott he's stuck in the stone age, he was going to stop climate change(not that he believes in it) by importing dirt... that was the big plan at least prior to the election.

It's embarrassing to have this lizard king as our national representative, at least the rest of the world is starting to see him for what he is, a narrow minded fool, who is wound up so tight he might just explode one day.

I'm not looking forward to voting next election if the leader and vision of both parties remains as it is currently.
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You can get your Named Ticked off but you don’t have to vote. As there is no one worth Voting for
 
NT.Thunder said:
For those that like QandA, should be an interesting show tonight with Jacqui Lambie on - Could rival Zaky Mallah for stupid things said on TV!
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I would not even watch that and I don’t watch that show.

She will say some real Idiotic stuff I reckon though
 

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shizzle said:
I agree, I'm not sure if he's drunk, high, or both in that video. I wonder if Donald Trump got his inspiration from Clive :p
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Looks like he is on something
 
Smokeyr67 said:
Perhaps I should run in the next election, don't know how many votes I'd get because my policies would include;

(a) Removal of all current taxes and levies, to be replaced by a 25% GST - no deductions, no exemptions, everyone pays 25% extra on what they spend.
(b) To receive a Centrelink benefit you will either have to work in some capacity or be totally and permanently disabled.
(c) There would be no family allowance of any sort - why should the country pay 16 years of benefits for your 16 seconds of bliss? If you can afford to breed, you can afford to raise your progeny.
(d) The soon to be empty Ford and Holden plants would be acquired by my Government and begin producing a 4 seat electric car. Once this car is ready for full scale production, all fossil fuel based forms of transport will be required to pay an annual tax of $2000 per ton/10,000 km traveled.
(e) All newly constructed habitable structures will be required to be built to extremely high energy saving standards - R7 minimum. Older structures will have to be upgraded by the purchaser to the R7 standard within 6 months of settlement.
(f) 5 nuclear power plants will be constructed to provide power to Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth.
(g) Customs, Immigration , Border protection et al will be dissolved and a new organisation will be formed encompassing all aspects of this role.
(h) All state Police services shall be formed into 1 National Police Force - all laws will be common across the nation.
(i) State health departments will be merged into a National organisation.
(j) Education - see above, plus no religious education would be allowed in any school - public or private.
(k) Smoking will be banned, and all possible support will be given to aid current smokers to quit, from patches, gum etc to a 3 month paid "quit camp" in the Simpson desert. (I'm a smoker)
(l) Compulsory superannuation at a rate of 10% of your salary. Optional payment of up to 50%
(m) Cyclists above the age of 16 will be licenced and their bikes registered. A minimum of 30% of moneys spent on roads will be required to be invested in cycling infrastructure. Cyclists below the age of 16 will be restricted to suburban streets and be required to wear a helmet. Over 16, the helmet is optional, on the proviso that the cyclist has adequate insurance coverage to cover their life as a vegetable. If not and they have an accident, then they get put down. (Yes, I'm a cyclist)
(n) A national railway network will be created to provide bulk transport between major cities in an effort to reduce the number of heavy vehicles on the road.
(o) There will be 5 speed limits on the road 40, 60, 80, 110 and 140. All speed limit signs will be electronic and lowered/raised according to conditions.
(p) Public servant wages will be directly linked to Politicians pay rises. Whilst I feel that the PM and co should be payed a very healthy wage, in times of austerity they shouldn't be getting 20 + % raises (PM only got a 160% effective raise - poor Bastard) when they ask those they employ to lose conditions and accept a lower hourly rate.
(q) There will be 2 levels of government, Federal and local.
(r) Marriage will revert to it's original meaning - a carpentry or masonry joint. Civil unions will replace our current marriages, and will be restricted to a maximum of 3 willing people and all must be over the age of 21.
(s) Insurance companies will be disbanded and their evil minions put to work building infrastructure for the nation. The Commonwealth will insure all citizens to a reasonable level, those that require a higher level of coverage will pay the Treasury an appropriate sum per annum.
(t) There will no longer be "illegal immigrants" - ALL immigrants shall be required to reside in an education facility until they can demonstrate an ability to integrate successfully into our society. Test will include;
(a) Ability to speak Australian english
(b) Demonstrated understanding of the Australian political system and constitution
(c) the ability to spell successful

There is more, but I think I've hit my limit for the moment:)

Smokey
Click to expand...

Yeah, no.

I'll vote for you if you delete everything and just go ahead with the Speed Limit changes. I was driving on the West Gate yesterday, on a single stretch, including the bridge, before hitting the Ring Road, the speed limit went - 80, 70, 40, 80, 100, 40, 100.

The entire management of VicRoads needs to be sacked!

But that's more a Victorian issue, not a federal, so it doesn't apply to federal politics.
 
"The Speaker's resignation reflects a government that is in chaos. The Govt has lost its way, lost its majority and now lost its speaker."

Tony Abbott
 
Smokeyr67 said:
Perhaps I should run in the next election, don't know how many votes I'd get because my policies would include;

(a) Removal of all current taxes and levies, to be replaced by a 25% GST - no deductions, no exemptions, everyone pays 25% extra on what they spend.
(b) To receive a Centrelink benefit you will either have to work in some capacity or be totally and permanently disabled.
(c) There would be no family allowance of any sort - why should the country pay 16 years of benefits for your 16 seconds of bliss? If you can afford to breed, you can afford to raise your progeny.
(d) The soon to be empty Ford and Holden plants would be acquired by my Government and begin producing a 4 seat electric car. Once this car is ready for full scale production, all fossil fuel based forms of transport will be required to pay an annual tax of $2000 per ton/10,000 km traveled.
(e) All newly constructed habitable structures will be required to be built to extremely high energy saving standards - R7 minimum. Older structures will have to be upgraded by the purchaser to the R7 standard within 6 months of settlement.
(f) 5 nuclear power plants will be constructed to provide power to Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth.
(g) Customs, Immigration , Border protection et al will be dissolved and a new organisation will be formed encompassing all aspects of this role.
(h) All state Police services shall be formed into 1 National Police Force - all laws will be common across the nation.
(i) State health departments will be merged into a National organisation.
(j) Education - see above, plus no religious education would be allowed in any school - public or private.
(k) Smoking will be banned, and all possible support will be given to aid current smokers to quit, from patches, gum etc to a 3 month paid "quit camp" in the Simpson desert. (I'm a smoker)
(l) Compulsory superannuation at a rate of 10% of your salary. Optional payment of up to 50%
(m) Cyclists above the age of 16 will be licenced and their bikes registered. A minimum of 30% of moneys spent on roads will be required to be invested in cycling infrastructure. Cyclists below the age of 16 will be restricted to suburban streets and be required to wear a helmet. Over 16, the helmet is optional, on the proviso that the cyclist has adequate insurance coverage to cover their life as a vegetable. If not and they have an accident, then they get put
down. (Yes, I'm a cyclist)
(n) A national railway network will be created to provide bulk transport between major cities in an effort to reduce the number of heavy vehicles on the road.
(o) There will be 5 speed limits on the road 40, 60, 80, 110 and 140. All speed limit signs will be electronic and lowered/raised according to conditions.
(p) Public servant wages will be directly linked to Politicians pay rises. Whilst I feel that the PM and co should be payed a very healthy wage, in times of austerity they shouldn't be getting 20 + % raises (PM only got a 160% effective raise - poor Bastard) when they ask those they employ to lose conditions and accept a lower hourly rate.
(q) There will be 2 levels of government, Federal and local.
(r) Marriage will revert to it's original meaning - a carpentry or masonry joint. Civil unions will replace our current marriages, and will be restricted to a maximum of 3 willing people and all must be over the age of 21.
(s) Insurance companies will be disbanded and their evil minions put to work building infrastructure for the nation. The Commonwealth will insure all citizens to a reasonable level, those that require a higher level of coverage will pay the Treasury an appropriate sum per annum.
(t) There will no longer be "illegal immigrants" - ALL immigrants shall be required to reside in an education facility until they can demonstrate an ability to integrate successfully into our society. Test will include;
(a) Ability to speak Australian english
(b) Demonstrated understanding of the Australian political system and constitution
(c) the ability to spell successful

There is more, but I think I've hit my limit for the moment:)

Smokey
Click to expand...
There is a good game out there called Democracy. Get it on steam and see how your policies work out. I got killed by the far right after a few years...

On a serious note.
g) there is a difference between importing goods and people. No way can they be seen separate. No cost effectiveness there
j) religious education should be allowed as long as deals with all religions. Not that I am in favor of religion, I am utterly completely atheist but I dread the idea that young minds only hear the 'truth' from their local preacher/imam or whatever.
k) Funds for quitting should come out of the tax we put on cigarettes and the like. ( ex-smoker )
m) what the??? I went out on my bike on the roads of Holland since I was 8. No helmet , no accidents and I never felt unsafe.
Try making a decent driving test that handle situations with bicycles. People here have no road sense when it comes to sharing the road. Tradies with too much testorone. All up in arms with their unions on their own 'unsafe workplaces' but watch them in their 1 tonne pickup and bully other road users.
Some cyclists are complete idiots too and think they are more special then any other vehicle on the road.
I abuse an equal amount of drivers and cyclists on the road.
t) as an immigrant myself, that is so funny... Illegal immigrants will always be there.
Demonstrate an ability?? It takes roughly 1-2 years before you feel at home in a new country. And being packed together in some camp ? Yep that will boosts the quality of your immigrants. In the end only the desperate will come and tough it out.
Good way to kill off your economy by stocking up the less educated. The smart people will find another country where they are made more welcome.
And see how those immigrants go after 5-10-15 years and how much Australian they are then.
a)Define Strayan? English would be a start, at least I can talk to my Chinese neighbor without having to use her son as an interpreter.
b)Lack of knowledge of the political system is the least of the immigration problems. Besides, doesn't matter who you vote for, you end up with a politician.
If the politicians would get an understanding of immigration policies that are being abused by the Australians themselves, now that would be a good idea. No more 457 , no meaningless Jobs In Demand and no way should you be allowed to buy yourself into the country.
c)If only all Australians could spell too
 
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