Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories

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Gibbsy said:
Gif required

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Ah how could I forget.

Dat lip bite.:hearts::hearts::hearts::hearts:
 

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Tayl0r said:
I thought about it. I hadn't been with a guy for a long while due to the GF and we were putting plans in place for a baby, there was a guy offering me a solution.

Money involved makes it very unsavoury though.
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If hes as lonely as you make out i reckon he would hang around to be the baby's 'father', not sure if thats something you want either...
 
Was at a friends sister house warming once and his parents were also there. Outside on their deck with a few guys that only knew his sister (not her parents) and one of the guys goes "there's a few good looking girls here, even that old lady is bangable" queue awkward silence/smirks from everyone as my mate interjects "that's my mum".

That's all I've got, sorry AFS
 
Had work a couple nights ago, nowhere special seeing as I'm only 17. Always get some interesting customers coming in as I work at Crown, which is particularly rich with drunken idiots and wealthy champagne sippers. Was doing an overnight shift and at approximately 1am probably the biggest man mountain I had ever seen stood before me. He had one of those tight white shirts on about 5 sizes too small that, although complemented his fake tan, made him look like a monumental twat. I'm pretty short in stature and this Zyzz-type meathead only emphasised this. "Next waiting! How can I help you?" I mutter with his pecs in my direct line of vision. "I have appel pie pliz". Import accent, not ideal but not a complete no go. "Was that all for today?" I say, his pectorials seeming to grow the more I look. "Yes". I mentally establish he is a man of few words. He gets his apple pie and eats it standing a few metres away from my counter, staring at me the entire time. He comes to order again. Same story. He finally comes up to my counter one more time, and he asks me "You have boyfrent?". With a slight grimace on my face in response to his sharp accent, I say no. He asks me - get this, not for my number but what time I finish work. "I finish at 5:30am", I say hesitantly. "Okeh I wait for you" he says. I nod and serve the next customers, expecting him to leave and go play poker or do whatever the hell it is that people enjoy doing at Crown. I realise 1 and a half hours into "standing in front of Maccas and chill" that he's literally waiting for me outside my work for 3 and a half odd hours. I felt bad and so I scribbled my number down for him and told him to leave. He took it and said "I come back when you finish". I finish work and check my phone to come back to, I kid you not, 8 missed calls and numerous texts literally saying "Hey", "Babe", "I wanna see u", "I live near Southern Cross I come see u after work", "Why u no answer", "U have car?", "Wait u to young", "Where are u now?", "What u doing today", "What's ur fb". ABORT MISSION. I texted him in a panic and lied saying that I got picked up from work when in reality circumstances dictated that I had to wait till 7 for the first train to come. At 7 I left my workplace with my jacket draped on my head, ran to Southern Cross and boarded my train. One blocked number later and I have since resigned. Interesting people.
 

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Catgirl said:
Had work a couple nights ago, nowhere special seeing as I'm only 17. Always get some interesting customers coming in as I work at Crown, which is particularly rich with drunken idiots and wealthy champagne sippers. Was doing an overnight shift and at approximately 1am probably the biggest man mountain I had ever seen stood before me. He had one of those tight white shirts on about 5 sizes too small that, although complemented his fake tan, made him look like a monumental twat. I'm pretty short in stature and this Zyzz-type meathead only emphasised this. "Next waiting! How can I help you?" I mutter with his pecs in my direct line of vision. "I have appel pie pliz". Import accent, not ideal but not a complete no go. "Was that all for today?" I say, his pectorials seeming to grow the more I look. "Yes". I mentally establish he is a man of few words. He gets his apple pie and eats it standing a few metres away from my counter, staring at me the entire time. He comes to order again. Same story. He finally comes up to my counter one more time, and he asks me "You have boyfrent?". With a slight grimace on my face in response to his sharp accent, I say no. He asks me - get this, not for my number but what time I finish work. "I finish at 5:30am", I say hesitantly. "Okeh I wait for you" he says. I nod and serve the next customers, expecting him to leave and go play poker or do whatever the hell it is that people enjoy doing at Crown. I realise 1 and a half hours into "standing in front of Maccas and chill" that he's literally waiting for me outside my work for 3 and a half odd hours. I felt bad and so I scribbled my number down for him and told him to leave. He took it and said "I come back when you finish". I finish work and check my phone to come back to, I kid you not, 8 missed calls and numerous texts literally saying "Hey", "Babe", "I wanna see u", "I live near Southern Cross I come see u after work", "Why u no answer", "U have car?", "Wait u to young", "Where are u now?", "What u doing today", "What's ur fb". ABORT MISSION. I texted him in a panic and lied saying that I got picked up from work when in reality circumstances dictated that I had to wait till 7 for the first train to come. At 7 I left my workplace with my jacket draped on my head, ran to Southern Cross and boarded my train. One blocked number later and I have since resigned. Interesting people.
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Sounds like he has you on a pedestal. You'd better be careful.
 
Catgirl said:
Had work a couple nights ago, nowhere special seeing as I'm only 17. Always get some interesting customers coming in as I work at Crown, which is particularly rich with drunken idiots and wealthy champagne sippers. Was doing an overnight shift and at approximately 1am probably the biggest man mountain I had ever seen stood before me. He had one of those tight white shirts on about 5 sizes too small that, although complemented his fake tan, made him look like a monumental twat. I'm pretty short in stature and this Zyzz-type meathead only emphasised this. "Next waiting! How can I help you?" I mutter with his pecs in my direct line of vision. "I have appel pie pliz". Import accent, not ideal but not a complete no go. "Was that all for today?" I say, his pectorials seeming to grow the more I look. "Yes". I mentally establish he is a man of few words. He gets his apple pie and eats it standing a few metres away from my counter, staring at me the entire time. He comes to order again. Same story. He finally comes up to my counter one more time, and he asks me "You have boyfrent?". With a slight grimace on my face in response to his sharp accent, I say no. He asks me - get this, not for my number but what time I finish work. "I finish at 5:30am", I say hesitantly. "Okeh I wait for you" he says. I nod and serve the next customers, expecting him to leave and go play poker or do whatever the hell it is that people enjoy doing at Crown. I realise 1 and a half hours into "standing in front of Maccas and chill" that he's literally waiting for me outside my work for 3 and a half odd hours. I felt bad and so I scribbled my number down for him and told him to leave. He took it and said "I come back when you finish". I finish work and check my phone to come back to, I kid you not, 8 missed calls and numerous texts literally saying "Hey", "Babe", "I wanna see u", "I live near Southern Cross I come see u after work", "Why u no answer", "U have car?", "Wait u to young", "Where are u now?", "What u doing today", "What's ur fb". ABORT MISSION. I texted him in a panic and lied saying that I got picked up from work when in reality circumstances dictated that I had to wait till 7 for the first train to come. At 7 I left my workplace with my jacket draped on my head, ran to Southern Cross and boarded my train. One blocked number later and I have since resigned. Interesting people.
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So did you end up seeing him?
 
Catgirl said:
Not intimately. The next night at work I saw him come through the food court lobby towards the workplace while I was on break and I made springs and bounds towards our lunch room, where I stayed for half an hour
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Seems a bit obvious maybe, but you didn't think to word up security to keep an eye out for him?
 
Catgirl said:
Had work a couple nights ago, nowhere special seeing as I'm only 17. Always get some interesting customers coming in as I work at Crown, which is particularly rich with drunken idiots and wealthy champagne sippers. Was doing an overnight shift and at approximately 1am probably the biggest man mountain I had ever seen stood before me. He had one of those tight white shirts on about 5 sizes too small that, although complemented his fake tan, made him look like a monumental twat. I'm pretty short in stature and this Zyzz-type meathead only emphasised this. "Next waiting! How can I help you?" I mutter with his pecs in my direct line of vision. "I have appel pie pliz". Import accent, not ideal but not a complete no go. "Was that all for today?" I say, his pectorials seeming to grow the more I look. "Yes". I mentally establish he is a man of few words. He gets his apple pie and eats it standing a few metres away from my counter, staring at me the entire time. He comes to order again. Same story. He finally comes up to my counter one more time, and he asks me "You have boyfrent?". With a slight grimace on my face in response to his sharp accent, I say no. He asks me - get this, not for my number but what time I finish work. "I finish at 5:30am", I say hesitantly. "Okeh I wait for you" he says. I nod and serve the next customers, expecting him to leave and go play poker or do whatever the hell it is that people enjoy doing at Crown. I realise 1 and a half hours into "standing in front of Maccas and chill" that he's literally waiting for me outside my work for 3 and a half odd hours. I felt bad and so I scribbled my number down for him and told him to leave. He took it and said "I come back when you finish". I finish work and check my phone to come back to, I kid you not, 8 missed calls and numerous texts literally saying "Hey", "Babe", "I wanna see u", "I live near Southern Cross I come see u after work", "Why u no answer", "U have car?", "Wait u to young", "Where are u now?", "What u doing today", "What's ur fb". ABORT MISSION. I texted him in a panic and lied saying that I got picked up from work when in reality circumstances dictated that I had to wait till 7 for the first train to come. At 7 I left my workplace with my jacket draped on my head, ran to Southern Cross and boarded my train. One blocked number later and I have since resigned. Interesting people.
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Highlights for me:
- 1 and a half hours into "standing in front of Maccas and chill"
- the natural reaction after 6 unreplied text message is "wait u to young" :lol:
 
TheLoungeLizard said:
Seems a bit obvious maybe, but you didn't think to word up security to keep an eye out for him?
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I honestly thought he was harmless until I came back to all those texts and calls. Obviously was a bit weird that he was waiting around for me initially, but thought nothing of it except in hindsight
 
Catgirl said:
I honestly thought he was harmless until I came back to all those texts and calls. Obviously was a bit weird that he was waiting around for me initially, but thought nothing of it except in hindsight
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I mean the next day when you saw him coming over again, seems better than you quitting your job.
 
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