Health Depression

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nbaman1 said:
I don't know if I'm depressed or what. Since school has finished it's been a wild ride with lots of fun times, and some lonely times when the social aspect of my life has died down (mainly due to footy ending and people being more busy with commitments). My twelve month old puppy always made me feel great whenever I got home, and even if there wasn't a lot going on he was always there to be around. I was on cloud nine two weeks back after finishing with uni for the year (mind you I didn't go a lot which has made me upset with myself) but it was over and I was ready to be more focused next year. A few days later my puppy died unexpectedly and we never found out why. It gutted me at the time, left me feeling completely empty and I didn't really want to do anything. In the past week or so I thought I was past it, and was only getting the odd flashback which made me sad.

However, back to back nights of torment like dreams where I see my puppy alive and well only for me to wake up and realise it was all fake have left me feeling like complete crap.

I've never felt this lonely before, and in my younger days I would always go to the video games when I felt lonely (I wasn't as social when I was younger) yet now I just keep being reminded of my dog.

I'm not exactly sure if my dog's death is the big reason behind this feeling, or if there's something deeper. I started to get similar feelings post school when all my mates were getting girlfriends and hanging out with them a lot of the time while I wasn't. However, the arrival of my puppy seemed to alleviate that and yet now I'm feeling really empty all again.

I'd love to get another dog because I honestly think they can be one of the best things you can ever come into contact with when it comes to making yourself feel good because they're such devoted animals, but we've lost two puppies at less than 15 months (both labs) in just about 3 years, so I think it will just be too hard to try again with a third family dog.

Another issue I find is that all my mates are great mates and love to hang around with me, yet I can't pinpoint someone who is mature enough or understanding enough to chat to me about my feelings.
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I'm not going to say too much. When you say "since school has finished", is that a few weeks or a few years for you?

Uncertainty in a transition period is nothing unusual, or in itself to be too concerned about. Unless it is stopping you doing other things, or leading to consistent bad patterns of thought and behaviour (and you might not be able to spot these yourself).

I'm assuming you are still quite young, so it is quite possible your mates aren't able to deal with your feelings. Although, you might be surprised how many share at least some aspects. Its not easy to be the one to start that conversation, young guys are supposed to be invulnerable - its crap of course, everyone has vulnerabilities except the most narcissistic and arrogant, but it is the expectation and not living up to that image is tough to admit.

First point of call is your GP. Get an independent assessment of where you are at. It could just be the dog. It could be the timing of that with other stuff, and you'll get through it fine. It could be the thing that brings up that there is something else. If there is something, you seem to want to get on top of it early. That is good. Living in denial and letting it fester for 40 years eventually drives you to some very dark places, and you don't want to be where I am.
 
This shits getting out of ******* control.
I spent my entire ninetieth birthday getting drunk off my last bottle of scotch an crying.
Who the * gets diagnosed with bipolar at 17? * this hereditary condition that seems to plague everyone in my family.
i honestly dont know if i wanna die but i can see any other way.
* this, bye.
 
I've just posted a long, long rant on the Beyond Blue forums. Highlighting all problems that have contributed to my depression.

Just feel a lot more comfortable doing it there than social media, and here too.

It's given me a chance to let off steam, I just feel so much better now letting it off.

If anyone wants to see it they can PM.
 

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I'm feeling so much mentally and physically stringer that at my worst. I can't believe the rapid transformation from fearing my demons to confront get them.

It was bloody scary but I backed my mental strength and healthy living to change things around.

My medication has helped me not to over eat. I used to binge eat as I played a lot of footy and could eat two dinners etc and not put on weight.

I've found a bit of exercise and keeping touch with my best mates plus finding fun things to do with my little girl and time to myself with music has been a massive help.

I've had a few bumps along the road but the fact I've overcome them has proven to me I'm feeling good.

Best of luck to all that need it and remember you are not alone.

Peace
 
Exercise and keeping busy a lot throughout the day works! You then feel productive and because it takes you away from sitting around idle and it stops you from thinking too much, which leads to guilt/worry...

It's the only way to combat it in my opinion...

Literally, I don't think there is any other way, yes, meditation helps, but it's doing things that takes you back into the moment and out of idle worry.
 
Heard yesterday that two guys committed suicide at two different warehouses in the country for the company I used to work for.

One guy necked himself in Perth and another guy shot himself in the head in Darwin and the funeral is today.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
When I was at my worst for depression I took part in a course called the landmark forum. If you google it you will see a lot of positive and negative feedback on the course (mainly people accusing it of being a cult). However I did the course and learnt so much from doing it. I found with my depression the biggest issue was the little voice in my head always controlling my moods. The course taught me to not listen to that voice and when you are confronted by choices in your life that will affect your way of thinking then take a deep breath and actually make the correct decision on your thought process. Our mind works habitually and when depressed or low in confidence etc we always have a certain way of thinking. An example that happened the other day between my two kids shows just how easily we can be manipulated by our thoughts. My daughter simply said to my son during a conversation that he wasn't beautiful. straight away he said to me that she called him ugly. I explained that she never said that, she simply said he wasn't beautiful. He took her words as derogatory and straight away he thought he must be ugly and unnatractive and this happened because he doesn't have a lot of self esteem and as such thinks the worst of a simple comment that in reality simple was that she didn't think he was beautiful. Words only have meaning if you let become meaningful. He could have chosen those words to mean that he was sexy, or handsome or gorgeous but he chose to take it as a negative.

In short people you choose how you feel, and it is a hard habit to break when you're down and feeling negative and sometimes when people speak to us we take things completely the wrong way and make up stories based on what someone said that simply isn't there but our mind tells us otherwise.

Keep trying to be positive, depression is a rollercoaster but you can manage the ride and make it to the end.
 
I have been to a landmark forum introduction meeting before. They were very pushy about me paying for one of their conferences. Relentlessly so. Ended up having to tell them "Look, I've only got $20 in my account right now. Happy?". Kind of put me off that particular organisation.

------

I've been struggling with anxiety lately. Really becoming debilitating. I'm seeking all the help and everything I need though but I wanted to ask about advice on taking time off. I work for myself and have clients, so taking a few weeks off right now would disappoint a few people and mess up their schedules. Should I still look at taking some time to spend on myself? At a loss for what to do.
 
Randomizor said:
I have been to a landmark forum introduction meeting before. They were very pushy about me paying for one of their conferences. Relentlessly so. Ended up having to tell them "Look, I've only got $20 in my account right now. Happy?". Kind of put me off that particular organisation.

------

I've been struggling with anxiety lately. Really becoming debilitating. I'm seeking all the help and everything I need though but I wanted to ask about advice on taking time off. I work for myself and have clients, so taking a few weeks off right now would disappoint a few people and mess up their schedules. Should I still look at taking some time to spend on myself? At a loss for what to do.
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I agree the introduction meeting is very pushy but I honestly believe it is because they want people to experience the forum itself because it can have such a profound influence on you.

As for you, personally I think you need to think about what's best for yourself. Don't let yourself tell stories about what people might say and do if you take time off because you have no idea, it is those stories that you tell yourself that can make your feelings so much worse. If people are upset at your decision that is their choice and don't let it affect you. Is it possible to reduce your workload rather than stopping it altogether? A lot of people will never understand mental health issues so don't let people's lack of understanding stop you from doing what's best for you
 
MannumPower said:
I agree the introduction meeting is very pushy but I honestly believe it is because they want people to experience the forum itself because it can have such a profound influence on you.

As for you, personally I think you need to think about what's best for yourself. Don't let yourself tell stories about what people might say and do if you take time off because you have no idea, it is those stories that you tell yourself that can make your feelings so much worse. If people are upset at your decision that is their choice and don't let it affect you. Is it possible to reduce your workload rather than stopping it altogether? A lot of people will never understand mental health issues so don't let people's lack of understanding stop you from doing what's best for you
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Might be possible to reduce it slightly. I'm hoping it reduces itself over the holiday season.
 

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MannumPower said:
When I was at my worst for depression I took part in a course called the landmark forum. If you google it you will see a lot of positive and negative feedback on the course (mainly people accusing it of being a cult). However I did the course and learnt so much from doing it. I found with my depression the biggest issue was the little voice in my head always controlling my moods. The course taught me to not listen to that voice and when you are confronted by choices in your life that will affect your way of thinking then take a deep breath and actually make the correct decision on your thought process. Our mind works habitually and when depressed or low in confidence etc we always have a certain way of thinking. An example that happened the other day between my two kids shows just how easily we can be manipulated by our thoughts. My daughter simply said to my son during a conversation that he wasn't beautiful. straight away he said to me that she called him ugly. I explained that she never said that, she simply said he wasn't beautiful. He took her words as derogatory and straight away he thought he must be ugly and unnatractive and this happened because he doesn't have a lot of self esteem and as such thinks the worst of a simple comment that in reality simple was that she didn't think he was beautiful. Words only have meaning if you let become meaningful. He could have chosen those words to mean that he was sexy, or handsome or gorgeous but he chose to take it as a negative.

In short people you choose how you feel, and it is a hard habit to break when you're down and feeling negative and sometimes when people speak to us we take things completely the wrong way and make up stories based on what someone said that simply isn't there but our mind tells us otherwise.

Keep trying to be positive, depression is a rollercoaster but you can manage the ride and make it to the end.
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Very interesting, thanks for writing that...

The problem I have with what you are describing is that if you stop the negative talk in your head you have to then replace the thoughts with better self talk..

The problem then is that for me my mind just goes blank or I replace it with something like "I feel good", "I'm funny, this is great" etc..but it has no substance at all. It's just generic positive self talk that makes you feel a bit better but doesn't help me improve conversational of banter skills.

It's all just too basic with me...but at least you do feel a bit better..

I don't have the general knowledge and wit to just be funny or interesting at any given moment. Some people can be happy, say the right things within a split second. I have no idea how to do that, but I am envious of people who have so much general knowledge floating around in their heads. Example, I know people who have opinions or funny comments on anything and everything, now how they do it, I have no idea, but I find it absolutely amazing.

My depression revolves around the fact that I can't be like that, like they are.
 
Mootsy said:
Very interesting, thanks for writing that...

The problem I have with what you are describing is that if you stop the negative talk in your head you have to then replace the thoughts with better self talk..

The problem then is that for me my mind just goes blank or I replace it with something like "I feel good", "I'm funny, this is great" etc..but it has no substance at all. It's just generic positive self talk that makes you feel a bit better but doesn't help me improve conversational of banter skills.

It's all just too basic with me...but at least you do feel a bit better..

I don't have the general knowledge and wit to just be funny or interesting at any given moment. Some people can be happy, say the right things within a split second. I have no idea how to do that, but I am envious of people who have so much general knowledge floating around in their heads. Example, I know people who have opinions or funny comments on anything and everything, now how they do it, I have no idea, but I find it absolutely amazing.

My depression revolves around the fact that I can't be like that, like they are.
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Just from what you've written I can tell you are spending too much time trying to be like other people because you clearly aren't happy with yourself. Life isn't a race, there is no prize at the end. There is no need to compete with anyone, get up each day and just try to better yourself. It's hard buddy, I feel for how you are feeling. instead of looking at others and wishing you could be like them just acknowledge that everyone is unique, how boring would it be if we were all the same. I'm sure there are positive things about you that would make others say wow wish I could do that. For me I started taking photographs of the stars, bought a decent camera and just started doing something I enjoyed and it made me feel good. I do aboriginal style dot paintings because it makes me feel good . I look at people and they have tonnes of friends, I wish I was like them but then I realise I'm a loner and enjoy being myself too much and I'm happy with that. If you've ever heard of Louise hay , check her out and her positive affirmations.
In your response to me you said I don't have general knowledge , I don't have wit, I'm not funny. Notice how you are telling yourself this, how many times do you subconsciously do this. You can do anything you want, you need to start telling yourself you can. There's no reason you can't unless you keep telling yourself you can't. I made a quote last year, " there are some people who can and the rest are can'ts". The negative self talk is a killer, trust me I do it all the time but my wife is there to slap me out of it. Fwiw I believe in you
 
MannumPower said:
Just from what you've written I can tell you are spending too much time trying to be like other people because you clearly aren't happy with yourself. Life isn't a race, there is no prize at the end. There is no need to compete with anyone, get up each day and just try to better yourself. It's hard buddy, I feel for how you are feeling. instead of looking at others and wishing you could be like them just acknowledge that everyone is unique, how boring would it be if we were all the same. I'm sure there are positive things about you that would make others say wow wish I could do that. For me I started taking photographs of the stars, bought a decent camera and just started doing something I enjoyed and it made me feel good. I do aboriginal style dot paintings because it makes me feel good . I look at people and they have tonnes of friends, I wish I was like them but then I realise I'm a loner and enjoy being myself too much and I'm happy with that. If you've ever heard of Louise hay , check her out and her positive affirmations.
In your response to me you said I don't have general knowledge , I don't have wit, I'm not funny. Notice how you are telling yourself this, how many times do you subconsciously do this. You can do anything you want, you need to start telling yourself you can. There's no reason you can't unless you keep telling yourself you can't. I made a quote last year, " there are some people who can and the rest are can'ts". The negative self talk is a killer, trust me I do it all the time but my wife is there to slap me out of it. Fwiw I believe in you
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Thanks, I needed that.

I will take your advice...

It's good that you are getting into hobbies and embracing your own personality that is unique to you..

As you say, I am way too immersed in trying to be like people who are popular, at work and anywhere, but it just doesn't work for me. It's too contrived and unnatural.

I am reading a book called "what to say when you talk to yourself" by shad helmstetter, really good read, similar to what you have been referring to. Very helpful.
 
Mootsy said:
Thanks, I needed that.

I will take your advice...

I am reading a book called "what to say when you talk to yourself" by shad helmstetter, really good read, similar to what you have been referring to. Very helpful.
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For me the negative self talk became habitual and I pretty much felt I couldn't do anything. It's hard breaking habits, just like people who try to quit smoking, gambling , drinking etc. I still negative talk to myself, but I'm aware enough to catch myself doing it and stop it from making the wrong decision for me. Good luck with it all, don't be afraid to post in here it certainly helps getting stuff out that is weighing you down
 
Christmas.

* I hate Christmas :)

Been doing awesomely since my last venture here and good to see the ebbs and flows are still in evidence, and I mean that truly. As one flounders, another rises to offer support.

Couple of things to add to our thoughts...

Do the things you are good at, where possible. Mastery of a task, ability, talent, proclivity, passtime is good for the mind. Very very good. Being good at something trivial may seem utterly irrelevant - break it down, look at the individual pieces to what it is, find links to other things.
Do the things you ENJOY where possible, but caution yourself against excess. Many things we enjoy are areas of repose and indolence and these pleasures can easily unbalance you.

Give time to thinking - real time. I don't meditate, but I think like a machine. It relaxes me and allows my mind the freedom to do what it likes to do - think on many levels at once.

I'm 44. I decided to commit to a few things this year as it turned out and I am glad that I did. Because I decided to do the things I was good at AND that gave me enjoyment. You're allowed to do that, when you're 44 I reckon. Still have the odd rubbish day or night here and there, but overall I am more stable now than I have been since....* knows when :)

Here's the killer though chaps - as we are all roughly aware of cycling bipolar - you DO find yourself wondering if you are just cycling....so, it takes time to piece this stuff together for me. What seems obvious, immediate, necessary and simple to many is utterly foreign to me and requires a different path. Accepting this reality, for me, was a big deal. I move slower on many things yet the balance is maintained by alacrity in other areas. I give myself TIME to figure it out. 5 minutes, 5 weeks, whatever is needed.

Also, I deviate from the norm when I say if you want time alone, seek it out. TELL PEOPLE that that is what you are doing though. Don't just disappear without saying anything to a good mate/family member of value, regardless of the circumstance. Tell people you are going to be at place X for time period Y to get space. Granting yourself a leave of absence is critical - especially if you aren't familiar with how you are feeling. Assess yourself and consider - CONSIDER THIS VERY VERY WELL - suicidal thoughts, thoughts of self harm that plague you - THESE ARE NOT NORMAL - I know, because I know the difference between my well mind (this one) and my sick mind. If you have these thoughts, your sabbatical MUST take in prescribed medications from a GP or better a Psychiatrist. Don't listen to anyone peddling (garbage) remedies without a historical, scientific record. At least to start. And for the record, I consider Chinese Medicine backed up by the science of good community standing over centuries as opposed to our lab based science for pharmaceuticals. All remedies will have pros and cons, but initially don't muck about - get some medication to give your mind a break, a doorway to release pressure.

Get some professional advice, whether through a GP/counsellor etc - the important thing is to feel comfortable with who it is. And don't hold back either - you owe it to yourself AND to the professional to be frank, open and honest. No good comes from hiding the truth :)

Keep trucking chaps - don't think like a sports car - think like a tank. Just keep trundling forward, going slow over the obstacles that other vehicles can't hope to navigate and eventually you'll get some open terrain. At that point, you'll want to start looking for an airfield :)

Or, in the footy parlance - think like a premiership captain, dragging yourself to contest after contest, refusing to give up, nevermind the score.

We achieve nothing in stasis.
 
Hey all

Firstly, Merry Christmas to everyone on here.

For me, it's a tough one...

A really messy break up with my ex at the start of the month finds me in a state of numbness at the moment. All year, i had looked forward to having the Christmas we both wanted living in our own space together. To have that taken away finds me wanting to do nothing but escape right now. My family won't have any of that though... so i guess i have to tough it out.

Waves of depression, anxiety and stress from the last few months still plague me right now which is even more challenging.

Unfortunately whilst the people closest to me (my family) have been very supportive which i thank them for, they don't really understand the condition i deal with. Comments like "snap out of it" feel alienating.

So i guess tonight and tomorrow i will do my best to battle my way through with the hope that one day i will finally get to share a Christmas with someone very special and close to my heart in our own way. Just feels like an eternity away right now...
 
Better Loosen Up said:
A really messy break up with my ex at the start of the month
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Im in the same boat mate, girlfriend of 8 years broke up with me start of the month, WHat i wouldn't recommend is shotgunning a bottle of whiskey in an hour and staying up till 5am. Absolute trainwreck., paying the price today. Stay strong dude
 
Upgrayedd said:
Im in the same boat mate, girlfriend of 8 years broke up with me start of the month, WHat i wouldn't recommend is shotgunning a bottle of whiskey in an hour and staying up till 5am. Absolute trainwreck., paying the price today. Stay strong dude
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You too mate. Not easy but hang in there!
 
Mootsy said:
Very interesting, thanks for writing that...

The problem I have with what you are describing is that if you stop the negative talk in your head you have to then replace the thoughts with better self talk..

The problem then is that for me my mind just goes blank or I replace it with something like "I feel good", "I'm funny, this is great" etc..but it has no substance at all. It's just generic positive self talk that makes you feel a bit better but doesn't help me improve conversational of banter skills.

It's all just too basic with me...but at least you do feel a bit better..

I don't have the general knowledge and wit to just be funny or interesting at any given moment. Some people can be happy, say the right things within a split second. I have no idea how to do that, but I am envious of people who have so much general knowledge floating around in their heads. Example, I know people who have opinions or funny comments on anything and everything, now how they do it, I have no idea, but I find it absolutely amazing.

My depression revolves around the fact that I can't be like that, like they are.
Click to expand...

From the way you write mate, you should be more confident in your intelligence and wit.
It comes in many forms. And just reading what you've written here tells me that with a bit more confidence you'll be right in amongst it.

Good luck.
 
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