Certified Legendary Thread TAB's- Full of "characters" ???

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Found an old favourite from the past today.
The confetti expert. Got no idea how to fill in a ticket so has verbal bets with the operator. After watching each of his bets lose, decides to rip his tickets up into 100 small squares and throws them in disgust all over the ground. Operator goes out to clean up the mess and he misses out on getting a winning bet on a bush meeting.
Leaves after abusing operator.
 
I love going into TAB's...it's classic..I don't do it enough.

However it can be depressing when u see a lot of blokes with serious gambling problems.
 
Angus Young said:
I love going into TAB's...it's classic..I don't do it enough.

However it can be depressing when u see a lot of blokes with serious gambling problems.
Click to expand...
Brent Guerra used to frequent my local.

Always wondered why he didn't have something better to do, but I figure it's his life; constantly looked like he was sinking it, never thought about how much though until it came out.
 

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My punting habits have changed a bit over the years. I now roll in early in the day, put all my quaddies on in 1 hit (usually coinciding with race 1, so the tote is quiet and I'm not hogging the EBT), have a quick pot while watching the first at Melb and Syd, then off to the kids sports. As much as I've embraced all the punting apps, for some reason I still love having the quaddie tickets in my wallet on a weekend.

Three can be added:

The High-Five Gang. A team of 2-6 guys hanging out together, all backing the same horse in each race. If they're having a good day, the tote resembles an NBA all-star game with all the slaps they hand out to each other.

The Connections Guy. He's got a tip for a horse that his brother/son/mate/dad/colleague owns a share of. Trainer said it's going way better than (insert multiple group winning stable mate), and they won't catch it. When it puts in a poor run and you bump into him again, he tells you it's pissed all the connections off, but it's alright, they're going to sell it to someone in Hong Kong. This guy also speaks to about 8-10 prominent trainers directly every week. Seems a bit unhinged.

The "Mum/Matron". She works behind the jump. Can man the bar, the tote, the punters club, tell you who got the highest score in the footy tips last week, change the form on the boards and tidy up the losing tickets, all on her own and all while calling everyone Darl and listening to inane punting war stories from the down-and-outs. She's the opposite of the surly bitch behind the jump doing nothing. They aren't as common as surly bitch unfortunately.
 
Angus Young said:
I love going into TAB's...it's classic..I don't do it enough.

However it can be depressing when u see a lot of blokes with serious gambling problems.
Click to expand...

You think you're better than me? What, because you wear a shirt??
 
Harvey Leadpipe said:
My punting habits have changed a bit over the years. I now roll in early in the day, put all my quaddies on in 1 hit (usually coinciding with race 1, so the tote is quiet and I'm not hogging the EBT), have a quick pot while watching the first at Melb and Syd, then off to the kids sports. As much as I've embraced all the punting apps, for some reason I still love having the quaddie tickets in my wallet on a weekend.

Three can be added:

The High-Five Gang. A team of 2-6 guys hanging out together, all backing the same horse in each race. If they're having a good day, the tote resembles an NBA all-star game with all the slaps they hand out to each other.

The Connections Guy. He's got a tip for a horse that his brother/son/mate/dad/colleague owns a share of. Trainer said it's going way better than (insert multiple group winning stable mate), and they won't catch it. When it puts in a poor run and you bump into him again, he tells you it's pissed all the connections off, but it's alright, they're going to sell it to someone in Hong Kong. This guy also speaks to about 8-10 prominent trainers directly every week. Seems a bit unhinged.

The "Mum/Matron". She works behind the jump. Can man the bar, the tote, the punters club, tell you who got the highest score in the footy tips last week, change the form on the boards and tidy up the losing tickets, all on her own and all while calling everyone Darl and listening to inane punting war stories from the down-and-outs. She's the opposite of the surly bitch behind the jump doing nothing. They aren't as common as surly bitch unfortunately.
Click to expand...

Connections guy = A11dAtP0w3R :D
 
Jockey follower guy:- "Jeez that *insert form jockey's name* can't ride a loser at the moment boys."

Proceeds to back every horse ridden by Dean Yendall at Hamilton for the rest of the day, and blames the horse/track/weather when the $61 outsider doesn't salute, and everyone must bow to him when the $1.45 favourite gets up in the last.
 
I remember a long time ago at my old local. A punter shoved a $1000 to win ticket through the machine at the death one day before paying. As they jumped, the 'backed' horse stopped in the barrier losing any chance he may have had of winning. The said punter quickly made a bee line for the exit and into the adjoining shopping centre. Unfortunately for him, everyone including the staff knew who he was and the shop he ran in the shopping centre. The Cats Pyjamas I believe was the name of running mans horse.
 
Pecker said:
I remember a long time ago at my old local. A punter shoved a $1000 to win ticket through the machine at the death one day before paying. As they jumped, the 'backed' horse stopped in the barrier losing any chance he may have had of winning. The said punter quickly made a bee line for the exit and into the adjoining shopping centre. Unfortunately for him, everyone including the staff knew who he was and the shop he ran in the shopping centre. The Cats Pyjamas I believe was the name of running mans horse.
Click to expand...

What a desperate ******* idiot.
 

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Was down at the local TAB many, many years ago as a horse I owned a sixth of ran around at his fifth or sixth start. Still a maiden, the gelding hadn't shown much but was stepping up to 2100m or so at Kilmore. He was 50s and I had a lobster each way and cheered with amazement as he snuck up on the inside to win. An old-timer in the TAB also appeared to have a bit on him and we were celebrating the win when he remarked "I own him." I was a bit perplexed because I knew there were only six owners and I had met all of them at his first start. Anyway, I thought I would not embarrass him by telling him he was talking crap and decided to let it go. He went on to tell he had a few with the trainer as I indulged his flight of fantasy.

A few weeks later, at my boy's next start, I ventured up to Seymour, getting there for the first given the trainer had a runner I liked in the hurdle. Who do I find talking to the trainer as he's saddling up the hurdler? The old-timer from the TAB. Turned out he did in fact own a few with the same trainer as mine. Thought the old codger was going to have a heart attack when the trainer introduced me to him. "Oh, we've met," I cooly replied. "We go to the same TAB."

Suffice to say, neither of our horses ran a place that day.
 
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