Kony!

[Floor Pie]

The above post is perhaps linked to this following secret Kony File....

Transcript Found

Transcript Start

Agent Nicholas: I know you there Kony

Kony: Bring it

Agent Nicholas: I'm going to kick your arse

Kony: I own no donkey

Agent Nicholas: I mean kick your behind

Kony: We have Australian Network over here - you can't kick....ha ha ha the donkey was just a joke

Agent Nicholas: So you do own a donkey?

Kony: No

Agent Nicholas: Do you want one? I can send you one.

Kony: Great my address is - 45 Jun......hang on is this a trick to get my address

Agent Nicholas: :-( You're good

Kony: All Ugandan

Transcript End

Liked!!



Also, just heard the latest news. Nova Peris is now leading the Kony finding task force!

 

[Moo]

Liked!!



Also, just heard the latest news. Nova Peris is now leading the Kony finding task force!

He will never see it coming.....it will hit him in the face like a bolt from the blue

 

[Jakko]

I have been reluctant to bring up this subject.

Is it perhaps worth using some kind of racial profiling to narrow down our search? I mean...I have an open mind, and he could have blended in with downtown Tokyo life for all I know. He may be a particularly butch dark pigmented white woman?

Its worth exploring these angles before considering weird theories.

 

[ShooterMcGavin8]

Kony spotted

 

[jod23]

Hi Moo,

I checked my friends list on Facebook. Kony wasnt one of my friends.

The search continues.

Jod.

 

[Moo]

Review of draft list performed ....no Kony.

Big shoutout to Mick Malthouse who tried to help by drafting Kony in the first round, sorry Mick my intelligence was off and it turns out that he was just some random mature age guy from WA.

 

[Gough]

I thought he was with Shane Warne at Phillip Hughes' funeral at first and I got a bit excited, but then I realised that it was Brian Lara. He's not in Macksville I'm pretty sure of that.

 

[Moo]

Too many arseholes about of late to look for Kony.

 

[jod23]

Too many arseholes about of late to look for Kony.

If it helps, I woke up this morning and I was the only one in my room so Kony isnt hiding in my room.

 

[Redalert]

If it helps, I woke up this morning and I was the only one in my room so Kony isnt hiding in my room.

Did you remember to check under your bed? Kony's a sneaky one, we can't rule anything out.

 

[jod23]

Did you remember to check under your bed? Kony's a sneaky one, we can't rule anything out.

Im well aware of how sneaky he is. Checked under the bed and in the closet. No sign of him. The search continues.

 

[Moo]

Im well aware of how sneaky he is. Checked under the bed and in the closet. No sign of him. The search continues.

I checked in my closet....... it's only small and I really doubt there is room for both him and Christopher Pyne in there.

 

[04 Durif]

Kony watch ......yes he probably has one.

Do we know where it or he is ?......No

Digital

 

[Moo]

Christmas present for Kony under tree......now we wait.

 

[Adzam]

but I always thought Kony island was suppose to be a great place for kids

 

[Moo]

but I always thought Kony island was suppose to be a great place for kids

That is a total myth ......it is actually a peninsula

 

[NotAMagpieBogan]

Moo I think I have a breakthrough

While shopping at Sexyland for my dad's sister's second cousin, I was served by a large white man by the name of 'Tony', coincidence? I think not. He was quite large, large enough to fit multiple children in his skin folds, and he had a stench of Lynx Africa.

I am over 92% sure that the one who we know as 'Kony' is actually a middle aged overweight white man who suffocates himself with Lynx Africa due to his self consciousness of smelling like a middle aged overweight white man. And his name was 'Tony', much like 'Kony', just bit more Tony-er

 

[Jakko]

One of Kony's top commanders has ben caught.

Our supermarket surveillance and google searches are beginning to pay off.

 

[Gough]

Hi ASIO, I know you're reading this, how are you? Now that the net is closing on Kony, thanks to this thread, high level protection is requested for all its participants for fear of reprisals. Cheers.

 

[jod23]

Just got home from work, checked the whole apartment. Kony isnt here.

The search continues.

 

[Jakko]

Hi ASIO, I know you're reading this, how are you?

A little embarrassed that we are closer to finding him than they are I suspect.

 

[Moo]

Wow guys just wow ....we nearly had him.

Using Australia's high tech satellite (OK - using the 35 mins a week we rent of the Korean Satellite company 'Kwong's Mowing) ....we had him in our sights.

Kony was dressed as a woman and moving towards a checkpoint on the Ugandan border called Checkpoint Alpha.......keeping in contact with our crack troops on the ground I gave a detailed description and started contemplating a victory cigar as years of work and surveillance came together.

Transcript starts ......

Moo: Checkpoint Alpha ...Kony is nearing the checkpoint ...dressed in a brown and gold dress...confirm message Major over

Ground Team: Roger that Moo [background chatter ....eye in the sky confirms target is feminised up in a brown and gold dress] ....we'll get him for you.

Moo: No not for me Tom but for you and your brave men, for the people of Africa and also for the posters on Bigfooty an Australian footy internet forum.

Ground Team: Target is not in sight, how good is your intelligence

Moo: A1, confirmed by a half dozen Liberal backbenchers and Indonesian non-corrupt police officials

Ground Team: Wow - both Indo officials...that there is some strong evidence ?

Moo: Yes ....stronger than a Malcolm Turnball Q&A Performance

Ground Team:Moo we have only had one woman pass though she had a beard, AK-47 and a SAM but she was wearing a black and blue dress

Moo: Nope it is definitely a browny, gold and white dress .....I'm looking at the photo now

Ground Team: Negatori Big Cow ...no one matching this description...just a black and blue dress

Moo: There's something wrong ....Can you hear me Major Tom?, Can you hear me Major Tom?....

Transcript ends

Ground controls circuit went dead, we still don't know.

Was Kony ever there? How did he change his dress colour when he didn't even know we were watching? Is it some sort of voodoo that he do?

Crushed but we fight on.

 

[Dr Mephesto]

Hi!

I haven't been on BF for ages. Too distracted by Cricket World Cup lol.

Have we found Kony yet?

I was hoping that the children that walk out with the cricket teams for the national anthems would lead to some valuable clues on his where about. However when I tried to "investigate" them, I just ended up getting restraining orders against them from the Victorian Magistrates Court.

 

[Moo]

Hi!

I haven't been on BF for ages. Too distracted by Cricket World Cup lol.

Have we found Kony yet?

I was hoping that the children that walk out with the cricket teams for the national anthems would lead to some valuable clues on his where about. However when I tried to "investigate" them, I just ended up getting restraining orders against them from the Victorian Magistrates Court.

No Kony yet...I have lot planned, mainly around posting humorous ramblings on the internet.

 

[jod23]

I recently bought a new car. After I purchased it, I checked the boot, nothing. Then I got in and checked the backseat and nothing.

The search continues.