Society/Culture Raising a child in a half religious home

[kfc1]

Interesting chat with mates yesterday about this.

Mate A (call him George) is married and expecting a child with his Jewish wife. He's not Jewish (agnostic) and she is a 'soft Jew' (can't think of a better term) i.e. she picks and chooses - e.g. she won't eat pig products but will eat prawns.

The question was asked as to whether the child would be raised Jewish or raised agnostic and then left to choose whether it would want to join either Judaism or another religion at an age when it could make an informed choice. George said that they would be raising the kid as a Jew and seemed happy with that decision.

The convo then led to jokes about depriving a child of bacon being borderline child abuse, but then circumcision. George is circumised and doesn't have a problem with it but times have changed since he was a kid so most people are now against it. That's a more serious question of child abuse.

Aside from the specifics of this situation it made me think what the 'right' thing to do would be in that situation, in any similar situation? To raise the child as a Jew or to let them decide at a suitable age? What about parents who are vegos/vegans and raise their children as vegans? (is breast milk considered vegan?)

 

[little graham]

Science has shown organic pig meat as perhaps the best meat you can eat if recovering from an illness and injury. It has a moderate amount of protein that does not overly stress the liver, which allows the liver more time to recuperate other parts of the body. Because you're recuperating you don't high amounts of protien to fuel. It also has a high natural fat content that allows the body to remove toxins (especilay free radicals) Those fats are really important to neurological heath.

 

[blackcat]

its pretty easy to raise a child secular in australia.

the more difficult aspect, is a values system. this is not begging question on religion = values. i contest that position my mother will tell me.

if the home is safe and secure and the parents stable, it is a pretty good indicator so will the child. Now, if the genetics manifest an anti-social personality disorder spectrum, you cant now fiddle with the genes, but a positive atmosphere can ameliorate the most egregious of symptoms of such psychopathy

 

[little graham]

its pretty easy to raise a child secular in australia.

I've learnt more from people brought up with mixed heritage. Through trial and error, they work out what works, what doesn't as society, religion,culture and race evolves.

Apart from from those from the north western islands of Scotland. Those people are almost perfect.

 

[Floor Pie]

Interesting chat with mates yesterday about this.

Mate A (call him George) is married and expecting a child with his Jewish wife. He's not Jewish (agnostic) and she is a 'soft Jew' (can't think of a better term) i.e. she picks and chooses - e.g. she won't eat pig products but will eat prawns.

The question was asked as to whether the child would be raised Jewish or raised agnostic and then left to choose whether it would want to join either Judaism or another religion at an age when it could make an informed choice. George said that they would be raising the kid as a Jew and seemed happy with that decision.

The convo then led to jokes about depriving a child of bacon being borderline child abuse, but then circumcision. George is circumised and doesn't have a problem with it but times have changed since he was a kid so most people are now against it. That's a more serious question of child abuse.

Aside from the specifics of this situation it made me think what the 'right' thing to do would be in that situation, in any similar situation? To raise the child as a Jew or to let them decide at a suitable age? What about parents who are vegos/vegans and raise their children as vegans? (is breast milk considered vegan?)

Really interesting question.

What should be done?
I would say, that if you have a religion when you have a child, it would be hard to stop practicing that religion, to let them make their own way.
If you honestly believe it's the right way to understand, and live, life, it would be very hard not to try and raise your child to the same values and beliefs.

You should be in charge of how your child is raised, not the state.

But, then you also have to consider child abuse, and the welfare of the child.
Is teaching or pushing religion onto a child, abuse?
Would people who celebrate Christmas, and tell stories of Santa, have to be concerned of state intervention?


When religion is gone, the problem will go. You can raise your child with the morals you learned from your religion (if that's where you learned them), without needing to push religion.

 

[blackcat]

I've learnt more from people brought up with mixed heritage. Through trial and error, they work out what works, what doesn't as society, religion,culture and race evolves.

Apart from from those from the north western islands of Scotland. Those people are almost perfect.

MaddAdam think that is a backhander

 

[fleabitten]

Both parents should inform the kids of their own belief systems and let them decide for themselves as they get older (whether it be in favour of one or the other parent or something completely different). I don't think I could stand by quietly and let my child be raised to believe things that I thought were nonsense. If it was important to my wife, I'd let her say her bit and I'd say mine and may the best philosophy win.

 

[kfc1]

Both parents should inform the kids of their own belief systems and let them decide for themselves as they get older (whether it be in favour of one or the other parent or something completely different). I don't think I could stand by quietly and let my child be raised to believe things that I thought were nonsense. If it was important to my wife, I'd let her say her bit and I'd say mine and may the best philosophy win.

That works for values (as blackcat alluded to) but less so for the particular customs that a religion or belief system adheres to. Values can wait until a child is old enough to begin understanding them but not so well for the dietary restrictions I mentioned, or even circumcision.

 

[fleabitten]

That works for values (as blackcat alluded to) but less so for the particular customs that a religion or belief system adheres to. Values can wait until a child is old enough to begin understanding them but not so well for the dietary restrictions I mentioned, or even circumcision.

True. With dietary restrictions, then sure...go ahead and restrict if it's important to one of the parents. It's not hurting a kid not to eat pork.

Circumcision I can see being a big problem if one parent deems it necessary and the other thinks its child abuse. In some countries they don't circumcise boys until they are older, so that might be a compromise. Leave him be until he's old enough to decide.

 

[blackcat]

That works for values (as blackcat alluded to) but less so for the particular customs that a religion or belief system adheres to. Values can wait until a child is old enough to begin understanding them but not so well for the dietary restrictions I mentioned, or even circumcision.

circumcision really does not matter. if an adult mourns his lost foreskin, i think there are more problems less corporal than this. or more than corporal, psychological.

dietary requirements, dont matter neither. they can taste bacon the first time as teenagers if they wish, and they will want to.

it is more the ingrained custom that one is taken for granted and imbued, that, we do this this way, and that that way, cos we are micks/mussies/jews. That would be hard to find a neutral course to navigate. But I think it is overrated anyway, secular overrated, sectarian overrated, as long is it not the lifeforce unless the person as a teen adopts in autonomously as his/her lifeforce.

 

[Partridge]

But, then you also have to consider child abuse, and the welfare of the child.
Is teaching or pushing religion onto a child, abuse?
Would people who celebrate Christmas, and tell stories of Santa, have to be concerned of state intervention?

I wouldn't think so. Christmas is 99% secular anyway. Santa has zero to do with traditional religion.

I wouldn't worry about morality, we can work it out just fine without ancient myths.

 

[Bomberboyokay]

Your friend's wife will teach their kid Judaism because the kid definitely won't believe it if introduced as an adult.

Every religious person is like this.

 

[Pie eyed]

its pretty easy to raise a child secular in australia.

the more difficult aspect, is a values system. this is not begging question on religion = values. i contest that position my mother will tell me.

if the home is safe and secure and the parents stable, it is a pretty good indicator so will the child. Now, if the genetics manifest an anti-social personality disorder spectrum, you cant now fiddle with the genes, but a positive atmosphere can ameliorate the most egregious of symptoms of such psychopathy

Add to that lead free petrol and you've got a winner.

 

[ep2018]

How can you be with a religious person if you're atheist/agnostic? And vice versa. Would drive both parties insane........

 

[Pie eyed]

Both parents should inform the kids of their own belief systems and let them decide for themselves as they get older (whether it be in favour of one or the other parent or something completely different). I don't think I could stand by quietly and let my child be raised to believe things that I thought were nonsense. If it was important to my wife, I'd let her say her bit and I'd say mine and may the best philosophy win.

Is what a parent believes really relevant or even helpful? There are some incredibly moronic parents out there.
Teach them critical analysis, how to form an informed opinion.

 

[kfc1]

How can you be with a religious person if you're atheist/agnostic? And vice versa. Would drive both parties insane........

I suppose it really depends how intensely religious one person is and how tolerant the agnostic/atheist is. Obviously hard core people on either side arent going to match but moderates should be able to sustain a healthy respect for each others' differences and traditions. In my eyes the major conflict comes when it is time to raise children which is why I started this thread.

 

[The Coup]

the child will end up half ****ed in the head, statistically.

 

[blackcat]

I suppose it really depends how intensely religious one person is and how tolerant the agnostic/atheist is. Obviously hard core people on either side arent going to match but moderates should be able to sustain a healthy respect for each others' differences and traditions. In my eyes the major conflict comes when it is time to raise children which is why I started this thread.

How can you be with a religious person if you're atheist/agnostic? And vice versa. Would drive both parties insane........

culturally so. one cannot deny that much culture stems from religion

#goebbels
#luger

 

[swingdog]

If you take the approach that the child can choose after listening to both points of view, you can bet athiesm / agnosticism will win for the simple reason that once children are of an age where they can reason and judge, then religion sounds ridiculous ("you want to cut off my what!?!).

And they're lazy. My wife's soft Catholic - really only goes to church at Christmas and Easter, and for the usual family rituals of baptisms etc - so, now she drags the kids along on those occasions but they're not convinced ("how come Dad gets to stay home watching the cricket?").

 

[Partridge]

If you take the approach that the child can choose after listening to both points of view, you can bet athiesm / agnosticism will win for the simple reason that once children are of an age where they can reason and judge, then religion sounds ridiculous ("you want to cut off my what!?!).

And they're lazy. My wife's soft Catholic - really only goes to church at Christmas and Easter, and for the usual family rituals of baptisms etc - so, now she drags the kids along on those occasions but they're not convinced ("how come Dad gets to stay home watching the cricket?").

If my spouse ever tried to take my child to church the next thing she'd get would be divorce papers.

 

[swingdog]

The thing that kills off religion is not opposition. It's indifference.

 

[RUNVS]

The thing that kills off religion is not opposition. It's indifference.

and a lot of people who technically class themselves as believing in a particular religion are indifferent. The local church in my area never seems to have more than 5 or 6 cars in it even on Sunday morning.

 

[CLUBMEDhurst]

circumcision really does not matter. if an adult mourns his lost foreskin, i think there are more problems less corporal than this. or more than corporal, psychological.

.

Does for me. No gruyere on my bratwurst

 

[kfc1]

Does for me. No gruyere on my bratwurst

 

[WA ROO]

How can you be with a religious person if you're atheist/agnostic? And vice versa. Would drive both parties insane........

It does
Also confuses the kids