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[Beerfish]

I think I've been depressed for at least two decades. Never been to a doc about it. I'm one of those that doesn't know how to go about helping myself even though it's right in front of me

Hate to sound like Captain Obvious, but maybe you should go and talk to your doctor about it mate?

 

[35Saints35]

I think I've been depressed for at least two decades. Never been to a doc about it. I'm one of those that doesn't know how to go about helping myself even though it's right in front of me

I would go to a doctor . Or write down a set of goals you would like to do . Make them realistic . Then write down how you would do it . Then do it . It sounds easy but breaking it down into sections makes any changes in thoughts or behaviours seem more gradual ..

 

[Doss]

I think I've been depressed for at least two decades. Never been to a doc about it. I'm one of those that doesn't know how to go about helping myself even though it's right in front of me

Knowing you have a problem is one thing. Being proactive about it is the hardest step and also the most important.

 

[BloodRet]

Knowing you have a problem is one thing. Being proactive about it is the hardest step and also the most important.

I think improving by yourself is more fulfilling and spiritually appealing, but there is definitely no shame whatsoever for seeking help and is probably the best thing to do in some circumstances.

 

[raman]

I think I've been depressed for at least two decades. Never been to a doc about it. I'm one of those that doesn't know how to go about helping myself even though it's right in front of me

Do it. Even decent GPs are good to talk to in my experience, and a GP you get to know and trust over a few sessions will likely be able to refer you to a therapist/psych who works well for you.

 

[sherb]

I've suffered mental health issues, often severe, for the best part of 30 years. The suicide of a close family member set it all off, although in hindsight it was clearly there before.

It's been a long battle and still is. You deal with anger, sorrow, lack of motivation, self-isolation and so many other things it isn't funny. But I am doing okay.

The ratio of male/female suicides in this country is something like 80/20. Men are notoriously bad for opening up and talking about their problems compared to women, hence the shocking discrepancy.

As someone who knows this subject very well, I can only endorse those in this discussion who have said it is essential to talk and seek support. Just being able to get things off your chest can be a huge release in itself, where as the opposite (bottling it all up) is fraught with danger.

 

[KO_KO]

Anxiety sufferer here, I am really open about my struggles that I only developed about 14 months ago. Work / life stress tipped me over and I went to a dark place. I really suggest if you aren't feeling great for a long period, go see a doc or a psychologist and if it doen't help, find another one that does.

Most blokes I have spoken about it have had something themselves but we don't talk about it because we're "blokes".

Great thread

 

[Tiges1229]

I've suffered mental health issues, often severe, for the best part of 30 years. The suicide of a close family member set it all off, although in hindsight it was clearly there before.

It's been a long battle and still is. You deal with anger, sorrow, lack of motivation, self-isolation and so many other things it isn't funny. But I am doing okay.

The ratio of male/female suicides in this country is something like 80/20. Men are notoriously bad for opening up and talking about their problems compared to women, hence the shocking discrepancy.

As someone who knows this subject very well, I can only endorse those in this discussion who have said it is essential to talk and seek support. Just being able to get things off your chest can be a huge release in itself, where as the opposite (bottling it all up) is fraught with danger.

Don't know you mate but hope things in your life are going ok for you

 

[Tiges1229]

Anxiety sufferer here, I am really open about my struggles that I only developed about 14 months ago. Work / life stress tipped me over and I went to a dark place. I really suggest if you aren't feeling great for a long period, go see a doc or a psychologist and if it doen't help, find another one that does.

Most blokes I have spoken about it have had something themselves but we don't talk about it because we're "blokes".

Great thread

Hope your doing well mate

 

[sherb]

Don't know you mate but hope things in your life are going ok for you

Thank you mate, that is very kind of you!

 

[Tiges1229]

Thank you mate, that is very kind of you!

No worries

 

[KO_KO]

Hope your doing well mate

Thanks bud, all good, have a setback every now and then but it's a journey.

 

[Tiges1229]

Thanks bud, all good, have a setback every now and then but it's a journey.

No worries mate good to hear your doing ok.

 

[DERIBERATE]

Just a quick note that everyone in this thread is positively chief

 

[mightymouse75]

Been depressed and ridden with anxiety for 30 odd years. Not that you would know by looking at me or my life situation. But when your lying in bed thinking of ways to top yourself you know there are issues. Tried the pills. Tried to bury my thinking with work.
Turned 40 and I'm finally finding way in life, to me it's the sum of many things, like talking to people you trust and living in the present. Act, belong & commit. Love yourself unconditionally. Don't judge yourself or other people. You are not you thoughts. Don't give up. Check out eckart tolle on youtube. I struggled reading his writing but he is a good speaker. If that dosnt work keep searching for your answer. Because underneath the bullshit life's a pretty amazing adventure. Love and peace out my fellow humans.

 

[Cmarsh]

I've suffered mental health issues, often severe, for the best part of 30 years. The suicide of a close family member set it all off, although in hindsight it was clearly there before.

It's been a long battle and still is. You deal with anger, sorrow, lack of motivation, self-isolation and so many other things it isn't funny. But I am doing okay.

The ratio of male/female suicides in this country is something like 80/20. Men are notoriously bad for opening up and talking about their problems compared to women, hence the shocking discrepancy.

As someone who knows this subject very well, I can only endorse those in this discussion who have said it is essential to talk and seek support. Just being able to get things off your chest can be a huge release in itself, where as the opposite (bottling it all up) is fraught with danger.

The disparity in male/female suicide rates is because men typically engage in more lethal means of suicide methods compared to women, even though statistically women engage in far more self harm behaviour than men.

 

[GotTheGoodes]

Fantastic thread The_Wookie.

We may argue to the point we want to throttle each other sometimes but in essence we are all the same passionate footy loving fans and need to look out for each other.

The outcome of a debate or argument on BF is dwarfed by the importance of the person/people on the other end of the keys you are communicating with.

So in saying that I hope everyone reading this thread is doing well into the new year. For those who are not I urge you to seek the help of others who care (they are there and they will help).

I also hope that this year we can all aim to show more empathy and respect toward one another, no matter the level of dislike or disagreement.

Looking forward to arguing about how awesome the mighty South Melbourne Bloods are this new year!!

 

[mightymouse75]

The disparity in male/female suicide rates is because men typically engage in more lethal means of suicide methods compared to women, even though statistically women engage in far more self harm behaviour than men.

I beleive women also find it easier to open up to 1 another. Haven't you noticed how much women talk. Lol. A lot of men like myself are more likely to bottle it all up until it explodes.☺

 

[DERIBERATE]

I beleive women also find it easier to open up to 1 another. Haven't you noticed how much women talk. Lol. A lot of men like myself are more likely to bottle it all up until it explodes.☺

A lot of gender based arguments are silly and frankly damaging, but on the matter of mental health... yes, absolutely, gender roles exist and they're of real consequence. Men are expected to be tough, and perceived weakness is punished. It can be subtle exclusion and deference to "stronger" men, but at worst I've witnessed workplaces where the bloke carrying a problem was outright targeted. Sadly, yes, there's genuine sharks amongst us. Guys, if you're up against that, * them. Okay? They're the biggest pussy in the room.

I'm continually astounded by the value judgements made of people suffering from mental illness - that of being weak and lesser people - and the actual reality that these people are some of the bravest people amongst us.

Keeping chipping away boys and girls. If s**t gets tough there's someone to talk to, even if they can be hard to find. Seek and you will find. And don't be ******* embarrassed, being the tough guy isn't what it's made out to be.

 

[Kingfish73]

When I had my 2 kids, massive reno's (large mortgage), traveling every week for work, work pressures plus drinking too much - I started to suffer from some anxiety and signs of depression. Too many things converged at once. Took the step to see specialists and took me on a good road. Still have some ups and downs, but life can be tough and takes guts to say no, I want to change. My advice is seek help now - what do you have to loose? My mum is now suffering from severe anxiety after so many years of sweeping problems under the mat and not speaking her mind. It is hard to see her not being capable of facing anything outside the four walls of her house. But she is now doing something about it and taking small steps. Each day gets a little better....this then creates a precedence to seek positivity and change. My only other advice, have a hobby!!!! My wife, kids, family give me heaps for taking remote fishing trips with keen anglers like me. But my god it provides me therapy and makes me happy. Most friends and family I have seen with some form of depression and anxiety have either given up on their hobbies or never had any. Everyone needs their own time - regardless of being married or whatever. IMO you need to do at least one thing every year that is on your bucket list!

 

[King Notorious]

Been suffering from depression for 4 years now and I can't begin to tell you the deep emotional and physical pain it puts on you. Every day feels like an emotional battle with the man in the mirror, the same person who is your greatest asset. The worst part is that it creeps up on you when you least expect it, and the people surrounding you begin to question your sanity. And I will admit that I have had those 'thoughts' but by the grace of God, never acted upon them for which I am grateful. It's not easy to confess it and it's not easy to talk about because it seems to be frowned upon and after a while, you feel alone and unappreciated. But it is in those deep moments of adversity, you must realise that the feeling of loneliness is just an illusion.

Over time I seeked help from Beyond Blue (i.e the Dr Brian Ironwood really provided some much needed comic relief after the dark periods) and of course saw local medics about what I can do to cure my depression. It is not eradicated and never will be, but I am conquering my battle one day at a time because I had the courage to do something about it. I urge people who have the same problem to please seek help and talk about it with your family, Beyond Blue staff or even just your close mate. Depression and anxiety are no joke, so people are there for you and love you for your courage.

 

[The_Wookie]

Just a quick note that everyone in this thread is positively chief

Originally this thread was a sort of Holiday awareness message over Christmas and New year, but its going to stay a bit longer. thanks very much for everyone who has contributed so far, and in such a constructive fashion.

from my perspective, I believed until a year or two ago that depression was all about attitude, and could be solved by a simple change in your outlook and environment (to make it worse, I was brought up by religious fanatics who believed that depression was a demon to be cast out!). Some time back a close friend of mine went through a hard time, and i learnt a few things that shook me out of my ignorance, and helped me during my own dark hours mid last year. Education is important.

 

[DERIBERATE]

Originally this thread was a sort of Holiday awareness message over Christmas and New year, but its going to stay a bit longer. thanks very much for everyone who has contributed so far, and in such a constructive fashion.

from my perspective, I believed until a year or two ago that depression was all about attitude, and could be solved by a simple change in your outlook and environment (to make it worse, I was brought up by religious fanatics who believed that depression was a demon to be cast out!). Some time back a close friend of mine went through a hard time, and i learnt a few things that shook me out of my ignorance, and helped me during my own dark hours mid last year. Education is important.

The common disagreement I see between sufferers and non sufferers is simply because those who criticise the illness don't have the illness. And often when challenged on it the ignorant rebuttal is to just claim it's not real, only attitude. This isn't just bogan attitude, I encounter it in people all the way up the chain, even in health. For some it's far too easy to dismiss the suffering of another as being weak, with some self serving platitude of how they once had something bad happen but their superior attitude won them through. It's embarrassing to see the "advice" that's levelled at people. Probably the worst I heard socially was "they're not depressed, they just ****ed their life up." It's just so unnecessary. Even if the science is below these people... surely basic human empathy isn't? Maybe this person who stuffed their life up would feel better and more positive if people weren't on the sidelines scoring cheap points for no gain?

 

[Kingfish73]

The common disagreement I see between sufferers and non sufferers is simply because those who criticise the illness don't have the illness. And often when challenged on it the ignorant rebuttal is to just claim it's not real, only attitude. This isn't just bogan attitude, I encounter it in people all the way up the chain, even in health. For some it's far too easy to dismiss the suffering of another as being weak, with some self serving platitude of how they once had something bad happen but their superior attitude won them through. It's embarrassing to see the "advice" that's levelled at people. Probably the worst I heard socially was "they're not depressed, they just stuffed their life up." It's just so unnecessary. Even if the science is below these people... surely basic human empathy isn't? Maybe this person who stuffed their life up would feel better and more positive if people weren't on the sidelines scoring cheap points for no gain?

Chances are it will hit them one day and only then will they admit their ignorance. Half the population go through it once in their life in some form.

 

[Mootsy]

That is because a lot of people in Oz are all about ego, being tough, stiff upper lip and banter, and so admitting weakness is seen as a real problem....particularly in Oz..

It's like when I went out to dinner with friends and family, there isn't a lot of empathy there, it's just all about ego boosting, the whole time and ego does actually take people a long way so people live in that world because it works so well for them in their careers and is tied into confidence, status and humour as well...

You can't blame them for sticking to that world of existence because it works for them...

It's rare to meet people who are a bit more open minded then that though, in my experience...but they're out there..

It's rare to have a real a conversation about anything that doesn't involve banter or ego boosting..

It's also rare to have a proper two-way conversation where the other person actually listens and doesn't turn everything back to them...

How many times do you talk to someone and instead of talking about a subject, one person says something and the other just changed the subject to what they want right away, that's not a conversation, that's the life of "I"...and quite narcissistic..

It's very rare to talk about subject with someone that involves actual listening skills and that flows really well, it usually just gets flipped back and forth or goes directly into one upping each other..