Media On the Kooch with Kern

[MP_]

By MannumPower

After what can only be described as a dismal season 17, the Alberton Swamprats were quick to release their S17 coach , Toots Hibbert, from his contract so that he could concentrate on being director of coaching. This left the club with the arduous task of find an adequate replacement. Along came Kern Hinkely , a man widely touted as an exceptional people person, tactically gifted and someone who could get the best out of his players who were clearly underperforming. In my recent hiatus from the SFA board I spent some time with the man who is now in charge of one the most exciting Swamprats teams ever and asked him a few questions that some of players wanted answers to.

From spookism :

"Kern, my 3rd wife keeps on pestering me for child support for our 2nd child - however I'm not 100% sure he is mine? What should I do?"

View attachment 69218

"Kern, losing ******* sucks balls - any thoughts on how to get over losses easier?"



From Noobz0r :
Why do you keep benching me Kern?



"Where did Schulzenfest hide my away shorts?"



From MoOP

"Kern, pass me a whiskey will ya?"



We now open the lines for the SFA public to ask the super kooch Kern Hinkely some questions

 

[The Half Back]

Kern, why are the Swampies still s**t?

 

[Aussie Rocker]

Kern, why are the Bears still s**t?

EFA. Sorry, couldn't help myself

 

[Kern Hinkely]

Kern, why are the Swampies still s**t?

The harf bak pls, we is jist takin it ez, no point embarassin yous yet

 

[The Half Back]

The harf bak pls, we is jist takin it ez, no point embarassin yous yet

Kern Hinkely do you guys practice?

 

[OrdinaryJoel]

Kern Hinkely do you guys practice?

You talkin' 'bout practice? Not the game, not the game, not the game... You talkin' 'bout, practice?

How the hell can they make their teammates better by practice?

 

[Kern Hinkely]

Kern Hinkely do you guys practice?

the harf wit pls, I am proofeshnul kooch, we are a well drilled team, I challenge yous to a game of beer pong next match

 

[Danoz]

Kern Hinkely why didn't you sack MannumPower when you found him in the shower with your daughter?

 

[Kern Hinkely]

Kern Hinkely why didn't you sack MannumPower when you found him in the shower with your daughter?

danoz pls, my dorta is part of the playin group

 

[Danoz]

danoz pls, my dorta is part of the playin group

Do you mean handed around the playing group? What does your brother Poida think of this?

 

[fumbler]

Is the Jets back?

 

[The Half Back]

the harf wit pls, I am proofeshnul kooch, we are a well drilled team, I challenge yous to a game of beer pong next match

 

[fumbler]

 

[The Filth Wizard]

Kern Hinkely, The Filth Wizard wanted to be a Swamprat and MannumPower said no not ever. Kern, y yu do dis?

 

[The Half Back]

THB and brahj on the hunt.....

 

[Freakie]

Why u no chooz Dermien Herdwik?

 

[Danoz]

Kern Hinkely I was upset you may have been bagging my thread but was relieved to find kooch is coach not couch.

 

[fumbler]

THB and brahj on the hunt.....

Congratulating each other...........

 

[Kern Hinkely]

Do you mean handed around the playing group? What does your brother Poida think of this?

danoz plz, becum a swamprit and yous will geet the benefitz too

Kern Hinkely, The Filth Wizard wanted to be a Swamprat and MannumPower said no not ever. Kern, y yu do dis?

the filth wizard pls, minnumpiwer is not in kontroll of draftin. I know of his disslyke of yous, but I wud happily draft yous

Why u no chooz Dermien Herdwik?

fumblr pls, he is not a proofeshnul kooch

Kern Hinkely I was upset you may have been bagging my thread but was relieved to find kooch is coach not couch.

danoz pls, there is big diffrense between kooch and cowch

 

[The Half Back]

Kern Hinkely are there strippers in Alberton?

 

[spookism]

Kern Hinkely, The Filth Wizard wanted to be a Swamprat and MannumPower said no not ever. Kern, y yu do dis?

I'm calling shenagins

 

[Freakie]

Kern Hinkely , Is it true that Dern Swernn and Luk Haege will be signed soon?