What's the difference between a girls argument and a knife?
A knife has a point.
A knife has a point.
Lame Jokes Part 2
- Thread starter Hard Ball Get
- Start date
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coffeelover
Cancelled
- Dec 31, 2013
- 683
- 358
- AFL Club
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- Geelong,
I was at an ATM yesterday, when the little old lady in front of me asked me to check her balance . So I pushed her over ......
What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!
Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!
Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!
Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!
coffeelover
Cancelled
- Dec 31, 2013
- 683
- 358
- AFL Club
- North Melbourne
- Other Teams
- Geelong,
Reading while sunbathing , makes you well red
On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snow ploughs can get through.”
So the wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow ploughs can get through.”
The wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electric power went out. The wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't
know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow ploughs can get through?"
The husband replied, "Why don't you just leave the bloody car in the garage this time?"
So the wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow ploughs can get through.”
The wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electric power went out. The wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't
know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow ploughs can get through?"
The husband replied, "Why don't you just leave the bloody car in the garage this time?"
Gold that!
RedmanWasHere
Rarely in kitchens at parties.
- Aug 23, 2010
- 26,858
- 29,574
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- Exers, Gryffindor, Rich+Ess AFLW, Tassie
.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre
Dr. Dre
How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh?
Tentacles.
Tentacles.
My family is so poor, for my 12th birthday we had half a cake with 6 candles pushed against a mirror.
Neil Armstrong (RIP) use to tell these terrible Moon jokes. He'd always end them with, "I guess you had to be there."
My family was so poor I've a brother that was made in china.
- Banned
- #2,865
I'm in a band called 999 Mebibytes - we have.
- Banned
- #2,866
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a
conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said "So why
are you here?"
The yellow Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything… the sofa, the curtains,
the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of
my owner's bed."
The black Lab said, "So what’s the vet going to do?"
"Gonna cut my nuts off" came the reply from the yellow Lab. "They reckon it'll calm
me down."
The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked "So why are you here?"
The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just
for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night
when I dug a great big hole in my owners' couch."
"So what are they going to do to you?" the Yellow Lab enquired.
"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.
The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?
"I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow,
the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see." Yesterday my
owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I
just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away."
The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, it's nuts off for
you too, huh ?"
The Great Dane said, "No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped..!"
conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said "So why
are you here?"
The yellow Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything… the sofa, the curtains,
the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of
my owner's bed."
The black Lab said, "So what’s the vet going to do?"
"Gonna cut my nuts off" came the reply from the yellow Lab. "They reckon it'll calm
me down."
The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked "So why are you here?"
The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just
for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night
when I dug a great big hole in my owners' couch."
"So what are they going to do to you?" the Yellow Lab enquired.
"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.
The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?
"I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow,
the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see." Yesterday my
owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I
just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away."
The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, it's nuts off for
you too, huh ?"
The Great Dane said, "No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped..!"
pebblestone
Former Child
Richmond Tigers - 2017 Player Sponsor
Richmond Tigers - 2016 Player Sponsor
I hate to be 'that' guy, but wouldn't it be 1023 mb?
timtamWB
Resident Biscuit
Strong avatar to post correlation.
You may be right. I didn't create the joke and am no computer expert. I just took a chance on the pun being lame.
pebblestone
Former Child
Richmond Tigers - 2017 Player Sponsor
Richmond Tigers - 2016 Player Sponsor
I did like the pun. It was sufficiently lame.
- Banned
- #2,871
Nope, Megabyte now refers to 1000 kilobytes and Mebibytes refers to 1024 kibibytes. It was changed by hard drive selling peoples.
pebblestone
Former Child
Richmond Tigers - 2017 Player Sponsor
Richmond Tigers - 2016 Player Sponsor
Gee I make a terrible annoying geek.
What other types of geek are there?
Geek yoghurt. Nice with garlic.
Did you hear about the prostitute with three vaginas?
She was getting rooted left, right and centre.....
She was getting rooted left, right and centre.....
