- Apr 18, 2014
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- #226
Used to work with a bloke who would occasionally s**t his pants during the day and just keep working.
Society & Culture Strange people you have worked with
- Thread starter yarran13
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- Mar 25, 2003
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Two weirdos - taken on as trainees. Both the result of drug use.
One of them I came to conclusion she couldn't actually read. We set her the most simple and menial task to start with, going into a store room where customer files were stored in alpha order, and retrieving the archived files for the other staff who needed them. She took ages and often got it wrong. I reckon she was matching up the shapes of the letters and hoping to get it right. Oh, and she always wore long sleeves right down to her wrists. One day someone saw her arm without the sleeve, and it was full of tracks. Or so I'm told.
The other was just weird. She spun this story about living with a violent brother who bashed her. Then he died, and she had more time off to attend the funeral. Turns out there was no brother. She was just wasted and took time off work.
One of them I came to conclusion she couldn't actually read. We set her the most simple and menial task to start with, going into a store room where customer files were stored in alpha order, and retrieving the archived files for the other staff who needed them. She took ages and often got it wrong. I reckon she was matching up the shapes of the letters and hoping to get it right. Oh, and she always wore long sleeves right down to her wrists. One day someone saw her arm without the sleeve, and it was full of tracks. Or so I'm told.
The other was just weird. She spun this story about living with a violent brother who bashed her. Then he died, and she had more time off to attend the funeral. Turns out there was no brother. She was just wasted and took time off work.
- Mar 25, 2003
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Not sure if that's strange or just two unfortunate lasses who have had a really rough life.
It is weird to me. Outside of my experience.
I mean I've made up bullshit stories about having the very odd day off work, but I've never invented a relative who didn't exist, and string people along for weeks.
- Mar 25, 2003
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Yeah true. I guess it's better than saying your grandmother (who exists) died... That karma bus will come crashing soon enough.
I think the "worst" I've done is I had to come in with a wrist brace on Monday (and for a few weeks after) when I rang up Friday morning and said I broke my wrist at footy training. It seemed like a good idea when Friday morning rolled around and I was a million beers from sober.
This girl did a very good impression of someone trying to make a go of it but being held back by a bad family environment. Had us all fooled for a long while.
What ended up happening is that her mum got fed up and kicked her out of home. One of the older ladies at work took her in because she had nowhere else to go. Said lady had a son who was (also) a druggie dead-beat. They hooked up together, did drugs together, and then had a kid. This was a few months after she just stopped turning up to work. Anyway, said lady eventually met the mother of said girl to discuss how to look after the grand-child because the couple were not capable of it, found out that all the stories were bullshit, there never was a brother. as far as i know they still share custody of the grand-child and have both cut off the son & daughter.
What ended up happening is that her mum got fed up and kicked her out of home. One of the older ladies at work took her in because she had nowhere else to go. Said lady had a son who was (also) a druggie dead-beat. They hooked up together, did drugs together, and then had a kid. This was a few months after she just stopped turning up to work. Anyway, said lady eventually met the mother of said girl to discuss how to look after the grand-child because the couple were not capable of it, found out that all the stories were bullshit, there never was a brother. as far as i know they still share custody of the grand-child and have both cut off the son & daughter.
- Apr 2, 2013
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Put me down as hating these. Find them hard work at times plus there is one every other week so if you don't want half a pound of chocolate cake one morning it is not intended to offend/make a statement/ but simply you don't want one. I'm all for it if in the mood but some days you just want to rock up/work/go home rather than be judged by some forced social interaction.
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I have some strange characters that I work with, I'll tell you that for free.
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the ******* stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big ******* dog to work. Every ******* day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single ******* day.
Anyway, I drive these dipshits around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the ******* stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big ******* dog to work. Every ******* day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single ******* day.
Anyway, I drive these dipshits around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.
Oh man, im crying. Lol'd hard
Like a boss!
- Banned
- #237
One of the funniest things I've read. Hilarious..
IAMJUNGLEMUFFIN
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- #238
#1 could be a diabetic? Don't they have random weight swings and need to keep track of it?
IAMJUNGLEMUFFIN
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- #239
Least it wasn't Ol Nessy aslomg fpr tree fiddy.
- Aug 19, 2013
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- Aug 15, 2004
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An African guy was cranking up Martin Luther King's speech at work on Saturday. Just a bit odd.
- Sep 2, 2014
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Which NRL club did you work for?
- Sep 2, 2014
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Man if you made that up kudos. Funniest thing I've seen on bigfooty.
- Jan 13, 2001
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I've worked with a few weird ones.
I've worked with a few OCD people who have an issue with hygiene and want to disinfect their hands every time they come into contact with someone, but having that disorder and working in hospitality was a little bit much. The bloke went through I reckon a bottle of the hospital stuff a week, I laughed at first then it just got weird. He got sacked when the owner was in one day (he used to work once a month and say "he was in touch with staff and clients", his first reaction was the same as mine, but after seeing him do it about 10 times in an hour fired him.
Worked with a woman who would bathe in cheap perfume. Whilst this was enough to make you want to gag, the fact she was about 50, tried dressing like a teenager, mutton dressed up like lamb isn't good, but size 18 mutton doing it should be sent to the slaughterhouse. Just to take the full trifecta she was suffering from baldness didn't help. It's bad enough for blokes to use the black fake her spray on their heads, but on a woman it just looks terrible. (for the record she came for Moe and was a grandmother at 37).
Worked with plenty of drunks, but there is something seriously wrong about sitting in the boardroom of the office drinking whiskey watching test cricket during work hours with your boss. This was a regular occurrence during Ashes tours and close test matches, we'd then go back to look through emails and do some work at various times during the afternoon and during session breaks. The company supposedly had a no-drinking policy during work hours.
I've worked with a few OCD people who have an issue with hygiene and want to disinfect their hands every time they come into contact with someone, but having that disorder and working in hospitality was a little bit much. The bloke went through I reckon a bottle of the hospital stuff a week, I laughed at first then it just got weird. He got sacked when the owner was in one day (he used to work once a month and say "he was in touch with staff and clients", his first reaction was the same as mine, but after seeing him do it about 10 times in an hour fired him.
Worked with a woman who would bathe in cheap perfume. Whilst this was enough to make you want to gag, the fact she was about 50, tried dressing like a teenager, mutton dressed up like lamb isn't good, but size 18 mutton doing it should be sent to the slaughterhouse. Just to take the full trifecta she was suffering from baldness didn't help. It's bad enough for blokes to use the black fake her spray on their heads, but on a woman it just looks terrible. (for the record she came for Moe and was a grandmother at 37).
Worked with plenty of drunks, but there is something seriously wrong about sitting in the boardroom of the office drinking whiskey watching test cricket during work hours with your boss. This was a regular occurrence during Ashes tours and close test matches, we'd then go back to look through emails and do some work at various times during the afternoon and during session breaks. The company supposedly had a no-drinking policy during work hours.
- Sep 2, 2014
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What's a meme?
- Nov 24, 2007
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blue tops. that is all
If this includes ties then Tony Abbott dislikes this post
- Nov 24, 2007
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probably would being part of the public sector 
good observations
good observations
- May 5, 2006
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