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Classic Paul Sherwin and Phil Ligget Quotes

Discussion in 'Cycling' started by r dub 19, Nov 10, 2008.

Put it out there
  1. r dub 19

    r dub 19 Suspended

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    i'll get the ball rolling with few of my favourties

    "he is riding like a man possessed"
    "i take my hat off to him"
    "he really is a man on a mission today"
    "frank looks over his shoulder and says to andy lets go bro"
    "it really is like swatting mosquitos"

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  2. AndSmithMustScore

    AndSmithMustScore Suspended

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    I love it when they talk about the castles and the like and give the history.

    Best sports commentators in the world bar none.

    Cycling fans are lucky to be blessed with them.
  3. Beamdogg

    Beamdogg Team Captain

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    "He climbs like an angel" - Pantani
  4. Wallaby

    Wallaby All Australian

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    A mate and I developed this a couple of years ago, during some long rides. It was originally posted on RoadBikeReview.com

    Yes, it is long......


    Phil: Well, it’s a beautiful day here in France as the peleton is keeping this breakaway under control. Currently, the four riders in the escape have a 10-minute lead, and I think they have a very good chance of staying away, unless the pack catches them.

    Paul: I agree Phil – However, I am concerned that if the peleton make up the time gap they will catch them, unless they don’t. Which would be absolutely unbelievable.

    Phil: At any rate, this is a beautiful part of France – look at that scenery! Fields, mountains and rivers. Apparently, France is the only country in the world that has fields, mountains and rivers.

    Paul: Unbelievable, the rivers around here.

    Phil: And now the riders are proceeding through the lovely little town of Scenic Vista, a delightful village at the foot of the Mountains, with a river running through it.

    Paul: Surrounded by…..

    Phil: Fields.

    Paul: Unbelievable. This was actually the little town where in 1743, Eddy Merckx actually rode his bike through the main street and out the other side without actually falling off. Should we tell our viewers who Eddy Merckx was?

    Phil: I think it is important to continue to talk to our viewers as if they have zero knowledge of bikes and bike racing, so, boys and girls, Eddy Merckx was a very good rider indeed.

    ………………………………………………………………………

    Phil: And now as they reach the steep part of the climb, it starts to hurt, the big boys put on the power, and the yellow jersey decides to show who’s boss and control the race from the front.

    Paul: This is what Lance Armstrong used to do, Lance Armstrong used to like to dominate and Lance Armstrong ..... (burbles on for 5 mins until oxygen deprivation strikes).

    Phil: The yellow jersey is now moving to the back of this leading pack, and, yes, he’s controlling the race from the back.

    Paul: This was a favourite Lance Armstrong tactic, and Lance Armstrong would……… (burble)

    Phil: What’s this, the yellow jersey has moved to the middle of the group! I think, yes, yes he is! He’s controlling the race from the middle! I can’t believe it!

    Paul: Lance Armstrong, Lance Armstrong, Lance Armstrong……….

    Phil: And out the back, Sprinter ThunderThighs from team NoHope has been dropped! The Tour de France has been blown to pieces here, there is carnage in the peleton, and there are riders strewn all over the Col! I haven’t seen anything like this since yesterday!

    Paul: Unbelievable. Oh, look, a river and some fields …..

    Phil: This is a beautiful part of France, Paul.

    Phil: Now the riders are descending from the top of the mountain, and they are going very fast. This is very dangerous, Paul……………

    Paul: You’re right Phil, I don’t think our viewers realise just how dangerous it is. They probably do not understand that if you fall off a bike at close to 100 K/Hr, wearing only a small plastic helmet and some skimpy lycra, you can actually hurt yourself.

    Phil: Well Paul, I’m getting slightly worried at this point because I still have not seen the obligatory shot of the motorbike speedo, showing how fast they are going, and without that… ahh, there it is. Page 12 of the script, thanks.

    Paul: Unbelievable.

    Phil: Do you think we should mention that these bikes have very narrow tyres?

    Paul: Well they have been using the same tyres for the last two weeks, and our viewers can see them for themselves, so, just to be sure, I think we should. Boys and girls, these riders are on very narrow tyres.

    Phil: Well, I can’t believe how narrow they are, Paul.

    Paul: Phil, I should just mention that we have had a report that Lance Armstrong may be watching this stage on television! That is incredible!

    Phil: Well, that’s fantastic Paul, I’m sure that, knowing that the guy who they worked their arses off for the last 7 years, and who still owns part of the team, is lying back on the couch, drinking beer, having just returned from some glamorous Hollywood shindig, the Team Discovery boys will be inspired to ride that little bit harder.

    Paul: Lance Armstrong, Lance Armstrong, Lance Armstrong……….

    ………………………………………………………………………………………

    Phil: And now the riders have wound it up fully for the sprint. Quickstep are leading out Tom Boonen, Milram are there for Eric Zabel, This is incredible! I can’t see Robbie McEwen yet…

    Paul: Phil, Phil, I’ve just heard that Gabriel Gate is cooking a seafood and chicken dish sautéed in an impenetrable accent!

    Phil: Ooh, that sounds nice, Paul. What wine would you serve with that?

    Paul: Indecipherable.

    Phil: That’s fantastic, and I can’t believe it. And now there’s only 200 metres to go, they’re all over the place, Robbie McEwen’s not there, he’s been washed away……….

    Paul: What do you mean, washed away? You always say ‘washed away’. Why don’t you just say ‘He can’t keep, up’, but no, Mr Clever Cliché gives us ‘washed away’ ….

    Phil: Shut up Paul, there’s only 50 metres to go, and Thor Hushovd is in front and here comes Tom Boonen, and Alessandro Petacchi is coming on, and Mario Cipollini is flying…

    Paul: Phil….

    Phil: And Mario Cipollini is going to win it, but here comes Eddie Merckx, and Bernard Hinault, and Miguel Indurain is coming hard and Marco Pantani is going to win, and at the line it’s Robbie McEwen!! Well, where did he come from? Pops up out of nowhere, and he’s such a little fellow, isn’t he Paul?

    Paul: Well have to check the replay to sort that one out Phil.

    Phil: You’re right Paul, so on the replay at 200 metres to go, there’s Robbie McEwen with a 3-length lead (Pause)

    Phil: At 100 metres to go, there’s Robbie McEwen with a 3-length lead…………

    Paul: He’s only a little fellow, isn’t he Phil? Unbelievable. (Pause)

    Phil: And at the line, Robbie McEwen wins by 3 lengths. Well, where on earth did he come from, he just pops up right at the death. Such a little fellow, too – there’s nothing of him. Now Paul, any change to the Leading riders?

    Paul: No.

    Phil: King of the Mountains:

    Paul: Nothing.

    Phil: Green Jersey?

    Paul: No.

    Phil. Well that is just amazing and fantastic and I can’t believe it. A stage where basically nothing happened. Tomorrow’s stage goes from somewhere pretty to somewhere else pretty, and is mostly flat except for the hilly bits, and I think is a good chance for a breakaway unless the peleton blows up on the climbs and there will probably be a bunch sprint. Who do you think is going to win the race, Paul?

    Paul: Are we still broadcasting to America?

    Phil: Yes

    Paul: Lance Armstrong.

    Phil: Fantastic!
    FlyingBurittoBro likes this.
  5. Fender

    Fender Suspended

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    LMFAO. Brillaint.

    You forgot "Team Highroad, well actually now Team Columbia changed names just days before the start of the race" and repeat every 5 minutes, usually Phil but Paul can throw it in every now and then.

    Also "Nobody wants to be at the back of the pelton, dangerous, dangerous place to be" also on repeat every 10 minutes.
  6. Bond.ShaneBond

    Bond.ShaneBond Team Captain

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    Haha Wallaby that is so true. I think Paul has to mention Armstrong every day or he thinks he will die.

    Another classic is after a drug bust Phil saying he is confident that all the cheats are now out of the race. He says that every time without fail.

    They really are terrible commentators once you have watched more than one day of cycling.
  7. bigburger

    bigburger All Australian

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    "As the French would say today he is riding with great penache"

    "He's cracked. He's hit the red zone"

    You hear those every tour. And to Bond.ShaneBond how can you say they are bad commentators. Imagine having to talk about the same thing for 6 hours a day. Phil and Paul are masters of keeping people entertained when theres nothing to talk about.
  8. Bond.ShaneBond

    Bond.ShaneBond Team Captain

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    I don't deny that it is a tough gig, but the fact is that there is so much to talk about which they just refuse to discuss.

    Then you get a guy like Matt Keenan on by himself at the start of the race which is really when nothing happens at all and he is so much better than them. He knows more than thirty riders names, he knows their careers and he discusses tactics in an intelligent manner. Eurosport also provide excellent commentators who don't talk down to their audience like they have just flicked on by accident and don't know what they are watching.

    Add to that the amount of ludicrous predictions they make which never come true and their failure to correctly call a bunch sprint finish in living memory and you can start to see why I am fed up with them and hope they get moved on very soon.
  9. r dub 19

    r dub 19 Suspended

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    I think Paul and Phil do a great job , not only do they give you information about the tour and previous tours they give you a history lesson on france:thumbsu:
  10. Warwick

    Warwick Club Legend

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    These guys are awesome. They are half the reason I turn on the Tour for 10 minutes and end up watching an entire 3 hour stage.

    Although I do love how they say (almost without fail every stage) that the leaders have just about a big enough lead to hold on and win the stage. They very rarely do however.
  11. AndSmithMustScore

    AndSmithMustScore Suspended

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    Matt Keenan is utterly boring and average.


    What you forget is that Liggett and Sherwin are commentating to a far broader audience than Keenan or Eurosport.

    They have to keep it simplified because they are talking to an audience who's only interest is once a year in the tour.

    And most of those people actually do watch it for the scenery as much as the actual race itself.

    And in that regard Liggett and Sherwin do a great job to cater for that audience.

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  12. bigburger

    bigburger All Australian

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    That and Sean Kelly is impossible to understand. He has one of the more thicker Irish accents I have heard.
  13. Bond.ShaneBond

    Bond.ShaneBond Team Captain

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    Re Keenan that is just so wrong. Explain what akes him utterly boring and average please.

    And with Liggett and Sherwen catering for the once a year fan, that is fine, but why do they have to do it every day for three weeks? First couple of days okay, talk about the thin wheels and drafting and whatever, but after that they don't have to keep going on and on about the basics. Then they can start talking about interesting things. And they can learn some of the riders names as well. And call a bunch sprint correctly. You can't deny that they make shitty predictions and an endless stream of stuff-ups.
  14. Wahooti Fandango

    Wahooti Fandango Club Legend

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    "He's a beast of a man." Paul Sherwan, normally in reference to Jens Voigt

    "He's got those big pistons going." Paul Sherwan, also in reference to Jens Voigt.

    Paul definitely has some serious man love for Jens.
  15. Spikey

    Spikey Club Legend

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  16. Demons 1964

    Demons 1964 Draftee

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    "And out of nowhere comes who else but Robbie McEwen! He just suddenly appears as if he's taken off Harry Potter's invisibility cloak!! McEwen makes his move and wins the stage!"
  17. sirjames

    sirjames Team Captain

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    If you haven't played Paul and Phil bingo during the Tour you haven't lived:

    http://www.geocities.com/fourlakes_99/home/cycling/pnpbingo.htm

    Sean Kelly is a shocker. He will be talking about someone having no chance at winning the bike race and 2 minutes later will be remarking about the same rider "having a chance today".

    Matt Keenan knows his stuff but unfortunately he comes across as being a bit blah. Maybe thats a matter of him developing his ability to commentate and engage with his audience.

    But your right, bond.shane bond, Liggett could not call a bunch kick if his life depended on it.
  18. Fender

    Fender Suspended

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    No 'and the hammers dropped' on there james, disgrace not even true Phil.
  19. lookkg386

    lookkg386 Draftee

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    Paul Sherwin regarding most climbs-

    "and this is a beast of a climb'
    "this climb is intermable"
  20. Phone

    Phone Premiership Player

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    "This is one Schleck sandwich that will give them indigestion.." will go down in history
  21. grizzlym

    grizzlym Admin

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    Undoubtedly. I liked the 'suitcase of courage' too.
  22. primeytimey

    primeytimey Rookie

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    "and there's Alberto Contador, dancing on the pedals"
  23. primeytimey

    primeytimey Rookie

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    that phil and paul script + phil and paul bingo game are absolute Gold!
  24. Forward Press

    Forward Press Moderator

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    lol I notice 'suitcase of courage' is at the bottom left corner of the very last bingo sheet.
  25. Striker475

    Striker475 BigFooty Tanker

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    'Cadel Evans has won the Tour de France'

    Quite like that one.