Occupations Relying on Past Glories

[Exe Gesis]

Gay Bloke
Quirky, fun loving, harmless, out there, a girl's best friend. Able to gain the National Spotlight to increase awareness and celebrate the lifestyle, the gay bloke has not sat upon these lofty heights for many awhile. From being the centre of attention from such diverse groups as drunken girls, over affectionate mothers, hairdressers, and gangs of wandering skinheads, (or pikeys), the gay bloke is now an accepted part of society with no one actually giving a s**t if a bloke is attracted to other blokes. The AFL world waits with baited breath for the first footballer to come out as gay, however much like the England cricket team, and anyone who plays soccer, everyone is quite aware that all on Richmond's list is gay.

Excellent.
But, I think deep down men still frown at and object to gay men.

 

[little graham]

Football commentator...

All the good ones are South Australian.

 

[Ross Prunster]

Boat Person
Much like the pirates of yore, the Vietnamese Boat People of the 70's had the buccaneering spirit about them. As they set off across the South China Sea, packed like sardines on a boat with an engine that threatened to set alight and consign them as neighbours of those on flight MH370, navigating by nothoing but the stars, knowing they would be greeted by hostile Aussies, just recently coming to grips with Vinnie Cottogio's perm. Thrown to the wolves to assimilate in Australian society, who would've thought 30 plus years down the track the average Aussie loves the food, the religious customs, the high grade heroin and those zany political assasinations.
To the now. In contrast to the buccaneering spirit, the modern day boat person travels in luxury, guided by the latest GPS, experienced skippers and safe in the knowledge the Australian Navy will guide me safely to the nearest tropical island processing point. Rather than being thrown to the wolves, a government sanctioned holiday, enjoying free bed and meals.
What about the new foods we will be exposed to I hear you say. F### that. Unlike the 70's, air travel is cheap - refer post 1. I'll get on a Jetstar flight, touch up the hostess, and try the food over there.
The boat people of today get it way too easy. That Tony Abott is a very compassionate man.

 

[little graham]

touch up the hostess, and try the food over there.
.

Cat?

 

[Big Bryza]

Pure brilliance in this thread. Keep up the good work. Bravo.

 

[Handsuper47]

10/10 thread.

 

[Gough]

Any cricketer who's made a crust for the last forty years telling Doug Walters stories at sportsmen's nights.

 

[AtomicBlonde]

How does one go about acquiring the occupation of "boat person"?

 

[BALKAN]

Pharmacist
Standing regally 3 feet above everyone else, as he dispenses relief for all types of ailments to the suffering masses. With his name emblazoned across the top of his store, only he can unravel the mysteries of the doctor's handwriting. Sending his underlings scurrying to meet and greet his customers, as he mixes, grinds and concocts all manner of mysterious concoctions behind that high rise desk.
Alas, with the advent of the internet, chemist warehouses and James Hird, drugs have never been easier to get, and the powerful all knowing, all healing pharmacist as a man to be respected is a thing of the past. Credit given however, as a last grasp at importance, good law abiding folk like myself are forced to sign and give personal details to obtain a simple box of sudafed. All to no avail however, as their best customers, the pensioners are even taking the piss, selling their prescription drugs for profit right outside the poor shell of a man's door.

 

[Miqar_Baqfhied]

All the good ones are South Australian.

What, you mean like Riccuito?

 

[little graham]

What, you mean like Riccuito?

When are you going to learn how to read punk? You are a disgrace to all public school boys. You're a waste of tax payers money. You're the exact reason uni students take alot of drugs. Who would want to do a teaching degree just to have you in their class?

I said all the good ones are from South Australia, Ricciutto is from Italy.

 

[Miqar_Baqfhied]

The Australian #3
Previously the talisman of the Australian cricket team. Unwavering, consistent and succesful. The central figure that typified Australian sporting dominance. The man that juniors far and wide would yearn to become. Associated with an off-field persona that symbolised Australian larrikinism and spirit (Boon and his VB's, Punter and his dogs/punch-ups, Bradman and his overall legacy).

The modern day Australian #3, although remaining a symbol of the overall Australian sporting situation, is remarkably different from a previous era - unproven, uncertain, unstable and underperforming.

 

[Miqar_Baqfhied]

When are you going to learn how to read punk? You are a disgrace to all public school boys. You're a waste of tax payers money. You're the exact reason uni students take alot of drugs. Who would want to do a teaching degree just to have you in their class?

I said all the good ones are from South Australia, Ricciutto is from Italy.

Heavy

 

[little graham]

Heavy

Also I said all the good ones are South Australian, not all the South Australian ones are good.

I do appreciate your understanding in this matter.

 

[Miqar_Baqfhied]

Also I said all the good ones are South Australian, not all the South Australian ones are good.

I do appreciate your understanding in this matter.

Righto

 

[Ross Prunster]

English Batsman
A classic Gower leg glance, the regal Ted Dexter, the brimming with pride Kenny Barrington, unbridled stroke making of Chris Tavare, and the intimidating bullying of cheating Pakistani umpires by Mike Gatting, the English batsman was a revered figure in every far corner of the Empire. Protected by nothing more than a small peaked navy blue cap, and a white kerchief knotted loosely around his neck, falling gently to his pastey, sunken chest, the English batsmen would champ at the bit to take up the challenge offered by the sweat soaked, bad tempered, foul mouthed, hairy chested Australian, starting in from what looked like a mile long run up. The words from the slips, reminding him how they chopped up his wife, sister, mother and brother, were music to his ears, as the broad shouldered, ebony coloured West Indian paceman rose to his crescendo, bringing the crowd along with him, a cacophony of sound and sight. The solid gold ingot, banging against the Barbadian's chest, brought pleasant memories to our English hero, of a Southern Hemisphere summer in Pretoria, where he spent many a day frolicking with a young stable boy named Kinto. As the ball whizzed past the nose of the rosey cheeked soap avoider, he sprung a decaying, yellow toothed smile, a gentle nod to the young 15 year old Pakistani wonder kid, who if he head a birth certificate would show that he was 24, who delivered the searing thunderbolt. Glancing at the clock, he loved nothing more than knowing he had a further 45 minutes of battle before he could sit back with a well earned, tepid Earl Grey, and a hobnob.
Following his swashbuckling 400 ball 26, and gaining the admiration of those in the egg and bacon ties, the English batsman would jump in his Aston Martin, safe in the knowledge he had set his nation, nay his empire, on the road to another draw, and head up the M5 to his thatch roofed cottage, where he would potter in the garden, before his English Rose of a wife would bring him his favourite bangers and mash. Following his meal fit for a king, he would don his best leather, and head for the local bordello, where he and the captains of English industry would have their arses spanked red raw by cockney lasses, not employed for their looks, but for the strength of their forehands. Home for a viewing of Eddie Booth and Jacko in his favourite Love Thy Neighbour, he and his wife would jump into their separate single beds, a soothing bonox and chocolate digestive, before gently nodding off to sleep, another day in his own Boys Own Adventure.
To the now,they're all f***ing South Africans.

 

[TheHoneyBadger]

Sides are splitting. Thread delivers, repeatedly.

 

[nylexbandit]

Last one is the best

 

[Silent Alarm]

It's all over. Like the first two seasons of every show and every band's first album; it wasn't going to last but you still thought it was. It's all downhill from here.

 

[AtomicBlonde]

^^^Seinfeld and The Rolling Stones are just two exceptions to that rule and there are many more.

 

[Exe Gesis]

It's all over. Like the first two seasons of every show and every band's first album; it wasn't going to last but you still thought it was. It's all downhill from here.

Thread jumped the shark

 

[Dont be a lemon]

Thread was better before the boring cricket nostalgia.

 

[Exe Gesis]

Thread was better before the boring cricket nostalgia.

We can't interrupt the artistic process. The juices flow where they flow. But it would be good if they returned to occupations

 

[Gough]

Thread was better before the boring cricket nostalgia.

No such thing as boring cricket nostalga, now let me tell you about when I was at Warnies first test, and Shastri got 200, and Sachin got a ton and it rained for two days....

 

[Upgrayedd]

Postie
Used to get big cash bonuses around christmas. Porking sexy sex wives on deliveries and often some very intresting gun fights in the office. Nowdays wearing some crappy lime green uniform delivering junk mail