Roast The Media Watch thread

[Kong]

AFL wishes to correct a story published by The Age after they chose to publish a story online without waiting on a response from the AFL.

Rookies.

Always, always go to the AFL for your story, Fairfax.

 

[Stopher]

AFL Twitter said:
AFL wishes to correct a story published by The Age after they chose to publish a story online without waiting on a response from the AFL.

Caro had vanished. A morning came, and she was missing from work: a few thoughtless people commented on her absence. On the next day nobody mentioned her. On the third day Rohan went into the vestibule of the Real Footy Department to look at the notice-board. One of the notices carried a printed list of the members of the Footileaks Committee, of whom Caro had been one. It looked almost exactly as it had looked before -- nothing had been crossed out -- but it was one name shorter. It was enough. Caro had ceased to exist: she had never existed

 

[Kong]

Caro had vanished. A morning came, and she was missing from work: a few thoughtless people commented on her absence. On the next day nobody mentioned her. On the third day Rohan went into the vestibule of the Real Footy Department to look at the notice-board. One of the notices carried a printed list of the members of the Footileaks Committee, of whom Caro had been one. It looked almost exactly as it had looked before -- nothing had been crossed out -- but it was one name shorter. It was enough. Caro had ceased to exist: she had never existed

Love the Nineteen Eight Four references.

Scary.

 

[Stopher]

Love the Nineteen Eight Four references.

Scary.

It is indeed scary how something written so many years ago could be so apt at describing corrupt organisations in 2014.

 

[MNC Bomber]

Rookies.

Always, always go to the AFL for your story, Fairfax.

Too used to the AFL coming to them............allegedly

 

[Kong]

I'm not going to link to his article because he doesn't deserve it, but Jon Ralph managed to use the phrase "dodge infractions" in another unrelated article.

This time, it's about football on Good Friday.

I'm still waiting for him to respond to me on Twitter and clarify why we'd be "dodging" them; the last time he responded, he mentioned "bad governance".

 

[The Dustbin]

Did anyone else notice the AFL website didn't have the story about the restructuring of the football department (on the day, and the following day)? Only EFC ASADA related news makes it on to their site. Barrett must be in control!!

 

[Kong]

Did anyone else notice the AFL website didn't have the story about the restructuring of the football department (on the day, and the following day)? Only EFC ASADA related news makes it on to their site. Barrett must be in control!!

Obviously forgot to submit from both the AFL and Fairfax accounts.

 

[Burzum]

I'll be back in a minute: I'm... going outside. To...stalk...Hird and Jobe.

 

[Doss]

Even the sight of the face is rage inducing.

 

[daz17]

I'll be back in a minute: I'm... going outside. To...stalk...Hird and Jobe.

Damo here, in some breaking news, James Hird was spotted at his mail box today, more to come.

 

[Stopher]

Damo here, in some breaking news, James Hird was spotted at his mail box today, more to come.

'We can confirm that James Hird was in fact at his mail box earlier today. Mitch Cleary was there for all the latest.'

I hate Mitch Cleary already.

 

[Ben the Gooner]

Hey you purple headed *******, here's an actual sliding doors moment.

IF ... A St Kilda player wasn't umpiring a St Kilda match ... THEN ... Jobe Watson would have put Essendon 4 goals up and the Bombers probably would have stolen a win despite playing terribly.

 

[simoro1]

Our chairman has donated to the flight plan!!

http://www.news.com.au/travel/trave...l-at-tullamarine/story-e6frfq80-1226903502088








Just not the EFC one

 

[Doss]

Maybe it's really part of his grand plan to develop that massive Black Ops underground lab we've always been aspiring to.

 

[westking]

Anything changed on our media front yet? uhuh worse then ever

Ive been thinking about the hate on here and from our media over the last 18 months or so. Trying to justify why these reporters have chosen
to take the seek and destroy path against us. Why not one has seriously questioned the AFL process and ASADA on any sustained front. Anyway just of the top of my head:


Melbourne: Gary Lyon and Schwarze hate Essendon because we beat up on them in the 2000 GF
Nth Melb: Brayshaw and purple hate us because of something that happened in 1910 and a short rivalary in the 90's
Hawthorn: Brereton, Quartermaine, Dunstall, Harford, Mathews because we are Essendon
Geelong: Brownless, Mooney because Thompson decided to leave one day
Richmond: Wilson, Smith (haha), Bartlett, Ralph are your typical tall popey syndromers, desperate for attention and the long rivalry with us of course
Carlton: Tim Lane, Mahr because we are Essendon
Collingwood: Maguire because he is nothing but a two faced media/president sl..t
Footscray: Darcy, Stevens again tall popey syndromes and unlike Richmond, no rivalry's with anyone
and on and on and on...
Then there is the others and the interstaters who hate the AFL because its not the NRL or Soccer and Athletics or Basketball or whatever.
I can think of only two or three people that have taken a few steps back and thought about this with a clear mind. Chip LeGrand, Sam Newman and Finey at times.

 

[Kong]

westking101

The simple answer is that the AFL control everything. Nobody dares question them (publicly) because they fear the repercussions.

Do you think Peter "The One Who Knocks" Gordon really went out on his own accord to shame Essendon? Of course not. He's aware of who exactly's keeping his club afloat, and not to bite the hand that feeds him.

As for the media; the AFL actually chooses who has access to clubs, players, coaches.

Mick Warner (the Herald Sun journo) actually had his access to the finals revoked last year when he questioned the AFL in public.

This isn't a conspiracy theory. It's really simple. The AFL wanted a particular outcome with us, we fought it, so the AFL used everything and everyone in their power to force the outcome. Because they can.

 

[Ben the Gooner]

The Geelong et al. Fellatio Files Part MMDCCLXXVIII

B: Michael Hibberd (Ess) 99.11, Scott Thompson (NM) 81.5, Ted Richards (Syd) 67.11
HB: Luke Hodge (Haw) 88.29, Daniel Talia (Ade) 67.11, Cam Guthrie (Gee) 88.11
C: Travis Boak (PtA) 103.67, Jobe Watson (Ess) 113.4, Scott Pendlebury (Coll) 132
HF: Steve Johnson (Gee) 116.1, Jarryd Roughead (Haw) 89.8, Patrick Dangerfield (Ade) 115.5
F: Luke Dahlhaus (WB) 102, Tom Lynch (GCS) 80.44, Jack Gunston (Haw) 89.11
R: Matthew Lobbe (PtA) 84.62, Gary Ablett (GCS) 143, Joel Selwood (Gee) 119.11
I/C: Trent Cotchin (Ric) 101.11, Jeremy Cameron (GWS) 55.12, Josh Kennedy (Syd) 123.67 Robbie Gray (PtA) 107.89

One of these players is not on the same planet as the other 21 in terms of ability/performance etc.

See if you can pick which one it is and which club he plays for.

 

[eth-dog]

Lynch, GCS

 

[Ben the Gooner]

Bzzzzzt, wrong.

 

[Doss]

Guthrie.

 

[Ben the Gooner]

Cam Guthrie. Cam ******* Guthrie. Cameron ******* Guthrie.

This is the man deemed a better fit in that team than, oh, I don't know, let's say Brett Deledio, Brendon Goddard, Jimmy Bartel, Trent McKenzie, James Kelly, Heath Shaw, Nick Malceski etc. etc. etc.

Geelong's s**t doesn't stink though.

 

[Stopher]

Cam Guthrie. Cam ******* Guthrie. Cameron ******* Guthrie.

This is the man deemed a better fit in that team than, oh, I don't know, let's say Brett Deledio, Brendon Goddard, Jimmy Bartel, Trent McKenzie, James Kelly, Heath Shaw, Nick Malceski etc. etc. etc.

Geelong's s**t doesn't stink though.

Jon Anderson even called him a 'certain' selection. Wow.

 

[Kong]

"Mark Thompson says umpires could have cost...."

http://www.news.com.au/sport/breaki...rths-drew-petrie/story-fnect155-1226979583942

And yet in the video that they're actually referencing, he says no such thing.

 

[Doss]

http://www.news.com.au/sport/breaki...rths-drew-petrie/story-fnect155-1226979583942

And yet in the video that they're actually referencing, he says no such thing.

Paraphrasing and filling in gaps.

And sometimes, just plain making up garbage.

Gotta love it.