Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories

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Mogwai said:
This is a flirting story, but not awkward enough, more straight up sad.

It's September and I decided to at least try and do something at school before it's too late. As people go, this girl was alright she wasn't the prettiest or nicest by any stretch, but good enough. So one day we struck up a chat and looked like things were going somewhere fast.

However, much like Jack Trengove's navicular it deteriorated quickly and there was some prior history behind it since I had known her for a good four years now and probably could've if one of the other Awkward Flirting Stories didn't happen. One day the switch was flicked (again) and she decided not to talk to me anymore. Zero eye contact when I walked past, occasional awkward waves unreciprocated. Slightly confused as to what I had done, this proto-affection gradually became a strong loathing. So she tried talking to me last week, but I had none of it kept being distracted.

That week however, a list came out on muck-up day, a classic name-and-shame list. My name was completely absent from the list, but on the second page was hers. I did not know about it until a couple hours later when she tried talking to me. What was written on there basically rendered a reaction of: "Jesus Christ. I missed out."

"it's not third wheeling unless you join in, right? (girl) and (another girl) can't do it by themselves... unless it's a triangle of course"

I think that entry on the list is why I think she completely stopped talking to anyone afterward. I still think I would've gone somewhere if I had talked to her last week as well just due to that entry. But I didn't. Just as well.
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Is this an awkward isosceles story?
 
radiojake said:
well, page 269 dropped it's standards quite decisively -

some kid still finishing high school makes some obtuse reference to the 'chance' he messed up with, seemingly implying the possibility of some 'slutty lesbian' traingle action, while our favourite early 20s typecast suburban white male referenced a Two and a Half Men youtube clip...

fantastic...
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You're my favourite too <3
 

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Not awkward but i think i missed out, at the bar last night i was drowning my sorrows and a random but not unattractive lady walked over and asked me if i was on mixer, whats mixer i ask? Lady walks away. wtf i google mixer and all i get is kitchen s**t wtf?
 
Haddo said:
Not awkward but i think i missed out, at the bar last night i was drowning my sorrows and a random but not unattractive lady walked over and asked me if i was on mixer, whats mixer i ask? Lady walks away. wtf i google mixer and all i get is kitchen s**t wtf?
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Always say yes when a girl asks you something.
 
Tigerland55 said:
Always say yes when a girl asks you something.
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I'm old enough to know this isn't always wise, one day you'll find this out too when you get invited in for a drink by a lady and find her husbands waiting, her very angry, very ugly wired up husband and you run like hell and stop answering the phone.
 
Haddo said:
I'm old enough to know this isn't always wise, one day you'll find this out too when you get invited in for a drink by a lady and find her husbands waiting, her very angry, very ugly wired up husband and you run like hell and stop answering the phone.
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Now that's an AFS that needs telling...
 

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Tigerland55 said:
Now that's an AFS that needs telling...
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First you have to understand i have one personal rule, nobodies wife or girlfriend otherwise it's play on.

To protect the innocent we'll call her "Shazza" she was with her friends wearing a little blue dress with matching breasts and no rings on her fingers. (i always check when talking with milfs) So to keep it short i cut her from her girlfriends, we danced, we drank, we exchanged phone numbers and Shazza said lets go back to her place which we did. We kissed in the taxi and again at the door, in we went and she turned on the lights opened the next door and there he was waiting in his hi-vis clothes she yelled his name and hugged him, he went off his head and i went out the door and ran and i didn't stop running till i got to the taxi rank and got the * home. But my phone didn't stopping ringing for a week "Shazza" was leaving messages that it was ok her and *Stevo" had an open marriage him being away at the mine and he had dropped some speed and that's why he went wild but it was all good if i was interested.
I got a new phone, a new number and i've never been back back to the Royal Hotel.
-
 
Yes yes he does orange and blue with white flouro, "Stevo" is a subbie diesel mechanic he drives his own 4x4 tool truck to the mine and back. I quietly asked around to see if i was in deep s**t.
 
Haddo said:
First you have to understand i have one personal rule, nobodies wife or girlfriend otherwise it's play on.

To protect the innocent we'll call her "Shazza" she was with her friends wearing a little blue dress with matching breasts and no rings on her fingers. (i always check when talking with milfs) So to keep it short i cut her from her girlfriends, we danced, we drank, we exchanged phone numbers and Shazza said lets go back to her place which we did. We kissed in the taxi and again at the door, in we went and she turned on the lights opened the next door and there he was waiting in his hi-vis clothes she yelled his name and hugged him, he went off his head and i went out the door and ran and i didn't stop running till i got to the taxi rank and got the **** home. But my phone didn't stopping ringing for a week "Shazza" was leaving messages that it was ok her and *Stevo" had an open marriage him being away at the mine and he had dropped some speed and that's why he went wild but it was all good if i was interested.
I got a new phone, a new number and i've never been back back to the Royal Hotel.
-
Click to expand...

That's how to tell a ******* story, short and sweet and to the point.
 
So does a story where 2 others were flirting and I felt awkward count?

No, well I'll take that as a yes. (Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom reference for parents out there)

So I'm doing the shopping and turn down the dairy aisle. It's wide with the freezers in the middle. So I head down the side where I need to go to get the cream for the yummy spaghetti marinara I'm planning to make. As you can see I'm on a mission. In front of me is some woman. Nothing to take note of slim, tall early 40's and a solid 5. Only she's walking slowly and I'm on a mission. Eventually she catches up to her partner. He's walking slowly too. He's like 5'4", 5'5" tops, he is balding and tubby. Think Frank from American pickers. He's leaning his elbows on the trolley pushing it slowly.

So she walks up next to him....... I think awesome, I can get my stuff finally and GTFO of here..... She reaches out her arm.....ok, I'm ok with minor PDA's, but I am in a hurry now....... and she touches his arse..... They do realise I'm behind them right?.... and slides her hand to the seam of his short shorts...

Ok there is a break in the bench freezers with the glass tops.... ok walk fast, I'll take the long way around. I walk over to the cheese side of the aisle, weave back around the bench freezers back to the original side..... crap they must have sped up and are still infront of me. No matter now, I'll grab the cream and try to wipe that image from my memory.

Ok got the cream. Ready to go. Can't move forward as the have the end of the aisle blocked and are walking slowly. Again her hand reached out, completely by passes the touch on the bum cheek... right to his crack... again.... They know I'm there, I think to myself. Surely they know.... and her fingers stroke up and down his crack...... Can you not do that infront of me? I should have yelled it out, but I was stunned. Frozen from a nasty mix of repulsion and disbelief.... I think I taste a little vomit in my mouth....

Finally. .. I see my chance and swiftly walk past..... Geez I hope never to see that again.


Now, I know that is not the intent of this thread. But there is no way I can suffer that torturous mental image alone. And technically since I felt awkward and there was flirting (be it of a hideous nature) I'm standing by this post.
 
Mattrox said:
So does a story where 2 others were flirting and I felt awkward count?

No, well I'll take that as a yes. (Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom reference for parents out there)

So I'm doing the shopping and turn down the dairy aisle. It's wide with the freezers in the middle. So I head down the side where I need to go to get the cream for the yummy spaghetti marinara I'm planning to make. As you can see I'm on a mission. In front of me is some woman. Nothing to take note of slim, tall early 40's and a solid 5. Only she's walking slowly and I'm on a mission. Eventually she catches up to her partner. He's walking slowly too. He's like 5'4", 5'5" tops, he is balding and tubby. Think Frank from American pickers. He's leaning his elbows on the trolley pushing it slowly.

So she walks up next to him....... I think awesome, I can get my stuff finally and GTFO of here..... She reaches out her arm.....ok, I'm ok with minor PDA's, but I am in a hurry now....... and she touches his arse..... They do realise I'm behind them right?.... and slides her hand to the seam of his short shorts...

Ok there is a break in the bench freezers with the glass tops.... ok walk fast, I'll take the long way around. I walk over to the cheese side of the aisle, weave back around the bench freezers back to the original side..... crap they must have sped up and are still infront of me. No matter now, I'll grab the cream and try to wipe that image from my memory.

Ok got the cream. Ready to go. Can't move forward as the have the end of the aisle blocked and are walking slowly. Again her hand reached out, completely by passes the touch on the bum cheek... right to his crack... again.... They know I'm there, I think to myself. Surely they know.... and her fingers stroke up and down his crack...... Can you not do that infront of me? I should have yelled it out, but I was stunned. Frozen from a nasty mix of repulsion and disbelief.... I think I taste a little vomit in my mouth....

Finally. .. I see my chance and swiftly walk past..... Geez I hope never to see that again.


Now, I know that is not the intent of this thread. But there is no way I can suffer that torturous mental image alone. And technically since I felt awkward and there was flirting (be it of a hideous nature) I'm standing by this post.
Click to expand...
They obviously wanted you to be the third side of a triangle!

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk
 
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