Roys FC (sweet FA) Roys (Gorillas) FC - Season 12 - General Thread - Start Here If New

Remove this Banner Ad

Round 9 Vs Bombers atAbdu Prison

The longset road trip in the SFA - would the Partridge Family team bus be up to it. Heading into a "dry" country, players wasted no time in hiding alcohol in every nook, cranny & body cavity. Fortunately some players have body cavities large enough to ensure no thirst went unsated.

Probably the best bit of team selection in the history of Roys FC - No change!

The pre-game banter was one of the lamest ever & the Bombers couldn't use the excuse of leaving their talking out on the field cos they were just as shiite out there. The good guys up by 20, with only our shiite kicking matched with the Bombers accurate shooting keeping the margin that low (that and the message went out that we had the team bus on a Roy win by less than 23.5). Roylion a target up front, but the target he was kicking at must have seemed small: 2-5 for the game. flea29 finally dusted off his silky skills & sblack showed the travel just didn't bother him.

5 IMS
4 flea29
3 sblack
2 royboy2
1 CtR
 
Roys with all the momentum with 3 HUGE wins on the trot. SFA hierachy stepped in and scheduled the SOO series in an attempt to put a brake on the Roy juggernaut.

Round 10 Vs Gumbies at Beautiful Brunny St

Just 2 wins outside the 4 & playing at home. Everything looked good for a 4th win until the selectors came out with some suprise changes to a winning line-up, ignoring the adage "don't mess with me girlfriend, or a winning side". More eyebrows were raised when the Gumby line-up was announced which contained more changes than mathematically possible. Clearly something was going on. When a large contingent of Pakistani bookmakers sought tickets for the game, the local bookies cried "enough" & refused to take further bets.

To important matters -sblack rostered onto the BBQ, hoping his on-field form from Abdu Prison, plus a few suprise middle eastern spices would do the trick.

Gumbies jumped us, leading 5 goals to 2 at the first change. Turned into a bit of an arm wrestle afterwards. In the move of the game FattyLumpkin forgot to change ends at 1/4 time & found himself wandering around the forward line un-marked. A classic bit of commentary...
"FattyLumpkin too far out to score, or is he? They'll be talking about that goal tonight"

They almost got it right - instead of "they'll" insert "he'll" as he did and pi$$ed off team-mates, opposition and strangers alike with his continual re-enactment of what I'd have to admit was the goal of the season, if not century (I'm still waiting for my plasma thanks).

Back to the game....

On the back of the Fats (Pizza/Lumpkin), Roys up by 15 at the last break & 4 in a row tantalising close. Cue the Pakistani bookies & a few dodgy umpiring decisions & we see the Gumbies up by 4 points at the 20 min mark. A quick snap by yours truly puts the good guys back in front - a lead that lasts just 30 seconds. As time runs out a hurried snap under enormous pressure by Fred just grazes the upright and we go down by 3 points in a heartbreaker.

5 FatPizza
4 CtR
3 RoyBoy2
2 IMS
1 FattyL
 

Log in to remove this ad.

Broken Medal Leaderboard after 10 rounds.

16 Reardo
13 CtR, Royboy2
12 FattyPizza
11 Fred, IMS, sblack
9 killer
8 RoyFitzlion, 3KZ
6 JakethePeg, Lionsman, RoyLion
5 don Vito, Maroon Goon
4 Mobbs, flea29
3 FattyLumpkin, The Lions
 
Round 11 Vs Demons at the Snow Dome

A bit of pre-game taunting from the Dee's calling us a "bunch of hacks", "alcoholics" etc - Them's a pre-req for donning the Roys jumper:thumbsu:

BIG question in all the papers during the week "Can the Roys bounce back from last weeks heartbreaker". The selectors had no idea & announced "no changes".

A slog-fest in the first quarter, played in appaling conditions with rain pelting side-ways from every conceivable angle. The good guys like it when its wet & slipped out to an 8 point lead, then put the flippers to the metal and arrived in the sheds at the half 4 goals up. The half-time schnapps certainly had the desired effect with the Roys dozing off and the dees creeping to within 14 at the last break, then tying up the game at the 17 minute mark of the last. Cue TheLionsDen - he steps up and bags his 3rd in the slop to regain the lead and secure the points.

Demons 7-8, Roys 8-8

5 IMS
4 Reardo
3 FatPizza
2 Royboy2
1 TheLionsDen

Special mention to FatsLumpkin who failed to bother the statistician.
 
Round 12 Vs East Side Hawks at BBS (Beautiful Brunny St)

For the first time this season the F word is used. Thats F for Finals. The F#*k word is used often and a good thing too, with the swear jar being the clubs major source of income - yes, even surpassing the bar takings and the meat tray raffle! For the life of me I can't fathom why Fitzroy of the late 80's/90's didn't incorporate the swear jar into their club culture. With the likes of Les Parish, The Doc, Billy McCormack & of course Mr Ironmonger at the club, the $$$$'s would have come flooding in and instead of having to sell the likes of Pert, Blake, Broderick, Lynch, Roos etc, we would have been the rapers of other clubs. A home game against the world class swearers from Vic Park alone would have brought in $100k - but I digress....

F = Finals, and Roys FC finds themselves just a sniff out of 4th spot, but with top side to play. The Hawks were on good terms with the sim and had only suffered defeat once to date.

Yet another unchanged side. A little investigation revealed the selectors just left last weeks side on the table & wandered next door to the "gentlemans club".

Fred on BBQ roster.

A lot of agro leading up to the first bounce with Killer starting an all in melee prior to the siren, and again during the 3rd quarter. MarroonGoon and Jake the Peg followed his lead by instigating a wild brawl at half time - against the mini-leaguers!

2 mins into the game, FattyL gets a stat - no donuts for him this week. It was a close first 1/4 with only 1 goal in it. The Hawks extended their lead to 18 at the half. Things get worse in the 3rd and the good guys are staring at big defeat. On the back of the reporting of Secular Bicep, the Roys rallied but couldn't close the gap, going down by 18.

Points awarded to killer for his "negotiation" skills, and to SB for being reported 6 times in a row (and getting off each time). Those photos of the Tribunal Chairperson must really help!
5 FatPizza
4 sblack
3 royboy2
2 Reardo
1 FattyL, killer, secular bicep

Meat Raffle - Green, G54
 
Broken Medal Leaderboard to Round 12

Reardo 22
FatPizza 20
Royboy2 18
IMS 16
sblack 15
CtR 13
Fred 11
killer 10
RoyFitzlion, 3KZ 8
JtP, Lionsman, Roylion 6
MaroonGoon, donVito, The Lions Den 5
flea29, Mobbs, FLumpy 4
Secular Bicep 1
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

Round 13 Vs West Coast w***ers at Beautiful Brunny St

Roys in damage control early in week when it was revealed that mandatory drug testing recorded Fred as sober in last weeks game (I wondered why the BBQ tasted shiite!). Mobbs continued posting absence saw an un-solicited outpouring of "I miss Mobbs" from both sides, making this the official Mobbs Appreciation Game.

Both sides needed a win to keep them in finals contention, or a loss to lock in end of season trip plans. No suprise as the Roys entered the clash with an unchanged side. Reardo rostered on the BBQ - the good news there would be absolutely no chance of a repeat of last week when the head chef was sober. Sensational choice of chicken wings, lamb leg steaks plus the garlic prawns earnt himself a vote.

Slow start to the good guys down 1-2 to 3-3 at 1/4 time. A very ugly 2nd quarter. Thank god Fred was well and truly juiced up as he was the sides only contributor, booting both the teams goals to half time. It didn't get much better after half time, going down 8-11 to 14-8. Another set of donuts to FattyLumpkin, whilst kooka & IMS both scored with opposition cheerleaders at the long break (Gotta be worth 5 points apiece)

Meat Raffle Results a green ticket G54

End of season trip - here we come.

5 Royboy2
5 kooka, IMS
4 Fat Pizza
3 Fred
2 don Vito
1 sblack, Reardo
 
Cheers, I don't expect to poll another vote, given that the back half of my year was shite.

Reardo 44 said:
FYI 3KZ has made it home minus two testicles (he obviously now has three).
Click to expand...

Still, for my first season and given that I have apparently have a physical handicap (three testicles), I am happy with my performance. In my playing days, it was said that I would give my "left nut" for my team mates, so holding that thought, I'm hoping for a triple dead heat between Fat Pizza, RoyBoy2 and Reardo, which would be a fitting end to the season and should see takings over the bar skyrocket.

Can't wait for next season.
 
Quality count! Will IMS get BOG in the final game to grab his usual 3rd spot? That's the ruror I heard!
 
Freakie said:
Quality count! Will IMS get BOG in the final game to grab his usual 3rd spot? That's the ruror I heard!
Click to expand...

Once again, 2nd or 3rd spot will more than suffice....

FattyLumpkin said:
not unless money changes hands, but there's still time:D
Click to expand...

Good, cos I have plenty after pimping Reardo out to that strange group of German female athletes.. At least I think they were female... :eek:

Still tipping a Reardo victory.. Although could Fat Pizza go back to back!!!
 
If I win one of 3KZ's testicles, I will donate it back to the club, so it can be added to next season's meat tray raffle. :eek:
 
Just discovered the bloody sim didn't give me any DT points to go by for the last round. I'm on my own.......

Then again would 5,4,3,2 & 1 all to FL get me over the line?:D
 
FattyLumpkin said:
Just discovered the bloody sim didn't give me any DT points to go by for the last round. I'm on my own.......

Then again would 5,4,3,2 & 1 all to FL get me over the line?:D
Click to expand...

I don't need to be that greedy.. Just the 5 with no votes to the guys already in front will do just nicely :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Remove this Banner Ad

Back
Top