Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories

Status
Not open for further replies.
went to a relatives 21st tonight. i'd figure it as a quiet one, not so. Will edit tomorrow morning because at the moment I can't quite express the details/complexities and interconnectedness of the awkward moments
 

Stratton_Gun

Brownlow Medallist
Sep 4, 2010
17,944
15,737
Melbourne
AFL Club
Hawthorn
Other Teams
Manchester United
I don't regularly check this thread so it's in reference to a few pages ago..

What a surprise that StrattonGun is a whorephobic dill
Forever sounds like he's 21 going on 15
tpwmJ.png
 
May 14, 2007
10,558
7,113
Perth
AFL Club
Fremantle
Other Teams
Juventus, Arsenal, OKC, Avalanche
So I had a friend tell me this ridiculous story that I absolutely lost it:

He was at a party and there was this girl who was keen on his mate. His mate wasn't keen at all and she got rejected by him. So she apparently was so upset that she attempted to cut her wrists. My mate walked in and found her just as she was doing it and kinda stopped her. She cut herself but it was deep enough to be bleeding but not pouring out. He tried to get her to go to hospital but she wouldn't and he bandaged her up. She wanted to go to the park to talk about things so he went with her. As he was comforting her, she started to go down on him and give him a blowjob. With her wrists still bleeding.

I absolutely lost it in the most uncomfortable way imaginable.
 
So I had a friend tell me this ridiculous story that I absolutely lost it:

He was at a party and there was this girl who was keen on his mate. His mate wasn't keen at all and she got rejected by him. So she apparently was so upset that she attempted to cut her wrists. My mate walked in and found her just as she was doing it and kinda stopped her. She cut herself but it was deep enough to be bleeding but not pouring out. He tried to get her to go to hospital but she wouldn't and he bandaged her up. She wanted to go to the park to talk about things so he went with her. As he was comforting her, she started to go down on him and give him a blowjob. With her wrists still bleeding.

I absolutely lost it in the most uncomfortable way imaginable.
Wife material. :drunk:
 
Sep 9, 2011
3,935
3,260
Melbourne
AFL Club
Essendon
Other Teams
Swansea, Chargers,SF Giants, Bruins
Okay, I am back. I am back to tell you a tale of idiocy. Star: Myself.

So, I'm out Friday night, just enjoying life. Went out with Uni Friend - Male (UM), Uni Friend Female and her 2 friends. Now, we are drinking, dancing and all around having a good time. It hits 12.30 and Uni Friend Female and her 2 friends head off. Lame.
Anyway, so it is just me and UM continuing to drink and dance and enjoy ourselves. About 30-45 minutes later a group of 3 girls and 1 guy walk over to us and one girl starts chatting to my mate, so I'm left talking to the other 2 girls, one of whom I saw watching me earlier (7/10, Mary) and her friend (8/10, Calypso). Now this other bloke with the girls was a good dude and tells me "You should have a crack at Calypso". But a minute later they have gone outside, so me and my mate go and grab a couple of drinks and head outside as well, and we continue talking to them.
Now, they are saying they have to go, it's about 2am by this point. Mate's phone was flat, so I gave her his number from mine (Ultimate Wingman). Now, as she is leaving Mary says to me "So... I guess I will never see you again" to which I just reply "I guess not... Catchya".

Only really occurred to me a little while later that I should have got her number.
 
Nov 28, 2011
19,312
33,376
Melbourne
AFL Club
Adelaide
Other Teams
LIVFC
As a recent arriver back to the world of singledom, I've tried a bit of a different approach on my foray back into the world, with different rates of success..

I decided to be upfront -

Was talking to a woman who has a desk in the studio where I am at, somehow the topic of conversation turned to relationships and the like, and she said how she hadn't been with anyone for 6 months. "Well," I said "Why don't we go sort that out?" - A cheeky grin and a shrug of the shoulders. She laughed and said "No" -

Strike 1

Couple of days later ended up at Yah Yahs at 4am in the morning with my mate and despite dancing up a storm all night at the various establishments I'd been at (I was on fire, as far as I was concerned) I hadn't really received any attention from any woman at all. It was a little dissapointing. Oh well, I thought. I'm here with my mate, who in all honesty I've had a bit of a man-crush on for as long as I've known him, but never been in a situation to see if that would go anywhere. Well, we're both smashed, we're both dancing, so I thought I'd try to upfront thing again - "Hey.. do you want to make out...?' ---- He pretty much responded the same as the situation 1... "Haha.. no, I don't think that would be good idea"

Strike 2

Just on the weekend there was a party at my house and a heap of people who I didn't know where there. Ended up having a fairly lengthy conversation with a very cute woman for quite a while and eventually I decided to try the direct approach a third time. "Hey, I think you're very attractive...." - She got quite embarrassed and said something to the affect of 'being shy' - so I took that as a cue and leaned in for the smooch. Worked very nicely, had a nice makeout session and I guess if we're continuing the baseball theme, I grounded out a single to first base. Got her number and we'll see what happens.


I guess it's the reverse Meatloaf - One out of Three is ok -
 

Colin D'Cops

Brownlow Medallist
10k Posts Essendon Player Sponsor 2011
Nov 24, 2007
13,156
949
AFL Club
Carlton
Strike 1

I'm here with my mate, who in all honesty I've had a bit of a man-crush on for as long as I've known him, but never been in a situation to see if that would go anywhere. Well, we're both smashed, we're both dancing, so I thought I'd try to upfront thing again - "Hey.. do you want to make out...?' ---- He pretty much responded the same as the situation 1... "Haha.. no, I don't think that would be good idea"
Loooookin' goood
Laurice_Deauxnim_Scratching_Head_1.gif
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back