Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories

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DrVanNostrand said:
Drunkenly making out with a Dutch chick in a hostel in South Korea the other night, she grabs my dick and pulls me into the nearest bathroom. NEKMINNIT. Someone has left a massive ******* steaming turd on top of the toilet seat, she totally freaks out, puts my hand down her pants one more time, and goes to bed.

FUUUUUUUUUUU......
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Ahh the good ol' Seoul City Steamer!
 
utensil-blocked by a huge Henry the Third. How humiliating and disappointing, yet admirable at the same time. Struggling to see that you can be topped in the utensil-blocked stakes.
 
I'm sorry to hang it on Andonis more, but I re-read his story and it was worse than I remembered it.

Dear God.
 

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Andonis1997 said:
I'm going to put this in spoiler tags as this is quite an innapropriate story. I'm not exactly sure where the mods rule a line with 'sexual language'..
This isn't a 'Flirting' story, as it involves a couple, but it's an awkward story.... It's awkward to tell as well..
And it is an example of what effect pr0n can do to a teen body and its functions.

4 monts in relationship, 16/17 years old.
The night before:
Tom talks to Lisa about video games to play and making out at her place.
Tom agrees.
Tom is worried as he has only pecked a girl on the lips.

He is also quite a frequent pr0n viewer. He usually ej*cul*tes after watching videos... unprovoked.

The day of occurrence:
Tom meets Lisa at her place.
Lisa is alone.
They sit on floor.
They play SuperMario Bros.
They cuddle.
They get popcorn to eat
They cuddle and start making out on carpet floor
They get used to eachother's lips and make out for 5-10mins.
Tom notices a wet spot on his skinny jeans, goes to bathroom.
Pre-c**. Lots of it. Already.
Tom cleans it up with toilet paper.
Goes back into room where Lisa is waiting.
Blames wet patch on dog because of it's wet nose. Got away with it.

Lisa and tom get back to it. Lasts another 10mins before deciding to go on her bed.
Lisa lies on bed first on her back, Tom climbs between Lisa's legs.
20 seconds in the make out sesh, Tom ej*cul*tes. Lisa doesn't notice.
Lisa grabs Tom's ass, asks if she ruined the mood.
Tom uses this to get the hell out of there to clean up his pants. He says yes she did and runs to the toilets.
C*m everywhere in his jocks
Wet patch reaches his jeans' pocket.
Wipes off all of it, the wet patch is still 'wet'.
Stuffs toilet paper in jocks to stop with wetness.

Rejoins Lisa.
Carries on making out and for next hour and half (with breaks) while dry humping for 20 mins, supposedly without a hitch. This was as far as Tom and Lisa had gone with the opposite sex.

Tom managed to hide all this from girlfriend.
The End.
Yeah.
Enjoy(?)
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PE-AD.jpg
 
Who pre-cums that much? That's not its biological point.

And who comes after no more than jean friction at most?

And if you're a big pr0n viewer, wouldn't you be relieving a lot? How can you have so much it spills to pockets?

And why is a teenager, nigh-on-young man saying "they get used to one another's lips." I remember in high school, this girl was writing fanfiction online and I was entrusted to suss it. I'll tell ya what, phrases like that belong in stories about s**t band's lead singers, not footy forums where the primary function is to boost your ego and make a case about how Nick Suban's not bad, he's just being played out of position.

So many false stories in here. Imagine lying about not getting birds to impress dudes on a forum. What a world
 

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LicoriceAllsorts said:
Well in this thread I've seen a 27 on the Xtreme scale and a 7.5 on the Xtreme scale both being regarded as 'hot'

???
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Cruyff14 probably has it right. You might have to ask Xtreme himself!

P.S. thanks for going through and liking every one of my stories in this thread haha

My NYE one has 90 likes now, an AFS record which I will look back on fondly. Would love to hit the ton just so I can post a picture of Ponting et al. raising the bat
 
Gibbsy said:
Cruyff14 probably has it right. You might have to ask Xtreme himself!

P.S. thanks for going through and liking every one of my stories in this thread haha

My NYE one has 90 likes now, an AFS record which I will look back on fondly. Would love to hit the ton just so I can post a picture of Ponting et al. raising the bat
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Have been up to date with about the last 50 pages, but decided to go back and read every page now, or at least every post with 10+ likes
 
getthefooty said:
**** I always thought the Xtreme scale had something to do with how crazy the chick was.
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Thats the XXXtreme scale!

Cruyff14 said:
Isn't it where he vastly overrates women? Everyone's usually a 9 or 10?
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It's been so long I don't even remember, I guess that's one way of putting it. However there are plenty of girls that other's have labeled 9's or 10's that I would have only given 6's or 8's to.
 
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Doss said:
Just imagine reading the whole thing in one go.

I dare someone here to do it.

For mine, Jeremy Jordan's still hasn't been topped.
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I did probably 40 pages over 2-3 hours one night and I couldn't do any more afterwards. Just a massive hit of stories in one go.
 
Doss said:
Just imagine reading the whole thing in one go.

I dare someone here to do it.

For mine, Jeremy Jordan's still hasn't been topped.
Click to expand...

Yep that's a ripper, probably my favourite too, alongside that really early one where the bloke grabbed batteries out of his Xbox controller and dropped them to this bird's house because her vibrator stopped working
 
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