Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories

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Howard Littlejohn said:
BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Try harder.

Someone has to make up for those us who learned long ago never to try at all, and are now incapable even if they did try.
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You're only incapable if you're in a committed relationship!

And think of it this way, if you're rusty, you're going to be able to make some spectacular contributions to this thread before you get well practiced and find your feet (which eventually happens to everyone, or so I can assume from the lack of NYE contributions.)
 
Surely there are more NYE stories out there?

I was standard 3rd wheel on Wednesday night in bar with about 500 attendees - so about 11:45 start staking out my midnight kiss/late night dance partner. Finally come across a pair of girls and settle on the semi-hot semi-trashy one (black hair and standard small tatoos in all the dirty places). Early chat goes well - she literally wants to add me on Facebook inside 3 minutes so by this stage I have basically pencilled in a W. Introductory chat continues until 5 minutes out when it moves to what we do - I tell her - she tells me she only just started working.

iluvparis - is that becasue you only finished uni last year?
girl - no - I have two kids (8 & 12!!!) and am ready to go back to work now

G A M E O V E R
 

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iluvparis said:
Surely there are more NYE stories out there?

I was standard 3rd wheel on Wednesday night in bar with about 500 attendees - so about 11:45 start staking out my midnight kiss/late night dance partner. Finally come across a pair of girls and settle on the semi-hot semi-trashy one (black hair and standard small tatoos in all the dirty places). Early chat goes well - she literally wants to add me on Facebook inside 3 minutes so by this stage I have basically pencilled in a W. Introductory chat continues until 5 minutes out when it moves to what we do - I tell her - she tells me she only just started working.

iluvparis - is that becasue you only finished uni last year?
girl - no - I have two kids (8 & 12!!!) and am ready to go back to work now

G A M E O V E R
Click to expand...

she would've taught you a thing or two though...
 
radiojake said:
not sure that is something you can 'teach'
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More something you learn from..

Why are we getting deep? We don't want anyone to get deep. Intended innuendo, hurry up and fail, everyone. We want to feel better about ourselves.
 
gfhawthorn said:
At the vineyard in Melbourne, start talking to English girl for 10-15 mins, find out she's from Liverpool
"Support the local team I guess?"
"Yeah, yourself?"
"United"
"Piss off you bandwagon campaigner"
Gold.
Click to expand...

That is brilliant.
 
gfhawthorn said:
At the vineyard in Melbourne, start talking to English girl for 10-15 mins, find out she's from Liverpool
"Support the local team I guess?"
"Yeah, yourself?"
"United"
"Piss off you bandwagon campaigner"
Gold.
Click to expand...

Did you slip one past her goalie?
 

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So nothing to tell from this NYE…..so I'll leave you with something I prepared earlier. Not so much a flirting story, but left me scratching my head trying to work out what had happened.

It was NYE afternoon a couple of years ago and myself and few mates were up on the Gold Coast. It was a last minute decision and pretty much everything was booked so we had to backpack it in the hostel. I was in my room alone when these two young German lasses popped in to say hello (the door was open). They asked if they could use the power points to charge their phones or something. So we got to chatting and and things were going alright so I brought up if they had any plans for the evening. They said no, so I asked if they wanted to join my mates and I on Cavill Av to have a drink, watch the fireworks on the beach and whatever afterwards. They were keen and we agreed on a time and place to meet. At this point my mates had come back to the room, where I introduced the girls to them and vice-versa. I should state here that my mates can be real kents sometimes and I'm not exactly the smoothest with the ladies, so they were not only surprised to see me talking to 2 attractive ladies and set something up for later in the night, but they were doing their best to royally * this up for me - the whole he'll give you herpes type stuff and so on. I'm not sure if the girls didn't care or just couldn't understand English well enough, but they were still keen to meet me later. I'm thinking 'you beauty, not sure what they see in me but I'll run with it'.

Now it's come to the evening and many beverages had been consumed, so we wander to Surfer's Paradise. Time comes to meet at the beach under the Surfer's sign. waiting for 15 minutes, nothing. Another 15, still no show. So my mates, while giving me s**t for being stood up, start wandering towards a bar. It's about 11:30 I think at this point. One of mates waits behind with me but still they weren't to be seen. So we make our way onto the sand where fireworks are about to go off and music's pumping and the crowd was massive, so we thought, may as well just hang around there instead of find the others. Then, miraculously, we find them on the beach just hanging out by themselves. I was more keen on one of the two, so I started talking to her, while my mate talks to the other. Now, my mate had a girlfriend so he wasn't trying anything on, but they seemed to hitting it off anyway. We're talking, things are going well, dancing and that. Comes to 11:59, countdown etc. I go in for a kiss and she pulls away and says "uh uh, on the cheek". I'm like, 'that's odd'. Anyway, fireworks finished and we all head off to find the others. They said they had to meet up with a friend first so my mate goes off to meet the others while I stayed with the girls and waited for their friend. They said to wait where I was while they go find her. So I'm waiting (dunno why I agreed to this instead of just go with them) but it was a repeat of earlier in the night. About 45 minutes of waiting and still nothing. So I give up and try to meet the others. They say they're at the strippers but heading back soon. I wasn't too keen on going to meet em so I tried calling the girls but no answer. I start heading back, and when I get about 5 minutes after, my mates rock up and with a picture they said they had to show me. It was a a group pic of all of them with the girls. I still don't get what the hell happened. Just left me wondering what I'd did wrong. Everything seemed to be going so well.
 
gfhawthorn said:
At the vineyard in Melbourne, start talking to English girl for 10-15 mins, find out she's from Liverpool
"Support the local team I guess?"
"Yeah, yourself?"
"United"
"Piss off you bandwagon campaigner"
Gold.
Click to expand...
As she walked away in a huff should have told her not to slip on her way out
 
Semi awkward flirting story (full version to be posted tomorrow) known this girl for a while. We've been trying to go on a date for ages but one of us is always busy so we kept putting it off. A lot of the flirting was done the lazy way (online messaging) and some of our conversations were pretty out there (but normal if you get the sense of humour we have). Seemed to have done enough with the chatting, to go on a "date" we had earlier (went out to dinner). I would call that a success as she wants to hang out again tomorrow.

And here's some of the random chat (ok it's not that awkward... some of it was but it's more embarrassing than truly awkward and thus I've kept out the really really really bad stuff).

Lexi: Anything before 5 pm won't work for me anyway, lol. I do have a day job after all. ;) how's about 8 or 8:30 ?

Xtreme: Sounds like a plan, and I forgot about you working I thought you had more than just Christmas off haha but that's ok.

Lexi: I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited...

Xtreme: Haha you have nothing to get excited about until it happens :-D, all bets are off from that point onward lol


*random conversation ensued about the difference between our banter in text compared to how we banter in person. We've had moments where she drops hint about how horny she is (as yet we've done nothing in that area :D*

Xtreme: It's kinda amusing that the shyness happens, just that it changes the dynamic a little. I always feel as though I've been able to hold a conversation reasonably well through just typing.... speaking shouldn't change things... but it makes me feel like I am starting from day 1 again.


Lexi: Hahaha, I'd LOVE to hear you all giggly, especially later on after we get a bit more familiar. ;)
I'm trying to focus at work and you are making it very, very difficult to concentrate.
Tell me more about your plans.........

Xtreme: I like long walks on the beach and long walks off short piers. Sorry bad joke :D

Lexi: I can take a hint. :p


Asked me about any new cd purchases:

Xtreme: Last new album I'll be ashamed to say Taylor Swift's and I thought it sucked (this is coming from someone that didn't mind her previous albums :p). I can listen to most forms of music, except the techno stuff.

Lexi: I too recently bought T-Swizzle's Official Pop Album... I miss the feels I got from her previous albums, but I do enjoy this new sound too. Wildest Dream is straight up sexy!

She canceled on me awhile back with this:
Lexi: Also... Just remembered... I don't get home until about 10:30 my time. I'm free any other night though, I promise!! I'm so sorry, I completely blanked! :drunk:

Xtreme: No worries you're just delaying the inevitable hahaha *evil grin* :D

*Inevitable what I don't know, it was just one of my random one liners* :$:)

Lexi: Well as popular as you say you are I'm just glad you can fit me in again! I was worried I'd missed my chance :p

*I scratched my head and wondered what she meant by that as I never actually said I was popular*

Lexie: I was only joking with you! Lol. Sorry, hard to be funny over email.

Xtreme: Oh well you know I could pile the pressure on you to come out (that would be where my puppy dog eyes come in to play haha).

Lexi: Hahaha, well who can say no to puppy dog eyes? Hahaha.
Saturday could work for me, i don't have any plans. :) I'm excited!


Xtreme: Strap on your skates you're going on a wild ride

Lexi: Good thing I like skating... :p

Xtreme: It could get bumpy along the way ;), if so I will be nice and nurse you back to health!

Lexi: Excited about tonight ? also what should I plan to wear?

*I left the naked reference in there for a laugh, the joking nature of our friendship means that we go back and forth... even having sexual discussions without there being too much seriousness in it.*

Xtreme: I hate to give a typical male response BUT it honestly won't matter what you wear for several reasons 1) You are a beautiful person and wear anything well :) 2) you'll be naked fairly quickly so clothing is an after thought haha. Just wear something that makes you feel confident, comfortable and sexy!

Xtreme: Oh and I am super super super excited, just in case you didn't believe me when I said I was excited :). I am one of those guys that doesn't do cartwheels or jump up and down when something good happens haha. I am more the "nod of approval" alrightttttttttt kind of person. But I seriously can't wait, I hope you don't get stage fright lol.

Lexi: Me? Stage fright? Hahaha.

Xtreme: Well I do have an uncanny ability to make people nervous as they want to impress me for some reason haha.

Lexi:Lol, I am quite certain it'll be well worth the effort! ;D do you like the effect you have on us ladies?
cleardot.gif

cleardot.gif


Xtreme: It has its moments.

Lexi: What is your opinion of leopard print?

Xtreme: It's nice, are you planning on dressing up as Jane in the hopes I show up dressed like Tarzan ? :D
Click to expand...
 
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Xtreme said:
Semi awkward flirting story (full version to be posted tomorrow) known this girl for a while. We've been trying to go on a date for ages but one of us is always busy so we kept putting it off. A lot of the flirting was done the lazy way (online messaging) and some of our conversations were pretty out there (but normal if you get the sense of humour we have). Seemed to have done enough with the chatting, to go on a "date" we had earlier (went out to dinner). I would call that a success as she wants to hang out again tomorrow.
Click to expand...
Still searching for the awkward bit.. ;)
 
If it doesn't end up being his sister I'm going to be disappointed.
Surely someone tried to shag a pre-op trans or something overseas at this time of year.
 
Holy Foley! said:
So nothing to tell from this NYE…..so I'll leave you with something I prepared earlier. Not so much a flirting story, but left me scratching my head trying to work out what had happened.

It was NYE afternoon a couple of years ago and myself and few mates were up on the Gold Coast. It was a last minute decision and pretty much everything was booked so we had to backpack it in the hostel. I was in my room alone when these two young German lasses popped in to say hello (the door was open). They asked if they could use the power points to charge their phones or something. So we got to chatting and and things were going alright so I brought up if they had any plans for the evening. They said no, so I asked if they wanted to join my mates and I on Cavill Av to have a drink, watch the fireworks on the beach and whatever afterwards. They were keen and we agreed on a time and place to meet. At this point my mates had come back to the room, where I introduced the girls to them and vice-versa. I should state here that my mates can be real kents sometimes and I'm not exactly the smoothest with the ladies, so they were not only surprised to see me talking to 2 attractive ladies and set something up for later in the night, but they were doing their best to royally **** this up for me - the whole he'll give you herpes type stuff and so on. I'm not sure if the girls didn't care or just couldn't understand English well enough, but they were still keen to meet me later. I'm thinking 'you beauty, not sure what they see in me but I'll run with it'.

Now it's come to the evening and many beverages had been consumed, so we wander to Surfer's Paradise. Time comes to meet at the beach under the Surfer's sign. waiting for 15 minutes, nothing. Another 15, still no show. So my mates, while giving me s**t for being stood up, start wandering towards a bar. It's about 11:30 I think at this point. One of mates waits behind with me but still they weren't to be seen. So we make our way onto the sand where fireworks are about to go off and music's pumping and the crowd was massive, so we thought, may as well just hang around there instead of find the others. Then, miraculously, we find them on the beach just hanging out by themselves. I was more keen on one of the two, so I started talking to her, while my mate talks to the other. Now, my mate had a girlfriend so he wasn't trying anything on, but they seemed to hitting it off anyway. We're talking, things are going well, dancing and that. Comes to 11:59, countdown etc. I go in for a kiss and she pulls away and says "uh uh, on the cheek". I'm like, 'that's odd'. Anyway, fireworks finished and we all head off to find the others. They said they had to meet up with a friend first so my mate goes off to meet the others while I stayed with the girls and waited for their friend. They said to wait where I was while they go find her. So I'm waiting (dunno why I agreed to this instead of just go with them) but it was a repeat of earlier in the night. About 45 minutes of waiting and still nothing. So I give up and try to meet the others. They say they're at the strippers but heading back soon. I wasn't too keen on going to meet em so I tried calling the girls but no answer. I start heading back, and when I get about 5 minutes after, my mates rock up and with a picture they said they had to show me. It was a a group pic of all of them with the girls. I still don't get what the hell happened. Just left me wondering what I'd did wrong. Everything seemed to be going so well.
Click to expand...
Do your mates belittle you in front of other people? Is one of them currently shagging your ex-girlfriend? Did you pay for the hostel because you're just a great bloke?

And no story of success ever started with "...so she told me to wait here while she went off with her friends." But this story just made me sad more than anything.
 
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