Random thoughts not worthy of a thread (Part I)

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I moved to Melbourne about five or six weeks ago.
Living in Brunswick.
Preliminary final week I went into the tiny cubicle that is the Brunswick Green's male toilet & thought, geez this kind of looks familiar, but I've never been to this bar. Guess it's just the Melbourne style graffiti covering every square center inch of the joint that had me confused with another bathroom.
As I'm pissing in the broken toilet bowl occupying the kennel sized lavatory I look up & see the all to familiar drunken markings of marklovesbeer that have followed me around the globe the past twenty years (picture 1).
Well, I guess I have been in here before...!

Tonight I knocked off after a ten hours shift serving beers & dragged my weary feet back into one of my many new watering holes along the strip that is Sydney Road, only to find picture 2...!

Whether this happened immediately following NMFC vs COLA by a fickle Jack Reacher style supporter (not pointing fingers) in a heated post game rage or just by the bar staff on their toilet check rounds on a quiet night in need of something to do...
It was sad to see just a minute ago & I know what I will be asking for in the inaugural NMFC Big footy Secret Santa ...I big black texta.

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marklovesbeer said:
I moved to Melbourne about five or six weeks ago.
Living in Brunswick.
Preliminary final week I went into the tiny cubicle that is the Brunswick Green's male toilet & thought, geez this kind of looks familiar, but I've never been to this bar. Guess it's just the Melbourne style graffiti covering every square center inch of the joint that had me confused with another bathroom.
As I'm pissing in the broken toilet bowl occupying the kennel sized lavatory I look up & see the all to familiar drunken markings of marklovesbeer that have followed me around the globe the past twenty years (picture 1).
Well, I guess I have been in here before...!

Tonight I knocked off after a ten hours shift serving beers & dragged my weary feet back into one of my many new watering holes along the strip that is Sydney Road, only to find picture 2...!

Whether this happened immediately following NMFC vs COLA by a fickle Jack Reacher style supporter (not pointing fingers) in a heated post game rage or just by the bar staff on their toilet check rounds on a quiet night in need of something to do...
It was sad to see just a minute ago & I know what I will be asking for in the inaugural NMFC Big footy Secret Santa ...I big black texta.

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Sorted.
 
Paul Bryce.
 
http://www.amazon.com/Veet-Hair-Removal-Creme-200ml/dp/B000KKNQBK/?tag=tmcave-20

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considerd myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen.
I didn't have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me.
The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect..
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LCynic said:
So I'll be a volunteer for the Spring Fling festival thing in North Melbourne on Sunday. Didn't know North Melbourne Kangas would be there with kicking games and exercise activities. I won't get to see any of it with a shift from 1 to 8. :shrugs:
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Will there be a Spring Fling King and Queen?

(Sorry. I've seen Mean Girls too many times and you set me right up for that one.)
 
Keep an eye for the fat Baldheaded #97 at full back

 
I'm a teacher and today is my birthday. One kid asked me what I wanted and I said "peace and quiet" so he moved away from his best mate and didn't sit with him all day. Absolute legend.
 
miss_kate18 said:
I'm a teacher and today is my birthday. One kid asked me what I wanted and I said "peace and quiet" so he moved away from his best mate and didn't sit with him all day. Absolute legend.
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That's ******* grouse.

Give him an A.
 

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miss_kate18 said:
I'm a teacher and today is my birthday. One kid asked me what I wanted and I said "peace and quiet" so he moved away from his best mate and didn't sit with him all day. Absolute legend.
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Happy birthday miss_kate26.
 
Twinkletoes said:
Happy birthday miss_kate26.
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Thanks Toes. Apart from a close relative forgetting my age I've had a lot of love today. Cards from some of the boys I teach as well.
 
bengrina said:
Interested to know what people think we would get if we put Cunners on the trade table. Could we get pick 1? (wouldn't trade him just interested)
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Hypotheticals are great :s

If we think pick 25 is unders for Levi and a brownlow medalist is unders for a fringe player, than picks 1, 2 and 3 plus throwing in Boyd will be unders for Cunners.
 
Breaking news out of the NRL....

@heraldsunsport: Breaking #NRL news: Hayne quits League for crack at #NFL - like Buddy quitting AFL http://t.co/trVo1yKU7j

It appears the silly season isn't limited to AFL at this time of year.
 
Twinkletoes said:
Breaking news out of the NRL....

@heraldsunsport: Breaking #NRL news: Hayne quits League for crack at #NFL - like Buddy quitting AFL http://t.co/trVo1yKU7j

It appears the silly season isn't limited to AFL at this time of year.
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Is this serious?!

Surely playing in the curiously cashed up UK or French union or league setups would be more lucrative and likely to work?
 
King Corey said:
Is this serious?!

Surely playing in the curiously cashed up UK or French union or league setups would be more lucrative and likely to work?
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100% seriouslyness, yep. He's giving up the mega bucks of the newly cashed up NRL, and on the back of winning the Dally M, for an extremely remote opportunity that an NFL club will give him a trial prior to season 2015/16. He'll be training alone throughout this coming Northern Hemisphere Winter trying to learn the game's nuances and having an agent door knock clubs selling his untried wares. It's incredible!
 
Twinkletoes said:
100% seriouslyness, yep. He's giving up the mega bucks of the newly cashed up NRL, and on the back of winning the Dally M, for an extremely remote opportunity that an NFL club will give him a trial prior to season 2015/16. He'll be training alone throughout this coming Northern Hemisphere Winter trying to learn the game's nuances and having an agent door knock clubs selling his untried wares. It's incredible!
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Wow! I don't want to talk him down because the experience of living there is great for him as a person and it takes serious balls to try it.

But... am very sceptical of him making it. Standing out as an athlete in the 2nd-3rd most popular football domestic code in Australia may not stack up against the sheer number of young athletes coming through over there who have played the game all their life. Hell not just played, their pathways are borderline robotic, probably drilled to within an inch of their life at high school and college level.

Punting is a slight anomaly because I'm guessing far less kids do it and most don't spend years working on it. So an AFL player with a really reliable quality kick can probably get into their top 10% immediately.
 
King Corey said:
Wow! I don't want to talk him down because the experience of living there is great for him as a person and it takes serious balls to try it.

But... am very sceptical of him making it. Standing out as an athlete in the 2nd-3rd most popular football domestic code in Australia may not stack up against the sheer number of young athletes coming through over there who have played the game all their life. Hell not just played, their pathways are borderline robotic, probably drilled to within an inch of their life at high school and college level.

Punting is a slight anomaly because I'm guessing far less kids do it and most don't spend years working on it. So an AFL player with a really reliable quality kick can probably get into their top 10% immediately.
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I'd give him less than 10% chance of making it (for the reasons you point out.)

Massive respect for taking a chance though, maybe he just wants the challenge for personal reasons. Either way good on him I reckon.
 
They were talking about him being a kick returner, which is essentially the same as a fullback in nrl. So I think he's a reasonable chance.
 
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