Health Depression

[mcuzzy]

My Nan used to say your health is your wealth.But I reckon being happy is up there too.

True and being happy would help mental health, so lots of win when you're happy.

Not sure if I've ever suffered from depression but I do have a few days here and there when I'm pretty down and think 'I can't do this'. Never thought of killing myself or anything like that though.

Just the daily life demands sometimes get to me, work, money, sports etc

But yeah, hope you guys stay strong and keep positive.

The demands in society will do that to you although it might not be the case for you, it's certainly not great and lots of people get frustrated. Each to their own but I believe people should wake up happy or at least content and not feel stressed or upset about the day ahead. You obviously love sport but are there any adjustments you could make in order for the mood to change? Do you enjoy the work you do?

 

[SuperCats9]

True and being happy would help mental health, so lots of win when you're happy.



The demands in society will do that to you although it might not be the case for you, it's certainly not great and lots of people get frustrated. Each to their own but I believe people should wake up happy or at least content and not feel stressed or upset about the day ahead. You obviously love sport but are there any adjustments you could make in order for the mood to change? Do you enjoy the work you do?

I play footy and cricket, love both and enjoy both, I do sometimes get a bit stressed with training and all that, at the moment it's training all week (cricket Tuesday and Thursday and footy Monday, Wednesday and Friday) and for work I'm an apprentice carpenter, I enjoy that as well but some days I'll wake up not wanting to work at all.


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[rocker_oz33]

I have posted is before but I;ll post it again.Anyway i run into a woman at the gym silly me goes who let you in here.Anyway i did'nt know she had depression and she got a pretty good discount on her membership.Being active can help people be happy.

 

[mcuzzy]

I play footy and cricket, love both and enjoy both, I do sometimes get a bit stressed with training and all that, at the moment it's training all week (cricket Tuesday and Thursday and footy Monday, Wednesday and Friday) and for work I'm an apprentice carpenter, I enjoy that as well but some days I'll wake up not wanting to work at all.


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That sucks, especially during summer. I used to have to do something similar with cricket, pre-season soccer and squad swim team training, the easiest part was that I only had to go to school after a long stint of holidays unlike most who have to work.

In all honesty it sounds like you're coping alright but it could be something that weighs you down mentally and drags on into the season. I did a bit of coaching last year and players that had big study/work loads would sometimes be given a session off to try and mentally and physically recover, it seemed to work wonders as they'd come back refreshed and fired up. If you do feel like you need or want one or two sessions off, would you be able to request that?

 

[Willo_]

Mental issues are certainly something I probably take a hell of a lot more seriously these days.

Had been in the public service for 5 years and the last 15 months moved to a department and really didn't enjoy the work. Found it really started to get me down, was effecting me at home but also I was dreading going to work each morning. Almost convincing myself I felt sick to give myself an excuse not to go.

Anyway started a new job about 4 weeks ago, and are happy at work again. Haven't once woke up dreading work or looking for an excuse not to go. Obviously it is early days still.

That said the doubts and negative thoughts can easily creep back in quickly... Just something like eating lunch alone (which I normally prefer) my mind is questioning it as if people don't like me. Had a meeting with the bosses after a couple of weeks just to touch base with them to make sure I was going to go in the direction they wanted me too... The next day I was super anxious about a few jobs I had to do and nervous about them...

Hopefully as I settle in more and get comfortable there are less of these moments but it's an ongoing thing I'm guessing


And as I said something I now take a lot more serious than I had previously done

 

[HARKER]

My Nan used to say your health is your wealth. But I reckon being happy is up there too.

Happiness is O.K. but understanding is better.
Sooner understand life around me and be miserable than to be ignorant and happy.

I know that doesn't quite fit in the theme of the discussion but there's something to be said for being aware.................although it may not always bring fun along with it.

 

[Dan Moody]

I play footy and cricket, love both and enjoy both, I do sometimes get a bit stressed with training and all that, at the moment it's training all week (cricket Tuesday and Thursday and footy Monday, Wednesday and Friday) and for work I'm an apprentice carpenter, I enjoy that as well but some days I'll wake up not wanting to work at all.


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Unless you're playing AFL, 3 times a week for footy training is ridiculous. You're body is having nil recovery time. I'm an AFL Level 2 Coach (that also suffers from depression )


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[Phil Connors_]

Suffered from depression/anxiety for the last couple of years. I am 26. Used to have a lot of very intense anxiety attacks, which medication has helped manage significantly; they are all but gone now, as well as a lot of the social anxiety and general worrying. My family has an extensive history of mental illness (depression, PTSD, anxiety, bipolar, dementia).

On the depression side though, it's still up and down a bit. I had a long term relationship unexpectedly end about a year ago. It was very tough for a while, but a few months later I was feeling good and seeing other girls. Anyway, that lasted a while, but the past several months have been tough. I have moved interstate (too complicated to list the full reasoning), but I do have family here. I'm also going overseas very soon for sports and then to travel and work for a year or two around Europe. This is all very exciting for me.

So, about 10 weeks ago, after I had been interstate for about 2 months, I found out my ex was seeing one of my mates (not the closest, but still someone I had beers with, spoke about how I still felt, and generally trusted). So that hurt big time, but I was more dissapointed in her, because we always said we would never do that to each other. But I guess humans are selfish, in general. Felt like a fresh breakup again.

So since then, I have had a lot of very up and down times. Going through a very tough time at the moment, sleeping ridiculous hours and staying up all night. Went through a stage of excessive drinking. The whole time here has been very up and down, there's times where I've just wanted to pack up and go home, but I stayed, which I'm quite proud of. I'm still doing very well with my sport over here, which is one of the reasons I am here. I won't deny I've had times I've thought about what would be the best way to end up (not recently though), but I would never follow through with that, not at such a young age. I know you will say it's only a girl, but I've known and loved her since I was about 15, and yeah was certain we'd be married this time last year. The depression was also there previous to the breakup, and has been up and down since. I've accepted everything, to a degree, it's just one of those things I do not deal well with. Had another relationship end previous (identical time frame, obviously younger though), so it feels like it's repeated a bit. Also it's not like I haven't been out with other girls, or have any problems. It's not as though I'm unhappy single either, because I am, I guess I'm just not over it yet.

There are family issues in which I could discuss, but I need not enter that now.

Also there are other issues that have influenced my mental helath; excessive drug and alcohol use at a young age, and obviously the strong biological predisposition.

I've just been preparing to go away, and I know I have a lot to look forward too, but I still feel extremely down a lot. I'm at the gym every second day, and training as well, but apart from that there is really nothing for me to do over the next month. I know this will pass and I know it will get better, it just feels like whenever I am feeling really happy, not long after I am back in that downward pattern. It's such a viscous cycle really.

I'm not really sure what I expected to get from this post, I just though it'd be good to share a very small fraction of my experience/s. Any discussion is definitely welcome!

Cheers

 

[raskolnikov]

There are people who would kill to even have this question occur to them. Without any qualifications to advise you, and no personal knowledge of you at all, other than this post, it is possible that you have misunderstood the nature of the issue. Maybe your expectations were too positive, meaning that they were always going to be left unrealised, and a source of disappointment? As I said, I don't know you, nor your situation, but this may be worthy of some consideration.

The pursuit of 'happiness' is fraught, ephemeral, transient and unknowable at its achievement. A realistic encounter with 'what is', as displayed in your post, is far more likely. Build on your undoubted strengths.

This was a key to me overcoming my battle with depression, though it is still not won. I realised that I had an inflated vision of what my life should be like. I thought that I should be rich, I should be well-liked, I should be happily married with kids. I should love my job. I realised one day that life didn't need to be like this. I needed to be content with what I did have. It's not wrong to have goals, and I have achieved a couple of them in the last couple of years(job, relationship)but don't turn them into overwhelming or futile desires. Even if you do achieve them there is no guarantee they will last forever. If you've invested your all into it and have nothing to fall back on then it is a long way to fall and hard to get back up.

 

[skilts]

This was a key to me overcoming my battle with depression, though it is still not won. I realised that I had an inflated vision of what my life should be like. I thought that I should be rich, I should be well-liked, I should be happily married with kids. I should love my job. I realised one day that life didn't need to be like this. I needed to be content with what I did have. It's not wrong to have goals, and I have achieved a couple of them in the last couple of years(job, relationship)but don't turn them into overwhelming or futile desires. Even if you do achieve them there is no guarantee they will last forever. If you've invested your all into it and have nothing to fall back on then it is a long way to fall and hard to get back up.

It pleases me no end to think that somebody who knows this affliction intimately should share the thoughts I wrote. My understanding of this condition is extremely limited.

 

[vonn]

This was a key to me overcoming my battle with depression, though it is still not won. I realised that I had an inflated vision of what my life should be like. I thought that I should be rich, I should be well-liked, I should be happily married with kids. I should love my job. I realised one day that life didn't need to be like this. I needed to be content with what I did have. It's not wrong to have goals, and I have achieved a couple of them in the last couple of years(job, relationship)but don't turn them into overwhelming or futile desires. Even if you do achieve them there is no guarantee they will last forever. If you've invested your all into it and have nothing to fall back on then it is a long way to fall and hard to get back up.

My psychologist said this to me, 'life is just one big joke. (Not in an existential way), you can't take it too seriously.' The minute I realized that preconceived notions of success don't correlate to happiness I felt like a weight had been lifted.

 

[Sausages]

Life has no meaning....

18+ years diagnosed chronic depressive, with occasional bi-polar events. Medicated out the wazoo.

Was on a first and final warning at work from an incident last year - had another incident this weekend and will be terminated, paperwork and legalities being handled as we speak.

My partner has left me after 20+ years, I will also lose my house and my car. I have limited savings.

Drove to the bridge today, where I have twice before been intercepted by police following calls made by my psychiatrist. Thought about it long and hard......drove home.

Life makes them lament their unlife....

 

[HARKER]

Life has no meaning....

18+ years diagnosed chronic depressive, with occasional bi-polar events. Medicated out the wazoo.

Was on a first and final warning at work from an incident last year - had another incident this weekend and will be terminated, paperwork and legalities being handled as we speak.

My partner has left me after 20+ years, I will also lose my house and my car. I have limited savings.

Drove to the bridge today, where I have twice before been intercepted by police following calls made by my psychiatrist. Thought about it long and hard......drove home.

Life makes them lament their unlife....

Wow..................... Sausages

I have only my own experiences to relate to so won't pretend to understand yours.
Can't tell you it will be O.K. and that life is beautiful and filled with roses and sunshine although I can say that self-exploration is worth it.

As important as it may seem in the here and now F**k your house and car.
Sounds easy I know but I built up to a high peak and was happy to give it away to feel in control of myself.
Don't let anyone else's assessment of what it is to live be a template for your own life. You can master that...........we all can.

Please get the right advice from someone you can connect with. Ground zero is O.K. for anyone at any age.
You don't have anyone else to please other than yourself, first and foremost.

Please keep posting on this board.

 

[Sausages]

Thanks Harker.

Ironically, I made this post on the beyondblue forums, with some additional info - and it was edited by the mods, due to talking about suicide. I didn't actually say I was going to - apparently titling a post "Life has no meaning" is against their ToS. I'll laugh at this one day, I hope. I would have thought discussing the depths of despair one feels on a depression help forum would be appropriate.

Anyway....

As of now, still alive.

 

[nicky]

Thanks Harker.

Ironically, I made this post on the beyondblue forums, with some additional info - and it was edited by the mods, due to talking about suicide. I didn't actually say I was going to - apparently titling a post "Life has no meaning" is against their ToS. I'll laugh at this one day, I hope. I would have thought discussing the depths of despair one feels on a depression help forum would be appropriate.

Anyway....

As of now, still alive.

Yeah that is weird that they would modify a post like that on a forum dedicated to depression. It just shows that organisations that are trying to help really miss the mark badly.

 

[HARKER]

Thanks Harker.

Ironically, I made this post on the beyondblue forums, with some additional info - and it was edited by the mods, due to talking about suicide. I didn't actually say I was going to - apparently titling a post "Life has no meaning" is against their ToS. I'll laugh at this one day, I hope. I would have thought discussing the depths of despair one feels on a depression help forum would be appropriate.

Anyway....

As of now, still alive.

I'm sure they have their reasons but when it's all said and done, none of us asked to be here and as a consequence shouldn't be forced to do so.
O.K. that's the black and white version and there is plenty of grey in between.

Depression makes one feel so alone yet when the stats front up and we recognize that 1 in 4 people will suffer depression in life, we may just be part of one of the bigger groups on this planet. Male/Female rates at 1 in 2, so that's double the size but it's really not that far away.

I do wish that we could enjoy the good times and in a morbid way enjoy the bad as well, yet that's probably a hard sell to most but it is possible.

...............oh, by the way even if you don't find a way to laugh about your current status, you'll be wiser for it.....Give yourself the chance and you'll be glad you did as will others that love you.

 

[vonn]

Life has no meaning....

18+ years diagnosed chronic depressive, with occasional bi-polar events. Medicated out the wazoo.

Was on a first and final warning at work from an incident last year - had another incident this weekend and will be terminated, paperwork and legalities being handled as we speak.

My partner has left me after 20+ years, I will also lose my house and my car. I have limited savings.

Drove to the bridge today, where I have twice before been intercepted by police following calls made by my psychiatrist. Thought about it long and hard......drove home.

Life makes them lament their unlife....

I don't really know what to say to a post so honest, I only know that being told 'it will be okay' is the most redundant thing ever and achieves nothing.
I guess the only practical thing I have to say is to not put your loved ones through the pain of not having you around, they will be worse off for it. Imagine losing the person you care about most; then intensify that because the real thing is so much worse. You don't want to put people through that.
Cars... Houses... You know I saw an artist who lives day-to-day off donations. All he does is paint and paint. He doesn't have a family, he doesn't have anything to his name - but he is doing what he loves and ironically that makes him happier than anyone in the world who has everything material.
It's stupid to say to not worry or be upset about losing your material possession, but don't let it overwhelm you, please. There is a 'light' at the end of the tunnel, yes it's a cliche, but find something you love and drives you. I don't mean this brutally, but don't dwell on feeling sorry for yourself. It will only be a cycle. Sounds stupid - but anytime it gets too hard, take 3 deep breaths and go for a walk, or to the gym, or whatever light exercise you do. Do something active and productive that you can use physically as an outlet and actually eventually see the tangible results of. Join a yoga class. Join the gym. The endorphins are natural 'feel goods' for your body.
I cannot recommend something like the gym enough. When I was in my worst phases I joined it and the ability to have control in an aspect of my life - when everything was so out of control, was a relief. To see my hard work put into something, and not have anyone take it away is beautiful. It doesn't matter if you're 20 kgs overweight, the fact you can see progress and/or have goals to say get fit or lose weight drives you. It gives you a sense of purpose that a lot of people with depression are lacking. Yes it's very simplistic, but it's more about the psychology. It's to prove you can achieve something, no matter how small. It's about having a place that is just for you, and a place that over time you will connect with progress and control. It really helps. Sounds crazy, but experience it.
It's a short term fix, yes, but it builds the habit within the psyche that you won't 'tolerate' (for lack of a better word) feeling crap. So it has long-term benefits too - namely what I mentioned above in addition to your improved health.
One more thing - find your passion. Something that drives you. Even if it's something as small as painting or writing or reading etc. spend more time doing the things you love as well, in addition to the exercise after you start to feel awful. Baby steps.

 

[HARKER]

There is a 'light' at the end of the tunnel, yes it's a cliche, but find something you love and drives you. Even if it's something as trivial as painting or writing.

Nice Vonn. ..............and there is light at the end of the tunnel............but how much light is enough?

We seem to look at others and get the impression that we're the only ones missing out on these fantastic lives, yet we'd be surprised just how many may actually think that they're missing out and we're the ones with all the answers.

Experienced that so many times over, I couldn't tell you but I do know that talking brings about a major relief and acceptance, if one is inclined to push beyond their limits.
If we had an arm missing people would get it straight away but an illness of the mind is much harder to understand and we have to understand that others won't understand unless we say something.

No f***ing shame to be had. No shame at all.

 

[vonn]

Nice Vonn. ..............and there is light at the end of the tunnel............but how much light is enough?

We seem to look at others and get the impression that we're the only ones missing out on these fantastic lives, yet we'd be surprised just how many may actually think that they're missing out and we're the ones with all the answers.

Experienced that so many times over, I couldn't tell you but I do know that talking brings about a major relief and acceptance, if one is inclined to push beyond their limits.
If we had an arm missing people would get it straight away but an illness of the mind is much harder to understand and we have to understand that others won't understand unless we say something.

No f***ing shame to be had. No shame at all.

Agree. I also edited my above post to add some info about exercise etc which you may have missed!

But here's another cliche for you - but just because it's a cliche doesn't mean it isn't relevant. Depression isn't for people who are weak - it's for people who have been strong for too long. It's okay to admit we're only human.

 

[HARKER]

Agree. I also edited my above post to add some info about exercise etc which you may have missed!

But here's another cliche for you - but just because it's a cliche doesn't mean it isn't relevant. Depression isn't for people who are weak - it's for people who have been strong for too long. It's okay to admit we're only human.

Vonn, some of the most interesting people I know suffer depression, are bi-polar, have A.D.D. or who knows what else.

Maybe there is a price to pay for being......different? Then again, who's determining the standards these days?

We're all trying to sort ourselves out in life and sometimes the ones that think the most are the ones that suffer the most.......question is.......who do you want to be?

 

[Tulip]

I don't know what to say Sausages, except for the fact that I think life really does only move forward and that people do and will care about you. It's not the end, when this stuff happens, it's the beginning. Explore things you never have before.

 

[Sausages]

Struggling. The pathetic, desperate clawing of a man hanging by his fingertips.

If you read this and don't care, I salute you. There is no reason to care and thus it is a reasonable position to have. If you do care, please don't I mean this in the nicest possible way - the purpose in posting is simply to write, not to seek guidance. I KNOW what I need to do - it's that I cannot do it - herein is the horrible circular motion of a spiralling descent into entropy.

My psychiatrist has said on more than one occasion that I am "clinically interesting". I suffer from a mental illness that has defied treatment. He considers me intelligent, a claim I would argue. I empathise with others and can see how to help them. But my own salvation is a murky darkness, impenetrable and unyielding. When things are going well for me, I tear it all down and return my existence to a state of utter devastation. Thus has been the pattern all my life. It is at once tragic and foolish. Happiness causes pain. This is why I cannot do what needs to be done - because 43 years of life has shown me that stability and contentment are fleeting and nothing more than paths to destruction. I fear both the fulfillment of life and the despair of depression. Neither is desirable.

It's not about being loved, wanted, successful (HA!), productive, stable....it's that everything, even the good things, lead to this place. I can teach nothing, share nothing and create nothing. My insights are, at best, self-indulgent. At worst....the shuddering, final breaths of a soul tormented and seeking release.

Failure.....ever my nemesis. Being at the mercy of unseen elements which govern our lives.....fate, chance, dreams, desire.....all intangible, uncontrollable and beyond understanding. The only thing which keeps me in this world....life MUST have a purpose. I am not interested in religion - my purpose must be mine to define, if being human means anything at all.

So I cling to those razor-sharp rocks on the precipice between life and death and plumb the depths of a question which has no answer, yet is my salvation.

 

[HARKER]

I'd suggest that there won't be anyone that reads what you have to say and then come to the conclusion that you're not intelligent Sausages

Don't take this the wrong way Sausages but the ends don't marry up and if you were in front of me, I may just slap you.
Your reasoning is of a high standard and if you weren't as intelligent as you are, chances are that things may actually be easier...............but would you really want to be anything other than who you are and if so how do you know whether the other side would suit you?

My daughter is 18 and happens to be incredibly intelligent and an individual that breaks things down to the endth degree but she does suffer anxiety and her highs and lows are at the extreme ends of the scale.
I sat down with her the other day and told her that her life wouldn't be easy. She replied with a somewhat sad....."Thanks Dad"
I told her that there is a price to pay for the individual she is and if/when she comes to terms with that, the pain won't be anywhere as unbearable as it may be at times without that understanding.

Now that may have nothing to do with you Sausages and I'm likely simplifying your own situation but you wouldn't be writing what you are if you weren't intelligent, insightful and most likely a pretty decent human being that may just be a little misunderstood. Who knows, maybe you're right and others are wrong......you can never be sure.

Needless to say if you're not happy with your "expensive friend" look for another one.............It just takes the "right" one to make sense of things.

 

[nicky]

My daughter is 18 and happens to be incredibly intelligent and an individual that breaks things down to the endth degree but she does suffer anxiety and her highs and lows are at the extreme ends of the scale.
I sat down with her the other day and told her that her life wouldn't be easy. She replied with a somewhat sad....."Thanks Dad"
I told her that there is a price to pay for the individual she is and if/when she comes to terms with that, the pain won't be anywhere as unbearable as it may be at times without that understanding.
.

That's an incredible exchange

 

[Sausages]

Ahhhh, the wonder of the interwebs....

I posted a poem to Facebook a few hours ago. It was a stream of consciousness piece, certainly dark and, evidently, easily misunderstood. Because within 10 minutes of posting it, I had 2 police cars full of cops, sirens blaring, screeching to a halt in my driveway. I was at the back of the house, in my computer room. I heard the sirens, but thought nothing of it - until 3 police charged around the back of the house, asking my name and demanding to be let inside. Somewhat shocked, I complied, wondering wtf was going on. It seems that one of my friends on Facebook interpreted my post as a suicide note and called 000. The police performed their jobs admirably and I have nothing but the highest regard for their actions. Nor indeed do I find fault with my friend, who felt the situation warranted such a response. (Interestingly, one of the officers was attending my situation for a second time, after being in attendance last year at the bridge when I very nearly leapt into the abyss, but for the timely intervention of members of the constabulary).

The terrible reality here is this - I know people care. It isn't in any way, shape or form meaningless to me. But neither does it provide comfort. It simply IS. I have a small circle of friends. I keep my cycle of depression and mania largely hidden from them. For the simple reason that it is MY problem. I don't wish to burden them with something they can do nothing about. I mean this in the most positive way imaginable. They cannot help me, so why burden them? If I NEED them, I can reach out. But needing comfort, support, reassurance and the like does precisely zero for my condition. And I'll tell you why, dear reader....

Because I create this reality. It is horrible and it depresses me. It is a source of constant pain with deathly lows and maddening highs. And turning to friends or what little family I have for support seems like throwing one's food on the ground and then complaining that you are hungry. To me, it sets one on the path of victim. I feel terrible, it's true. And I have seriously contemplated suicide. I have been hospitalised and taken into protective custody. But I create all these things. It is the WHY which challenges me. Why do I do it? What purpose does it serve? If I were 15, you'd suggest it's a cry for attention. But when I was 15, I was happy as Larry. At 41, I had a good job, a great relationship, a nice house. But, progressively over the last 2 years I have torched it all. I have been on the cycle of stability into destruction since the mid 90's. Finally, I am really destroying it. No job, no partner, no house. I am now 43, and life is bleak. Not without hope although I despise the word. But, yes, it is bleak.

And the why eludes me....I wrestle with the question constantly. It is both the source of my depressive frustration and, I feel, my salvation. Because so long as the question remains unanswered, I will endure. It is when I find an answer that things will REALLY get messy.