Society & Culture The BigFooty Guide to getting the woman of Your Desire (Part 7)

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BALKAN

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I've never been on a date outside of tinder bitches.

It sounds fûcked up.

That is a bit messed up, but I doubt you're alone. A lot of people are gonna have a warped view of dating/the opposite sex thanks to these dating apps/websites.
 
Jul 7, 2003
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so been seeing my ex most nights - let's give her a name, Kate.

So Kate has basically said to me ok the reasons why we break up stand

And we'll break here, so as I remember the reasons were;

- don't want a relationship
- don't feel the same about you
- don't want to feel restricted in what I can and can't do

And picking it up again

And I don't want to be the soul reason of you being so happy or sad (I was very ******* cut up), but I dunno I miss you and I have no end game in mind IRT texting/seeing you , and I've missed you for a while but I've always held back from texting you and s**t for a while because I felt bad but I lost control a few times.

I said

- I don't definitely want a relationship either (I do)
- I don't still have the same strong feelings I once did (true at the time)
- remember you started messaging and wanting to see me, first night you wanted to come over I said no, you came anyway
- we can only keep doing this for so long...
- I don't want to be used as an in between guy until something better comes along

she agreed with this

thing is

I feel myself really really likin her again

I know this is just setting up for me to be ******* killed again

She keeps holding back from saying certain things which she feels i could misinterpret as false hope (I know her well)

But I don't want to cut it off, well I dunno if I can, to be honest - just because I do still maintain that hope.

Like if she didn't have feelings why does she keep coming over

I know GDs feelings on this, that I should just "move on" but trust me - I've tried.

Keep in mind this is the girl that was the first I fell for, my first proper relationship.

I'm going to be so ******* upset so soon I just no it.
 
Feb 25, 2013
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so been seeing my ex most nights - let's give her a name, Kate.

So Kate has basically said to me ok the reasons why we break up stand

And we'll break here, so as I remember the reasons were;

- don't want a relationship
- don't feel the same about you
- don't want to feel restricted in what I can and can't do

And picking it up again

And I don't want to be the soul reason of you being so happy or sad (I was very ******* cut up), but I dunno I miss you and I have no end game in mind IRT texting/seeing you , and I've missed you for a while but I've always held back from texting you and s**t for a while because I felt bad but I lost control a few times.

I said

- I don't definitely want a relationship either (I do)
- I don't still have the same strong feelings I once did (true at the time)
- remember you started messaging and wanting to see me, first night you wanted to come over I said no, you came anyway
- we can only keep doing this for so long...
- I don't want to be used as an in between guy until something better comes along

she agreed with this

thing is

I feel myself really really likin her again

I know this is just setting up for me to be ******* killed again

She keeps holding back from saying certain things which she feels i could misinterpret as false hope (I know her well)

But I don't want to cut it off, well I dunno if I can, to be honest - just because I do still maintain that hope.

Like if she didn't have feelings why does she keep coming over

I know GDs feelings on this, that I should just "move on" but trust me - I've tried.

Keep in mind this is the girl that was the first I fell for, my first proper relationship.

I'm going to be so ******* upset so soon I just no it.
Use her real name, then I'll listen
 
Jul 7, 2003
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Just be honest with her

yeh I thought about that but then I thought nah * that idea

i know we've got history but I don't want to come on as too strong and scare her off

but then I think, * if she's not gonna stay anyway, then you may aswell

But the thought of that makes me feel sick in my stomach
 
Feb 25, 2013
51,178
58,212
AFL Club
Brisbane Lions
so been seeing my ex most nights - let's give her a name, Kate.

So Kate has basically said to me ok the reasons why we break up stand

And we'll break here, so as I remember the reasons were;

- don't want a relationship
- don't feel the same about you
- don't want to feel restricted in what I can and can't do

And picking it up again

And I don't want to be the soul reason of you being so happy or sad (I was very ******* cut up), but I dunno I miss you and I have no end game in mind IRT texting/seeing you , and I've missed you for a while but I've always held back from texting you and s**t for a while because I felt bad but I lost control a few times.

I said

- I don't definitely want a relationship either (I do)
- I don't still have the same strong feelings I once did (true at the time)
- remember you started messaging and wanting to see me, first night you wanted to come over I said no, you came anyway
- we can only keep doing this for so long...
- I don't want to be used as an in between guy until something better comes along

she agreed with this

thing is

I feel myself really really likin her again

I know this is just setting up for me to be ******* killed again

She keeps holding back from saying certain things which she feels i could misinterpret as false hope (I know her well)

But I don't want to cut it off, well I dunno if I can, to be honest - just because I do still maintain that hope.

Like if she didn't have feelings why does she keep coming over

I know GDs feelings on this, that I should just "move on" but trust me - I've tried.

Keep in mind this is the girl that was the first I fell for, my first proper relationship.

I'm going to be so ******* upset so soon I just no it.
Just tell her you want a relationship and if she says no then cut her
 
Feb 25, 2013
51,178
58,212
AFL Club
Brisbane Lions
yeh I thought about that but then I thought nah **** that idea

i know we've got history but I don't want to come on as too strong and scare her off

but then I think, **** if she's not gonna stay anyway, then you may aswell

But the thought of that makes me feel sick in my stomach
Do it, you have to

If you do it you have nothing to lose

If you don't do it you have a lot to lose
 
Jul 7, 2003
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like tonight she comes over for dinner for then she had plans to go to her friends to buy s**t for that stupid bush doof thing this weekend

as she leaves I'm like oh you can stay here tonight if you want, if not see you when I see you and she's like oh maybe, like can tell she wants to but again think she wants to sleep at home as to not give off the impression that she wants anything

Last night doesn't mention anything and then at like nine she's like sooooo wanna come over

feel like a 16yo girl and I know that's how I'm acting and its ******* s**t because I'm usually fine with girls, like I do not get attached at all, slept with multiple girls since her and even been seeing the same girl for a few months a couple of times but I just can't get over Kate
 

Resistor

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yeh I thought about that but then I thought nah **** that idea

i know we've got history but I don't want to come on as too strong and scare her off

but then I think, **** if she's not gonna stay anyway, then you may aswell

But the thought of that makes me feel sick in my stomach
sometimes you just got to. There is no point feeling these thoughts in 6 months time, because both you guys have sidestepped the elephant in the room. You have to lay it all out or you'll continue to feel like s**t. In the end, if you aren't honest, she will get confused and then probably get angry at you, cause women
 

BALKAN

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Yeah you need to cut her off. I think you know this though.

Stop looking for little signals and hints that the tide will turn - just filling yourself with false hope

It sucks breh but I think a lot of us have been there. I agree with the above advice, lay it all out there and then be prepared to walk away.
 
Jul 7, 2003
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I think I posted in the hope that you guys would say what I wanted to hear but in the knowledge of what I was likely to get the above.

******* sucks, to be honest, having someone who makes you feel so vulnerable for so long.
 
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Aug 13, 2006
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I think I posted in the hope that you guys would say what I wanted to hear but in the knowledge of what I was likely to get the above.

Fûcking sucks, to be honest, having someone who makes you feel so vulnerable for so long.

We've all been there mate; but the fact she makes you feel like that is yet another reason you should put a stop to it.

She's using you - when you stop and look at it objectively, it's incredibly selfish, really, really selfish and unfair. I've had it happen to me, at the time, you sort of know it, but you struggle to break away. She'll use you for company, affection, support; until she finds someone else, then you'll be left wondering what went wrong, and probably heartbroken.

Like I said, we've all been there.

Go all or nothing; if it's not all, then it has to be nothing.
 
Haha, I was like this for like 2 years with my ex. Not worth it brah, it won't change. Keep banging chicks and live the single life. It's 10x better.

Or as my mate would say - Disregard females, acquire currency.
 

Croweater

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In all honesty, just break all association with her.

I did that with my ex. She was screwing me around; I knew it, she knew it, the next door neighbour's cat knew it. So I broke things off with her, deleted her number, deleted and blocked her on Facebook, deleted all photos off my phone (including nudes :(), and told myself I didn't deserve her s**t and could do a hell of a lot better.

By still talking to her, you're allowing her to influence you. You can't give her up if she's still seeing you and texting you. Give her zero ability to talk to you. Feelings fade, given enough time. You'll feel s**t for a while, mate. You will. It's inevitable. But in the long run, you'll find someone who respects you, treats you with dignity and is a real partner. And trust me; that chick that f*cked you around way back will be a distant memory.

How do I know? Because that's what has happened with me. :thumbsu:
 
Last edited:
Sep 11, 2006
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so been seeing my ex most nights - let's give her a name, Kate.

So Kate has basically said to me ok the reasons why we break up stand

And we'll break here, so as I remember the reasons were;

- don't want a relationship
- don't feel the same about you
- don't want to feel restricted in what I can and can't do

And picking it up again

And I don't want to be the soul reason of you being so happy or sad (I was very ******* cut up), but I dunno I miss you and I have no end game in mind IRT texting/seeing you , and I've missed you for a while but I've always held back from texting you and s**t for a while because I felt bad but I lost control a few times.

I said

- I don't definitely want a relationship either (I do)
- I don't still have the same strong feelings I once did (true at the time)
- remember you started messaging and wanting to see me, first night you wanted to come over I said no, you came anyway
- we can only keep doing this for so long...
- I don't want to be used as an in between guy until something better comes along

she agreed with this

thing is

I feel myself really really likin her again

I know this is just setting up for me to be ******* killed again

She keeps holding back from saying certain things which she feels i could misinterpret as false hope (I know her well)

But I don't want to cut it off, well I dunno if I can, to be honest - just because I do still maintain that hope.

Like if she didn't have feelings why does she keep coming over

I know GDs feelings on this, that I should just "move on" but trust me - I've tried.

Keep in mind this is the girl that was the first I fell for, my first proper relationship.

I'm going to be so ******* upset so soon I just no it.

Delete her from your life. Thank me in 2 years.
 
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