Media Under the Nanoscope: Season 19 Club Report Cards

[A Bit High]

A Bit High come in here and get the D.

Excellent, I have this D and Lucy's DD's

 

[Willo_]

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The lengthy off season brought some massive changes to the once named Geelong Gumbies. Following a trend seen at Baghdad and Alberton, the club chose to give itself a facelift. They threw off the rubber and brought in the fleas, so to speak. Not without some criticism from the SFA community at large, after their initial release of the "Westeros Direwolves" was met with diverse laughter and ridicule. Reflecting on this reaction from their peers the club leadership decided to fold faster than Juggalo Balla at a Poker table in Las Vegas, keeping their home in their name and dropping the Dire from their new mascot.

Many asked what they hoped to achieve with this. Previous teams, such as the Southern Dragons, had simply shortened their name while others changed their image while some, such as the Swamprats, seem to have simply done it for attention. Many at the Wolves felt the image of Gumbie, iconic to their history, afforded them less respect and as such had to go to make way for success both off and on field. Lets move on to their report card for Season 19 to see just how they faired:

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Despite finishing two games clear of the second last Bandits and a single game+percentage out of the finals they Wolves received a D. One would argue that any season that you dont make Finals is a fail, and few would argue. The Wolves still showed plenty of encouragement and started the season well thanks to a soft draw. The middle part of the year was their undoing, as they struggled through a winless 5 weeks. Most demoralising was that, apart from the Bears, they were never really in the contests. Even when they managed a solid score of 127 points their opponents, the Roys, held them off by 13 points.

They finished the last 6 rounds with a winning percent of 50 and extracted back to back revenge on both the Bandits and the Royals, teams who beat them earlier in the season. The loss to the eventual wooden spooners muffled the hope of a potential finals snatch, and the agonising loss to the Furies finished their season far below their, and the leagues expectations. The club would be hoping the off season brings them reflection on a season that wasnt, one or two big signings and a better launch into S20.

I can't argue with any of this

We were s**t, I can't help but feel partly responsible but then I remember that I am in no way responsible

 

[This Is Anfield]

I can't argue with any of this

We were s**t, I can't help but feel partly responsible but then I remember that I am in no way responsible

Hello Hirdy.

 

[Willo_]

Hello Hirdy.

I'm not quite that bad

I don't have any ANZAC medals to kiss goodnight to

 

[iBeng]

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After fighting off a lawsuit from pantskyle and his Las Vegas Bears, the Swamprats moved from Alberton to Sin City in the off season. Rising crime rates, less government handouts and a great range of pokies were revealed as the main reasons for the highly surprising move by the club. While other teams in the league made major overhauls or changes to their mascot the Rats were content with some new scenery, a goat and sheer hope for a better Season 19. And in many ways it worked. In others, it caused frustration for opposition as threads fell into laborious discussions about goats, goat culture and goat dreams. However we are here to see how the Rats went on the field:

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The first observation that is sure to cause some outcry is the Rats grade. C-. As mentioned previously, any club that doesnt make finals has essentially failed for the season. However in the case of the Swampies the SIM failed them. If not for the last game of the season and perhaps the length of the season itself, the Rats had a more legitimate right to play finals then two clubs to scraped into it.

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If not for that fateful draw to the Royals in the last game of the season the Rats had well and truly booked themselves a finals berth, being 3% clear of the Hawks and 5% clear of the Bears. Of course if they lost to the Royals then this wouldnt be of any use, as their points would have finished on 24 and a game behind both the Bears and Hawks. Just one extra behind or goal could have lead them to their first finals berth since Season 16. But onwards to the season that was!

The Rats had an interesting draw for the year with half their wins coming from bottom 4 teams and half coming over upsets against the Warriors, Demons and Furies. They suffered some narrow losses, including a 2 point loss to the Hawks and 4 points to the Royals in round 5. They were easily dismantled by the eventual Grand Finalists Dragons in round 6 during their three week losing streak, before bouncing back with easy wins over both the Bandits and the Demons. They finished the season with a higher percentage than half of those teams who eventually went onto finals, having more points for than the Furies, Royals, Demons and Hawks.

If the Rats can maintain their percentage and snatch a few more wins next season they could well see themselves at the pointy end of the year once more, something the club and its goat need to ensure their future in the league.

Tomorrow we look at the Las Vegas Bears!

 

[SSwans2011]

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Ah the Wonders. A team almost as good for puns as the Bears. Did you Wonder when the Wonders last won a flag? Dont be shocked, it was Season 17. Thats right...Just two seasons ago they were on top of the world. Now? Not so much. Whats gone wrong since they got to the top? Has the SIM forgotton their achievements? Or is it just a cruel mistress with a twisted sense of humour? We'll only find out when if becomes sentient or when we can force Mobbenfuhrer to give up his secrets. In the meantime, lets have a look at the season that both was, and wasnt:

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A tale of two halfs for the Wonders. A tale of the worse start to the season they have ever seen. Eight straight losses, including a few good beltings and some agonisingly close finishes. A few closer losses would have seen them avoid the spoon at the very least and hand it over to the Bandits. Instead they finished dead last thanks to percentage. They had some morale boosting wins over last years Wooden Spooners in the Bears, before also rolling the Bandits the following week. Then they fell back into old habbits, with three straight losses snuffing out a season already on its knees. A positive finish though, taking out the fellow bottom four Wolves and a very comfortable win over Finals bound Demons.

At the end of the day, no one who finishes last gets a pass. No one who finishes bottom four gets a pass either, but that much is obvious. Next season the Wonders would be hoping they can get the mojo back that won them a flag and a little bit of respect in the league.

Grade the season for only the matches where I named the team sheet. I've raised it in the Committee Room, but I want all of the Sweet FA to know of my elite team sheet posting ability.

 

[iBeng]

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Next up we have Vegases very own lineup of cutesy Bears. Lead by pantskyle, abandoned by Juggalo Balla and lifted by Broken, Season 19 proved to be a step in the right direction for the returning expansion club. Despite the revealation that pants would be bailing before S20 and their early finals departure at the hands of the Royals, season 19 was in every way a success. They finished well above their wooden spoon for S18 and tasted finals, blooding many rookies in the endgame of the league. Lets take a look at how this Bearly legal team got to where they did:

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The Bears recieved a B in their grading for a few reasons. Firstly, they played finals, even if it was just one game. Thats the best possible turn around from a wooden spoon. Secondly, they had an impressive second half of the year, with five straight wins, four coming from teams above them on the ladder. And lastly because I have a bit of a soft spot for them. Their season began in a much less confident manner though, with many writing them off after their four straight losses, claiming they hadnt changed. A win over the Wolves in Round 5 helped stem the critics lining up for a short while.

Over the next three games the Bears would add just one more win and two losses to sit 2-7 and well off the pace to make a difference. However someone clicked in the Dragons game. Either someone spiked the Powerade, DemonJim gave them a spray or brahj unlocked his inner Bear but whatever it was, the club began winning and winning convincingly. They dismantled the Dragons, held off the Rats, shocked the Warriors, snuck home against the Roys and comfortably accounted for the Hawks. Had they made it 6 wins in a row against the Dragons they would have finished above the Hawks and Demons, finishing 6th and a possibly different finals outcome.

Season 20 looms as a big chance for the club to push deeper (hehe) into finals territory. Could we see a Bears v Warriors Grand Final? Probaby. Well before a Rats v Royals one anyway.

 

[miss_kate18]

Nothing wrong with a good healthy B (don't tell my students that).

 

[cats2rise]

Looking forward to the rest of them. Woo!

 

[iBeng]

Looking forward to the rest of them. Woo!

Another one this afternoon once I get some more stuff done at work.

 

[This Is Anfield]

Another one this afternoon once I get some more stuff done at work.

Priorities Beng, priorities!

 

[cats2rise]

Another one this afternoon once I get some more stuff done at work.

I'm at work waiting.

 

[iBeng]

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Ah the Hawks, the resting place of many a Forwards ego. One wonders when they'll change to simpy "East Hawks" or at least recongise that everyone uses THE before their name. Either way, the off season brought two big recruits to the stalwart league team. General allround ego okeydoke7 and @Gentleman made the cross. Okeys addition forced loyal clubman Tarkyn_24 from his rightful spot at full forward while Gentleman fit in where he could. Many point out the delusion of both the club and their new Full Forward, who many had pointed out was well past his prime.

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In terms of wins, percentage and final ladder position this season should be viewed as a dissapointment for the clubs leadership. They lost games against clubs that should be beneath them (Royals, Demons twice, Bandits, Bears) and scraped wins over sides like the Bears and the Wonders. They managed to get revenge on the Demons come finals but were stopped shortly after by the Dragons, who have gone on to play this weekend in the Big Dance. Their forward line didnt fire as much as they hoped, with 1435 for the year. To put some fractions into that, 50% of the bottom four outscored the Hawks this year. The only outscored two teams that finished in the top 8.

Their defense however was more encouraging. Letting just 1428 through for the season keeping their highest score against to a low 128. The Warriors were reguarly putting teams to the sword this season yet got strangled to a measly score of 54 points. But as mentioned before, the forward line failed to capitalise on this, finishing 3 points behind on 51. New spearhead Okeydoke finished the season on 42 goals at an average 3.2. It was an unusually low scoring season for Full Forwards, with ALF winner DREAM TEAM BUFF only kicking 55.

Next season the Hawks would be hoping to increase their scoring power, reduce their losses against sides they should power past and last longer than two weeks come finals.

 

[cats2rise]

Surely cannot be happy with their season after the position they were in after Round 12.

 

[Les Norton]

Looking forward to Monday, when the Warriors have won the GF (by 28 points) seeing Bengs big fat juicy A+

 

[iBeng]

Looking forward to Monday, when the Warriors have won the GF (by 28 points) seeing Bengs big fat juicy A+

I should give the Warriors a D just for the hilariousness of that statement.

 

[This Is Anfield]

Les Norton is looking forward to Monday, when the Warriors have won the GF (by 28 points) seeing Bengs big fat juicy A+

You know you wanted to.

 

[TooUglyForFugly]

Looking forward to Monday, when the Warriors have won the GF (by 28 points) seeing Bengs big fat juicy A+

Gun was jumped.

 

[iBeng]

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It could be forgiven that Eth and his Demons would be slightly intoxicated this off season. They won the flag last season, holding off the Furies in a thriller. It wouldnt be forgiven however if they let their celebrations spill into the next season and failed to meet the high expectations they set. Fortunately they DID manage to make the Finals again, despite a short lived campaign therein. Which made them significantly more successful than the Wonders followup season to their last Big Dance.

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While last season they were a comfortable A this season they slipped back to a B-. They lost a full grade for their win/loss ratio and having the lowest percentage in the top 8, while they slipped further for their very brief finals campaign. Most disapointing is that they lost to the Hawks, a team they had comfortably beaten twice already in the last 10 weeks. Perhaps their Round 15 stinker against the last placed Wonders sapped their confidence, despite a positive leadup to the end of the season.

As mentioned before, their percentage was not at all encouraging. They scrapped into positive win territory by a single victory and never quite got on a roll through the season. Back to back losses against eventual Premiers in the Dragons and the Bandits handing them a 49 point defeat raised concerns early on, with a win over the Bears doing little steady confidence. Rounds 7 through to 11 netted some wins over eventual finalists the Furies and Royals. A three game winning streak showed a promise of some form before two losses ended their run.

Making another finals campaign is critical for the Demons in S20, as it is for any club. However having tasted success already the Demons should be one of the more eager clubs to get that feeling/badge back again.

 

[yyou]

i keep trying to convince my wife to let me give her an A!

 

[iBeng]

i keep trying to convince my wife to let me give her an A!

You SHOULD be giving her the D.

 

[iBeng]

Should have a few more of these up today/tomorrow. Been hectic at my new role at work.

 

[Danoz]

Should have a few more of these up today/tomorrow. Been hectic at my new role at work.

Pfft. Priorities.

 

[iBeng]

Pfft. Priorities.

Pfft. If I didnt just have my big boss come in here for a walk around to see what we've done so far Id have done report cards back to S10.

 

[Shermy]

Pfft. If I didnt just have my big boss come in here for a walk around to see what we've done so far Id have done report cards back to S10.

He walked around to look at nothing? was he trying to get a different perspective on it?