Does my son really want to work?

[CasuallyDressed]

No, he needs to hone in more on what he wants to do.

Life can be meaningless. He needs to do something which suits his interests. He can get any job he wants at the drop of a hat, we all know this. My old man wanted me to join the air-force, the fire-brigade, the police force - all while I was doing year 12 mind you.

**** him and **** doing what you don't want. It's a waste of time. Life's short, you do what you want - that's the way to go.

Well, I wish you were my Dad. It would have made avoiding doing jobs I COULD do but didn't WANT to do alot easier.

Unfortunately, in current times, getting a job isn't easy so I'd suggest taking anything that comes your way rather than waiting for something you may or may not never get.

But I understand your point.

 

[DThomas]

Exactly, i wanna be a butterfly.
Nobody ever suspects the butterfly.

It was the butterfly, I tell you! The butterfly!

 

[Copeland]

Lost his job at DVDit. Wont go to Tafe, wont go grape picking and has knocked back shifts at my work, has cut his board back to $10/wk and his loan repayments to us to $10/wk. I've spoken to him but its like water off a ducks back, I'm worried I'm going to do something stupid again as I have a short fuse. I told him the money we lent him we had to borrow and are paying interest on, so if he doesn't pay it back he'll have to sell his car, also he's going to get a curfew on his computer. God what's wrong with this phucken kid?

But I do thank god, or someone, that he's not into drugs

 

[Lockyer24]

I was very computer crazed as a kid, and didn't finish my business computing degree when I discovered nightclubs and booze.

I'd recommend looking for jobs in the Internet sales or support area (iinet for example) , it's a really good start for people who are happy to be attached to their monitor all day and it develops skills in dealing with people.

I moved into tax and accounting elsewhere after going this route and am now happily a middle class worker which was all I ever wanted to be.

 

[MegaBob]

I was very computer crazed as a kid, and didn't finish my business computing degree when I discovered nightclubs and booze.

I'd recommend looking for jobs in the Internet sales or support area (iinet for example) , it's a really good start for people who are happy to be attached to their monitor all day and it develops skills in dealing with people.

I moved into tax and accounting elsewhere after going this route and am now happily a middle class worker which was all I ever wanted to be.

Living my dream right there.

 

[Bonuspoints]

Is the lad one of these tech wizards that naturally seems to know all the in's and out's of the latest phones, tablets and thingy-majigs? If so it might be worth getting him to look at phone stores and the like. I'm thinking if this kid is good at interviews then he's probably got the potential to be decent at sales. Put him a position where he's selling things he feels he's an expert at then he might find a fit there. Plus the challenge of sales and matching the right product to the customer could be much more mentally stimulating than DVDit. Which might be why he's left/lost that job.

In regards to finding your passions sometimes you just need to get your foot through a door even if it's not what you're interested in. You then build from there as you never know sometimes it turns out to be a good fit for you. I know of a bloke that wanted to be a vet, but didn't have the grades for it. His life took a different direction and he ended up managing a coal mine. Yeah that's right a coal mine. He sure didn't plan or intend on that. Just looked at options, took a few chances, found one that fitted okay and then built a career, working his way up to the top over many years.

Must admit I'm hoping for a similiar path as initially I started out at the basic entry level job and didn't intend on sticking with the company I'm with. I'm now a manager in one of the biggest outlets in the nation. Onwards and upwards!

 

[Copeland]

Is the lad one of these tech wizards that naturally seems to know all the in's and out's of the latest phones, tablets and thingy-majigs? If so it might be worth getting him to look at phone stores and the like. I'm thinking if this kid is good at interviews then he's probably got the potential to be decent at sales. Put him a position where he's selling things he feels he's an expert at then he might find a fit there. Plus the challenge of sales and matching the right product to the customer could be much more mentally stimulating than DVDit. Which might be why he's left/lost that job.

In regards to finding your passions sometimes you just need to get your foot through a door even if it's not what you're interested in. You then build from there as you never know sometimes it turns out to be a good fit for you. I know of a bloke that wanted to be a vet, but didn't have the grades for it. His life took a different direction and he ended up managing a coal mine. Yeah that's right a coal mine. He sure didn't plan or intend on that. Just looked at options, took a few chances, found one that fitted okay and then built a career, working his way up to the top over many years.

Must admit I'm hoping for a similiar path as initially I started out at the basic entry level job and didn't intend on sticking with the company I'm with. I'm now a manager in one of the biggest outlets in the nation. Onwards and upwards!

He's only interested in computers, with all the other gadgets he's average at. He did love selling games at JB hifi but I think he didn't do all that was asked there and was let go. He's pretty reluctant to try anything new, he's waiting on a job at an office equipment place, so he has all his eggs in one basket. Like Lockyer24 suggested and I then suggested to him, and he may have some work as a Internet support person with his gaming mate who has some sort of businesses looking after gaming servers. I've also put a curfew on his computer. 8am to 10am and 6pm to 12am to get him out of the house through the day and to get a better sleeping pattern for him.
Thanks for all you help and suggestions guys.

 

[Copeland]

I've been trying to get him to sign up to Skilled, an employment agency, they do factory and winery work etc. But he tells me that would be a waste of time because he wouldn't go for the job if they found him one anyway. He only want to be in the computer industry. I told him sometimes you have to start at the bottom, maybe a job in Coles will get you into their IT department etc, and that doesn't stop you looking for other things in the mean time. I told him how I started off working on a bottling line and ended up being a wine technician. Doesn't seem to listen.

 

[Quicky]

I remember when I was working for labour hire joints I had a pretty low opinion of Skilled. They treated you like s**t. Adecco was a much better organisation. But it might depend on the individual offices. I know you are out at Mildura and Adecco had a lot of trouble getting good workers in Western Vic.

 

[Bonuspoints]

I've been trying to get him to sign up to Skilled, an employment agency, they do factory and winery work etc. But he tells me that would be a waste of time because he wouldn't go for the job if they found him one anyway. He only want to be in the computer industry. I told him sometimes you have to start at the bottom, maybe a job in Coles will get you into their IT department etc, and that doesn't stop you looking for other things in the mean time. I told him how I started off working on a bottling line and ended up being a wine technician. Doesn't seem to listen.

Without knowing the kid and going purely off your post I'm thinking it's time to walk the walk and act on that interest. If he's limiting himself to the computer industry then he should do something to make himself more appealing to potential employers in the industry. Maybe the two of you sit down and go through computer industry related tafe courses. Typically you don't want to employ someone who just comes with good intentions and potential. You want to see some base level skills and commitment. A tafe course would show both and I know a number of electricians now who won't look at someone they don't know as a potential apprentice without them having done a 6 month tafe course. Training someone takes time and money so when you commit that to someone you don't just want someone that's got the capabilites, you also want someone that's going to stick around. Nothing worse then spending months training someone up to competency only to see them pull the plug.

The only other thing I could think of is for the kid to print out a few resumes, put on his best shirt and tie, and door knock a few computer industry companies offering to work in exchange for work experience. Not sure how you would go about it, but it would show initiative and commitment.

And also yeah CasuallyDressed is right, it's much tougher to get a job these days as not only is it more competitive these days, but HR companies/dept's can make things much more difficult. But sitting at home waiting for the job to find you never works. Gotta go out there, find it and fight for it. Good luck

 

[Number 10]

Maybe just show him this whole thread.

 

[sirene]

Hey Copeland, can your son build a website (very easy one)? Maybe he can help me with mine, I will give him some cash and something for his resume???? Direct message me if interested.

 

[Copeland]

Hey Copeland, can your son build a website (very easy one)? Maybe he can help me with mine, I will give him some cash and something for his resume???? Direct message me if interested.

Sounds great lobaiga, I've messaged him and are waiting a reply. I'm on a cruise at the moment and having trouble with the internet.

 

[Copeland]

He's been put off at my work, so now he has nothing. Hi car rego and insurance are due and I've told him we are not paying it, he also has a speeding fine. He gets pretty crabby when I ask so what did you do this week towards getting a job, he'll answer and I'll say you told me that last week. I suggest places he can put his resume and he just doesn't hear me.

 

[Bussie]

All i ever wanted to do was play drums in bands. I learnt for years as a youngster, did session work at 17 then finished school and went into the big wide world and now I drive route buses. Passion doesnt always equal money. Tell your son to suck it up and be a man. Go get a job that he doesnt want to do, like the rest of us!

 

[scruffydog]

Sounds a bit like myself - except I was worse, as I didn't get a job until I was 24.

My life played out in the following way:-

2002: Finished Year 12
2003: Tafe - Certificate IV in Information Technology
2004: Tafe - Diploma in Network Engineering
2005: Tafe - Diploma in Internetworking (very similar to the previous course - and an example of me simply trying to delay the real world).

After this, I went and did an Excom course in 2006 that cost $20,000 (the loan is in my parents name and I will have paid it off - finally - next month. The Excom course was great. It made IT seem exciting, the teachers were knowledgeable and funny, and at the end of all the certificates (I ended up with my Microsoft Certified Systems Administrator: Messaging certificate (Windows server stuff + Exchange server), they basically found me a job. It took me ages to actually finish my certs though - from 2006 to 2007 I spent a lot of time doing nothing/playing computer games (oh WoW, you life devourer you).

In 2007 I started my first job.

Mind you, 6 months later I had to go on unpaid leave as I was diagnosed with cancer and had to go through the joys of chemo and radiotherapy - but that's another story.

Now - I wouldn't say I'm in love with work - but I'm pretty good at whatever my job happens to be, I put the right amount of effort in and am generally well praised.

These things just take different times for different people.

That said, your boy definitely needs to be pushed, because if I hadn't had Excom find me my first job, there's a good chance I'd still be sitting around playing WoW. I was fairly scared of the real world, and it's not until you're here that it no longer seems overwhelming. I had some pretty bad anxiety when I finished my certs just thinking about getting a job.

Good luck, anyway.

And probably don't go breaking any more of his things... haha.

 

[Kipz]

Thread title looks awesome next to our board on the main page..

 

[Copeland]

He got put off from my work, did something silly. Now his car rego and insurance are due, plus a speeding fine. I suggest places like the Mushroom Farm just to get some money coming in, his reply was * the Mushroom Farm. I tell him to put his resume at places that may have IT Traineeships going but its like talking to a brick wall. Might tell him to sell his car and pay us back and * off out of the house. Finally got him to put his name down at Skilled and they rang him to do some training but he said he couldn't get there. FMD he rides his bike further to go to his stupid ****en card shop.

 

[Temploar]

He got put off from my work, did something silly. Now his car rego and insurance are due, plus a speeding fine. I suggest places like the Mushroom Farm just to get some money coming in, his reply was **** the Mushroom Farm. I tell him to put his resume at places that may have IT Traineeships going but its like talking to a brick wall. Might tell him to sell his car and pay us back and * off out of the house. Finally got him to put his name down at Skilled and they rang him to do some training but he said he couldn't get there. FMD he rides his bike further to go to his stupid ****en card shop.

Give him a few whacks, sounds like he deserves a couple hundred.

 

[TheFreshBanana]

Give him a few whacks, sounds like he deserves a couple hundred.

No....

But yeah kick him out of the house. You either wait for him to get his "wake up call" or force him to face reality.

 

[Temploar]

No....

But yeah kick him out of the house. You either wait for him to get his "wake up call" or force him to face reality.

Yes....
Well, do something.

 

[DThomas]

I say give him a month or so to get off his arse and get a job or you'll kick him out. Maybe he'll think it's an empty threat, so make sure he knows that you aren't kidding. At some point he's going to have to wake up. You can't keep letting him do this forever. It's going to have to end at some point.

I don't know. It's your decision, but that's what I would do. It must be pretty damn frustrating!

 

[Quicky]

How are you going with your missus Copeland? I'm more worried about how this impacts you and your relationship. I think talk of kicking his arse etc is reactive and not going to help. In fact I'd wager it would be quite damaging. You can be hard about the situation but it doesn't mean you need to lose your block. You want to keep your calm about it. I don't think DT's suggestion is a bad one. Talk to your wife about it, get on the same page as her. Decide on a course of action as a team. Sit down with your son and discuss it with him calmly. And follow through if he carries on like he has.

 

[Copeland]

My wife is very soft and is pretty sick of me complaining about him, but yes its strained. I think she's just been hoping he picks up a job. I really don't want to kick him out because it will be very damaging to our relationship which already strained. In the back of my mind is always how I hated my old man when younger, and don't want the same.
He throws it back in my face, like its my fault that he's lost motivation because of my harassment. I'll have another chat with my wife an see if we can come up with a plan, maybe involve some close friends.
I suffer from depression and are nearly in tears writing this, I feel like a failure. Very very frustrating.

 

[DThomas]

My wife is very soft and is pretty sick of me complaining about him, but yes its strained. I think she's just been hoping he picks up a job. I really don't want to kick him out because it will be very damaging to our relationship which already strained. In the back of my mind is always how I hated my old man when younger, and don't want the same.
He throws it back in my face, like its my fault that he's lost motivation because of my harassment. I'll have another chat with my wife an see if we can come up with a plan, maybe involve some close friends.
I suffer from depression and are nearly in tears writing this, I feel like a failure. Very very frustrating.

You are definitely not a failure. Please don't think like this.

Involving close friends sounds like a good idea. I hope things work out sooner rather than later - and things will work out eventually, so please don't feel like you're a failure.