Roys FC (sweet FA) Sweet FA Season 17 : Roys FFC Broken medal count - Friday 11th April 2014

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Hello Las Vegas! I’m Eddie Murphy and I’m your host for this mutha ******* Broken Medal count for Season 17. Bartenders cut off that pantskyle clown.

When they told me how much of an honour it was to host this event this was my reaction

but then it dawned on me that this ******* event is better than Norbit, Pluto Nash, Dr Doolittle, Daddy Day Care and a lot of other s**t I’ve done.

With that humbling perspective I’m keen to get this mutha *er going. The first award we’re handing out will be the Good Ole Roys participation plaque and the Broken medal count will be happnin after that.

During the count the presentation of the flea29, Yippyio, ItsMyShow, Ptizzle and Royboy2 awards will be handed out. What mutha ******* crazy names! Are they Puerto Rican? Where’s the ******* GoonyGooGoo award?

While we wait for the awards I’d show you some of my best work, but I don’t think I’m allowed to get Delirious here with youngsters in the crowd, so you can just put up with this crap


 

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Man that’s some good s**t.

So Vegas hey. This place reminds me of the time I did a kilo of coke and stayed awake for 4 days and it ended up me signing up for Meet Dave! *!

Kicking off the awards event are Randy Watson and Sexual Chocolate. Let’s give it up!


Those boys were good, they got me in the mood to party – I might try that s**t too.
 
Man such a good song. Why aint I see any of you dudes dancing and s**t? What the * is wrong with you people?

The first award of the night is the Good Ole Roys award. Now I be hearing that this s**t be different to last year. This award was intended to be a weekly award being handled by Wonaeamirri33 but that mutha *er skipped town and we aint be hearing s**t from him. So fitzroybulldog be picking up the slack and this award is based on yearly performance as voted upon by the Roys players for performance through the season.

Everybody give it up for fitzroybulldog ! Way to go brother.

OK Broken show us who be winning this s**t.

GOOD OLE ROYS AWARD

8 people voted on this award and a MASSIVE thank you for those that contributed. 10 people received votes, resulting in these placings.

10th place – Volta (4 votes)

9th place – Freakie (5 votes)

8th place – pantskyle (8 votes)

Equal 6th place – Fred and Mooch (10 votes)

5th place – Reardo (11 votes)

4th place – Broken (15 votes)
 
In 3rd place with 17 votes was 3KZ is Football


In 2nd place with 18 votes is Mobbenfuhrer


So the winner, with 22 votes, is…












G_O_Roys_Winner17_zpsdcc630f2.png
 
Well done fitzroybulldog- I know it means a lot to be recognized for your efforts by your peers, you hear that you mutha ******* Academy Awards voters?

You know this isn’t the first time me and Broken have met before. Remember that time we bumped in to each other at the newsstand Broken?



Alright we be taking a break before starting the count. I hope it’s a ******* quick count as I don’t get much free time to see many movies, but I hope to catch some of these movies that are being shown in the commercial break. Maybe fitzroybulldog will pop in with a few words in the meantime.




 
Congrats FB.
 
…So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit. hehehehehehe


So welcome back to the Roys FFC Awards night. The next order of events is to welcome the Roys newest life member.

This player has represented the Roys in 120 games and has been a part of the leadership group for the past few seasons, highlighted by the captaincy in Season 15. He is a 3 time all-SFA and an EKA medallist. Welcome to the Roys FFC Hall of Fame….

REARDO!​

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​

Reardo come up here and say a few words.​
 

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Maybe later then.

The next award is the Yippyio award. Given to the Roys leading goalkicker for the season. Picking up another Yippyio medal is FREAKIE with his tally of 66 goals. Congrats Freakie !

ROYS GOALKICKERS FOR SEASON 17
66 Freakie (ROY)
21 royboy2 (ROY)
17 Pantskyle (WON/ROY)
16 fitzroybulldog (ROY)
16 Volta (ROY)
14 Cheetah (ROY)
14 FitzroyRamone (ROY)
12 Fred (ROY)
12 Slax (ROY)
12 Wonaeamirri33 (ROY)
12 Grin (ROY)
9 Cannon82 (ROY)
9 SuburbanMe (ROY)
8 wmoore (ROY)
8 3KZ is Football (ROY)
7 Reardo (ROY)
5 Broken (ROY)
4 CM Sean (ROY)
3 Carn the Roys! (ROY)
2 Mobbenfuhrer (ROY)
2 Ed_Gein (ROY)
2 TheBrownDog (ROY)
1 Bosk (ROY)
1 Roylion (ROY)
1 thecatwrangler (ROY)
1 Ptizzle (ROY)
1 CM86 (ROY)
Click to expand...

Now for the Broken medal count.

This season votes will be awarded on an 8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 basis with votes decided on the actions on the field, not necessarily the stats sheet.
 
ROUND 1

The Roys started off their season with a road trip to take on the ever hospitable Hawks. Trying to put last seasons disastrous campaign behind them the Roys fielded 5 new players (wmoore, Bosk, Cannon82, thecatwrangler and CM Sean) along with the return of retirees Freakie and FitzroyRamone.
New Full Forward, Freakie, got the Roys season started off with style and last seasons spearhead, Fred, showed he still knows how to find the sticks as their early goals gave us an early lead. A Hawks goal was answered by royboy2 but the Hawks would not relent as they opened up a 2 goal lead at the first change.
The enthusiasm of the new faces buoyed the team at the first break and we jumped out with a couple of early behinds to peg the gap. That was followed by a couple of goals to Freakie and fitzroybulldog. Then the goals stopped when we added a rushed behind. Then they started again as royboy2 kicked a hattrick of goals to take the Roys lead to 22 points. Each team scored 1 goal 1 apiece and we held the 22 point lead after the first half.
The Hawks gained the early momentum in the third quarter, and all we could manage early was 3 behinds, while they got within 12 points. Debutant thecatwrangler kicked truly but the Hawks kept coming. Royboy2 kicked his 5th goal which held the lead for us with one quarter to go.
The Roys fade out is so common that many fans wear humorous t-shirts about it, and with the Hawks drawing level it looked like business as usual. 3KZ is Football scored a behind, then FitzroyRamone kicked a goal to give the naysayers the finger. But the Hawks answered with a goal which FitzroyRamone replied to in turn and the Roys still held a 7 point lead. Another Hawks goal was keeping the game close, but the ball found its way in to the hands of 100th gamer Slax who kicked truly to give the Roys the win.
ROYS 14.12.96 Hawks 14.5.89

Votes:
8 – royboy2
7 – 3KZ is Football
6 - Cheetah
5 - fitzroybulldog
4 – Broken
3 - Reardo
2 - wmoore Mooch
1 – thecatwrangler

Match stats
 
ROUND 2

This round saw us head in to Gold City as we faced off against the Roy idolizing Royals. Much hype surrounding the Royals new recruits dominated the offseason, but the Roys were quietly going about getting better and trotted out their 6th and 7th new gorilla of the season. But it was the veteran Roy players who were doing the damage on the scoreboard. Reardo, Cheetah and Freakie got among the goals and Fred was getting plenty of touches in the middle.
Taking an 8 point lead in to the 2nd quarter the Roys built on their lead as Fred kicked truly followed by a major to debutant SuburbanMe. The Royals mounted a small comeback, but the Roys followed up two behinds with goals to Broken and Freakie, with his second, as the Roys lead was out to 28 points. However the Roys scoring stopped as the Royals added the last 4 scoring shots of the half – all behinds fortunately – which narrowed the gap to 4 goals at the half time break.
The Royals stole an early goal, which FitzroyRamone stole back, but the Royals wouldn’t be stopped as they got within 13 points before Freakie kicked his third goal of the game. It didn’t stem the tide as the home team put on the pressure to take a 2 point lead in to the last quarter.
Would the Roys fade out in Season 16 fashion or would they dig deep again like last week?
In what has now become SFA vision for the ages the footage of Freakie eyeballing the coach and saying “Just get me the ******* ball” set the scene of things to come.
With the Roys getting the lead back early in the last quarter Freakie put on a one man clinic. Freakie scored 2 goals 2 behinds in a 13 minute burst, the Royals scored 2 goals to peg it back, but Freakie wasn’t finished as he banged through his sixth and seventh goals to help the Roys secure a 20 point win. ROYS 17.10.112 Royals 14.8.92

Votes:
8 – Freakie
7 – Fred
6 - Reardo
5 - Grin
4 – wmoore Mooch
3 - FitzroyRamone
2 – Dicky Fitzwell
1 – fitzroybulldog

Match stats

Leaderboard:
9 - Reardo
8 – Freakie
8 – royboy2
7 – 3KZ is Football
7 – Fred
6 – Cheetah
6 – fitzroybulldog
6 – wmoore
5 – Grin
4 – Broken
3 - FitzroyRamone
2 – Dicky Fitzwell
1 - thecatwrangler
 
ROUND 3

A second successive season of starting out 2-0 and we headed up the mountain to face another undefeated team, in the Demons. This game also signaled the 150th game for Cheetah and his teammates were primed to put in a good one for the fastest Roy on the block.
Roys fans would have been pleased with our efforts in the first quarter taking it toe to toe with the Demons with Wonaeamirri33 and Freakie kicking goals, only the Roys loose checking of a lesser known Demons player cost us as we found ourselves down by 12 points after one quarter.
The Demons jumped out by another goal, and SuburbanMe pulled it back. Freakie and fitzroybulldog added goals, but the Demons also kicked a pair, but they added an extra point to go ahead with a 13 point lead.
Fred and wmoore were racking up the possessions but the Roys needed more players to get among it.
And get among it they did. 12 seconds into the half Wonaeamirri33 kicked his second goal, CM86 in his debut added a behind and that was followed by goals to fitzroybulldog, SuburbanMe and Slax as the Roys jumped out to a 12 point lead. The Demons could only manage a solitary behind for the quarter and Fred closed out the scoring for the quarter with a goal.
The Roys took a 17 point lead in to the last quarter and were primed to use their newly found ability to run out games this season to good use. Slax tried to start things off with a behind, Freakie kicked his third for the game, CM86 added some extra shine to his debut with a goal and Ed_Gein sliced through the Demons to goal as the Roys had a 36 point lead. The Demons answered, but Ed_Gein kept up his attack with another goal and 3KZ also slotted one home. The Roys 42 point lead was whittled by 3 late Demon points as the Roys headed in to rare air with a 3-0 record.
ROYS 15.3.93 Demons 8.6.54

Votes:
8 – Fred
7 – 3KZ is Football
6 – fitzroybulldog
5 - Broken
4 – Slax
3 - Cheetah
2 – Wonaeamirri33
1 – PTizzle

Match stats

Leaderboard:
15 – Fred
14 – 3KZ is Football
12 – fitzroybulldog
9 – Broken
9 – Cheetah
9 - Reardo
8 – Freakie
8 – royboy2
6 – wmoore
5 – Grin
4 - Slax
3 - FitzroyRamone
2 – Dicky Fitzwell
2 – Wonaeamirri33
1 – PTizzle
1 - thecatwrangler
 
These mutha *ers be telling me that the next award is called the PTizzle medal. I asked them if that’s just some jive ass Snoop Dogg s**t but they be telling me that this award is given to the Roys best first year mutha *er.

The Roys had a number of players debut for them this season: SuburbanMe, Grin, CM Sean, TheBrownDog, northmelbournefc, mooch, Cannon82 and Volta with most of them having an impact in one way or another.

However there can only be one winner and that is…..



Wait there’s two winners. Get the * out!



Mooch and Volta


Congratulations and if both, or either, of you are around we’ll wait for a few words from you before resuming the count.
 
ROUND 4

The Roys fans headed in to the Brunswick Junction Oval full of enthusiasm (and grog) as their undefeated boys hosted their first home game of the season. It was to be a tough assignment as, despite being the form side of season 17, they were coming up against the Furies who had made the last two Grand Finals.
Big game experience had the Furies out to an early 2 goal lead before the Roys settled their nerves. The Roys answered with a goal, then another, then another and another before a run of 3 Roys behinds had us 15 points up. A second goal to Wonaeamirri33 and one to Freakie pushed the lead out to 27 points before the Furies recorded their third score of the quarter (a behind).
Leading by 26 points that lead was quickly erased after the teams changed ends. The Furies now had the 4 goal wind and that’s exactly how they started the second quarter to cut the lead to 2 points. The Roys felt streaky too and shorts were shed left, right and center before the Roys put on 21 unanswered points aided by a couple of goals by Royboy2. A Furies goal made the gap 17 points at the break and the BJO was rocking as the Roys headed in to the rooms.
Royboy2 kicked his 3rd to open the second half and in the 19 minutes that followed the Roys could only manage a rushed behind as the Furies increased their pressure to get out to a 13 point lead. Cheetah and Wonaeamirri33 had chances to goal, but both missed, cutting the lead to 11 points.
The home crowd was imploring their boys to get up in the last quarter and some well-aimed cans pegged at the opposition would put the best of players off their game. However the battle hardened Furies would not succumb and slowly added to their score while preventing the Roys from scoring. With 15 minutes gone in the last quarter the Furies had pushed out to a 33 point lead. Royboy2 kicked his 4th and 5th but that was matched by the Furies and the Roys ended up tasting their first loss of the season. Which tasted pretty crappy.
ROYS 12.10.82 Furies 18.7.115

Votes:
8 – wmoore Mooch
7 – Reardo
6 – Mobbenfuhrer
5 – royboy2
4 – 3KZ is Football
3 - fitzroybulldog
2 – Cannon82
1 – Slax

Match stats

Leaderboard:
18 – 3KZ is Football
16 – Reardo
15 – fitzroybulldog
15 – Fred
14 – wmoore
13 – royboy2
9 – Broken
9 – Cheetah
8 – Freakie
6 – Mobbenfuhrer
5 – Grin
5 - Slax
3 – FitzroyRamone
2 – Cannon82
2 – Dicky Fitzwell
2 – Wonaeamirri33
1 – PTizzle
1 - thecatwrangler
 
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