Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories

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Stratton_Gun

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Misc have a similar thread. Loved this one

> at home with girl
> she decides to want to learn to do a hand stand
> she is wearing miniskirt
> wants my help
> she flips and i hold her legs
> out of fear I might see something she might not want me to see, i try hold legs together
> she forces legs apart
> this is what i see
0QOIP.png

> I get rock hard
> She just stays there...waiting for something
> I go " well...now you've learned hehe..."
> She lowers herself and walks away
 
I’ve had many a laugh over this thread and with the severe lack of stories in the last couple of weeks, I thought I might as well add a story or two of my own awkward flirting stories. I’ll never be able to compete with the stories of some on here (nate obviously comes to mind) or tell a story in the way pekay manages but here goes anyway.


The first I’ll share took place at a local bar/nightclub set-up in Broadbeach. It had been a long day/night after footy with several of the boys and much alcohol was consumed. The night drew on and I found myself getting really comfortable with a nice woman. Lets call her ‘Bec’ for all intents and purposes (6.5-7/10 and a 1 on the old binary). We really hit it off – dancing, kissing and what have you. Cut it short, it comes to the stage of the night where we decide to get out of there and decide to head to her apartment in Surfers. We go downstairs and eventually out on to the street when she realises her purse and thus keys to the apartment are with her friend still inside and she won’t answer her phone. I should add, it’s lockout at this point.


So, we’re just sitting out the front talking, passing time as you do when she decides she might grab some early morning Maccas just half way up the street. Sure enough, in the state I was in I was more than happy for the old ‘Maccas run’ at 3:30 in the morning after a long night. I get halfway there and manage to bump into a couple of mates. Being the old ‘hero’ who’s not all caught up over the woman to not have a yarn with some friends, I tell her to go up and meet her there in a couple. A short chat passes and I decide to head to Maccas only to see several security surrounding a group in Maccas. Yeah, seems like a standard night at Maccas in Broady! But then I see ‘Bec’ in the middle of it. Anyway, story has it some guy spat on her for little to no reason, she fired up and threw a punch/slap (I don’t blame her – terrible form on his behalf). I go over to see what has happened and speak to the security when she runs away hysterical.


Feeling wretched for the girl, I go searching to find her crying not far around corner. At this point in time the security have got the ‘spitter’ and a different guard has followed me to her. I start consoling her for a while when she decides to come with us back to the scene where the police are now with the ‘spitter’. This is where it all went so fast and so wrong in so many ways. The fact the spit was no longer evident on ‘Bec’ and the ‘spitter’ had blood traces on his nose, they started to question ‘Bec.’ In a distraught and somewhat drunk state ‘Bec’ was, she struggled fully recounting the events. Not soon after, when a female officer asks for her I.D (in which is with her friend inside) and doesn’t receive it, she arrests ‘Bec’ and chucks her in the back of a paddy wagon. I’m absolutely furious at this point, arguing ferociously with the pricks while she is being man-handled by the scum. It gets to the point where I’m on the verge of getting arrested too and the paddy wagon has gone – unknown to what station it’s going to. I then get the ultimatum to leave Broadbeach immediately or end up in a cell. Without even having the chance to wait and explain to her friend what has happened and where ‘Bec’ is, I’m chucked in a taxi to (likely) never see her again. I really hope she ended up ok and chased up the CCTV footage and followed up on this.


I’ll try to continue to add a couple more that have occurred to me over the years in the coming days. In the mean time, keep them coming AFS family.
 

RU486

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In Liverpool last night at Cream, had come almost exclusively to see Cosmic Gate and managed to get a front row spot right in front of their set. Whilst there setting up the chick next to me starts making small talk and turns out she is a massive Cosmic Gate fan as well. Whatever, we talk for abit then they start playing.

She turns to me during the set and says ‘Your gorgeous you know’. I’m like ok, thanks and continue dancing. She ends up saying ‘Your gorgeous’ to me about 4 more times, after the 3rd one there was a small pause and I said in the most unconvincing way possible ‘so are you’, then she’s like no I’m not, I have no idea what to do so just go back to dancing.

She then grabs me pulls me right next to her face and says ‘your accent is really hot’, being the socially awkward person I am I just say ‘Ok’ and disregard. She then grabs me and says ‘Ok I’m sorry I will stop talking to you now’.

I ended up replying something about it being hard to hear because the music was so loud, she then grabs me for a final time pulls me right up to her and our faces are like 2 inches apart and says for the last time ‘your gorgeous’. I just stood there, didn’t do anything for about 30 seconds then she just backs off and we go back to dancing.

Then about 10 minutes later some other dude comes up behind her and next thing you know there making out right next to me…

Great set though 10/10
 

kfc1

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In Liverpool last night at Cream, had come almost exclusively to see Cosmic Gate and managed to get a front row spot right in front of their set. Whilst there setting up the chick next to me starts making small talk and turns out she is a massive Cosmic Gate fan as well. Whatever, we talk for abit then they start playing.

She turns to me during the set and says ‘Your gorgeous you know’. I’m like ok, thanks and continue dancing. She ends up saying ‘Your gorgeous’ to me about 4 more times, after the 3rd one there was a small pause and I said in the most unconvincing way possible ‘so are you’, then she’s like no I’m not, I have no idea what to do so just go back to dancing.

She then grabs me pulls me right next to her face and says ‘your accent is really hot’, being the socially awkward person I am I just say ‘Ok’ and disregard. She then grabs me and says ‘Ok I’m sorry I will stop talking to you now’.

I ended up replying something about it being hard to hear because the music was so loud, she then grabs me for a final time pulls me right up to her and our faces are like 2 inches apart and says for the last time ‘your gorgeous’. I just stood there, didn’t do anything for about 30 seconds then she just backs off and we go back to dancing.

Then about 10 minutes later some other dude comes up behind her and next thing you know there making out right next to me…

Great set though 10/10

I'm not sure if she was keen
 

HugeJohnson

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In Liverpool last night at Cream, had come almost exclusively to see Cosmic Gate and managed to get a front row spot right in front of their set. Whilst there setting up the chick next to me starts making small talk and turns out she is a massive Cosmic Gate fan as well. Whatever, we talk for abit then they start playing.

She turns to me during the set and says ‘Your gorgeous you know’. I’m like ok, thanks and continue dancing. She ends up saying ‘Your gorgeous’ to me about 4 more times, after the 3rd one there was a small pause and I said in the most unconvincing way possible ‘so are you’, then she’s like no I’m not, I have no idea what to do so just go back to dancing.

She then grabs me pulls me right next to her face and says ‘your accent is really hot’, being the socially awkward person I am I just say ‘Ok’ and disregard. She then grabs me and says ‘Ok I’m sorry I will stop talking to you now’.

I ended up replying something about it being hard to hear because the music was so loud, she then grabs me for a final time pulls me right up to her and our faces are like 2 inches apart and says for the last time ‘your gorgeous’. I just stood there, didn’t do anything for about 30 seconds then she just backs off and we go back to dancing.

Then about 10 minutes later some other dude comes up behind her and next thing you know there making out right next to me…

Great set though 10/10
Should have asked her out to a meal at McDonald's.
 
Sep 11, 2006
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In Liverpool last night at Cream, had come almost exclusively to see Cosmic Gate and managed to get a front row spot right in front of their set. Whilst there setting up the chick next to me starts making small talk and turns out she is a massive Cosmic Gate fan as well. Whatever, we talk for abit then they start playing.

She turns to me during the set and says ‘Your gorgeous you know’. I’m like ok, thanks and continue dancing. She ends up saying ‘Your gorgeous’ to me about 4 more times, after the 3rd one there was a small pause and I said in the most unconvincing way possible ‘so are you’, then she’s like no I’m not, I have no idea what to do so just go back to dancing.

She then grabs me pulls me right next to her face and says ‘your accent is really hot’, being the socially awkward person I am I just say ‘Ok’ and disregard. She then grabs me and says ‘Ok I’m sorry I will stop talking to you now’.

I ended up replying something about it being hard to hear because the music was so loud, she then grabs me for a final time pulls me right up to her and our faces are like 2 inches apart and says for the last time ‘your gorgeous’. I just stood there, didn’t do anything for about 30 seconds then she just backs off and we go back to dancing.

Then about 10 minutes later some other dude comes up behind her and next thing you know there making out right next to me…

Great set though 10/10

Na, she clearly didn't want you to fcuk her mate.
 
I ended up replying something about it being hard to hear because the music was so loud, she then grabs me for a final time pulls me right up to her and our faces are like 2 inches apart and says for the last time ‘your gorgeous’. I just stood there, didn’t do anything for about 30 seconds then she just backs off and we go back to dancing.

Glad I'm not the only one who was this clueless/stupid.

Drinking up a house party, not really having a good time 'cause I don't know alot of these people. Need to use the John 'cause I've had about 5 in a row now. I find the hostess across the room and ask her where the toilet is.

Her 9/10 friend sitting next to her hears me and immediately grabs my hand and takes me to the bathroom. She closes the door behind us, grabs my chin, looks directly at me (she's like 5 inches away from my face) and says "you have really hot eyes".

I have dark brown eyes so I'm like "okaaaay".
I walk around her and lift the lid, getting ready to piss. I turn around and give her the "can you GTFO?" look while I start leaking. She has the most dumbfound look on her face as well.
 
Sep 9, 2011
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In Liverpool last night at Cream, had come almost exclusively to see Cosmic Gate and managed to get a front row spot right in front of their set. Whilst there setting up the chick next to me starts making small talk and turns out she is a massive Cosmic Gate fan as well. Whatever, we talk for abit then they start playing.

She turns to me during the set and says ‘Your gorgeous you know’. I’m like ok, thanks and continue dancing. She ends up saying ‘Your gorgeous’ to me about 4 more times, after the 3rd one there was a small pause and I said in the most unconvincing way possible ‘so are you’, then she’s like no I’m not, I have no idea what to do so just go back to dancing.

She then grabs me pulls me right next to her face and says ‘your accent is really hot’, being the socially awkward person I am I just say ‘Ok’ and disregard. She then grabs me and says ‘Ok I’m sorry I will stop talking to you now’.

I ended up replying something about it being hard to hear because the music was so loud, she then grabs me for a final time pulls me right up to her and our faces are like 2 inches apart and says for the last time ‘your gorgeous’. I just stood there, didn’t do anything for about 30 seconds then she just backs off and we go back to dancing.

Then about 10 minutes later some other dude comes up behind her and next thing you know there making out right next to me…

Great set though 10/10

Probably my favourite story yet. I have been chuckling all afternoon.
 

RU486

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Probably my favourite story yet. I have been chuckling all afternoon.

I've been raging hard out how pathetic I am when it comes to these things. The next day I went out and bought a copy of 'How to win friends and influence people', after that I will read 'The Game'.

I had a golden opportunity in Manchester last week to get a legit 9/10's number (have confirmed via FB stalking), but I couldn't get my phone out of my pocket. Completely serious, I had my passport in there as well so it was to packed, eventually she just said ok give me your number, ended up giving her the wrong number by accident lol as I had just bought the phone and couldn't remember it correctly.

Anyways I will be going to the UK's No. 1 student clubbing night tommorow (I'm a pretend student) so hopefully I can produce something, either for my benefit or your entertainment.
 

kfc1

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RU486 you could probably still make it work for you - just tell her you realised you gave her the wrong number so looked her up on facebook. Worth a shot.
 
Aug 5, 2004
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I’ve had many a laugh over this thread and with the severe lack of stories in the last couple of weeks, I thought I might as well add a story or two of my own awkward flirting stories. I’ll never be able to compete with the stories of some on here (nate obviously comes to mind) or tell a story in the way pekay manages but here goes anyway.

The first I’ll share took place at a local bar/nightclub set-up in Broadbeach. It had been a long day/night after footy with several of the boys and much alcohol was consumed. The night drew on and I found myself getting really comfortable with a nice woman. Lets call her ‘Bec’ for all intents and purposes (6.5-7/10 and a 1 on the old binary). We really hit it off – dancing, kissing and what have you. Cut it short, it comes to the stage of the night where we decide to get out of there and decide to head to her apartment in Surfers. We go downstairs and eventually out on to the street when she realises her purse and thus keys to the apartment are with her friend still inside and she won’t answer her phone. I should add, it’s lockout at this point.

So, we’re just sitting out the front talking, passing time as you do when she decides she might grab some early morning Maccas just half way up the street. Sure enough, in the state I was in I was more than happy for the old ‘Maccas run’ at 3:30 in the morning after a long night. I get halfway there and manage to bump into a couple of mates. Being the old ‘hero’ who’s not all caught up over the woman to not have a yarn with some friends, I tell her to go up and meet her there in a couple. A short chat passes and I decide to head to Maccas only to see several security surrounding a group in Maccas. Yeah, seems like a standard night at Maccas in Broady! But then I see ‘Bec’ in the middle of it. Anyway, story has it some guy spat on her for little to no reason, she fired up and threw a punch/slap (I don’t blame her – terrible form on his behalf). I go over to see what has happened and speak to the security when she runs away hysterical.

Feeling wretched for the girl, I go searching to find her crying not far around corner. At this point in time the security have got the ‘spitter’ and a different guard has followed me to her. I start consoling her for a while when she decides to come with us back to the scene where the police are now with the ‘spitter’. This is where it all went so fast and so wrong in so many ways. The fact the spit was no longer evident on ‘Bec’ and the ‘spitter’ had blood traces on his nose, they started to question ‘Bec.’ In a distraught and somewhat drunk state ‘Bec’ was, she struggled fully recounting the events. Not soon after, when a female officer asks for her I.D (in which is with her friend inside) and doesn’t receive it, she arrests ‘Bec’ and chucks her in the back of a paddy wagon. I’m absolutely furious at this point, arguing ferociously with the pricks while she is being man-handled by the scum. It gets to the point where I’m on the verge of getting arrested too and the paddy wagon has gone – unknown to what station it’s going to. I then get the ultimatum to leave Broadbeach immediately or end up in a cell. Without even having the chance to wait and explain to her friend what has happened and where ‘Bec’ is, I’m chucked in a taxi to (likely) never see her again. I really hope she ended up ok and chased up the CCTV footage and followed up on this.

I’ll try to continue to add a couple more that have occurred to me over the years in the coming days. In the mean time, keep them coming AFS family.

You've reminded me of one of my first forays into the world of women by telling this wonderful tale! Funny enough, I was only just regaling the boys with this story on the weekend during our mid season old boys trip.

I spent the Xmas holidays with a mates family up at The Entrance on the Central Coast of NSW, a sleepy little holiday resort about 90 mins up the road from Sydney. I was only 14-15 at the time, and our days and nights consisted of fishing, prawning, riding pushies off wharves, rolling spliffs the size of garden hoses.......the usual.

In those times, the face of the area around holidays changed from your standard Anglo families to that of Middle Eastern/European mobs, replete at the beach in their Adidas snap-up trackies, Everlast singlets, and of course, chains. I'll never forget the young bloke who pulled up his Gemini in the car park of North Entrance beach, ran straight across the sand and into the drink..........brand new mobile (There weren't many of them available back in the early/mid 90s), sweet 4 band graphic equaliser walkman, flash watch, chains, hi-top Jordans..........all ruined. He trudges back up the sand like a defeated young boy. We laughed. But I digress.

We'd had a few run ins with the 'new breed' around town, as you do, territory has to be marked. To the point where we were cornered in the KFC on the main street while these blokes circled the block. Was actually pretty terrifying, but it was a pre-cursor to what was to come.

I'd made acquaintance with a gorgeous young bird from up Port Mac way during the day, and had plied her with gallons of Fruity Lexia up to sun down, and she was a seasoned campaigner when it came to boxed wine. We were getting along famously, to the point where I was knuckles deep and she was vigourously trying to locate the 5 cent piece in my pants pocket. All this classy foreplay took place on the shore front, right where the old carnival would set up in front of the pelican feeding area, for those playing at home. So I had a crowd, including my mate right next to me. Shame, we had none.

So I'm sitting with my arm around the young lass after she located said 5 cent piece, when a young Leb comes up, taps me on the shoulder and says 'what are you doing with my girl?' I looked at her and asked if this was true.......she said 'this little dapto* has been hassling me all week, I don't want a bar of him' (At this point I should mention that I was a big kid at 14-15, about 180cm, 75-80kg, training with the Swans and NSW/ACT RAMS squads, playing Rugby League for school, boxing at the YMCA, so I could look after myself and crossed the line from confidence to arrogance often. If I could I'd go back in time and beat the brakes off myself)

I stood up and walked towards this bloke, who was seriously about 2 foot shorter than me. I actually had to look down at him. He had mustard Kappa pants, a black shirt, white shoes which were unheard of back then, and a Nike cap. I knocked his cap off and said 'if you don't f**k off I'm going to destroy you' he looked up at me and said 'There's no chance of that' and pointed to a long, cylindrical bulge in his pants........having a skinful of boxed wine, I said 'you'd want to swing that Maglite pretty hard' (Maglites being the weapon of choice around Blacktown, my home turf) when he pulled his shirt up to reveal the glossy butt of a SAWN OFF SHOTGUN. A sawn off f***ing shotgun.

This is the last I recall, and also the last time I saw the young bird, as I turned on my heel and used all my training and fitness to run as fast as humanly possible, all the while running in a zig zag motion, as I'd learned in a Van Damme or Seagal fillum of recent release. I should mention that I was squealing ith terror and had tears pouring down my face. My mate, who was far less of a fitness freak as me, actually streaked past me like I was standing still, squealing louder than I.

Funny enough, a few months later I had a gun pulled on me for the second time, while on a City sojourn, but that's a story for another time.

This story actually makes most of my friends cry with laughter, so I hope you enjoy it too. Nothing embellished, all facts. I didn't mention that I had an undercut and ponytail, but that's for good reason.
 

AtomicBlonde

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That last story isn't awkward at all, it's ****ing disturbing tbh. Are we to assume that the little dude with the big gun then had his way with the poor girl and possibly dozens of his mates would have had a piece as well?
 
Aug 5, 2004
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That last story isn't awkward at all, it's ****ing disturbing tbh. Are we to assume that the little dude with the big gun then had his way with the poor girl and possibly dozens of his mates would have had a piece as well?

With the crowd about (it was around 9pm, give or take, on a Saturday night), in between Christmas and NYE, at the busiest point of the area, I doubt it. Self preservation was my only concern at that point. When a gun appears, your thought process amplifies beyond reasonable logic. (you s**t yourself and react accordingly, basically)
 
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