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Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by CakeEater, May 30, 2011.

Put it out there
  1. Marklar_33

    Marklar_33 Club Legend

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    Well done. You've annoyed my wife by causing me to chortle while she's 'trying to watch this!' :D

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  2. RobbieGray17

    RobbieGray17 All Australian

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    Well the other day I saw this woman walk past me, she was like one of those figure fitness type chicks totally toned, I was like holy crap, probably in her late 20s early 30s, but totally the sort of chick I'd go for. I was kicking myself for not doing anything about it, but anyway the next week I thought I'd just see if she passed by, and yeah I saw her, I couldn't remember the last time, I'd made some sort of effort like this, anyway I was a bit slow, and walked into her office building, I had just started to talk to her, and noticed she had a wedding ring on. There was a moment of awkwardness for what seemed like an eternity, until I just pretended to walk up the stairs, and waited for her to catch the elevator, then walked out. It was kinda embarrassing but at least I'm not going to die wondering. The funny thing is for 15 minutes prior I was pumping myself up doing pushups etc so I could look a bit more built, what a ruddy waste of time that was, i felt like a complete ass.
  3. TheNextBigThing

    TheNextBigThing Team Captain

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    I had a few people over at mine one night, anyway I was getting bored and tired so went to bed, few minutes later this bird walks in my room strips naked and gets into bed with me, being the gentleman I am, I gave her an extra blanket so she wouldn't get cold, rolled over and went to sleep. Did I miss a chance here?
  4. policegetthatman

    policegetthatman Permaban

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    Clearly not interested.
  5. pekay-norwest

    pekay-norwest Team Captain

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    I have been racking my brain to think of an incident where I've skew-iffed it, but I am a man of little moral fibre, and was told by a wise British gent I worked with as a young fella three pieces of advice, which are basically that same thing worded differently, and I've lived by ALL of them for the past 12 years.

    1. A faint heart never f**ked a fair lady

    2. The one you knock back is the one you miss out on.

    3. Any port in a storm

    Having said that, NYE 2010, freshly single from a 3 year relationship, starting to get that swagger back. We hold a NYE party for the footy club at our palatial digs in way west Sydney, good crowd, about 50 or 60 of us. A mate's missus brings a bird that is beautiful, I'd reckon an 8. Really nice to talk to as well, had a bit of a flirt previously. So yeah, I'm thinking I'm half a shot.

    So I get stuck into my poison of choice - Cointreau. I can't drink dark spirits and got hooked on the french jooce as a young tacker. Nice warm day, cricket in the street, international beer drinking contest between the boys.....yeah.

    So the mate, his missus and friend arrive, just before sundown. Sweet, she looks gorgeous, gives me a hug n kiss. Yeah. Mind, I'm drinking strong for the past 4 hours, had a few blasts on the ganga, as you do. Things start going from clarity to small, photo like instances. Scenes missing, if you will. We sit down next to each other around the table. Asks how I am after break up; small talk. I open up a bit (The break up was all my doing, boss like) and we chat and laugh for awhile. She puts her hand on my leg. I am fecking ready to go. I notice a big ring on her finger. BIG. So in my coolest voice, I say 'Dear lord, did you rape Liberace for that ring?' and laugh to myself. She peered beyond my soul. I look around the table of all the footy boys: three is in hysterics, one is giving me the wind up, everyone else had that 'you didn't just say that did you?' look on their face.

    She utters something and goes and stares at the garage door until I disappear upstairs. Few more hot ones. Fell down the stairs. Vomited in my hands. Brother carries me upstairs. Wake up in the bath. And, due to my love of Cointreau, I bite people. Hard. I near severed her cheek.

    Fear not, I am not forlorn! I will make up for it. But the boys do call me Libba at footy from time to time.

    Only bonus out of it, if any, was the Blues Brothers marathon on Fox that day. Every so often I'd think about how I managed to **** block myself with a reference to the equally-est flaming piano player in music history. Yeah.

    I am loving this thread too.
  6. A Swallow

    A Swallow All Australian

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    Okay. Firstly, this is an amazing thread. So much fail haha.

    I have a decent one, not 100% my fault, but certainly copped bucket-loads of shit about it off mates, and still do occasionally - some 2 years on.

    Having a sister two years younger than me has always provided me with any number of her friends to chat up with an easy starting point. Though she has this one friend, who is an absolute 10/10, and I barely ever even considered it to be the faintest possibility. Until one night at a nightclub, I told my sister how amazing her friend was. My sister (a solid wing-woman in her own right) went over and told her friend god know's what, but her friend came over on the dance floor, smiled and started kissing me straight up. We spoke for a while after this and hooked up several other times that same night. Exchanged numbers, but I didn't contact her at all for a couple of weeks.

    Cue the night of the fail...

    A fortnight later I went to the train station to head into the city, and she was doing the same, both on our own. She teased me about not contacting her and we flirted the whole way to the city on the train. She asked me to come to the club she was going to with her mates, but I had prior arrangements I was obliged to honour. She messaged me almost instantly after we got in separate taxis telling me she wanted to catch up later and had an hotel room with her guy mates, but would prefer to stay elsewhere.
    I went to my mate's event, got sh*t-faced, messaged her several times during the night and she was keen, my phone was going flat though so I turned it off to save power. I got too drunk, forgot to turn it back on until 4am, at which point I had numerous messages/missed calls from her asking when she could see me/stay with me. I apologized but got no reply, didn't see her for two weeks, in which time she started dating a mate of mine (broken up now, but were together for over a year) and is now off limits. I have never lived it down.

    Not sure why I said it wasn't all my fault, in hindsight - massive fail.
  7. Apollo2011

    Apollo2011 Senior List

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    What the hell dude.

    Let's turn down obv sex with a 10 to get wasted with my mates, something I can do every weekend.

    So bad :D
  8. A Swallow

    A Swallow All Australian

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    Oh it's terrible. I had successfully repressed this memory, until I read this thread. Still painful.
  9. I bleed Blue

    I bleed Blue All Australian

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    Wow, so many points of fail in that story Swallow.

    Question, why did you not call after you first hooked up with her?
  10. A Swallow

    A Swallow All Australian

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    To be honest I'm not entirely sure. She was well known in the area because of her looks (and the fact that she had been in a relationship for several years and was newly single, so any guy that knew of her was discussing her), I guess even after hooking up with her numerous times I was still slightly intimidated. Though I think the fact that I didn't contact her is the reason she was so keen the next time she saw me, I doubt she was/is used to that sort of nonchalance from someone she has picked up.

    The fact that I didn't just go to the club with her, or organise where/when to meet up before my phone died & forgot to turn my phone back on for several hours, is just some of the dumbest sh*t I've ever done. :eek:

    [​IMG]
  11. Apollo2011

    Apollo2011 Senior List

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    Why is she now "off limits?"

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  12. Prem87

    Prem87 Club Legend

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    Start flirting with her again, but put all the blame on her in a fun way..tell her "you had your chance with me" etc..
  13. I bleed Blue

    I bleed Blue All Australian

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    I think your definatly right about that. Thats why I was wondering if you strategicly did it or there was other reasons.

    How close is this mate that she dated? All may not be over. There is clearly attraction there, so you could still be half a chance ( as long as you dont mind hooking up with a mates ex).

    Would love to see this go from a story of fail to a story of redemption :)
  14. A Swallow

    A Swallow All Australian

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    Not super close, but I'm closer with his brother. Like a big group of boys - all went to Bali together etc - so not sure if it would step on any toes or not. She has a bf now who was a year or two above me at school, and is a complete and utter f*ckwit. If anything happens there (if she realises he is a drug-riddled twat) I'll send her a cheeky message similar to what was suggested above and reignite it. I'm seeing a gorgeous girl atm though so it's not the end of the world, though it will always annoy me if I don't sort her out at some point in the future.
  15. Gibbsy

    Gibbsy Moderator

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    Awaiting... :cool:
  16. A Swallow

    A Swallow All Australian

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    You wouldn't consider a mate's ex off limits?
  17. CrazyQ

    CrazyQ Club Legend

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    So...

    I walked up to start a conversation with this beautiful woman on the weekend. Before I even open my mouth she tells me in no uncertain terms to "**** off!".

    I tried to reply "Did you even know what I was going to say?" but got to "Did yo.." before she says it again.

    "**** off!"

    I've never been so confused. It wasn't even embarrassed confused, just straight up "Did that just happen?" confused.
  18. CrazyQ

    CrazyQ Club Legend

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    Depends.
  19. deeman12

    deeman12 Team Captain

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    Don't even sweat that shit. She was probably having a terrible night, i.e, recently dumped, cheated on, somebody spilled a drink on her, her pet died, somebody slapped her, she has bipolar disorder. You get my drift, there are just so many things other than you personally that may have caused her to lose her shit.
  20. I bleed Blue

    I bleed Blue All Australian

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    Did you try hitting her?



    Seriously though dont think twice about it man. As deeman said she was most likely just shitty about something else.
  21. Apollo2011

    Apollo2011 Senior List

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    Didn't see this.

    Have actually gone there before - we only lasted 6 months, compared to their 1. She's now dating a third mate, has been for 2-3 years.

    But at the time, it was shit. All good now, but looking back I've learnt my lesson.

    Don't do it. If you do - got to be prepared to lose that friendship, and cop it from others, if they don't tell you to get lost as well.
  22. A Swallow

    A Swallow All Australian

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    If my mate was only with her for a month or two...then maybe. Though it lasted over a year between them, and ended really, really badly. So she isn't well liked amongst that group of boys these days. I doubt it would be looked upon in a good light if something happened, but it's a moot point as she's taken right now anyway. If anything further unfolds I will be sure to update GD.
  23. Marklar_33

    Marklar_33 Club Legend

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    Yeah, but you ****ed her first...the fact that your 'mate' then hooked up with her means all bets are off, surely!
  24. HolyRioli

    HolyRioli Team Captain

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    Speak to your mate about it. He might not care at all
  25. checkraiseulite

    checkraiseulite All Australian

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    Depending on the dynamic between you guys you might not get an honest answer at all. I'm guessing it's very rare that someone is going to explicitly tell you in response to a direct question that they aren't happy with you having a crack at a girl you like.

    Realistically, if you're asking the question, you're not going to listen to any answer you're given.

    Having said that if you really like the girl in question you're better off telling your mate directly that you're interested, it's not personal and you won't be rubbing his nose in it whilst he's still hurting.

    Good mates it's a bit different and can be very awkward if you have a lot of mutual friends and can't just let things cool down for period of time.

    This shit happens all the time though, and it's how you handle it that matters.