Roast The Melbourne Board NAPALM thread (hosted by Topkent)

Gotta watch out for those partial self-immolations. The blowtorch is a dangerous thing.

Agree with the mini-torch on the flat footys. Couldn't believe that could be allowed to happen at AFL level.
 

Topkent

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Gotta watch out for those partial self-immolations. The blowtorch is a dangerous thing.

Agree with the mini-torch on the flat footys. Couldn't believe that could be allowed to happen at AFL level.

I forgot to read the part on my gun that says 'when torching aim away from self'
 

Topkent

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UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM


The Blowtorch
Colin Garland Bernie Vince and Chris Dawes
Colin Garland bombing the ball from the D50 to about 47 lions players at a critical stage of the game
You could have won a BnF last year and now Im not even sure what your roll in the side is, seriously your nothing but a taller Dean Terlich at the moment and I think its time you were dropped to the Magoos for Georgiou

Bernard- Possibly your most consistent season since you won the BnF at the crows but fair dinkum mate that was horrible, How does someone with your skills kick the ball so poorly in what was perfect conditions for footy

Chris Dawes- * yeah we get it, the delivery and the set up is the worst in the AFL and there isnt much you can do about that
But for * sake when you have a chance to do something do it ******* properly, Sam Blease who was also having a shithouse game of footy ran past you to get an easy handball and you put it behind him to totally destroy the movement
Great Endeavour but you have no presence attacking the footy, your jumping like a basketballer. Get your knee high and jump at the footy and at least take some victims Daniel Merrett style


Mini Torch
Jack Watts, you werent soft on the weekend... but * me dead man get the ******* ball occasionally so you can stop the other spuds kicking it!!!

JKH- You were intimidated by the contact on the weekend, first time ive seen you like that

Our recruting staff
Be prepared to have the 2 of the top 4 picks again this offseason to work with you spuds
 

CTHORANGE

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I get the feeling Howe has taken over what Garlands role was in previous years, playing on smalls or talls / 3rd man up etc. Garlo needs to bring something else to the table, can't just be pure clamp down role with random brain fades with ball in hand, he needs to be more aggressive.
 
I'm going to take up the torch this week, and my victim is the one and only...

PAUL ROOS.

Yes you, Roosy. Your media performance in the past 24 hours has left a little bit to be desired, I feel. You're one of my favourites but we need better from you.

I have to go to class, but more to come. Watch this space.
 

Topkent

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I'm going to take up the torch this week, and my victim is the one and only...

PAUL ROOS.

Yes you, Roosy. Your media performance in the past 24 hours has left a little bit to be desired, I feel. You're one of my favourites but we need better from you.

I have to go to class, but more to come. Watch this space.

rain3.gif
 
Good torch of Roos I think. One of the interesting things about him being the head coach is that I (surprisingly) feel more inclined to criticise him than any 'unproven' coach we've had. I think it's because I know that he knows what's going on, so fluffing around issues doesn't cut it. With other coaches I guess I've been more reluctant and willing to go along for whatever wild ride they tried to take us on.

Don't know if that makes sense.
 

Cannon82

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Good torch of Roos I think. One of the interesting things about him being the head coach is that I (surprisingly) feel more inclined to criticise him than any 'unproven' coach we've had. I think it's because I know that he knows what's going on, so fluffing around issues doesn't cut it. With other coaches I guess I've been more reluctant and willing to go along for whatever wild ride they tried to take us on.

Don't know if that makes sense.

From what I read in the paper today, Roos was pretty unequivocale on the players who've known nothing but failure during their time at the club. I think we can expect a fair bit of wheeling and dealing to be done during the trade period, if that statement is anything to go by.
 

Topkent

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From what I read in the paper today, Roos was pretty unequivocale on the players who've known nothing but failure during their time at the club. I think we can expect a fair bit of wheeling and dealing to be done during the trade period, if that statement is anything to go by.

I think he might even let go a couple of the bigger 'names'
Because when your talking about years of abuse your not talking about Matt Jones and Terlich
Your talking more like the Garlands, Bails, Bleases, Tapscotts, Mckenzies etc
 

Cannon82

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I think he might even let go a couple of the bigger 'names'
Because when your talking about years of abuse your not talking about Matt Jones and Terlich
Your talking more like the Garlands, Bails, Bleases, Tapscotts, Mckenzies etc

Yep. If we play out the final month of the season like we are now, I'm expecting a fire sale.
 

Topkent

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Yah whether the Terlichs and co are good enough is debatable but I really got the impression that he thinks the core of the club is rotted beyond repair and that clearing out a couple of the 'triers' aint getting the job done
 
I'm going to take up the torch this week, and my victim is the one and only...

PAUL ROOS.

Yes you, Roosy. Your media performance in the past 24 hours has left a little bit to be desired, I feel. You're one of my favourites but we need better from you.

I have to go to class, but more to come. Watch this space.

I agree, his comments didn't sit well with me - they might be true, and I know he would have been hugely frustrated, but some of the articles that have come about after Roosy's comments have made me angry.
 

Topkent

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I agree, his comments didn't sit well with me - they might be true, and I know he would have been hugely frustrated, but some of the articles that have come about after Roosy's comments have made me angry.

Interesting there have been 2 articles written about Melbourne today
1 From Mark Robinson and one from Wilson

Weirdly enough the Wilson one is a far better article
Robbo basically just slammed Roos and us and called us shithouse and said we were borderline tanking again
Whilst Caro acknowledged that Roos is still grappling with the culture of the 09 tanking and what its done to us

Jim Stynes will always be an onfield legend for us but his administration has set this club back a decade atleast
 
Robbo's article is pure rubbish though, I like him generally because he's just a big/enthusiastic footy fan normally - but sometimes he really doesn't put much thought into his writing.
 
I think he might even let go a couple of the bigger 'names'
Because when your talking about years of abuse your not talking about Matt Jones and Terlich
Your talking more like the Garlands, Bails, Bleases, Tapscotts, Mckenzies etc
It's totally unfair to put Garland in there. Ludicrous, actually.

He's having one bad season, but nobody can accuse him of being mentally weak after the way he stood up last season.
 

Topkent

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It's totally unfair to put Garland in there. Ludicrous, actually.

He's having one bad season, but nobody can accuse him of being mentally weak after the way he stood up last season.
Last year was his one good season actually he wasnt much chop the year before either
Its too easy to keep putting the heat on the same blokes each week because we arent where we are because of Bail, Terlich and Mckenzie

Garland, Frawley, Dawes, Watts, Dunn, Howe and all the senior blokes have to take some responsibility as well
 

Pecker

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Does anyone else get the feeling were just moonwalking? You know, looks like were walking forward but just moving backwards!
 
Last year was his one good season actually he wasnt much chop the year before either
Its too easy to keep putting the heat on the same blokes each week because we arent where we are because of Bail, Terlich and Mckenzie

Garland, Frawley, Dawes, Watts, Dunn, Howe and all the senior blokes have to take some responsibility as well
2012 he was king of the brain fade, but before that he had 3 very good years ruined by injury.

I agree that it's not just the triers ruining it, but to put Garland in a pot with Blease, McKenzie and Tapscott insults the intelligence.
 

Topkent

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2012 he was king of the brain fade, but before that he had 3 very good years ruined by injury.

I agree that it's not just the triers ruining it, but to put Garland in a pot with Blease, McKenzie and Tapscott insults the intelligence.

You could argue that Dunn, Jetta, Jamar and many others are also up for discussion but Dunn and Jetta are having good years so there names can drop out
just as Garlands was out last year

I dont know what is wrong with him but this year his decision making has been on a level with Mckenzie and Terlich no doubt about it
 
Not telling anybody anything they don't know, but Garlo missed a chunk of pre-season with ankle surgery and has only played the last 3 months or so. Missing that much time impacts all players differently, so I'd be inclined to cut him some slack.
 

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When I heard Roos' comments about previous years, initially I wasnt overly impressed myself. After thinking about it however, Im fairly sure he's got enough runs on the board to not need to cover his own butt. I think he was probably just trying to find a way to keep the players believing in the new system, and not lose all confidence in what they're being taught (again).

On the players at the club, my opinion is that he was referring specifically to the following;

Jordie McKenzie
Mitch Clisby
Sam Blease
James Strauss
Daniel Nicholson
Michael Evans
Luke Tapscott
Dean Terlich
Jack Fitzpatrick

Rohan Bail
Matt Jones


Now the last 2 may escape de-listing or trade due to the need to cull too many others, but they should be VFL/fringe players. This is actually a pretty long list of s**t players on a single AFL list, that doesn't include any youngsters guys or rookies. These spots need to be for guys like Dom Barry, Viv Michie, Jimmy Toumpas, Aiden Riley - players who arent there yet, but we are still developing/finding out about them.

So, I can certainly see a 'big fish' - or someone not on this list being used as an example by Roos come year end - and when I look through the list to find an example.. my gut feeling is starting to be that it could be Jack Watts.

It would not surprise me, if Watts was thrown into a high-profile trade at the end of the year. I doubt we'd do it for a draft pick - but something along the lines of our priority pick and Jack Watts to Sydney, for Tom Mitchell, Zac Jones and Malceksi.

I love Wattsy, and I think he is an AFL player - but its really hard to carry a player that goes quiet in patches and struggles to tackle with intent, run defensively and put his head over the footy, in a side that needs to break the losing culture.
 
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