Media Monday Night: Talking Qooty Episode 15 with Noobz0r

[Gee Dub]

How nice of you to tag me in your interview filled with cries for attention, Gee Dub, clearly I'm getting to you, and it's only a matter of time until you stand down.

For what it's worth, Karnezis_13 demonstrated that he wasn't completely useless in the latest Hawks v Swamprats match thread, though his contributions lacked depth and were parrying his inadequacy with joking posts in my direction. The jokes were a pretty thin facade, however.

I didn't post it mate. Take that up with Danoz

He's an eloquent little bird, is Gee Dub. Talks the talk even if he doesn't walk it.

I'm pretty much a reverse ClarkeM I pretend to give a s**t when I really don't.

You have my axe Gee Dub

What would I need that for? To kill the chickens?

 

[Noobz0r]

I didn't post it mate. Take that up with Danoz

So when you used my name in reply, you had no idea that, nor intention for, me to be tagged?

 

[Gee Dub]

So when you used my name in reply, you had no idea that, nor intention for, me to be tagged?

I assumed there would be some form of editing process. Clearly Danoz is incompetent and running a shoddy production here.

 

[Danoz]

In an interview spanning months, interviewee PVF and interviewers TheFreshBanana and I have mutually decided enough is enough, and what we have will have to do.

TFB: Should I be preparing myself to be overthrown? Because, you know, three's a crowd...

PVF: No definitely not. I have no interest in being a captain or being in the leadership group at the Wonders at all. While it's hard to believe, being a captain of a SFA club is not as easy as people think. It should be easy but it isn't. Expectations are way too high for a league that should be fun. If you don't post enough, if your team doesn't post alot or if people are not posting the way other people want to post then it all comes back to the captain and everyone is calling for their head. Is it fair? Not at all but that's the life of a SFA captain nowadays. At the moment I'll just post my 5-20 posts a week and just start enjoying the league again.

TFB: What was the reason for coming back? Your teary farewell did seem like there was a possibility that there would be no coming back. Also, Big Brother is back, so it's not like you have nothing to waste your time on.

PVF: I was always going to come back, it was just a matter of when and not if. I think I was just missing the place. I mean when I posted my farewell thread I did not mention retirement once in the opening post because I don't believe anyone really ever retires from the league. I just needed a break after the short turnaround after we won the Premiership and I was away for 6 weeks so I'm feeling pretty refreshed and ready to go. And no Big Brother had no factor in my decision.

Danoz: So what are your plans for the Wonders and the league moving forward? Have you given any consideration to how you will fight the upcoming AFSACA (Aus Fantasy Sports Anti Cheating Association) investigation into the Wonders bribing their way to 4 premierships?

TFB: What?! Is this why you didn't get me anything for Kris Kringle last year?!

PVF: Absolutely not, I think if anything there would be people bribing the league office to not give us any premierships as alot of people have alot of hate for the Wonders. Tall-poppy syndrome at it's finest.

As for my plans going forward I have no idea. Although many people see me gone from the Wonders at the end of the season I don't see myself leaving and putting up with a bunch of players I've never played with before. Too much effort for this grumpy old man. I do plan on getting back to my absolute best though. I feel I've been going through the motions for the past couple of seasons and haven't been happy with my performance. Getting back into the All-SFA team would be my first goal and then who knows what else, my Mobbs medal has been feeling lonely so maybe I'll give him a playmate.

Danoz: What's your take on captaincy and how the role should be performed?

TFB: And who's an exemplary example of this?

PVF: My view is, good luck to you because it doesn't matter what you do you are wrong. Being a captain should be simple. Post the team, get the players that NEED it involved in the match thread and get new recruits in and look after them. Unfortunately it's not as simple as that. If I had my time again I would've done it differently.

It's funny, at the end of Season 17 I was contemplating whether to put you on as co-captain or not and I thought and I think you thought aswell that you weren't ready so I asked ClarkeM instead. I was wrong. You had the enthusiasm and leadership needed to be a captain of the Wonders and you have proven to be the right choice along with croweater 41. I really admire the way you handle the rookies and try and push them towards the right direction and improve them as posters. So yes you are a great example

Danoz: Why do you think there is a perception/demand for captains to be/do more than what you stated?

PVF: Because everyone has high expectations for captains when it's not really warranted. It just takes the fun out of the game.

Danoz: Do you think there is a way to change this? If so how would you go about changing it? If not, why do you bother complaining?

PVF: Who knows? Things will only change if people want them to change. I keep complaining because as long as I have a working keyboard I will voice my opinions whether they are heard or not. People need to realize this is a fantasy game and not to take it soo damn seriously.

Danoz: So there won't be any wrist slitting over the Wonders terrible season then?

PVF: Oh lord no, we planned it perfectly. Much like some certain AFL team, we like winning premierships in odd seasons so we thought we'd give this one away and prepare our speeches for when we win it next season.

Danoz: Anyway, what are your plans for the offseason?

PVF: Drinking, hookers, drugs, drinking, fights, lock-up and maybe abit more drinking.

And then maybe prepare for next season. Will be looking forward to starting up the Royal Rumble to get the next season off to a heated start.

Danoz: Ah the rumble. An old classic I'm sure a few will be looking forward to.

TFB: On a scale of 1 to 10, how shocked were you at the shock retirement?

PVF: 10 for it not happening sooner. I assume we are talking about the legendary eaglesfan99?

Danoz: I think that's a safe assumption. Who will win this week and who will win the premiership from here?

PVF: Hope the Demons and Warriors beat the other two teams by 100 points each. As for the Premiership I would like to see the Demons finally get up, I have a soft spot for them because they are my former team and I'm sick of them being depressed all the time.

Well that concludes this months interview, thanks for your insight PVF, and with that TFB and I bid you adieu.

 

[The Filth Wizard]

Well, that was boring.

 

[ClarkeM]

Well, that was boring.

Yep. It feels like Season 12 again....

 

[The Filth Wizard]

Two replies in ten hours.

Ya still got it, PVF.

 

[Marlowe]

Two replies in ten hours.

Ya still got it, PVF.

Wacky Tiger inexplicably likes this.

 

[pantskyle]

Interview spanned months yet the end result put me to sleep.

What a ******* bore.

 

[This Is Anfield]

Wacky Tiger inexplicably likes this.

Wacky Tiger is inexplicable.

 

[PVF]

Interview spanned months yet the end result put me to sleep.

What a ******* bore.

I don't interview well

Should've got pissed.

YOLO.

 

[TheFreshBanana]

PVF kept dropping his phone in the toilet.

 

[Danoz]

Welcome to the 15th and final episode of Talking Qooty for season 18. This week TheFreshBanana and I have Noobz0r, vice captain of the Swamprats with us.

Danoz: I've always wanted to know where your name came from? It's like you enjoy being the ultimate nerd?

Noobz: It's a pretty boring name to be honest. In my formative years I spent a lot of my free time playing a PC FPS called Battlefield 1942. Noobz0r is basically the final version of the gamertag I used in that, and I jumped on BigFooty as it got to that stage. Nobody -> Noobody -> Nooby -> Noobz0r.

Danoz: You're right. It is boring. So the 'Rats season is over early again, what will you be doing with your players over the off-season to keep them entertained? I also heard a rumour you may be taking on a more senior leadership position?

Noobz: Ask a boring question, get a boring answer . Keeping the 'Rats entertained is actually quite easy, in fact they were so entertained this season that they forgot how to play qooty. I_Dont_Care spent 84 hours straight in a strip club during round 9, and missed the first half of our game against the Hawks. So it shouldn't be too much of a problem! And as for the leadership position, I'm not sure how you heard about that since I was only offered the role 48 hours ago... Let's just say I'm keen to take an active role taking the 'Rats forward towards finals again next year!

Danoz: Noobz why is gee dub the worst captain in the SFA?

Noobz: I have a particular view on what makes a good captain in the SFA. It has to be a poster who exudes substance, not in the amount of words they type, but the depth of their argument. It has to be a poster demonstrating strong, well-rounded, banter. Gee Dub as a poster and as a captain has become worn, and he doesn't post with the same substance anymore. He trots out tired one liners, and barely raises a whimper when called out. He seems to have lost the passion, and you can't have a passionate-less leader, that leads to a passionate-less qooty side.

I certainly would find it hard to post under his captaincy, or even post in conjunction with him as a team mate.

Danoz: Why then do you play for the Rats? MannumPower has gone awol, and spookism only posts occasionally also?

Noobz: Firstly, I certainly wouldn't say that spookism only posts occasionally, he was our 4th highest poster with almost 18 posts per match thread on average and continues to have a strong presence around the league. MannumPower taking a break was unfortunate timing, but we should be filling that vacancy before S19. And I'm certainly committed to improving my personal posting output next season as I was hit and miss this season, and committed to improving the 'Rats on and off field performance in S19. A commitment Gee Dub doesn't seem to have the attitude for at the Bandits.

TFB: Do you believe he should relinquish his captaincy? What if there is no better alternative?

Noobz: My dream result would be beez increasing his presence and taking the helm once again as he is definitely the Bandits best poster when he graces us with his presence. However that won't happen, so I see Bengwatkins as the better alternative, and I certainly think Gee Dub should give it away.

Danoz: I want to visit an interesting comment you just made, "we should be filling that vacancy before S19". What do you mean by this? Is MP leaving altogether?

Noobz: There's going to be a restructuring of leadership at the 'Rats, I'm not really in a position to comment about MP as spookism is the one with his finger on the pulse of that situation.

Danoz: Given the rumour I heard about you stepping up, I presume you will become co-captain with Spook. A real shame MP has been lost to the league, though I can understand this move given he was struggling to stay engrossed in the topics circling the league. So what about some of your other senior posters, MoOP especially. He's dropped off a lot recently as well, can we expect a resurgence from him next season?

Noobz: I certainly wouldn't go as far as to say that MP is being lost to the league. He's certainly not retiring completely, nor will he be delisted from the 'Rats. MoOP is an odd one, both in posting style and frequency. He's like that Uncle you wouldn't see at 2 Christmases in a row, and then he will randomly show up with a carton of beer and a hooker at a family BBQ. But we love him and don't put expectations on his regularity of posting as real life prevents him from posting 800 times in match threads anymore.

TFB: With DREAM TEAM BUFF co captaining the Gumbies next season, will you be shifting cross hairs from Gee Dub to him, considering if you search his post history in this league you can read all of his one liners right then and there?

Noobz: I won't need the search function, I think DTB is a poor choice of co-captaincy, though I'm not at all surprised someone of his standing in the league is set to take over the Gumbies. It says a lot that I didn't even know he posted in the SFA. A captain needs to post outside of match threads and have a league wide presence. A Bit High has done a great job lifting match thread posting in Geelong, however he hasn't managed to cultivate it in media threads and the like. Also, even the way it was announced was very un-captain like. A poor one-line post in which he bignotes his promotion before mentioning ABH. ABH should have also been the one to announce it, as he would have done it with the brevity it deserves.

The difference is that Gee Dub once had it, but now doesn't. DTB has never had it.

Personally I think Tayl0r should be solo captain.

Danoz: But Tayl0r rarely ventures outside of match/team threads herself? What makes you think she should be sole captain?

Noobz: She's easily the best poster, and the one with the most league recognition. I agree that she also rarely posts outside of match threads, however I think she has the most potential to, and the captaincy would force her to. Her posting style is one that would be popular in the league, and would create the best public face for the Gumbies.

DTB's posting style doesn't have the same potential.

TFB: On the topic, can we, at Talking Qooty, be the first to announce the Rats signing A Bit High?

Danoz: *cough*

Noobz: We are respecting A Bit High 's wishes in regards to waiting until the post-season to initiate a discussion with him. We will be mounting a strong case, though.

Danoz: So in other words you'll be approaching ABH, as you guys are both in post-season?

Noobz: We'd be silly not to.

Danoz: I also wanted to ask you about your association with notorious underworld figure Kern Hinkely. I've heard he is so bad, he chews the ends of pencils that don't belong to him. Why did the Rats employ a hired goon to coach your shambles of a qootball club?

Noobz: There is nothing more infuriating than this. I bought a box of 100 personalised pencils with my name on them, and within one day I walk into his office and he has 2 in his mouth, 4 chewed on his desk and he was picking his ear with another. The rest couldn't be found. And he was hired because he won the Golden Ticket competition run by West End. He found the lucky block with the ticket, thus winning the coaching role.

Danoz: Aside from the obvious frustrations, what's it like working with convicted drug trafficker and alleged murderer, Kern?

Noobz: It has been a breath of fresh air. The 'Rats playing group are constantly in trouble with the law and several underworld figures. Having Kern around the club has created a culture in the community where we are no longer hassled by the authorities, or the shady underbelly of Alberton.

He is also an inspirational speaker.

Danoz: What's your favourite Kern-ism?

Noobz: "Nerbzer yer cernt kerk 50m ser sterp trying"

Danoz: So now the season is over, what will you be doing to pass the time?

Noobz: I'll be spending most of my time booting croweater 41 from the Flogville Brothel. Outside of that, running my charity "Qooty For All", where I go around to poorer suburbs, schools and the like, firing qooty's at children from a cannon.

It's as fun as it sounds.

TFB: Who will be captaining the Swamprats next season? Are you looking for a (not so big) promotion?

Noobz: spookism and I will be co-captaining.

TFB: What's your thoughts on Uncle_Leo retiring?

Noobz: I liked Leo, and I think the league has lost something. Though I'm not capable of doing it myself, I loved reading his huge battles with posters, and people were way to harsh on him. The SFA relies on activity, and UL created a s**t ton of it.

TFB: Thoughts on this seasons grand final?

Noobz: I didn't watch the Grand Final as I don't have internet at the moment and I dropped my smart phone in a toilet. I'll watch a replay of it this afternoon. I take it the Demons won, though?

TFB: Yeah, the Demons won. Thanks for doing this interview in person due to your loss of internet.

Danoz: And that wraps up this episode of Talking Qooty. Many thanks to Nooz0r and all who've joined us over this long season. We've had fun, and we hope you have too. Until next time, we bid you adieu.

 

[The Filth Wizard]

Great article guys.

I'll read it when I get home.

 

[I Dont Care]

Great article guys.

I'll read it when I get home.

I'm...if you haven't read it yet, how do you know if it's great?
It is a great article though, but I would like to clarify that 26 of those 84 hours I accumulated at that brothel were spent looking for my clothes, while another 15 hours were wasted looking for the exit