Health Depression

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WCFaithful said:
yep I agree. Talking about things certainly helps and it can especially help those who don't even know themselves why they are feeling down. I found that once I started talking it was pretty easy (apart from constantly breaking down in tears and trying to pull myself together of course) but even allowing the floodgates to open was relief to an extent. One thing I will say though is that I spoke to several different counsellors before I found one that I felt understood me so don't think the first person you talk to is going to solve all your problems, it doesn't work like that. It may take a bit of time until you find a counsellor you really feel is of benefit to you personally.

For a lot of years I didn't talk to anyone about my inner demons and that was probably a mistake. People who feel depressed should never think that seeking professional help is a sign of weakness if anything for those that are feeling depressed actually taking that plunge and finding help for themselves is a sign of strength as we all know how hard it is.
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Can't emphasize this point enough. Some folk may become discouraged after an unhelpful session with a counsellor/psychologist. Like any profession there's good and bad ones, shop around 'til you find a "good fit"
 
Jay C said:
As hard as it is to do when you are feeling down, sometimes you have to talk to someone.

If like me you find it difficult to talk to those close to you about what is happening maybe try and arrange an appointment with a psychologist. Only recently have I started talking to a psychologist and it has really helped.
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Who the hell do you talk to thou? Could do a sh&$ load of damage talking to the wrong person and having it go down wrong. Fact is some people react badly, are unsure of how to react, are unsympathetic, or get sick and worn down hearing the same story for years and years. (depression in many cases is life long).

Psychologists are only listening because you are paying them and will look at things through the filter of their business. (Hard to shop around when they all cost a bomb). Yes there are good ones about but like any job some merely go through the motions.

Life can be very difficult at times I guess and it is up to people how they choose to handle it I guess. Really is no hard and fast rule.
 
I've never spoken to a friend about my problems. Apart from my worry that people wouldn't be able to handle it and I don't like to burden other people, I like talking to psychologists and counselors because I know they're paid and it's their job to listen. It also helps that we don't personally know eachother as well, but I find that factor is also hard when talking about other specific things.
 

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TheFreshBanana said:
I've never spoken to a friend about my problems. Apart from my worry that people wouldn't be able to handle it and I don't like to burden other people, I like talking to psychologists and counselors because I know they're paid and it's their job to listen. It also helps that we don't personally know each other as well, but I find that factor is also hard when talking about other specific things.
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Good point. Didn't consider that. Can give straight down the line treatment/advice without having any established ideas/prejudices based on knowing you. Best of luck anyways.
 
Guys, I think I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Anyone have any tips for coping?
 
I've never been diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder but I often wonder if that's what I suffer too. I seem to always be at my lowest during winter and notice my moods lifting when the sun comes out. SAD or just the winter blues?
If you are a SAD sufferer apparently there is a type of desk lamp you can get that gives off a different light which is supposed to mimic sunlight, that and as nicky already posted vitamin D supplements. DO NOT get your supplements through Hirdy though or depression might end up being the least of your problems ;)
 
nicky said:
Vitamin D
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I wish it were that easy. I have no motivation to leave the house. In the last 2 weeks, I've been outdoors twice and each time it was lovely. But times like right now, I know I need to get outdoors to improve my mental health but literally can't force myself out the door.

WCFaithful said:
I've never been diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder but I often wonder if that's what I suffer too. I seem to always be at my lowest during winter and notice my moods lifting when the sun comes out. SAD or just the winter blues?

If you are a SAD sufferer apparently there is a type of desk lamp you can get that gives off a different light which is supposed to mimic sunlight, that and as nicky already posted vitamin D supplements. DO NOT get your supplements through Hirdy though or depression might end up being the least of your problems ;)
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I might have to look into one of those lamps. During summer, I'm an incredibly vibrant and happy person. As soon as winter hits, I'm an awful person to be around.
 
I hate people sometimes.

So one of my friends and I have a fight. She's going away, so I message her "Message me when you get back, and we'll talk about it then." So TWO WEEKS after she gets back she messaged me saying "Sorry I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to upset you." Well not messaging me at all when I know you're back is going to upset me! I mean it's not that hard, if you didn't want to talk you could have had the common decency to say so!

And then there's my best friend, who says that i'm rude and possessive, but the majority of other people say she is overreacting and that i'm not. I can sometimes be possessive sure, but that's more because I don't have many friends at all, and you know that. And now you say that you don't want to see me. After my grandfather has just passed away, my best friend says she doesn't want to see me, and doesn't know if she wants to be friends. But she's ready to just go "sleep over" at some jerk's house. She's said he's a jerk, and emotionally dead, but oh they're friends so that's fine. But I act a bit possessive sometimes, and she doesn't want to be friends. Figure that one out.

I'm not exactly popular. I don't have many friends, because I don't trust people anymore after what's happened to me. People learn that you're suicidal and depressed and they leave and don't care. And the only one who did care, decides to steal your girlfriend, and she cheats on you with him. Yeah great "friend."

I'm so sick of the people who are selfish and just do what's best for them. I always try to help other people, and get stepped on all the time. But I can't stop because I have zero confidence and I hate myself for it. I means i'm not social at all, and can't talk to anyone. I have no guy friends, my only friends are girls, and I don't know why I can't be friends with guys anymore. Is it because i'm too emotional and so I feel like i'm just lying about myself around them? Maybe. I don't even know anymore.

It's not that people don't like me. They nothing me. I pretty much just float along, always middle of the pack. I mean at work I just show up, and it's just waiting so it's not anything big. At my course i'm just middle of the pack, not that good, not that bad, just middle. And I have to deal with all the work. It's a music course so whenever I say I have so much work people just laugh, but there are so many assignments. Producing songs, recording and producing the sound for a short film, essays, research assignments, and I can't get motivated to do most of them, except for recording songs. Which in an audio production course, is only one of the assignments! Figure that out! And i'll be damned if any girl would show any romantic interest in me let's not even go there! :p

I want to be able to talk to people, but I find it hard to function in society. I freeze up when people try to talk to me, and they interpret it as me not wanting to talk to them, which most of the time isn't true, it's just that I can hardly carry a conversation. I've tried going to social anxiety groups, reading stuff online, seeing a counsellor, but it's hardly helped at all. For some reason the only time i'm actually semi-confident that's not with my friends is when i'm on stage, playing music. Maybe if I get a weekly gig somewhere then it will help me not feel so down.

I really needed to get that out there. Rant over.
 
My father just died(about two weeks ago) and i'm not sure how to deal with it. My family has a rare genetic neurological disorder called Cadasil and he died from this condition and so did my grandfather around the same age of 50. I guess I just feel weird knowing that theres a 50/50 chance of me being severely affected by this condition once i reach my 40s (earlier or later its pretty unpredictable). I know I could die anytime from anything but seeing him suffer like he did for over 10 years has really screwed with my head recently. I haven't told anybody about this (not even my Girlfriend or Mother) and i'm not sure how I could approach the situation with them. It's kind of put me in a pretty depressive state recently and Uni just doesn't even feel worth it at the moment kinda like why am I bothering with this?

Anyways just needed some place to vent about it all.
 
timtamWB said:
I hate people sometimes.
And then there's my best friend, who says that i'm rude and possessive, but the majority of other people say she is overreacting and that i'm not. I can sometimes be possessive sure, but that's more because I don't have many friends at all, and you know that. And now you say that you don't want to see me. After my grandfather has just passed away, my best friend says she doesn't want to see me, and doesn't know if she wants to be friends. But she's ready to just go "sleep over" at some jerk's house. She's said he's a jerk, and emotionally dead, but oh they're friends so that's fine. But I act a bit possessive sometimes, and she doesn't want to be friends. Figure that one out.

I'm not exactly popular. I don't have many friends, because I don't trust people anymore after what's happened to me. People learn that you're suicidal and depressed and they leave and don't care. And the only one who did care, decides to steal your girlfriend, and she cheats on you with him. Yeah great "friend."

I'm so sick of the people who are selfish and just do what's best for them. I always try to help other people, and get stepped on all the time. But I can't stop because I have zero confidence and I hate myself for it. I means i'm not social at all, and can't talk to anyone. I have no guy friends, my only friends are girls, and I don't know why I can't be friends with guys anymore. Is it because i'm too emotional and so I feel like i'm just lying about myself around them? Maybe. I don't even know anymore.

It's not that people don't like me. They nothing me. I pretty much just float along, always middle of the pack. I mean at work I just show up, and it's just waiting so it's not anything big. At my course i'm just middle of the pack, not that good, not that bad, just middle. And I have to deal with all the work. It's a music course so whenever I say I have so much work people just laugh, but there are so many assignments. Producing songs, recording and producing the sound for a short film, essays, research assignments, and I can't get motivated to do most of them, except for recording songs. Which in an audio production course, is only one of the assignments! Figure that out! And i'll be damned if any girl would show any romantic interest in me let's not even go there! :p

I want to be able to talk to people, but I find it hard to function in society. I freeze up when people try to talk to me, and they interpret it as me not wanting to talk to them, which most of the time isn't true, it's just that I can hardly carry a conversation. I've tried going to social anxiety groups, reading stuff online, seeing a counsellor, but it's hardly helped at all. For some reason the only time i'm actually semi-confident that's not with my friends is when i'm on stage, playing music. Maybe if I get a weekly gig somewhere then it will help me not feel so down.

I really needed to get that out there. Rant over.
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That all sounds rather hard. You seem to be in a bit of a hole. If I can offer anything it would be that: While I am not a fan of pro quid pro endless arguments in friendships and relationships and arguing who did what to who, there still is give and take in every relationship. If you feel exhausted and deflated by it all (and it sounds like you do) then there is nothing wrong with taking a step back. Let a friend contact you if you are not up to it. You said in your post you can't stop helping people due to confidence but this can bring problems of its own. In that you may solve one problem in cultivating people around you but it can develop about 10 other problems you had no idea would eventuate.

The employment/course one is interesting. By that I assume you are at uni/tafe/college of some sort so are early to mid 20s? Being middle high or low end of the road means absolutely jack s**t. By all means accumulate and develop as much skill as possible to make yourself in high demand and employable. But this needs to be developed in the context of making yourself able to legitimately work for yourself long term or at the very least be high paid in what you do. If not down the track you are in for a world of pain. So just worry about doing what needs to be done but keep in mind what your end goals are. Sounds harsh but at uni/whatever you can't afford to cruise along without it ending in basically the ability to make money.

Also any dramas with friends whatever, that don't involve you. Just stay out. Easier said then done but your stress levels will be preserved in the long run.
 

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dales.girl38 said:
Small update. I've been needing sleeping pills to sleep every night, on the nights where I've tried to sleep without them, it's taken at least 3 hours to fall asleep and I'll then have a nightmare filled sleep and wake up at least twice during the night. My doctor has switched up my prescription to Fluvoxamine, so that I hopefully don't have the sleeping problems anymore. I get to start them in about 5 days when my current lot run out.

I heard on the radio today that they're saying antidepressants are linked with weight gain and type 2 diabetes. Do you think that it's more a matter of people comfort eating while they're depressed, and that causing the weight gain and diabetes, rather than the antidepressants as such being linked?
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The type of anti depressant can slow your metabolism causing weight gain. Also depending on the type of depression if excess cortisol is released into your system that can eat into your muscles, interfere with insulin uptake and cause you to get fat. Hard to test for exactly what causes weight gain. You could get a blood sugar test done.

Also if you mix alcohol with sleeping pills the effect that generates will leave you starving the next day.
 
Question for those on here:
At what point do you fold and admit to yourself things are not going to get better with life, in fact are rapidly deteriorating and take steps to prevent any further damage/acknowledge things are on a slippery slope and adjust to this being a permanent thing?

By this I mean a common refrain for life and I guess instinct is optimism is things will get better one day/this is a slump and down period but hang in for the change. Well this doesn't always happen. At what point is it prudent to admit defeat and plan and set up life accordingly.
 
Run n Spread said:
Question for those on here:
At what point do you fold and admit to yourself things are not going to get better with life, in fact are rapidly deteriorating and take steps to prevent any further damage/acknowledge things are on a slippery slope and adjust to this being a permanent thing?

By this I mean a common refrain for life and I guess instinct is optimism is things will get better one day/this is a slump and down period but hang in for the change. Well this doesn't always happen. At what point is it prudent to admit defeat and plan and set up life accordingly.
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I get the feeling you haven't really experienced being suicidal.

The thing is that those that often suffer depression aren't going to have a stable relationships, or that many stable friendships. And if you're constantly in that down period then those people will start to get sick of you, it happened with me, and they left.

If you ever gave up the feeling that things might get better, if you ever give up that hope, then you will kill yourself. Why would you bother staying around? You can't plan for your life being miserable. You just can't think of that your mind's in a haze. So you take the only way out where you won't have to deal with the pain.
 
timtamWB said:
I get the feeling you haven't really experienced being suicidal.

The thing is that those that often suffer depression aren't going to have a stable relationships, or that many stable friendships. And if you're constantly in that down period then those people will start to get sick of you, it happened with me, and they left.

If you ever gave up the feeling that things might get better, if you ever give up that hope, then you will kill yourself. Why would you bother staying around? You can't plan for your life being miserable. You just can't think of that your mind's in a haze. So you take the only way out where you won't have to deal with the pain.
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Then you thought wrong. No way I'm going into too much detail on here thou.

You're second paragraph I half get and sort of relate. What do you mean by stable friendship? Does family count or are you talking about long standing friendship? Forming relationships?

s**t you're third paragraph is pretty blunt. You say you can't plan your life been miserable. Yes you can. Sure you don't want to be miserable 24-7 but the happiness concept is a wank few people can afford. Those just focused on survival need to do just that and live according to the circumstance they find themselves in.
 
I don't think you can admit defeat. At least, a person who is depressed and suicidal cannot admit defeat. Because defeat isn't just lowering your standards of life, defeat is death.

When I've been suicidal and had been close to admitting defeat, I did have to change my perspective on life and my current situation. I had to accept, okay this is what the situation is, and maybe the goals I have now are unobtainable at this point. Although I change my perspective and goals, in the end, it's all for the same reason. To achieve a standard of life that allows me to be happy, and free from depression. Otherwise, if I don't achieve this, then I don't see the point in living.
 
Temporary shitty living situations can make you feel suicidal too, or at least they can push you over the edge into feeling that way. I know that I will be able to move house soon, but at the moment it's ******* miserable living where I am, due to various people. Can't wait to GTFO.
 
Run n Spread said:
Then you thought wrong. No way I'm going into too much detail on here thou.

You're second paragraph I half get and sort of relate. What do you mean by stable friendship? Does family count or are you talking about long standing friendship? Forming relationships?

s**t you're third paragraph is pretty blunt. You say you can't plan your life been miserable. Yes you can. Sure you don't want to be miserable 24-7 but the happiness concept is a wank few people can afford. Those just focused on survival need to do just that and live according to the circumstance they find themselves in.
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Ah fair enough, just the way you phrased your question it seemed like it.

I was mainly talking about long standing friendships. There are a lot of people that aren't very close to their family, and don't have many friends. From my own experience and what i've seen of a few people, those that are depressed can sometimes end friendships easily and struggle to make new ones.

I think I misinterpreted the question honestly. I was thinking of more when someone is severely depressed, and suicidal, then how do they plan for the future if they accept this? A lot of the time they don't. If you suffer from depression and you're feeling down a lot, then sometimes you're right you just have to accept it. Just hold onto those that are close to you, and try to lower your expectations a bit. You just change your goals to be more attainable, and try to change your perspective. But you never really accept defeat because if you let it beat you then it's basically a death sentence.

EDIT: Essentially what TheFreshBanana said
 
Run n Spread said:
Question for those on here:
At what point do you fold and admit to yourself things are not going to get better with life, in fact are rapidly deteriorating and take steps to prevent any further damage/acknowledge things are on a slippery slope and adjust to this being a permanent thing?

By this I mean a common refrain for life and I guess instinct is optimism is things will get better one day/this is a slump and down period but hang in for the change. Well this doesn't always happen. At what point is it prudent to admit defeat and plan and set up life accordingly.
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I'll just go to the second paragraph. That is certainly not my "instinct". My instinct is that things are unlikely to get much better, and there is no point planning to make it so because all such plans backfire badly. This is the result of more than three decades of low level, biut deeply entrenched, depression.
To be honest, in my teens the only thing that stopped me committing suicide was the thought that ther may be an afterlife where things might be even worse. That, and my half-hearted attempts didn't work.

As such, I can't answer the first paragraph. I can't recall a time where I thought things would get better, so have never crossed that point. I have had times where I had hope things might get better, and times where I have been ceratin it would not, but not an expectation that it would.
 
Run n Spread said:
Question for those on here:
At what point do you fold and admit to yourself things are not going to get better with life, in fact are rapidly deteriorating and take steps to prevent any further damage/acknowledge things are on a slippery slope and adjust to this being a permanent thing?
At what point is it prudent to admit defeat and plan and set up life accordingly.
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Im probably at that stage now. Was gonna kill myself last month but my boss/mate stopped me before i could go through with it. My divorce has just been finalised, im now officially bankrupt and back living with my parents. Also had put on a fair bit of weight due to all this s**t and my depression.
Pretty much hit rock bottom.

Ive now put some plans in motion with my counsellor about getting fit again to help with my physical side of things and also talking more about my issues etc.
Just bought a bike, my 1st ever one at age 32 and im pretty excited to start riding and just get out of my bedroom and stop wasting my life. Just little things like this i hope can kick start positive things for me.
 
I'm very glad to hear that you're still here PTP.

I think that the approach you're taking to do healthy things for yourself will work in making your feel better.

Good on you and good luck :thumbsu:
 
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