Stuff that happened at school

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IschenkoUBeauty

IschenkoUBeauty

Norm Smith Medallist
Suspended
Apr 18, 2014
5,860
8,748
AFL Club
North Melbourne
This can get us through the off-season. Post funny stories about s**t that happened when you went to school.

I'll get the ball rolling. When we were about 7 years old doing show and tell, this girl in my class said when it was her turn - "Good morning everyone. My dad was an alcoholic but he quit."

:cry::cry::D:D

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A mate threw another kids school bag onto a classroom roof, a teacher came round the corner and saw us all looking up at the bag and straight away pinpointed exactly who the culprit was..."Jones, how did that bag get onto the roof?"
Straight away...not a moments hesitation "It fell sir"

Maybe you had to be there, but it still cracks me up to this day.
 
Got a detention on the first day of kindergarten for biting, got suspended during the last week of my year 12 studies for hacking a mate's school account and sending mass emails to everyone saying that (my mate) was a homo and had the hots for steve jobs and jebus. At a religious school it didn't go down well as the email went to both primary and secondary schools, pastors, teachers, students, staff, everyone including parents. The only thing they picked out was the jebus part, not the fact that l hacked my mate's account. I recored 35 detentions during my time at school and only 1 of them (my first one) wasn't a practical joke/attempted prank gone wrong. The worse l did was l had a leaky pen and l was sitting behind a bloke l absolutely despised, and drew stuff on the back of his shirt and he didn't even notice.

Besides that, the worst was that l threw phone books into roof blade fans, wasn't overly smart and they're still wonky to this day, including the blades.
 

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Once there were trollies in the canteen, so me and mates went in there at recess/lunch, one person in a trolley and one person to push each trolley. We smash them together non stop (I was always pushing) then this c*** of a girl from our class came and said she was going to tell. We thought well f*** that, so old mate got out of the trolley and spun the bitch round in the trolley at high speed.

Another time we were racing up the stairs to get to some crap going on in the GP room. This indian kid looked like beating me there so I push him down and he busted his arm.
 
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Another time I got in trouble for calling some kid's mother a fat cow when she was in our class room.
 
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Another time (grade 2 I think?) I ruined some c***s work in art because it was better than mine. Arse kicked out the door, principal's office, phone call to parents.

Another time me and some mates (might have been the next week) ruined these expensive paint pens in the art room. Arses kicked out the door, principal's office, phone to parents.

Another time (kindergarten) I told a teacher I'd cut her f******g head off. Exact words. Was asked not to come back.

Another time I chucked out my lunch in prep, and the teacher saw. She got angry, and I told her to mind her own business. Phone call to parents.
 
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Another time we were in the library (grade 4) and when it was borrowing time me and the guys split up and each took an aisle. We would push the books down from the next aisle while a person was browsing/trying to borrow. My mate got a chair that I stood on, and pushed a thick book from the top shelf down into the next aisle and it hit this bitch square on the head (she was a bitch). Laughed , it was f****g funny, then the four of us got our arses kicked out the door and straight to the office.

Another time we were playing the parachute game (with the huge parachute) and me and a mate wrecked the parchute by putting a hole/tear/rip straight through the middle when we all went underneath. Arses kicked out the gym and straight to the office.
 
Went to a catholic all boys High School and one day my mate was messaging this bird one friday arvo and if you got seen with your phone in class it was taken off you sent to the vice principal, parents have to come get it etc. So anyway he asks to go to toilet with the intention of continuing to chat up this bird and hopefully meet up after school.

Anyway teacher lets him go and he's about to walk into the toilets but he hears these weird noises and was like wtf is going on, so he walks in and what he see's is two fellow yr 12's full on going at it. However, he wasn't the only one who heard, one of the four vice principals was on walk around duty (attempting to stop students leaving before the actual end of the day) and heard what my mate heard and went to investigate. So my mate said to the vice principal he'd just needed the toilet and saw this.

So he let my mate go back to class and he told me what he saw and I didn't believe him, surely not those two I thought and just laughed it off as it was some kind of joke. So the next Monday rolled around and neither of the two where at school and the same on the Tuesday and by lunch time everyone in our year level had heard what had gone on and it wasn't until Tuesday afternoon when our year level coordinator plus all four of the vice principals held an unscheduled assembly highlighting issues that homosexuals face among other things that our whole year level knew what my mate had said he saw was actually true.

When the two returned on Wednesday no one said anything and never said anything through the rest of yr 12 even through our graduation stuff, but we all knew and I suppose a vast majority of our cohort never looked at those two the same again.
 
I remember one day, probably year 8, there was this kid who was a bit mentally challenged and another guy who was just a complete a-hole, kept teasing him constantly on this day, this had been happening over all 6 periods of the day, so by the time period 6 rolled around this kid was pissed. I forget what exactly he said but the guy finally snapped turned to punch the bully but he ducked and the kid ended up hitting the guy behind him, who just so happened to be a boxer and a damn good one at that, i've never been so scared for someones life before. It was only for like 10 seconds but it did some damage and the guy was eventually moved to the support unit and then changed schools.
 
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