Certified Legendary Thread Chrisco Hampers - who in their right mind buys them ?

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Ah good was starting to get worried there that the steaks, loin chops, processed chicken, 6 frozen varieties of chips, 2 packs of pork sausage and 2 packs of beef sausage was not going to be enough for her.

Shes just opened a box and the first two things she's pulled out are a leg roast, which will compliment the steggles premium chicken fingers well and a meatloaf which isn't her personal favourite.

I'm no genius, but I've got a sneaking suspicion she'll give the meatloaf a go.
 
After the first 13 minutes of her opening box upon box of food. After the intro (WTF??) video (this one is 20 min) cuts to her sitting in front of a wall of unopened boxes "alright guys, I'm beginning to think I went a little bit overboard".

It's odd she hadn't come to this realisation that she had actually bought more frozen Chicken Kievs in weight than she weighs herself. But i suppose everyone's different.
 

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Okay got through another few minutes. Actually just tried to explain this to my mate and he just wrote back saying "haha good as", so he obviously doesn't understand.

She's just gotten through opening the box which includes sugar coffee etc

She assures us when she's reading out the list of things in the box that she does not drink instant coffee and will take it to work

Then ******* PLOT TWIST she brings out some mocha tea nestle things and says shes going to take them to work and she is undecided whether she is going to take the instant coffee to work or leave it at home.

She was also unnervingly happy about a box of crunchy nut cornflakes she received which assumingly she will serve in between the 4kg bowl of an assortment of frozen chips and the premium chicken fingers made by everyone's favourite, steggles.,

Truly gripping stuff this. Just hoping she gets nude soon because I got a serious amount of blood flowing down there. An overweight woman, opening boxes of food for 33 minutes is making me feel things I've not felt before.
 
I like how's there's a few moments midway through it all when she's pulling out the 150th piece of frozen shite, you can tell it kinda dawns on her how *in stupid the whole purchase was.

Anyway Aggie has a whole channel! Every week there's new videos!!! I think she might need her own spinoff GD thread.

Get to it RE, your cliff notes are amazing to read if we can't watch all.
 
Just got to a really touching part of the video where it shows that Chrisco isn't just another faceless corporation that only exists to make money of unbelievably stupid consumers.

They've left a gift in one of the boxes. You see Aggie almost beam as she knows this is the moment her loyalty gets rewarded. That Chrisco loves her as much as she loves potato gems.

Now I've seen Aggie open what seems like an almost never ending supply of low grade close to out of date food and Chrisco, ever charitable

sent her a white board magnet.

Aggie assures us that she'll put this on her fridge. One can only assume this will be the perfect place where she can remind herself about upcoming important dates.

I've attached the truly magic moment when she finds her free gift. If this didn't bring a tear to your eye, you not human

Christmas2
New Years
Chrisco Direct Debit begins
Pay Day Loan repayment (Chrisco went a little over budget)
Easter
Curves Gym monthly direct debit begins (working on that summer bod!)
Ring bank to cancel curves membership
Start prepping ideas for Chrisco Vid next year

Etc etc
 

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She does, make the comment that this "will be a very unhealthy Christmas", but as a woman who obviously lives a strict lifestyle, one of those cliche "body is a temple types" - i think it's more than OK for her to let go over the Christmas Period. She's earned it!

And what better way to celebrate than to open another box, and who'd of thunk it!!! 2 more slabs of coke. Which takes the count of soft drinks to somewhere around 80. I for one am relieved that she was actually able to order a drink that she likes herself. She showed her "Christmas spirit" earlier when she proudly showed off the 6 pack of Pepsi max, proclaiming "she doesn't drink this, buuuttttt my best friend does". Naturally I assume this is the same best friend who she is giving all of her Ferrero Rochers to as well.

You see, I think the pertinent point of Chrisco is it isn't just for the person who outlayed $1500 for 30 boxes of s**t house food. You can also gift some of the over priced food, and reward yourself with 2 Slabs of coke.

Chrisco really is a gift that reaches all.
 
Bunk Moreland said:
I like how's there's a few moments midway through it all when she's pulling out the 150th piece of frozen shite, you can tell it kinda dawns on her how ****in stupid the whole purchase was.

Anyway Aggie has a whole channel! Every week there's new videos!!! I think she might need her own spinoff GD thread.

Get to it RE, your cliff notes are amazing to read if we can't watch all.
Click to expand...
Do it R_E, i would sub the s**t out of that thread
 
Ever the budgeter, as she had realised that she was going to receive a box of free cleaning s**t which included a sponge on a stick - she didn't purchase the hamper where you receive 36 of them and a 2008 subscription to Zoo magazine (for the hubby ;)). Like sure - 4 packs of chicken Kievs, that makes sense - but if Chrisco reckon they're gonna put a fast one past her and she's going to spend $2 on a sponge, they've got another thing coming!

Uh oh we've just gotten to what I would now say is the most controversial part of the video since she flung herself across the flying fox in the intro which caused all kind of debate (rumoured body double? I'm on the fence).

Just after she goes through showing us what I think is around 6 litres of dishwashing detergent, you know what they say "you can never have to much dishwashing detergent", she opens up another box and starts going through telling us about a few beers I've not heard of before "Heinnekens", "Asahi" and "Corona" I think she said - some kind of craft beers from overseas, I'm not sure - but I'll tell you one thing! There's no way your local dans would sell a slab of em for $45. Anyway, back on to the controversy - she realises that Chrisco have included yet another free gift.

She pulls it out, some kind of red thing, looks pretty ******* useless I think to myself and all of a sudden her face changes from pure delight, to confusion

"A cooler bag" she proclaims "what the hell is this".

You can tell she thinks it cheap. You can tell this isn't up to her 200% RRP taste. And my first thought was

Oh get absolutely ****ed Chrisco, she's just bought about 90 cans of soft drink, 30 premium beers and you send her a cooler bag that will be lucky to hold 2 beers and a Pepsi max for her best friend. You know, I'm not usually like this - overly aggressive but Aggie, seeing her like that my flight or fight kicked in straight away.

But in what in an act I should not of been surprised by, Aggie is able to put this obvious slight behind her.

She knows she has loyal viewers, she know she has people watching this two part special of her and she knows we can't stand to see her upset.

She's amazing.


P.S I know what would cheer her up, a box full of Jams. You know what they say, "you can never have too much jam"
 
She opens another box of that weird international beer I was mentioning before and decides it's time for her to go out some of the stuff away.

It's times like these I wish I could be a fly on the wall. Ever since the instant coffee incident (DOES SHE LIKE IT OR NOT), I've not been able to fully relax.

She's opened what I would estimate to be around 20 boxes now, and she does a quick count and there are only another 8 left.

Gee, I hope she hasn't under ordered
:(
 

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Oh good, luckily, she has a spare room where she is able to store all this food. I've always found that buying so much overpriced food and drink that you actually have to dedicate a room of the house to it is not only smart, but also a good safe guard incase some kind of natural disaster hits.

All those other losers out there looting and there you are, 48 cans of coke, a box of crunchy nut and a small container of jam - not a caaarreee in the world.

In another move what some would describe as "odd" she's ordered a box full of Cordial. She advises that she doesn't drink cordial and Wayne, only drinks a limited amount - however again, thinking ahead, she lets us know that this purchase was mostly for when friends or family come over.

"You want something to drink?"
"Yes, tea would be nice!"
"Well I'm not offering tea, we've got ******* 9 bottles of cordial and no one in this house ******* drinks it, do you want Coola or Cola!!?!?"

Aggie is such a good host.
 
They've given her another free gift. A blank postcard that she's very excited about. She tells us "she's actually doing to use this, and send it to her grandma in Poland".

I can only imagine the joy the grandma will feel when that comes through.

She's gotten to the long awaited box of canned spaghetti and baked beans which she referred to earlier. Always a crowd pleaser on Christmas Night. At this stage she confirms she has indeed ran out of storage so she isn't unpacking the food. I can only assume it's going to be kind of like a "there's spaghetti in a box, in a can on the table, help yourself" kind of situation when guests arrive.

Oh hang on a minute. She's now saying that this is something will use often as they "love Mexican food". I thought maybe I'd missed a 'box reveal' but no, obviously she's referring to the spag in tomato sauce. Now have a sneaking suspicion her and Wayne might get stuck into some authentic Mexican once the camera goes off.
 

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At this stage, I fast forward, just a few minutes and I come to a point where she's holding a measuring tape.

I've got nothing to say about that. I've just got no idea why she bought a measuring tape.

Seemingly a trend has emerged toward the back half of the box reveals where almost every box is full of alcohol or coke. This one is various mixes with Jim Beam. She's got a developed pallet, so the fact that she also ordered 12 Wild Turkeys and Cokes doesn't matter because she will appreciate them both.

In regards to Jack Daniels White and Black she makes the comment I can only take as a passive aggressive dig at Wayne, "blacks are always better". It's amazing that even after opening 33 boxes of food and pretending that you are going to eat it for Christmas or give it away as gifts, that she is still able to be so subtle.

We've unfortunately come to the end of the box reveals, she now starts giving insight into why she ordered so much but assures us she will still eat it all and tells us that she has to go because she has to clean the house.

A great succinct video this was.

Not only arouses you sexually, but it's questions your previous misconceptions you may have had and also touches your inner emotional self.
 
Kudos to you Rough_Edges your commentary alone had me in tears. I shall now attempt to watch the video :thumbsu:
 
Rough_Edges said:
Haha, it was good fun.

Truly amazing video. Good luck !



I'm unsure I could put myself through that kind of mental pain. I can only imagine the s**t she blogs about
Click to expand...

Mostly about her issues trying to conceive.

Also animal welfare, she despises horse racing. Odd choice for somebody with a 12 month supply of dead animal flesh in her house.

She’s like an onion, Aggie. Many layers.
 
KardiniaPark said:
Out of breath Abbie apparently lives in Frankston and her BF has a car detailing business on the side. :$
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Car detailing out Frankston way. ;)
 
Silent Alarm said:


"Small veggie haul..."

Hmm
Click to expand...


On berries: "Im not trusting the frozen type anymore because they had meningococcal or something"

On bananas: "I love my bananas.. I don't like small bananas I prefer big ones. "
 
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